Fraus. An update is warranted I feel - as much for myself as for you all. The Before Sunrise cosplay happening in the past few days and...........turns out real life is nothing like the movies. Quelle surprise, eh? We had a lovely time together, catching up, chatting about everything, hanging out in a nice city, but there wasn't a spark anymore. Too much time had passed. Too much other stuff got in the way. There was a moment where we were lying on a rug in the park (which was absolutely FULL because it was national Switzerland day or something so absolutely no chance for park sex) when I almost felt what I did 12 years ago when we shared a tent in the Siberian forest, but then some asshole set off a firework and the moment was lost.
There's a lot to think about - about changing desires, and growing older (and perhaps wiser?), of not being so struck by idealism, of being more aware of your body and what it wants. I think we envied each other a little bit, and the paths we'd chosen - me with my CHAOTIC MAVERICK freedom, him with his stable living situation and high salary. I've been brooding about it all for the past 24 hours. In a way it feels freeing - that I got my closure, essentially. But I'm also pretty mournful for the person I was back then and how hopeful and unafraid she was. I've also drunk quite a lot of cheap Croatian wine so I'm a little bit more maudlin than I'd like. But, mein frauen, we go onwards!