Food & Drink #3

[Toffee finger]

Evenin’ all!

I made a note of all the comments I wanted to reply to and then somehow deleted it
Anyway love to all who have had issues with JM and other life stuff.

Congratulations to anyone who has had good stuff happen, like the poster that is moving in with their other half (I’ve forgotten the user name sorry)

My grandad has been taken to hospital so I’ve been here skim reading to try and distract myself but not had much patience to type up a reply. A part from now and then it all disappeared!!

Anyway, just wanted to say hi

 

[LavaFlake]

I go onto the JM thread because it's good to see someome called out on their BS but also because its hilarious. I will never forget someome calling her lasagne a dehydrated tortoise til the day I die.

I don't want to hear repeated theories about whether Louisa owns the bungalow or not (she clearly doesn't lol) and stuff of that ilk when its going around in circles! Give me critical analysis, funnies, heartfelt stories... ya know?!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The difference between JM and literally everyone else on the planet is how she's choosing to deal with these problems - if she had come out and said look, have fucked up, coming back with a bang and an amazing new Patreon none of us could say shit cos fair does she's monetising all that social capital she earned chatting to people from the Guardian / hanging out down at the Groucho. None of us would have the cheek / lack of humanity tbh to do that and that's why I'm having my Shrek's angry mob moment with her lool.

Also I do think society as a whole is geared against women flourishing, but ESPECIALLY with money. There's so much bullshit from the fucking wage GULF (a gap is too small a descriptor for it tbh) we endure, the maternity discrimination, age discrim, the fact someone decided you need 35 years NI contributions for full state pension but we have primary caring responsibilities, the value of women's unpaid labour, the marriage premium WE confer onto men, women tend to be the resident parent in separated families which is ££ and career limiting, our pensions which are a % of a lifetime of lower salaries/part time work/gaps in employment, blah blah blah. Then you layer on top ~consumerism and how women are under constant scrutiny for their looks, their homes, their kids' appearance, everything, this is now exacerbated through social media, is it any surprise women end up getting into debt to fund what they're literally told they should be doing else they're a piece of shit? Or not one of the cool girls~ on insta, why aren't you cool and carefree like this mum that gets £300 jumpsuits for free???

Sorry for the essay but I've been feeling this a LOT recently because of my antenatal classes / wanky positive birthing classes I've felt like the only way to safeguard yourself from other people's judgment and the slippery slope into using stuff to fix your internal shit is to take a step back from people altogether, but I worry I'll turn into some weirdo? My first (NHS, ffs!!) antenatal class I had some idiot going on about her £300 hypnobirthing class as if it actually meant anything beyond status signalling/some sort of weird cat pissing up a wall assertion of dominance in the group? I just thought great what an unenjoyable way to set the tone of this class for everyone else u actual loser? The subsequent class was horrid it was all middle class older mums one upping each other preaching evangelically about their desires for natural births (as if the rest of us are ravaging smackheads dying for a bit of recreational anaesthetic? why are medical interventions moralised?), at home in a pool, it went round robin style so when they got to me I was like yep don't really have a choice have to go to the labour ward, just hoping both of us are happy and alive by the end of it )) I'm so grateful for covid that no one has been able to arrange the meet ups they chat about on the whatsapp groups cos fuuuuck thaaaat!

 

[SoulRebel]

Afternoon friends. I’m burnt out from JM tbh, it’s a chore to check her twitter and I sigh when I see she’s tweeted. But I have nowt else to do so i’ll plod along until I truly cba.

Speaking of twitter, some rather obvious crisp packets rustling away in JM’s twitter feed. Well intentioned but naughty. Staying with food i’m really annoyed because I bought a posh loaf as they didn’t have any own brand in and it’s gone mouldy, unopened, with 3 days before its bb date. Annoying.

I feel weird about the money stuff as I am on shit loads of benefits because I am too to have a job. And because part of my is that I don’t go anywhere or do anything then i’m actually fine for money. Within reason, obvs. Where I live the rent is extortionate so i’ve paid £350 more than a mortgage payment for over ten years so most of it goes on that. So Jack’s horror at benefits and poverty isn’t actually accurate, for me, anyway. This horrible government that I oppose in every single way have looked after me pretty well, aside from some gtapplings with the lovely ATOS, but they’re gone now.

Aaaanyway. I’m hungry now and all I really fancy is toast. I tried to defrost some old bread from the (solitary) freezer but it’s gone hard at the edge and spongy in the middle.

This little screamy face was in my bread the other morning!

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Omg thank you for posting this (+ @HarderFaster), I really needed to hear it after a sad shitty morning hearing about my boss calling me a problematic employee........because I got signed off for mental health problems whilst heavily pregnant because of him! I know it's absolutely ridiculous and super cunty, I'm literally in therapy for self esteem for the first time in my life at the mo because of this, but it still hurts after working so hard & building so much. And reading about small businesses I was like omg yep I should be thinking about my post mat business proposition/pitch materials/ROI framework (I want to do a web & marketing data/analytics consultancy for SMBs in my ends not do contract jobs for wankers in central) and this is a pleasant reminder that I'm literally a rotund mega ball of flesh rn all I can do is eat and sleep and try to push a baby out whenever she decides to do her thing~

I got a Starbucks frapp tho and my husband took me to the dump (Paris WHO? x) to cheer me up so feeling better. Lunch was tuna sweetcorn, I use greek yoghurt cos the idea of mayo majorly grosses me out and JM definitely didn't help turn those tides around with her #sponcon. No idea what to do for dinner!

I hope your boss gets dick rot. What a fucking arsehole.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Can you bring the dog into yours?

Yep. Husband has broken through the back gate and now in the garden with him while I frantically tidy up and remove all shoes and Lego. He’s a springer, only about 6 months old. hope the neighbours don’t hate me.

What have I let myself in for? Peace, pray peace for me!

 

[Alansbigplate]

She’s not a well woman that Jack

I’ve still not cooked properly for myself I feel poo. Also my daughter being a hormonal pre teen has made my period go awol and I’ve had PMT for a month now. I’d think I was up the duff if I’d had a sniff of cock

(sorry tmi fraus!)

 

[Flumps]

@Flumps do you have a photo of the Death Star cake? I have the Death Star lego set but cake sounds far better tbh.

I have the Death Star lego set too! I got it last Christmas, but life has got in the way and it's still in its box! I really need to find time to make it...

Photo is a bit rough and ready... but here you go....

ETA: Round cakes are hard!!

 

[colouredlines]

My favourite is when someone shows up and goes "SMOKING GUN according to Companies House she was born in 1978 SOMEONE CALL THE DAILY MAIL"

 

[Flumps]

Maybe mix it up with a simple wording switch a la swapping your parsley for mint:

#4 Drink and Food

Haha. I don't want to mess with tradition and think Food and Drink #4 is obvs a classic choice, but your mention of herb swapping makes me want to suggest 'Food and Drink #4, any herb will do.'

 

[Silver Linings]

Afternoon friends. I’m burnt out from JM tbh, it’s a chore to check her twitter and I sigh when I see she’s tweeted. But I have nowt else to do so i’ll plod along until I truly cba.

Speaking of twitter, some rather obvious crisp packets rustling away in JM’s twitter feed. Well intentioned but naughty. Staying with food i’m really annoyed because I bought a posh loaf as they didn’t have any own brand in and it’s gone mouldy, unopened, with 3 days before its bb date. Annoying.

I feel weird about the money stuff as I am on shit loads of benefits because I am too to have a job. And because part of my is that I don’t go anywhere or do anything then i’m actually fine for money. Within reason, obvs. Where I live the rent is extortionate so i’ve paid £350 more than a mortgage payment for over ten years so most of it goes on that. So Jack’s horror at benefits and poverty isn’t actually accurate, for me, anyway. This horrible government that I oppose in every single way have looked after me pretty well, aside from some gtapplings with the lovely ATOS, but they’re gone now.

Aaaanyway. I’m hungry now and all I really fancy is toast. I tried to defrost some old bread from the (solitary) freezer but it’s gone hard at the edge and spongy in the middle.

 

[Veronicaaa]

There's a new crisp flavour which I saw last night and as soon as I saw the flavour's name I knew immediately what specific crisp they are. Idk why some crisps make it so easy to identify them from platform to platform

 

[Britney Spiers Morgan]

Sorry for full on having a footstamp on the mother thread, I literally couldn’t look at it any more given what we know? I think now the whole thing has been blown wide open there’s another wave of the same people or similar trying to faux naive their way in to get a nasty ol foothold again.

Good morning fraus, looking forward to brekkos rolling in! Especially the hungover patisserie fair from our french connection

I don’t know if it’s just me but I can’t help feeling a little suspicious in relation to the JM threads now. After previous gammony reincarnations, I cant help but wonder if there’s now been a full on reinvention. But I’m probably wildly off track.

This thread seems to be a veritable wholesome oasis in comparison.

ETA - Jack Whitehall’s slender appendage aside.

 

[HarderFaster]

I did the test, I’m a... what am I again... I don’t really get the acronyms, clearly I’m a bit of a thick protagonist! I read through the explanation of the personality, and lots of it was really very Matt much accurate. Work and friendships in particular were spot on.
View attachment 194210

Congratulations, PoorPatrol, you personality test appears to have deemed that you are... Lord Farquaad.

Was too slow to reply on last thread but my fella actually is a giant, sentient gammon joint, @ReginaPhalangee

 

[Silver Linings]

Just to clarify, 99.9% of the crisps chat was about actual crisps! The other was talking about a mutual acquaintance and resident of one of JM’s ‘homes’ (Scotland). The crisp in question had abruptly departed and rustled her packet on twitter about us.

My fave cereal is weetabix.

 

[LavaFlake]

Time to get those new thread title suggestions in! who’s going to top this one?

Maybe mix it up with a simple wording switch a la swapping your parsley for mint:

#4 Drink and Food

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Isn't it just fucking horrible how we are all trained to hate our bodies?
I feel so sad for my daughters that soon they will look at themselves and not like what they see. They are all so beautiful, so perfect and yet I know that they'll see only the things they dislike.

 

[Flumps]

@Nottonightbabe and @help i need some help! (if you’re on this thread?) sorry to hear it’s a struggle at the minute I’m just coming through a period of it and it’s shit. The world is mad at the minute isn’t it? Everything feels unsettled I felt better during lockdown when we knew where we stood xx

Babe, same. I feel like lockdown and the straightforward rules of it helped my anxiety so much in a way I didn't even recognise at the time. Now I'm back to making my own decisions and thinking about things, plus the extra mind-admin (so well described by @heretoreaditall2019 before) is creeping back up again and it's making me feel shakey in a way I haven't felt for months. @Nottonightbabe and @help i need some help! - hope you're doing ok. x

And I get cross with myself too, because none of it is really a big deal. All I need to do today is remember stuff I need to take with me as I'm off to my partner's for a few days, but it's his birthday, so there's presents, and food and just *extra* to remember. Even though I know he would be a bit annoyed at me for worrying about it, because he knows what I am like and would much rather I forgot things and was calm, than remembered everything and arrived in a state!

Also venturing out into the world means remembering extra bits and rules (masks etc). My mum and I were saying yesterday it's like the days of going out with a baby/toddler, where you have to plan a trip out like a military operation instead of grabbing your keys and going. Feel a bit daft complaining about it, because it's not exactly the worst thing in the world, but I don't know, it's just extra and I liked the calmness of before.

Anyway, I think we should all be extra kind to ourselves and realise that the weird times are properly not helping and to take it easy, generally and on beating ourselves up. I'm now off to write lists obsessively and not take my own advice.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

Like those odd hard skips that you get in a packet, or a random green ones in plain crisps. I agree, btw. I don’t want to seem cliquey but Jack coming back has quietened some people down due to the sheer weight of new Jack material.

I’m still so hot. It’s better than yesterday but I can feel the humidity building. A lolly day for sure.

I don’t notice anything unless it’s glaringly obvious like those ham crisps or if there are any particularly sharp, crunchy ones. Perhaps I should take more notice of usernames.

I have the fear now, when you know you’re innocent but feel like you’re being watched. I’m a good crisp!

 

[Alansbigplate]

Can't believe your mad little brain came up with such an ingenious thread title @Alansbigplate ! Think we've got a wordsmith maven on our hands here.

I just saw an unexpected butterfly and then like a greedy little goblin Tom cruise just whispered in my ear ‘food & drink hashtag threeeeeeee’
Lol why is he just doing a fish mouth??? ETA Oh I didn’t watch long enough