Jack Monroe #109 Jack Monroe’s network bandwidth is low

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Only 16 hours a day now? 20 per cent less than normal 🙄
If you’re genuinely spending 16 hours a day working and producing erm not a lot that’s billable then you need to look at your business model. Except she clearly counts arsing around on Twitter, cooking her own meals and going to Asda as work so why am I even like this it’s just bollocks isn’t it
 
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SHE DOES NOT WORK 16 HOURS A DAY.

Super busy Jack is one of my least favourite Jack's. She has no idea what working full time means. If a member of my team told me they were too busy to do a task, yet I saw them tweeting about scones, it would be written warning time.
 
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Her admin assistant is going to be the last person left on furlough in the country, isn't she? 🙄
 
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Just think someone else could have that with a major supermarket if they didn't cook such terrifying slop and didn't go around making horrible comments about politicians deceased children.

I always picture her fuming when this advert comes on - "Why this little upstart and not me? She does, Jack. She does twirls, and backstage with the girls".


 
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Does anyone know why she doesn't just get her business post picked up from home? Yes there is a cost attached to it but like any business cost it's passed on to the customer either in the p&p charge or within the overall price and would surely form part of your planning when working out your Patreon tiers and other prices. I don't know why I'm even asking it's because she's Jack and she's a preposterous collapsing clown car of a person.
Sorry it was just starting to make me really angry and I needed to get it off my chest. As you were.
 
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Her admin assistant is going to be the last person left on furlough in the country, isn't she? 🙄
I've just had a thought! She said before that she paid the admin assistant with money from her Patreon (there'll be screenshots of that somewhere, I know I'm not making it up). So if she's getting money from the furlough scheme to pay Caroline, she's pocketing that extra Patreon money herself. Quids in really.
 
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Is “squirty cream” canned whipped cream? Lol. Charming. I put butter on my scones over here in Canada. Yes, I understand this means I’ll never have any savings, but I can’t deny myself the luxury of butter. People call me irresponsible as I butter my toast in the morning. “Butter? On your budget? Have you lost your senses? Have you won the lottery?” Hey, call me crazy, but blowing all my money on a stick of butter every month is just my particular brand of chaos.
 
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I have never used a slow cooker so honest questions: 1. Is her love of them why all her food has to be liquid? Like you can only do stews in them? 2. Can you not just make the same thing in a casserole dish which is far more cost effective?
 
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I've just had a thought! She said before that she paid the admin assistant with money from her Patreon (there'll be screenshots of that somewhere, I know I'm not making it up). So if she's getting money from the furlough scheme to pay Caroline, she's pocketing that extra Patreon money herself. Quids in really.
She said she hadn’t accessed the furlough scheme in #31 but had put Caroline on furlough out of her own (pensioners’) pocket. We thought cos she submitted tax return late she’s missed out
 
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Is “squirty cream” canned whipped cream? Lol. Charming. I put butter on my scones over here in Canada. Yes, I understand this means I’ll never have any savings, but I can’t deny myself the luxury of butter. People call me irresponsible as I butter my toast in the morning. “Butter? On your budget? Have you lost your senses? Have you won the lottery?” Hey, call me crazy, but blowing all my money on a stick of butter every month is just my particular brand of chaos.
Don’t you have your scones with gravy in the US of A?
I like all those little sticks of butter you see in US baking shows.
 
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Half cocked Monroe APU for turmeric to be effective it needs to have curcumin added I.e pepper in the correct ratio 🙄
We don't waste time with trivial details like that! Just bung it in whatever you're making, it doesn't even need to be cooked out.

Or, alternatively.. any other spice as they're basically all the same.

Hope this helps! xoxo
 
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She said she hadn’t accessed the furlough scheme in #31 but had put Caroline on furlough out of her own (pensioners’) pocket. We thought cos she submitted tax return late she’s missed out
But you see, I don't believe her! Also I think she later said she'd managed to access the furlough money?
 
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But you see, I don't believe her! Also I think she later said she'd managed to access the furlough money?
Ha yes there’s always the chance, I think after this tit is all over there will be lots of investigations going on by HMRC into whether the system was abused by businesses big and small
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View attachment 322221

I am loving her palpable panic at this guy making her commit to things on twitter. “DM me!” “DM me!”
Go ahead and talk about it Jack, makes no odds if its public or private we all know it'll never happen anyway.

LOL at Twitter being a collesium, and hooting at the thought of the cabal turning up at court as a collective of Roman gladiators 😂😂😂
 
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Why is the admin assistant still furloughed when there is clear evidence that there's work that needs to be done to keep the 'business' running. Isn't furlough for when you cannot do your work from home or where there is no work for you to do due to covid lockdown/restrictions?
This will never not make me angry! She consistently says Caroline is Furloughed. She is not. I deal with young people and employment/training. I deal with 'Furlough' and the issues with it a lot.
You can only claim the Furlough payments if your job/company cannot function as a direct result of Covid.
Jack and her business has not been affected by Covid. If anything she has profited from it (dkl would not have happened unless covid happened) She herself posted a very long list of 'work' on her very public Twitter.
There is plenty of work for an assistant to do.
If Caroline is shielding she can easily work from home. Jack would have to supply a laptop/mobile etc but she can still work.
If, for whatever reason, Jack has told her to not work she will still have to pay her. If Jack is reclaiming any of Caroline's wages under the Furlough scheme then this is pretty much benefit fraud.
In her visit here she stated Caroline was not on Furlough, yet still says it on Twitter as an excuse why stuff isn t getting done. So she's lying to cover herself.

ugh she is making me mad today!!!
 
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