Helen Anderson #9 had a threesome, kind of..

[sorenips]

SCENE: THE COUNSELLOR'S OFFICE

HELEN ENTERS, WEARING A GIANT FUR COAT AND A PAIR OF DIRTY CONVERSE. SHE IS WEARING A LOT OF MAKE-UP - HEAVY BLUE EYESHADOW, BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK AND HEAVY ORANGE BLUSHER. THE COUNSELLOR IS SAT IN A CHAIR, OPPOSITE AN EMPTY CHAIR.

Counsellor: Good morning, Helen

Helen: ORWOOOOOIGHT?

Counsellor: Yes, I'm great thank you, come and sit down

Helen: Ooh, I will, give me a second, I've been at boot camp and it was bum and leg day! Kat 'ad me doin' lunges! Me morning coffee was kickin' in and I made a right stench if ya know wot I mean!

Counsellor: That's not a problem, you can stand if you wa-

Helen: It made me laff though, Fil said last night that I've got a rotten bottom! He's so funny! He was playing on COD and I was 'avin a lovely Lush baff, bit of self-care ya know, and I did a little fart in the baff, and Fil 'eard it through 'is headset!

Counsellor: How funny. So how has your week bee-

Helen: Sorry, do ya mind if I 'ave a quick snack? I nipped into Waitrose on the way 'ere, I 'ad to get some kievs. I'm just gonna 'ave some crisps. Wanna get involved?

Counsellor: No thank you, I've just eaten. So how has your week been?

Helen: Orwoight really. I mean I've been 'avin the same problem though

Counsellor: Ok, do you think it's got worse, better or about the same?

HELEN SITS DOWN AND TAKES A TURKEY, STUFFING AND BACON SANDWICH OUT OF HER BAG, TAKES IT OUT OF ITS PACKET AND PUTS THE SANDWICH ON HER LAP. SHE OPENS A LARGE BAG OF SALT AND VINEGAR BALSAMIC KETTLE CHIPS, OPENS THE SANDWICH AND STARTS LAYERING CRISPS ON THE OPEN SANDWICH, BEFORE REASSEMBLING IT. SHE THEN SUCKS THE CRISP RESIDUE OFF EACH OF HER FINGERS BEFORE TUCKING INTO THE SANDWICH. THE COUNSELLOR GLANCES AT HER WATCH.

Helen: I fink it's worse actually. Like Fil says I'm ovafinkin it, but it's affectin' everyfin I do. I fink everyone is finkin it about me, I can tell everyone is judgin' me.

Counsellor: Do you think I'm judging you for it?

Helen: Well, yeah. I mean, everyone does. But I understand. It's hard for people to just see me for me wivout judgin' me.

Counsellor: I want you to know that I'm not judging you, Helen. Not at all.

Helen: Fanks, but like I said, I get it. It's all people see when they look at me. It's like they can't see the person, they just see "it"

HELEN MAKES A SIGN

Counsellor: So, you feel like you're just a label?

Helen: Yeah. It feels like I'm not a person wiv feelings. I'm not a successful influencer who works so 'ard ev'ry day. I'm not a loving dog owna. I'm not an amazin' best friend and girlfriend. I'm just one fing that people can't see past. I'm just...

HELEN SIGHS

Helen: I'm just alternative

FIN

 

[SHEEP]

I laughed out loud when I saw her wrap up So rock n roll

Absolutely nothing wrong with any of the artists on there (Lady Gaga was my number 3 haha) but for someone who's meant to be so GOFF and METAL and ALTERNATIVE this is so....not goff, metal or alternative hrhehehe

It's exactly what I'd expect from her though also...

 

[S29S37]

Lurker but had to post to say, I hate how she shames Phil for everything he eats, yet it's okay for her to have McDonald's and drink 2 bottles of prosecco to wrap presents.
She is really projecting onto him. It's quite sad really.

 

[SHEEP]

I don't mean to sound rude but can we stop talking about microwaves? It's almost getting as boring as Helen's vlogmas.

 

[Lunamoon22]

Whenever she complains about people's opinions it always reminds me of this twitter exchange:

She's fine criticising others and she's allowed to express herself in her own way.... but when her own media is criticised NO ONE is allowed to have an opinion unless is positive?

Nah mate, it don't work like that. Also in the summer this year she was going off with her opinion that certain other influencers don't deserve all the success they have because they don't work as hard as she does.... Did that opinion really need to be shared? Or is it ok for Helen to forget her #bekind shit because she is entitled to an opinion on other people because it's her channel?

She's been complaining about comments since the day she arrived on youtube. If she doesn't want opinions just turn the comments off. There job done.

 

[Homsicckalien]

 

[Flampam]

Also early but the speed these threads are moving I couldn't resist having a go, Helen Anderson #10: Asos binge, covid whinge and a festive minge

 

[luckyblue]

Helen Anderson #10: Guideline moaner, possible stoner, promise I haven’t got corona!
Tried my best

 

[Alien1956]

I dunno what everyone’s bothered about, it’s a fart. Everyone farts.

Yeah, you're totally right, we all fart and we all must fart to keep a healthy gut and everyone knows that. But I think what offends people/puts them off is in a video like a gift guide during the holidays, you tend to click on those types of videos for the festive feeling and christmas vibes? Then to purposely film a huge wet fart, edit around it and include it in the final edit especially when this is Helen's job is quite unprofessional, and just plain gross lmao. If I walked into my place of work sat down and purposely just ripped one out infront of my collegaues would be like ..... wow, thanks for that.

 

[sorenips]

not all heroes wear capes!

 

[Ohnoitsnot]

can you please provide evidence that WPUK is transphobic? I’ve seen their website and I can’t find anything. Note: being in favour of retaining women’s hard fought for single sex spaces and not wanting to give children drugs isn’t transphobia.

I don't want to start arguing but it's really bothering me that this is just sitting here going unchallenged so I feel the need to respond.

Groups that seek to "protect" women's safe spaces are in fact attempting to roll back rights that already exist for trans people. As far as the law is concerned, trans women have every right to be in a women's only space, these include people who can and do self ID (there is no need for a gender recognition certificate to get past a bathroom door) - so there's nothing to protect from, and in general when groups like WPUK refer to protecting these spaces, what they're actually referring to is legislating for them to become single sex and exclusionary to trans women, which would literally mean rolling back their rights. So yes, protecting women's only spaces, is in fact not only transphobic, in that it targets trans people, women in particular, in an attempt to remove their rights, but it's also misogynistic, because it assumes that trans women are not women and also that cisgender women share that mindset.

 

[sorenips]

Matt's departure is so easily explained now. Just seeing the levels of control she exerts, how FIL moved out once but she dragged him back, how she's scheduled what he's doing over the whole Christmas period, how she bought him the garage, labels things with his name on, she love bombs him (classic narcissist) and controls everything he does. It's borderline abusive.

Matt knew there was no trial separation, no escape if he tried to leave slowly. I think he was bullied into proposing and bullied into marrying her. Even the wedding itself was her stopping him from going anywhere. "You can't leave me, we've booked a wedding". It worked for so long but everyone has their breaking point. Matt realised he was in way too deep and knew the only way out was a quick, clean break. Not giving her a chance to tell him no, you're not going anywhere. Well done to him, he appears to be living a happy, healthy life.

 

[Albert_Chris]

Just going to leave this here....

 

[artieziff92]

Been lurking for a couple of months, first time poster. Long post incoming (sorry!).

I first started watching Helen back in 2014, and I'd say 2015 - 2017 was the peak of me really enjoying her content. Recently, I'd noticed something off with her and her content in general and wanted to see if others had noticed anything. Fell down the Tattle rabbit hole and now here I am. Also, I have now unsubscribed as of about a month ago (I think).

This issue that has finally made me post is Helen's recent trip to London to get her flipping HAIR CUT and her subsequent 'apology'. Firstly, I'm from London, have lived here all my life and like other posters have commented it seems as though people forget London is a place where over 11 million people live, work, etc. I still cannot wrap my head around the fact that Helen travelled over 100 miles to another city in a higher tier than her own for something as non-essential as a hair cut. Blows my mind. Are there no hairdressers in Norwich? Her pitiful excuse saying that "they're open so I thought I could go" - ummm, yes, but they're open for people who live locally???? Jesus Christ.

I also can't believe the amount of her subscribers who are saying things like "it's okay, everyone makes mistakes". A mistake? Helen literally acknowledged that a) getting her hair cut wasn't essential b) that she knew London was going into tier 3 and c) that she was nervous about going. All of which clearly indicates she knew that she shouldn't have been doing it, yet she did it anyway. Where is the 'mistake' there?

Also her 'apology'. First of all, on her Vlogmas yesterday after apologising in one comment she LIKED another comment essentially saying that she didn't need to apologise. Sorry, but in that case her apology is meaningless. I've also seen the title of today's Vlogmas and I don't even want to hear it because she doesn't mean it whatsoever. If she genuinely meant it, she would not be including ANY footage from her trip to London.

Side note: her using the word 'peng' in yesterday's video pissed me off so much. 'Peng' is MLE slang originating from Jamaican patois, i.e. unless you're from ends don't use it lol.

 

[Poppy18]

I’m getting really sick of people using “oh I don’t understand the rules” as an excuse for taking the piss.

During the first wave my husband had a major cancer scare (lung cancer). We found out he actually has an autoimmune disease and has been on immunosuppressants since September. I’m 7 months pregnant and live in constant fear that I’m going to lose my husband.

Helen likes to attack this site and slag you lot off but this page has made me smile when I didn’t think I could. SHE is the one who has made me angry/upset as she fucks off in to the city for Christmas shopping despite already saying she’s finished her gift shopping. She didn’t buy fuck all just coffees and brunch.

I am all for helping local businesses, but she can’t use that as an excuse for eating out when her hauls have been lush and paper chase.

I’m genuinely embarrassed to admit I was ever a fan and supported her following her behaviour during the pandemic.

Sorry. Grumpy hormonal rant over

 

[TaylorSlattery]

I once ate a full jar of jalapeños as a snack (that’s not the worst bit) one Saturday and didn’t think anything about it.

The next day me and my boyfriend pop to the local shop to get some lunch. We’re in there about 2 minutes and I realise I REEEALY need the toilet. I’m like sweating in loads of pain and say to boyfriend “fuck this, I need to go home. NOW.” He’s like “what’s wrong?” I explain what I think’s happening and that we need to leave pronto! I live a five minute walk away from the shop just for reference. I am power walking as fast as my legs will carry me. I get about, and I kid you not, about 10 steps from my garden gate and you guessed it.

I SHIT MYSELF IN THE STREET.

OUT SIDEMYOWNHOUSE.

I also drank 13 cans of Red Bull in a row when I was 15 and had a laughing fit so hard a fully pissed myself in Leeds Train Station. Sadly I was 29 when when I shit myself!

I mean these things happen but I wouldn’t put it on the internet for the whole world to see....

 

[sorenips]

It's exactly what I'd expect from her though also...

Who is this fucking QUEEN?!

 

[microwavequeen]

Funny how she doesn't understand the rules now, but the other day she was lecturing people on how you can have a roast with other households outside

 

[Lunamoon22]

VIDEO SUMMARY
Vlogmas Day 11
Happy Day​

Starting off the vlog setting the camera outside on a dog walk and then walking towards it... we need to come up with a name for her doing this lame camera shite she keeps doing.

She's going on about how she loves the ball thrower stick she has for Lola "imagine having an arm this long" I wish she'd throw the ball at the camera and break the damn thing.

2 minutes later and we're home, she's in her utility room while her camera is set up in the other room. She's busy today, got a lotta "braaaaaaand" things to film. First of all she needs to shoot in the downstairs bathroom so she's setting up her other camera. We got camera on camera action her folks.

"Today is a work day...." she slips up "...w...w....well every day is a work day... but today is a.... heh.... BRANDED work day...." you don't sound at all convincing there, Helga.

"It's action packed"

Cut to later and she's saying she just got a load of content done and sent across "and now I'm sitting here like 'now what?'...."

She hasn't eaten anything yet day bar some chocolate, and as it's half 2 she's debating some lunch.

"I WAS gunna start doing sum wrappin', as today's vlogmas I wanted to focus on wrappin' paperrrrr" she sings "and wrappin' stuff.... however.... because it's not a conventional working day for Filwhip, he's actually going to be back home in half an hour.... so I don't want to go and get all the wrapping stuff and the presents and then have to stop in half an hour"

....or y'know you could take into a room and tell him not to come in, like the spare room or the office... OR.... OR!!!! Tell him to fuck off upstairs while you're 'working' y'know, cos it's your fucking house.

These are the same excuses as to why she couldn't do a proper gift guide, because Fil was coming home - can she not plan out her fucking content properly?? It has to suffer because she has to work around the latest boyfriend - it's pathetic.

She's going to wait until she has a 'full day' to do the wrapping, probably tomorrow.

Cut to the kitchen "the house is a hell hole again" she laughs, as she sticks her head into the fridge

"I swear to God, it's just constant mess"

Apparently it's because she's had a lot of post this week, now she's telling us how she has to flat pack and recycle all the cardboard boxes. And after lunch she's going to have another clean up. Which I'm sure we'll have to witness... again....Fun.

Close up of her sarnie with everything falling out. After lunch she sat scrolling for half an hour.

Cut to later and she's in her office, setting up her other camera to film a reel

And because it's in portrait mode she's explaining that she needs to turn the camera portrait to film it. Smarts.

She complains about her dress tripping it up, so we get a great shot of her leggings which she's rolled up underneath

This vlog is so fun.

She complains that she can't see a thing on her camera and wishes she had a monitor to view her cankles.

She's got a basket of boots to put on and film... and here we go... we're watching the behind the scenes of her walking backwards and forwards in front of a camera. If there's jumping involved I think I may wee myself from excitement.

Aww... no jumping. I'm sooooo sad.

Editing is all done now, and BAD KIRBY EGG FIL is missing, she doesn't know where he is. "Where are yoooou?" she ponders ".....erm..... I dunno where Fil is" she repeats. It's ok, he probably has no idea where he is either.

"He said he'd be home at half 3, it's now half 4"

"I'm not SUPER NEEDY... or like you know 'you're, you're a MINUTE late'..... but like.... mmnnnah.... also.... WHERE ARE YOOOOU???" she whines

Now she has to go clean the house..... "well not clean... tidy the house. It's DISGUSTING"

Is she checking for Fil down the back of the sofa?

Oh no, she's just putting all the lights on.

She's tidying the nut crumb area. Putting the Quality Streets back in their tin so she can use her star dish for other things.

"there's a bloody plaster on there!!! GROSS! FILLLLL AND HIS GAMMY FINGER!!!" she says as she gives all the arse shots she can in this portion of the video

She's bending over with arse to camera while singing Christmas songs. This is content.

"Right let's sort my life out, lets sort this house out!" cut to the back of Fil's greasy hair

"Fil's 'ome. We can't be bovvered to cook. So we're going in the freezer" ....to get things to cook?

Fil's rummaging around while Bosserz is telling him which foods are a no no because "ideally" they have to be defrosted.

I'm surprised Fil hasn't turned around yet and snapped to her "YOU WANT TO LOOK FOR YOURSELF?" she's so close to him she's practically pushing him in there

Oh now she's taken charge. Fil suggest frozen doner kebabs, but she "ain't 'aving frozen doner kebabs. Silly KIRBY EGG.

"Why not?" says EGG

"THEY LOOK DISGUSTING" moans Helga.

"I bough them ages ago to take to Josh's but..." Trails off Fil while Helga gives him an icy stare

We're spending a loooooooong time deciding what to eat here folks.

And they've finally decided what to eat "We don't 'ave any garlic bread though..." laughs Helen, hinting at Fil to get some....

"is that FIL go to the shop and get some?"

"noooooooo.... it's fine" says Helen, remembering that the camera is rolling

Cut to Helga flat packing boxes, singing a non Christmas song *shock*

And now cut to the kitchen "although we said we can't be bothered to cook.... we're still cooking" What's the betting she wanted a takeaway but KIRBY EGG said no?

Oh, and it looks like she did make Fil go out to get garlic bread as she has some in hand.

"there's going to be quite a lot of food here isn't there?" Helen... there's ALWAYS a lot of food there darling

Fil mumbles something (even the auto subs can't pick up what he says) and Helga replies "Yeah, whilst YOU have a MCDONALDS!!!"

"ALL RIGHT JELLY BELLY!" Fil yells back, (Kirby EGG and Jelly Belly - what a power couple)

Helen tries to laugh it off "no, that's fine... I can just have it for my lunch tomorrow...... I AM jelly belly... I'm very jelly belly. I want a McDonalds...."

Fil says they can get one Saturday when they go into the city.

Is anyone still reading this? It's super fun isn't it. Type the word Jelly Belly if you're still here.

Helga is getting super excited about going into the city on Saturday "OOOOH!!! YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS IN THE CITY???" Covid, Helen. Covid is in the city.

"BREAD SAUCE!!!!!!" It's all about food with her. "WE CAN GET A LOVELY PASTRY!!!"

She's cracked open some booze, and says that she hopes to beat the crowds on Saturday morning to go Christmas shopping. This is a girl who works from home and can go into town ANY time and day of the week, but sure... pick the absolute busiest day to go in Helga.

She thinks Fil should cook for her more often because he knows what he's doing more than she does

"Shall we have cheese with it?" asks Jelly Belly

"Yeah, a FUCK LOAD of it!!!!" says Kirby Egg

She explains her plan for tomorrow to Fil, she's going to film a reaaally quick make up look in the morning and then she's going to wrap the Christmas presents all while probably eating mince pies that she's going to buy.

"I might also drink prosecco all day long while being all festive. You'll come home from revision and I'll be on the floor" she takes a swig of her beer

Fil moans about the low fat cheese (I think that's what he's mumbling about, as usual the CC can't pick up a word from him)

"Im SORRY! It's the, it's the dieter brainwashed into, in me to buy all the lighter things. I'm just trying to get out of that mindset alright!" She shows the camera the lighter cheese that Fil is unhappy with. "That's what diet culture does to you. Brainwashes you. I'm not 'appy, I'm not pleased about it"

More food talk, she's asking Fil to buy the Christmas cheeses on Saturday.

Dinner is served

"Do you know wot?" says Helga,
"Double cheese?" Fil replies,
"Double cheese"
"You say that sooo much 'you know wot'" mimics Fil
"My mum would always reply with 'cold potatoes aren't hot'"
"That's what I say to you!"
"Yeah but she... I can't help it... I'm sorry that I say that" Says Miss Unapologetic-unless-you're-a-man
"Don't apologize for saying it"
"Okay.... I just can't 'elp it"

They talk to each other soooooo oddly.

Cut to later and she's stroking the dogs and watching TV

That's all.

Kirby Egg and Jelly Belly's adventures are fun.

 

[Lunamoon22]

Rollo from Vikings......?

This guy???

HELLLLLL No.

.....