Jack Monroe #109 Jack Monroe’s network bandwidth is low

[funkyraspberry]

Hi team, first time poster. I'm the squig who seemingly went 'awful quiet' but actually just has to go to work to earn my money like a normal poor. She remarkably hasn't blocked me yet, which I think means she's gearing up for another feeble attempt at a pile-on. If so, I'll disappear off here again - know the rules about interaction, and she's bloody well asking for it.

She'll declare me a troll or a bully, but I'm just what she hates the most - just a normal person who has seen through her bullshit! I actually never respond to anything on Twitter and instead just use it to passively observe but she is so rude, dishonest and hypocritical that she's worn me down. She isn't fit for a career in the spotlight because she evidently can't cope with it. That's fine - neither could I.

Anyway - love your work x

 

[lilamay]

Yes squiggle!

 

[Scarletfever]

OH HOLY SHIT.

I've caught her out on the funniest and most pointless lie.

The bullshit about paying for shopping with GoHenry? Which is a card produced in partnership with Visa (according to their website)?

On her Asda receipt yesterday it says she paid by Debit Mastercard. She's tried to blur it out but left the tops of the letters.

What. The. Fuck.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I get up at 6ish every morning. What does she want, a medal?

If these are just going into a post box, why make two trips? She has a huge backpack and those two extra bags she bought yesterday.

If they have to be weighed and are over the counter, what post office is open at that time? And the point about the huge backpack and extra bags still stand. Once again it doesn't add up.

“I get up when I want, except on Monday when I’m rudely awakened by the patrons.

I put my traaaaazers on, have a litre of tea and pretend I’m leaving the house”

Pics of the post in the postbox please Jack or else I shan’t believe they were really posted...

 

[Silver Linings]

Bwaaaahhaa

 

[Nippybippy]

Delurking for the first time ever because finally angry enough at the manipulation to not care about her feelings. I always knew she knew what she was doing—but the going on and on lying about the $20 shop is infuriating (among the other infuriating lies).

American, former fan, wondered why I couldn’t get my budget anywhere close to $10 per week when she could. I’m a far better cook and economist and love food. Also a single mom in a high cost of living city with no sideboard addiction.

What tipped me over the edge tonight (of all the things) was soapgate. I dated an abusive sociopath a year and a half ago. He was from Wales which isn’t pertinent to the story but funny just because I’m chatting you you lovely British fraus. Anyway, he lied about his soap. We met in the states. He said something about using the same kind of laundry soap as me. The natural crap without fragrance. I went to visit him in Wales a couple of months later. The mask slipped the first night and I was scared out of my mind...

Anyway, I ended up finishing the week out there because I rationalized his behavior due to some personal tragedies he had. So it goes. I’m glad we never lived in the same city. Annnywayyyy, I did laundry there. The soap was super fragrant non-eco save the whales stuff. What a thing to lie about. Lots of that stuff.

I could go on and on with their similarities, and also in criticism of JM’s behaviors, but SHANT because I have to start watching the British Baking show and finishing my drink.

To the frau who called her friend’s mom, you did the right thing. That’s true love and friendship.

Back to likely lurking and not carry on too much here.

Oh! And I had unfollowed JM prior to the JO debacle, I couldn’t stand the way she acted and she seemed like a compulsive liar. Occasionally I’d visit her page and the JO thing happened—laughable that she thought they were on par with each other cooking/presenting wise. And that’s what brought me to this thread.

Oh but one more thing—what happened to the pig person?! Sometimes I skip pages! In a later thread it was said they were blocked or something and I was wondering what I missed as they were active for awhile and I liked hearing about the pigs

Also SHEEP.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I just want to say that whilst her doctorate might be honourary the skills you lot display on the daily absolutely floor me, from triangulation to search engine optimisation to luxury goods tracking, you're flippin' awesome.

It's one of the things that makes me laugh most on here, the triangulating various items. She'll post a seemingly bland, uninteresting photo, and someone pipes up with - "curtains, John Lewis, 300 quid" .

 

[Harrybosch]

Listen up, here's a useful life lesson for you little Hausfrauen.

When a fox has eaten up your garden hose and you need a new one, make sure you get the person who is to blame (or the fox) to pay for it. It's important that everyone knows it wasn't you. You are fully housetrained after all. With the fox funds, scamper off to the hardware shop and ask the friendly old chap behind the counter to give you some advice on garden hoses. There are so many. Some are long, some a short. Most are round and allow water to pass through it, but there are other options, like square ones with lots of tiny holes or ones made out of gold. It'll probably get quite bewildering for your teeny weeny lady brains and neither a lady doctor nor red red lipstick will help in this situation. So now, listen up ladies, now is the time to call your dad. Because dads know about hoes.

 

[Alansbigplate]

I’m taking her meaning that Twitter is the coliseum, she is like Joaquin Phoenix in Gladiator, her followers are the peasants in the crowd and Tattle is Russell Crowe.

 

[Veronicaaa]

US Patreon: oooh Jack's gone to the post office! Can't wait to finally get the exclusive rewards I've paid for! *Rubs hands together*

Jack: I DON'T WANT TO OVERWHELM THE COUNTER STAFF OKAY!

US Patreon: But you're self employed so you could go back anoth-

Jack: I SAID I DON'T WANT TO OVERWHELM THEM! I'M THE GOOD GUY HERE!

Didn't care much about overwhelming them when she was posting Frazzles to Australia did she?

 

[funkyraspberry]

Welcome! Were you already aware of our body of work here, or did someone point you in our direction after your tangle with Miss Narcy-pants? If you do have to disappear to interact, come back and stay when you've had enough of her, it's nice here.

Lurker of a few months, apologies if that's a bit frowned upon having now interacted but she's just a tit isn't she.

Partner had never heard of her when I moaned to him a few weeks ago. Told him I cracked today - he said he asked his dad (a very avid cook who has been through more hardships than Jack could ever know) if he knew of her and he responded 'yes, she's a right twat'.

So it's certainly not just us!

 

[blurstoftimes]

so to summarise: she wears teething necklaces, won't share her colouring crayons and has a special bank account designed for pocket money

 

[Oofadoofa]

I wish her followers would publicly call out the BBC and Hellmans for not paying freelancers on time. It's pretty outrageous.

View attachment 321587

That 'gone awful quiet' tweet, it shows her for the bully that she is. She thought she had made a winning point and wanted to highlight the fact so that her pack of twats to see and join in, little did she know that the incoming reply was a mic-drop moment. But never let it be said that she's an innocent victim of online bullying, she just despises being played at a game she created.

 

[Captainmouse]

Twitter is awake

 

[girolle]

Hallo Fraus!
I've been a long time lurker but finally caved (mainly so I could have a better look at the screenshots! ) but I just cannot believe what I see with Jack half most of the time. There used to be a time where I liked Jack's recipes - I would (albeit blindly) recommend them to friends when I was a student and thought that she had a few good ideas. But then, something changed. I used to follow Jack on Twitter and, to be quite honest, I got really bored with the petulant outbursts, the promise of exciting plans which were never delivered, and pictures of the same-old slow cooker food. I grew really tired of her 'brand'...if you can call it that at all. I just don't think she's got any professional panache behind her, not like Nigella or Nigel Slater. Doing a bit of a deep cut on myself here but what did start to p me off was her talking about rheumatoid arthritis. I had it when I was younger and good lord to this day can I still remember the pain. I personally started to think she was being disingenuous when one second, she would talk about being in writhing pain from the RA and then, all of a sudden, she would magically be able to walk the length and breadth of Essex? (I'm exaggerating for effect, but my opinion/point still stands). I know that when I was at the height of experiencing arthritic pain, walking up and down the stairs was unbearable, and that was without my joints giving way. This then brought me to you after Jack alluded to here under one of her Twitter tirades. I wanted to see for myself what was being said and just found people sharing their honest opinion? I was hooked after that. In my opinion, one of Jack's biggest pitfalls is overexposing every detail of her life. Every single thing is shared. I don't think she's quite worked out that it's exactly that which invites more criticism and speculation.

 

[TVC15]

Is “squirty cream” canned whipped cream? Lol. Charming. I put butter on my scones over here in Canada. Yes, I understand this means I’ll never have any savings, but I can’t deny myself the luxury of butter. People call me irresponsible as I butter my toast in the morning. “Butter? On your budget? Have you lost your senses? Have you won the lottery?” Hey, call me crazy, but blowing all my money on a stick of butter every month is just my particular brand of chaos.

 

[Harrybosch]

It’s utter bullshit. She’s the culinary equivalent of Jay from the inbetweeners.

Years ago, as a baby vegan, I wrote to all major UK supermarkets asking them to start stocking vegan sandwiches. I made suggestions, like 'your falafel sandwich would be vegan, if you just replaced the mayo with a vegan dressing', etc. A few years later, all major supermarkets stock vegan sandwiches. Where's my paycheck?

 

[LeftToMyOwnDevices]

“And not something your peers would do”
Exactly

Please let me know if not allowed and I’ll delete

 

[Pocahontas]

Christ, she doesn’t have any clotted cream, ok? If she can’t afford no butter, she certainly can’t afford clotted cream. Clotted cream is only for people who can drive or wear bras outside.

 

[ScamSandwich]

It's one of the things that makes me laugh most on here, the triangulating various items. She'll post a seemingly bland, uninteresting photo, and someone pipes up with - "curtains, John Lewis, 300 quid" .

Curtains, 300 quid, John Lewis
Smol wooden calculator, 20 quid
Fancy cheese, 'gifted', Waitrose
Belly laughs several times a day because Coven: priceless