Food & Drink #3

[EddieBeds]

Pregnancy and childbirth seems to bring about a oneupmanship in some women. Even once you’ve had your baby and you go to a baby group, you can’t avoid hearing everyone’s birth stories and it either becomes competitive tales of woe or a competition for who did it without any pain relief and was up and out jogging the following morning. I’ve had two caesareans and will be having one again. When people tell me they had a “normal birth” I can’t help but roll my eyes because all birth choices are normal and I went with what was safest and recommended to me for my health and for my babies. Motherhood is endless judgement. Just visit the BabyCentre forums during the weaning stage

Chef’s kiss to you all for some frankly refreshing conversation around babies/birth. First time round we did the NHS antenatal class - was ok and not too wanky but luckily our hospital had a very mixed demographic of expectant mums so suspect they felt there wasn’t a market for £300+ hypnobirthing classes.

The mandatory breastfeeding class was horrendous though - it was one massive lecture about how breast is best and that if it hurts you’re simply doing it wrong. Then we were handed a doll and told to place it to our breast and bingo that’s how you breast feed . No practical advice whatsoever and the irony they had some breast feeding kite mark! The day after having my son I was feeding him (by pure luck he was a good feeder from the get go) and this breastfeeding ‘expert’ came round and lectured me about having nipple cream - the fact I was feeding my son seemed to go over her head. My partner walked in as I was telling her (boosted by raging hormones) to eff off. Fortunately the midwives had a very different attitude and offered practical advice and were more concerned about you knowing how to feed your child regardless of if bottle or breastfed.

Have to agree about the oneupmanship - I find the uninvited comments bewildering. Went to a routine appointment for the midwife and in a shared waiting room with another clinic and this woman starts telling me about her horrific c-section (proper graphic detail) and how I should have a natural birth as thats ‘best’ . Told her I’d already had a c-section and it was really positive so not bothered how this baby is born so long as it’s safely. She would not stop and another woman even chimed in to tell her any type of birth can be as positive as it can be horrendous and that sharing horrific experiences with strangers wasn’t helpful but she still harped on. Fortunately I wasn’t horrified by her experience just pissed off she wouldn’t shut up. I just ended up mouthing duck off behind my mask until I was called through.

I’m kind of grateful for lockdown this time round as we now live in a new area/part of the country where private midwives and hyponobirthing are all the rage (each to their own I guess) but due to lockdown I’m not around the constant chat about it and the implication that it’s the answer to the perfect antenatal care/birth. It’s quite refreshing to, within reason be left alone!

 

[Pocahontas]

@EddieBeds love the image of you mouthing ‘duck off’ behind your mask

 

[EddieBeds]

@EddieBeds love the image of you mouthing ‘duck of’ behind your mask

If you say it with a smile no one is none the wiser

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I won't get right into the judgemental birth discussions as it genuinely gives me the rage! Agree with you all though.

Only thing I ever recommend to people trying if it's an option, is a pool. I used one with my next 2 babies and really liked the safe, covered up feeling it gave. I felt less vulnerable I guess and could relax easier? Other people might not enjoy them though, we're all different.

I remember my older sister smugly boasting to me when I was due my first, that she was out shopping in Tesco the next day after having hers. I was like, well great for you Billy big bollocks, I'll be in my pyjamas cuddling my baby the next day, duck Tesco!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Sorry to do a JM but having the shittest time, baby is bleeping huge after gaining 2lbs in just over a week and I don’t think they’ll let me have a natural delivery anymore. Waiting for a consultants appt now, crying in the waiting room which has gotten my mask wet so I look like liquid covid.

Baby looks just like my husband though which is sweet, I wonder which variation of huge nose shell inherit as its currently dinky

 

[colouredlines]

Morning frauen! I spent the weekend visiting an old Brazilian friend who I haven't seen for years, but who has randomly ended up living in (a particularly beautiful part of) the same small country as me. Lots of hiking and good food. By coincidence, another friend of mine was playing in a concert down there on Saturday night. I haven't seen live music since February, and even with everyone sitting down, distanced, and in masks it was really wonderful. Open air concert beside the river...such a nice moment. The band played a Brazilian song that is apparently a total anthem in Brazil, but sang it in our country's language, and my friend was so moved he was almost in tears.

I was furiously grunqueando (Spanish for grunkaing) on the train home last night. God, Jack is an insufferable prick. Her financial stuff pisses me off so much, I don't have words for it. Well, actually. My friend who I was visiting is a poor immigrant working an unpleasant manual job for a tit wage who insisted that I take the bed and he the couch, drove me around everywhere, and engaged in Mrs Doyle-style antics every time I tried to pay (I had to wait for him to go to the toilet and settle up super quick, and even then he got cross with me). duck Jack Monroe and her begging bowl.

 

[LavaFlake]

Sorry to do a JM but having the shittest time, baby is bleeping huge after gaining 2lbs in just over a week and I don’t think they’ll let me have a natural delivery anymore. Waiting for a consultants appt now, crying in the waiting room which has gotten my mask wet so I look like liquid covid.

Baby looks just like my husband though which is sweet, I wonder which variation of huge nose shell inherit as its currently dinky

Sending you lots of love. That sounds incredibly frustrating and upsetting. Your nose comment made me smile though - recently had the same convo with my partner.

 

[EddieBeds]

Sorry to do a JM but having the shittest time, baby is bleeping huge after gaining 2lbs in just over a week and I don’t think they’ll let me have a natural delivery anymore. Waiting for a consultants appt now, crying in the waiting room which has gotten my mask wet so I look like liquid covid.

Baby looks just like my husband though which is sweet, I wonder which variation of huge nose shell inherit as its currently dinky

Sending hugs and love. Lovely that you’re able to see similarities in baby with your husband. Just sorry for the added stress and frustration right now.

I don’t have much ‘advice’ to give other than to ask all the questions you can think of with the consultant to look at the pros and cons of what you would like to do birth wise so you can make an informed decision and not just be pushed down what they want blindly (ETA: not that you would be - sorry realised that sounded rude potentially).

 

[Flumps]

Sorry to do a JM but having the shittest time, baby is bleeping huge after gaining 2lbs in just over a week and I don’t think they’ll let me have a natural delivery anymore. Waiting for a consultants appt now, crying in the waiting room which has gotten my mask wet so I look like liquid covid.

Baby looks just like my husband though which is sweet, I wonder which variation of huge nose shell inherit as its currently dinky

Oh darling, it's a time of such heightened emotion isn't it? I know you are feelings your feelings right now, for lack of a less trite way of putting it, but I will say that my daughter had to come out of the sunroof (combination of footling breech and a problem with the placenta). I was very sad about it at the time, I felt for some reason that it was important to me to have a natural birth. But, honestly, my planned Cesarean was very calm, everyone was very lovely and it wasn't at all the stressful experience I was worried about.

Yes, there is recovery time from surgery, but I had my daughter on the Wednesday and was out of hospital and home on the Friday. A bit awkward for a few weeks, but I took everything slowly, and there's really plenty of cuddling/feeding/sitting to do anyway, however you have the baby, so it didn't make a huge amount of difference to me.

I know everyone says this, or they should, but it is absolutely true, that no matter what way they come out, the moment they pop them on your chest and you look at them, it all kind of becomes irrelevant.

Sorry, I don't want to dismiss how you're feeling while you're in the middle of it, but I do want to tell you that it really will be ok. xxx

 

[NP]

I won't get right into the judgemental birth discussions as it genuinely gives me the rage! Agree with you all though.

Only thing I ever recommend to people trying if it's an option, is a pool. I used one with my next 2 babies and really liked the safe, covered up feeling it gave. I felt less vulnerable I guess and could relax easier? Other people might not enjoy them though, we're all different.

I remember my older sister smugly boasting to me when I was due my first, that she was out shopping in Tesco the next day after having hers. I was like, well great for you Billy big bollocks, I'll be in my pyjamas cuddling my baby the next day, duck Tesco!

I really wanted a water birth with my first but ended up having an emergency c-section. Then I was high risk in my next pregnancy so a water birth wasn’t an option. It would definitely be my preferred method if I could.

I know someone like your sister. They had a home birth and was up doing the school run within a day or so. Good for them... I thought my insides were going to fall out my arse every time I went to the loo so there’s that

 

[Pocahontas]

Sorry to do a JM but having the shittest time, baby is bleeping huge after gaining 2lbs in just over a week and I don’t think they’ll let me have a natural delivery anymore. Waiting for a consultants appt now, crying in the waiting room which has gotten my mask wet so I look like liquid covid.

Baby looks just like my husband though which is sweet, I wonder which variation of huge nose shell inherit as its currently dinky

Mate Hugs.

 

[NP]

Sorry to do a JM but having the shittest time, baby is bleeping huge after gaining 2lbs in just over a week and I don’t think they’ll let me have a natural delivery anymore. Waiting for a consultants appt now, crying in the waiting room which has gotten my mask wet so I look like liquid covid.

Baby looks just like my husband though which is sweet, I wonder which variation of huge nose shell inherit as its currently dinky

Big hugs to you. If you end up going down the elective c-section route, I can assure you that I had a wonderfully positive experience with mine and was home the following day. Surgery can feel really scary. Ask lots and lots of questions on all the options available to you. Pros & cons, what in their opinion is safest etc. Choose whatever you feel comfortable with and don’t be pressured into anything.

 

[Gmail]

Just to second @Flumps and @NoseyParkour, my planned section was also very calm and everyone was extremely kind. I felt very safe which I think is so important x

 

[Begborrowsteal]

I had a bad time with my labours, and im still easily triggered but I know of several women who have had elective sections and they all said how calm it was and well controlled. As above, ask any and everything so that youre as informed as can be.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Thank you so much guys reading this has been really soothing, as soon as I got into my consiltant’s room I was crying like mad I felt so bad for wasting a professional’s time. I will reply properly when I’m at my laptop I’m just waiting for my final (I think / hope) appt of getting run through everything by a midwife.

they’ve decided to do an elective c section, luckily the surgeon doing it is my cancer x pregnancy consultant and she was in my tumour operation!! So I’m over the moon and know it’ll be okay cos she’s already had a rummage in my internal goods It’s a bit tit and I wish my husband could stay overnight but covid lol. Also I had a MUCH bigger cut (over top of belly button to pubic bone) for that so I’m not scared about it or recov, I have asked about medicine to help with my anxiety though but they can only give it post delivery.

sorry I don’t mean to make the thread mumsnet at all, I’m waiting for my final appt I hope / think, also I have to have a bleeping covid test gaaaaaggg xx

 

[Flumps]

Thank you so much guys reading this has been really soothing, as soon as I got into my consiltant’s room I was crying like mad I felt so bad for wasting a professional’s time. I will reply properly when I’m at my laptop I’m just waiting for my final (I think / hope) appt of getting run through everything by a midwife.

they’ve decided to do an elective c section, luckily the surgeon doing it is my cancer x pregnancy consultant and she was in my tumour operation!! So I’m over the moon and know it’ll be okay cos she’s already had a rummage in my internal goods It’s a bit tit and I wish my husband could stay overnight but covid lol. Also I had a MUCH bigger cut (over top of belly button to pubic bone) for that so I’m not scared about it or recov, I have asked about medicine to help with my anxiety though but they can only give it post delivery.

sorry I don’t mean to make the thread mumsnet at all, I’m waiting for my final appt I hope / think, also I have to have a bleeping covid test gaaaaaggg xx

Don't feel bad. I think doctors (especially the consultant ones you see when tit gets real) are proper used to people crying at them. Certainly that's what they've always told me anyway and I choose to believe them. Though, mind you, I did once apparently, in a post cancer op drug induced moment, have a conversation with my consultant that I cannot remember at all and I must have said *something* very odd. I only know it happened because he came back a couple of hours later and I was talking to him like it was the first time I had seen him since the op. He was looking at me strangely, and I said 'Why are you looking at me like that?'. He said 'Don't you remember the conversation we had earlier'. Me: '.......'. Him 'Never mind, we don't have to talk about it again'. Stifled giggling from the recovery nurses. No one would ever tell me what I'd said. I probably told him I loved him or was going to name any future children after him, and as he was a late-middle aged rather stiff upper lip sort of chap, I am, overall, relieved no one has ever told me the content of that chat.

Spoiler: Mother thread chat - SA triggering

Ok. I am now at Thursday evening in my mother thread grunka, where it all went dark as. I am having to take regular breaks. That is all very upsetting and pounding on my triggers. I really hope it isn't lying/exaggeration, and then that fucks with my head, because that somehow means I'm hoping something awful happened. That's one hell of a bleeping thing. Whatever the reality I'm feeling hugely disturbed by something like that being used as a weapon in conversation. I've only just got started on this bit, so I guess maybe things change, and sorry for bringing it here, it's me being self-indulgent, but I can't process it in my own head and the main thread has (I imagine) moved on a lot. I should probably stop, but I am tired and in a lot of pain today, and my impulse control is as poor as anything even when I'm on my game.

 

[Pocahontas]

Don't feel bad. I think doctors (especially the consultant ones you see when tit gets real) are proper used to people crying at them. Certainly that's what they've always told me anyway and I choose to believe them. Though, mind you, I did once apparently, in a post cancer op drug induced moment, have a conversation with my consultant that I cannot remember at all and I must have said *something* very odd. I only know it happened because he came back a couple of hours later and I was talking to him like it was the first time I had seen him since the op. He was looking at me strangely, and I said 'Why are you looking at me like that?'. He said 'Don't you remember the conversation we had earlier'. Me: '.......'. Him 'Never mind, we don't have to talk about it again'. Stifled giggling from the recovery nurses. No one would ever tell me what I'd said. I probably told him I loved him or was going to name any future children after him, and as he was a late-middle aged rather stiff upper lip sort of chap, I am, overall, relieved no one has ever told me the content of that chat.

Spoiler: Mother thread chat - SA triggering

Ok. I am now at Thursday evening in my mother thread grunka, where it all went dark as. I am having to take regular breaks. That is all very upsetting and pounding on my triggers. I really hope it isn't lying/exaggeration, and then that fucks with my head, because that somehow means I'm hoping something awful happened. That's one hell of a bleeping thing. Whatever the reality I'm feeling hugely disturbed by something like that being used as a weapon in conversation. I've only just got started on this bit, so I guess maybe things change, and sorry for bringing it here, it's me being self-indulgent, but I can't process it in my own head and the main thread has (I imagine) moved on a lot. I should probably stop, but I am tired and in a lot of pain today, and my impulse control is as poor as anything even when I'm on my game.

Just skim it all my love - it was a dark discussion for a bit

 

[Veronicaaa]

Spoiler: Mother thread chat - SA triggering

Ok. I am now at Thursday evening in my mother thread grunka, where it all went dark as. I am having to take regular breaks. That is all very upsetting and pounding on my triggers. I really hope it isn't lying/exaggeration, and then that fucks with my head, because that somehow means I'm hoping something awful happened. That's one hell of a bleeping thing. Whatever the reality I'm feeling hugely disturbed by something like that being used as a weapon in conversation. I've only just got started on this bit, so I guess maybe things change, and sorry for bringing it here, it's me being self-indulgent, but I can't process it in my own head and the main thread has (I imagine) moved on a lot. I should probably stop, but I am tired and in a lot of pain today, and my impulse control is as poor as anything even when I'm on my game.

I can't believe that was only on Thursday, bleeping hell. She really throws out some extremely upsetting content without a second thought, doesn't she? MarmiteExtract is currently grunka-ing through k*ttengate and whenever I check my notifications to see what comment she's faved I'm like

 

[LennyBriscoe]

So the MG disappearance, I had noticed the lack of big long repetitive interchangeable posts (interspersed with the very short but equally ignorable hammy posts) over the weekend, but I hadn’t realised there was a self-implosion/ taking it outside Tattle!

It’s like pretty much the only rule here, unless you’re on a Blues Brothers type Mission from Gaad [thinking at this time of this thread’s own beloved Joan of Arc (🪐 )], and you have to self-sacrifice yourself...

I mean, what is so hard to understand? Why do people continue to do it?

Hey! I always forget about this thread. I’m actually supposed to be WFH today but I CBA.

I had a couple of days off of the mother thread and when I posted on Saturday I said I felt there was a different vibe there...it’s maybe a combination of things (one of which might be me) I wondered where MG was a wee while ago. I didn’t think there was an issue at all and I certainly never saw and exclusionary posts.

I knew JM annoyed her from the posts I did read but never thought anything would have been taken to SM....because when she first joined she wrote this loooooong post about how she had been stalked horrendously (that started on Twitter) so if that’s the case, I would have thought she wouldn’t want to be involved in doing that to anyone else.

Apologies if I’ve picked that up wrong. Another poster with a problematic tattle history, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had ham-pered things...

I should go back to work (booooooo) but I will come back. I feel a bit of a fraud because my cooking is basic so my input may mainly consist of gifs and puns

 

[panda_eyes]

I should go back to work (booooooo) but I will come back. I feel a bit of a fraud because my cooking is basic so my input may mainly consist of gifs and puns

Babe, same x (minus the puns, I do love reading the new recipes and exciting things people suggest and cook though).