Shows how low effort she is that she didn't bother to re-film the sections with the really bad mic problems.
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Was just catching the bf up on Helens video today - I couldn't for the life of me remember what happened today except she spoke about her pubes for 6 mins straight
My brain is actively choosing to immediately forget what I've just watched she's that boring at the moment.
My brain is actively choosing to immediately forget what I've just watched she's that boring at the moment.
Perfect as per.VIDEO SUMMARY
Vlogmas Day 14
Help me pick what to wear on Christmas Day
[DESCRIPTION: Sorry about the Audio in parts. Help me pick what to wear on Christmas day. A few lovely options from ASOS!]
The title instantly made me say "no" out loud
Starting off in her car and her mic is peaking she's so loud.
She's starting this week of Vlogmas outside the Skin Clinic to get her pubes lasered (remember when she tried to justify getting them done the day before lock down where she claimed she was supporting a small local business? Lunamoon remembers)
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She's going to update us on how it's been going afterwards. She's taken us inside and is asked by the consultant how its all been going after the last treatment "FANTASTIC!!!!" Yells Helen, "SMOOOOOTH! SMOOOOOOOTH!"
"10 DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS!" she randomly tells the lady, and calls her a "MAD WOMAN" because she hasn't done her shopping yet (probably been too busy burning off pubic hair)
Helen wishes she could get her legs done but she cant. "TATTOOOOOOS"
She tells the woman the story about how she's done all her Christmas shopping in October but went into town on Saturday to do more.... I dunno why we have to hear this story again... she's literally repeated her Saturday shopping plans in 3 vlogs now...
"WE WENT AT 'ALF 'ATE, IN THERE, IT WOZ GRATE"
Now we have to witness her having her pubes burned. Fun.
The screen on her camera starts making the picture all wavy - hope no one suffers from motion sickness
Cue a lot of OOOOH's, OH GOD's and heavy panting from Helga, she checks on the pube progress while having a big itch of her tit
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More screaming and yelling.
Now she's laying on her front to get her bum done "I just wanna clench but yer can't"
All done now. "I tell everyone it's the best thing ever" says Helga to the lady.
Back home now. She says the whole thing was about 10 minutes in total, she cant remember how many sessions she got for paying for the course, but she remembers getting the course for half price
"Which is great" she scrunches up her face in delight, we all know how Helga HATES paying out for anything,
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"You pay for the procedure, and then you go every eight weeks to get it done.... Obviously this year's been a bit difficult because of lock down" My God, is she going to tell us that her PUBES has suffered because of the pandemic???
"the three mumphs we bin in lock down before... I wasn't able to go... so had to do a bit of catching up when I was able to go back. So yeah." she whines.
"I love it. It's an unpleasant feeling"
"I fink it 'urts. There's places where it hurts more in" ....you mean there are more sensitive parts Helga...
"For example the top section, yer pubes" she makes a gesture
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"the main bulk of it at the top 'ere" She gestures to her crotch, "dat really 'urts, and that's where I make a fuss of"
The camera starts falling to the side... even it's bored of hearing about her crusty pubes
Tells us how they blow cold air on her fanny to soothe it, and sometimes they'll press down on it to help.
"But it's like 'DO DO DO DO DO DO DO'" Says Helga, imitating a lazer
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"Then yer actual bit... like yer... yer....yer Labby-yer... is it yer labby-yer.....? THE LIPS" She creepily says,
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"That dun't really 'urt. Also yer bum crack doesn't really 'urt either"
Tells us how she has to shave her pubes before she goes in, and if she has any they're really fine and really blonde hair. Then says that sometimes it looks like a lot of hair is growing but then it just falls out.
"It's great because I dun't get any rashes anymore, I don't 'ave to fink about it anymore"
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"IT'S REALLY SMOOOOOTH DAAAAOOWN DERE"
And it's helped her with her confidence apparently as when she would try and get rid of the hair herself, she would have alllll sorts of problems like rashes, irritations and just general uncomfort.
"SEW, LAZA, I SWARE BY IT"
She might get her mustache done next or her pits... she don't know. Now she's staring out the window thinking of being smooth.
(This is fun Christmas content.)
"I mean, OBVIOUSLY body 'air is daown to, y'know de individual it's not a bad thing. I EMBRACE my hair when I got it, I'm like 'oop ma legs r 'airy ew,' or 'ma tash is comin' frew, kewl'" she fibs, "It's daown ta yooou if yer wanna keep it. I just do it for convenience" she scoffs
Finally we cut to later. She's been sorting out a bunch of sponsored content.
Her mic is sooooo awful that we can hear every single breath she takes, and now she's yelling into it. Her chin is rubbing against the mic too. This is a giant mess.
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She's filming something for ASOS and reminds us that Christmas Eve is Fil's birthday and how she's got plans for him
"I'VE got a SECRET plan"
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"Can't wait" ah yes, because the birthday treat for Fil is also a big old treat for Helga. Perhaps another trip on a birthday boat will be forced upon the birthday boy.
She shows us that she's got her and Fil matching PJs from M&S for Christmas Eve
"Matching, coz I'm sickenin'" she says
Reminds us that last year she wore a onesie on Christmas Day, but she does like to dress up on Christmas day. She's breathing heavily into the microphone.
She says she likes to be a bit extra, but is torn between being comfy or looking glamorous this Christmas.
She wants to show us what she got from her ASOS haul for her ASOS sponsored content.
Diane arrives and Helga tells us how she always stinks of cheese. And has to overly show everyone just how much she loooooooooves Diane, after being criticized for treating her like shite.
Tells us that because she works with ASOS they send her a mood board every month for things that she can pick out. This month is was 80's style, BIG SHOULDERS kind of thing so she's picked out this:
View attachment 348110
Cut to her trying it on, her tits are falling out when she bends over, but what's new there.
She paired it with white boots because she says she's not very good at wearing smart shoes or strappy shoes or heels or whatever.
She can see herself in this dress, drinking (but honestly every item of clothing she wears she drinks in... Soooo...)
Now she's distracted "Ain't it funny when you see a plane go by in the sky, like, how quick they go?"
Next is a top... with pearly detailing, she has to keep repeating "pearrrrrly detailing"
It's white so it reminds her of snow.
She wonders about dribbling gravy down it.
Oh god, she paired that nice top with her tin foil jeans.
She got the trouser in a "errrm... I'm a 14... w leg 32"
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Ooof, they look awful. She says they're really comfy and really stretchy, but from the looks of it she's stretched them right out as they look like they cut in so harshly.
The final dress is "very very red"
Cut to Helen trying to squeeze herself smaller
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"It's really comfortable, yer could eat LOADS in it" She's already tested it out by wearing it when eating her giant roast at the weekend.
One last thing that wasn't featured in her ASOS ad was a sparkly top
Cut to later, Gusto has arrived and it's "very Asian themed" she's having a Fish Katsu tonight.
Dinner is served "COME ON FIL IT'S GETTING COLD"
"MMMMM" she's shoving it all down, and now we have a "MMMM" tennis match with Jelly Belly and Kirby Egg
"MMMM"
"MMMM"
"MMMM!"
"MMMM!"
"That's well good!"
"MMM!"
That's all.
So just to recap, most of the video was her poorly explaining how she zapped off hair from her fanny and the final part was just clips of her doing an ASOS ad. I don't get why she made out she was filming a documentary style series about her pube journey back when she employed Grace to film her flaps for her, if in the end she was just going to slap an explanation about it in a vlog....
What I don't understand is why she needs her arse crack lasering and why she thinks anyone wants to know?
Unless she got her pubes lasered into the shape of a Christmas tree, or put tinsel down there, then that's not bleeping encapsulating Christmas
Re: sainbos saga.
Just thinking it would be awesome if she did a raffle for the gifted items. £2 a ticket (for example). If she sold 100 then someone would be very happy when they won and she could spend every penny of the raffle money at Sainsbury’s and donate the food to a food bank. Just think how many tins of food etc she could buy for other people with £200.
Just thinking it would be awesome if she did a raffle for the gifted items. £2 a ticket (for example). If she sold 100 then someone would be very happy when they won and she could spend every penny of the raffle money at Sainsbury’s and donate the food to a food bank. Just think how many tins of food etc she could buy for other people with £200.
Jokes on her for buying a new microwave. I know they're convenient and all, but the nuking the nutrients in your food gives your body the calories but no nutrients hence more weight gain. You might as well not eat 
you should offer your services on how to look like a pretty decent human being to influencers that have evidently lost touch!
Has it been deleted already? I can't see that comment
Aw noooo I can't see it now either
She didn’t even show a full length shot of the outfits??? The green dress sort of was full length, albeit at a weird across-the-room angle, but tbh I was distracted by her rogue A-cup.
also distracted by the black and white photos from what looks like her Paris hen do on the wall. She must have thousands of photos to pick from. Why would you want a daily reminder of that?!?
also distracted by the black and white photos from what looks like her Paris hen do on the wall. She must have thousands of photos to pick from. Why would you want a daily reminder of that?!?
She's that lazy now that she will just set up two camera per job, one to film the #ad content and one poorly propped up to film 'behind the scenes' for her vlog.
There were only three outfits, well two and a half - two dresses and a top. It was too much work to film a mini lookbook for the vlog to let people see what her outfits fully looked like on.
I'm still laughing at her comment about how she thinks all her vlogs encapsulate Christmas -
I mean, she had a vlog about what she ate in a day, there wasn't anything Christmassy about that.... It would have been interesting to see her do one of those (lame) YouTube challenges where she only at Christmas themed or red and green foods for a day. At least that would be encapsulating Christmas better than eating a slice of toast, a "salad" and a Gusto dinner.
She also had that vlog where she cleaned her house because she's a slob.... Oh and that amazing vlog all about her opening an Excel document because it had a list of Christmas things written on it....
I love the thought of people clicking on that video going "yesss gonna see loads of Christmas outfit ideas and inspiration!" after seeing the thumbnail and title, and then having to sit there and hear her go on and on and on and on and on about her pubes for a full 6 minutes. Then getting to see her awful, lazy, awkward angled clips of her 'behind the scenes' try on for her more #ad content for two and a half outfits
- like girl... C'mon if there was any time to make a whole video of different outfit ideas (old and new!) THAT would have been it! But no, had to get her fanny flaps flamed and yap on and on about it and how smooth her hole is 
that’s suuuuch an old and outdated myth of how microwaves workJokes on her for buying a new microwave. I know they're convenient and all, but the nuking the nutrients in your food gives your body the calories but no nutrients hence more weight gain. You might as well not eat
they’re perfectly safe and healthy to use, no need to pull out the tinfoil hats.
I love a good microwave, obviouslythat’s suuuuch an old and outdated myth of how microwaves work
That's not true at all. Microwaves work by cooking the water molecules in food as opposed to fire for example which heats it from the outside in. That's why some foods go soggy when you cook them in the microwave. It's not possible to 'nuke' nutrients out of food unless you severely burn it. Stop spreading misinformation.Jokes on her for buying a new microwave. I know they're convenient and all, but the nuking the nutrients in your food gives your body the calories but no nutrients hence more weight gain. You might as well not eat
@navybluewolf and @just_stir_it_una
Not misinformation there are numerous studies published (old and recent) confirming that nutrient values in foods cooked via microwaves are significantly diminished. Sorry to derail the thread though.
Not misinformation there are numerous studies published (old and recent) confirming that nutrient values in foods cooked via microwaves are significantly diminished. Sorry to derail the thread though.
Cheers Helen, for helping me pick a fab dress for Xmas eve!! Helen said it's soooo comfortable, so surely there there will be no unwanted spillage throughout the evening! I'll style it like she suggested, and pair it with white cowboy boots!
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Lmao honestly who would bleeping show up like that on Christmas
This just isn't true. ALL forms of cooking destroy some vitamins but microwaves do not exaggerate this process anymore than any other heat source. Microwaves penetrate food, heating it from the inside out. The cooking process is akin to steaming. Please link me these studies from a reputable source.
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