Food & Drink #3

[Emlo]

Maybe unpopular, but whatevs. I don't like Saturn. I didn't like him when he was here, and I don't like him now that he's trying to be a wise-arse elsewhere.

There's a reason he was booted off of here, I *personally* don't think he should be engaged with, he clearly has an issue with it, and ultimately I think he just makes us all look bad/trollish. (Which we are not - but it only takes a few to sour the name of a whole group).

I felt similar in the early days when he was engaging directly with her. But now it’s all so cryptic I think it would go over JM and followers heads anyway. It’s like that strange torontopaper twitter feed about the sussexes. No idea what either of them are going on about but I like to play along <confused maths woman gif>

 

[HarderFaster]

I had champagne for dinner because, after 18 months of long distance, my boyfriend finally moved in with me today. I've never cohabited before so I finally feel like an actual grown up.

I feel like I've been absent too long to say everything I want as a catch up but big love to everyone struggling with JM's nonsense: it's mad how she can make one feel inadequate or "less than" even when she is clearly a very sad and lonely person. The mark of a manipulator, I suppose.

I thought better of Nigella, I really did.

 

[emm]

I had champagne for dinner because, after 18 months of long distance, my boyfriend finally moved in with me today. I've never cohabited before so I finally feel like an actual grown up.

I feel like I've been absent too long to say everything I want as a catch up but big love to everyone struggling with JM's nonsense: it's mad how she can make one feel inadequate or "less than" even when she is clearly a very sad and lonely person. The mark of a manipulator, I suppose.

I thought better of Nigella, I really did.

Congrats on the cohabitation I hope it’s all going well also what did nigella do? I cba to watch the mother thread anymore as I’m following too many others

 

[Pocahontas]

Congrats on the cohabitation I hope it’s all going well also what did nigella do? I cba to watch the mother thread anymore as I’m following too many others

Yes congratulations @HarderFaster ! I hope you had some placebo playing to celebrate Now you’re going to live with a maaaaaan! (sorry, makes me think of Monice from Friends)
@emm - nigella retweeted a link / reference to JM’s Potato blog, so then obviously all her followers also got to read the ‘work of art‘ and think about donating money.

 

[AdultHumanFemale]

I felt similar in the early days when he was engaging directly with her. But now it’s all so cryptic I think it would go over JM and followers heads anyway. It’s like that strange torontopaper twitter feed about the sussexes. No idea what either of them are going on about but I like to play along <confused maths woman gif>

Hmm, I would agree except for the fact he names people on here... That's not cryptic. It's leaving not even breadcrumbs but a full blown trail.

Speaking of, I cannot stand when people don't say what they mean, and mean what they say. Which is a strrooooong vibe I get from him.

This is has been bothering me for a long time.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

The difference between JM and literally everyone else on the planet is how she's choosing to deal with these problems - if she had come out and said look, have fucked up, coming back with a bang and an amazing new Patreon none of us could say tit cos fair does she's monetising all that social capital she earned chatting to people from the Guardian / hanging out down at the Groucho. None of us would have the cheek / lack of humanity tbh to do that and that's why I'm having my Shrek's angry mob moment with her lool.

Also I do think society as a whole is geared against women flourishing, but ESPECIALLY with money. There's so much bullshit from the bleeping wage GULF (a gap is too small a descriptor for it tbh) we endure, the maternity discrimination, age discrim, the fact someone decided you need 35 years NI contributions for full state pension but we have primary caring responsibilities, the value of women's unpaid labour, the marriage premium WE confer onto men, women tend to be the resident parent in separated families which is ££ and career limiting, our pensions which are a % of a lifetime of lower salaries/part time work/gaps in employment, blah blah blah. Then you layer on top ~consumerism and how women are under constant scrutiny for their looks, their homes, their kids' appearance, everything, this is now exacerbated through social media, is it any surprise women end up getting into debt to fund what they're literally told they should be doing else they're a piece of tit? Or not one of the cool girls~ on insta, why aren't you cool and carefree like this mum that gets £300 jumpsuits for free???

Sorry for the essay but I've been feeling this a LOT recently because of my antenatal classes / wanky positive birthing classes I've felt like the only way to safeguard yourself from other people's judgment and the slippery slope into using stuff to fix your internal tit is to take a step back from people altogether, but I worry I'll turn into some weirdo? My first (NHS, ffs!!) antenatal class I had some idiot going on about her £300 hypnobirthing class as if it actually meant anything beyond status signalling/some sort of weird cat pissing up a wall assertion of dominance in the group? I just thought great what an unenjoyable way to set the tone of this class for everyone else u actual loser? The subsequent class was horrid it was all middle class older mums one upping each other preaching evangelically about their desires for natural births (as if the rest of us are ravaging smackheads dying for a bit of recreational anaesthetic? why are medical interventions moralised?), at home in a pool, it went round robin style so when they got to me I was like yep don't really have a choice have to go to the labour ward, just hoping both of us are happy and alive by the end of it )) I'm so grateful for covid that no one has been able to arrange the meet ups they chat about on the whatsapp groups cos fuuuuck thaaaat!

 

[Marj24]

JM is exhausting, back to food. I had toast and marmite a late brunch (4pm) Thick cut white bloomer, butter, marmite, delish!

Had Black Farmer free range, corn fed chicken wings for tea/dinner. Shared with son, 900g of wings, an Ocado bargain for £2.00. Simmered in veg stock for 15 mins. Dredged with potato flour, paprika, onion and garlic powder and salt. Cooked in air fryer for 15 mins until hot and crispy. Served with coleslaw, mini cobs and onion rings. I now have some quality stock for another dish #cheapcheerfulrecipes

 

[Flumps]

JM is exhausting, back to food. I had toast and marmite a late brunch (4pm) Thick cut white bloomer, butter, marmite, delish!

Had Black Farmer free range, corn fed chicken wings for tea/dinner. Shared with son, 900g of wings, an Ocado bargain for £2.00. Simmered in veg stock for 15 mins. Dredged with potato flour, paprika, onion and garlic powder and salt. Cooked in air fryer for 15 mins until hot and crispy. Served with coleslaw, mini cobs and onion rings. I now have some quality stock for another dish #cheapcheerfulrecipes

I love chicken wings. Also, your post is another thing to add to my growing list of 'reasons I should immediately purchase an air fryer' .

I had champagne for dinner because, after 18 months of long distance, my boyfriend finally moved in with me today. I've never cohabited before so I finally feel like an actual grown up.

I feel like I've been absent too long to say everything I want as a catch up but big love to everyone struggling with JM's nonsense: it's mad how she can make one feel inadequate or "less than" even when she is clearly a very sad and lonely person. The mark of a manipulator, I suppose.

I thought better of Nigella, I really did.

Yay for champagne for dinner. I mean, also cohabiting, that is very good too, but I am enjoying the decadent sounding way you've chosen to celebrate.

I think Nigella is probably kind and doesn't pay the forensic level of detail some of us do to JM's stories. Also, less to her credit, which makes me sad, because I love the woman, though it happens to all of us sometimes, I suspect she is flattered by the obvious admiration.

Maybe unpopular, but whatevs. I don't like Saturn. I didn't like him when he was here, and I don't like him now that he's trying to be a wise-arse elsewhere.

There's a reason he was booted off of here, I *personally* don't think he should be engaged with, he clearly has an issue with it, and ultimately I think he just makes us all look bad/trollish. (Which we are not - but it only takes a few to sour the name of a whole group).

Saturn makes me laugh. Always has done. I think he is clever and his way with words amuses me (against my better judgement sometimes). His writing style also reminds me of someone I used to, ahem, know, to the point that for a while I genuinely worried that it was him for a while. However, he did break the rules of here, with regard to JM, and though I'm not a slavish rule follower in general, I do think any site/forum has a right to set their rules, and if you break 'em, then you know what you're doing and while it's everyone's right to say what they think elsewhere on the internet, indirectly bitching about it isn't the best look. I think the 'keep it on Tattle' rule is a very good one, because it does make us look bad/trollish (because it is) to take it directly to the person being talked about. Obvs Saturn <waves> can decide to do that independently, and I can see why someone might choose to do that as an individual, especially if you feel like others are being suckered, but I am in agreement with you that it's not fair to drag Tattle at the same time.

 

[emm]

I love chicken wings. Also, your post is another thing to add to my growing list of 'reasons I should immediately purchase an air fryer' .



Yay for champagne for dinner. I mean, also cohabiting, that is very good too, but I am enjoying the decadent sounding way you've chosen to celebrate.

I think Nigella is probably kind and doesn't pay the forensic level of detail some of us do to JM's stories. Also, less to her credit, which makes me sad, because I love the woman, though it happens to all of us sometimes, I suspect she is flattered by the obvious admiration.



Saturn makes me laugh. Always has done. I think he is clever and his way with words amuses me (against my better judgement sometimes). His writing style also reminds me of someone I used to, ahem, know, to the point that for a while I genuinely worried that it was him for a while. However, he did break the rules of here, with regard to JM, and though I'm not a slavish rule follower in general, I do think any site/forum has a right to set their rules, and if you break 'em, then you know what you're doing and while it's everyone's right to say what they think elsewhere on the internet, indirectly bitching about it isn't the best look. I think the 'keep it on Tattle' rule is a very good one, because it does make us look bad/trollish (because it is) to take it directly to the person being talked about. Obvs Saturn <waves> can decide to do that independently, and I can see why someone might choose to do that as an individual, especially if you feel like others are being suckered, but I am in agreement with you that it's not fair to drag Tattle at the same time.

“Ahem, know” make me hoot with laughter

 

[emm]

Yes completely - fuuuuuuck that! Love that you answered in that way - because oh my god exactly - an outcome of coming out of the hospital with both you and the baby alive and well is surely the best, and whatever happens along the way happens along the way?! A birth is a birth - natural, hypnoed, intervened in, whatever.

Any kind of posturing about what choices you may make in terms of prep (Say, for example, a £300 hypnobirthing class, yoga, meditation, whatever) shouldn’t be used to make other expectant women feel lacking in comparison!

Yep also to what you say about debt

I haven’t even had a baby but it’s drives me mad how much judgement there is on women’s birth choices, it’s her choice, leave her to it! what I find especially bizarre is women who brag about not having an epidural/ people who shake women for having them, you would never brag about not having anesthetisic for any other medical procedure, I really just don’t get it !

 

[crystaleyesd]

Thank you fraus for all your kind words and insight! This place is the best

@crystaleyesd
Rather selfishly I properly loved your Paris updates so you made a sad old Francophile Frau very happy.

can more people go to Paris and tell me about it please. When I actually go to Paris I get a bit weird and overwhelmed so I much prefer other people to go for me!

OK then, just for you @Fenella - the most Parisian scene ever

The man in the beret started painting me and I was tres flattered, and then he showed it me and it was me in my corona mask with the word OBEDIENCE in big black letters - turned out he was a conspiracy theorist...

Also I do think society as a whole is geared against women flourishing, but ESPECIALLY with money. There's so much bullshit from the bleeping wage GULF (a gap is too small a descriptor for it tbh) we endure, the maternity discrimination, age discrim, the fact someone decided you need 35 years NI contributions for full state pension but we have primary caring responsibilities, the value of women's unpaid labour, the marriage premium WE confer onto men, women tend to be the resident parent in separated families which is ££ and career limiting, our pensions which are a % of a lifetime of lower salaries/part time work/gaps in employment, blah blah blah. Then you layer on top ~consumerism and how women are under constant scrutiny for their looks, their homes, their kids' appearance, everything, this is now exacerbated through social media, is it any surprise women end up getting into debt to fund what they're literally told they should be doing else they're a piece of tit? Or not one of the cool girls~ on insta, why aren't you cool and carefree like this mum that gets £300 jumpsuits for free???

Sorry for the essay but I've been feeling this a LOT recently because of my antenatal classes / wanky positive birthing classes I've felt like the only way to safeguard yourself from other people's judgment and the slippery slope into using stuff to fix your internal tit is to take a step back from people altogether, but I worry I'll turn into some weirdo? My first (NHS, ffs!!) antenatal class I had some idiot going on about her £300 hypnobirthing class as if it actually meant anything beyond status signalling/some sort of weird cat pissing up a wall assertion of dominance in the group? I just thought great what an unenjoyable way to set the tone of this class for everyone else u actual loser? The subsequent class was horrid it was all middle class older mums one upping each other preaching evangelically about their desires for natural births (as if the rest of us are ravaging smackheads dying for a bit of recreational anaesthetic? why are medical interventions moralised?), at home in a pool, it went round robin style so when they got to me I was like yep don't really have a choice have to go to the labour ward, just hoping both of us are happy and alive by the end of it )) I'm so grateful for covid that no one has been able to arrange the meet ups they chat about on the whatsapp groups cos fuuuuck thaaaat!

@heretoreaditall2019 this is so true and astute. Your posts are always *chefs kiss*

 

[Flumps]

I've been thinking about courgettes since I woke up this morning. That's my weird little brain (TM JM) for you...

I think you've talked fritters already but they are one of my favourite ways with courgettes as they are, well, yum, and they practically make their own dinner, especially with a fried egg on top and any leftover tomato pasta sauce you might have hanging around

Courgette Fritters

I know the word fritter conjures up a complex world of deep-frying and dense-eating, but these are light, simple babies — just grated courgettes, mixed with feta, herbs and spring onions, stirred up with flour and eggs and dolloped into a frying pan to make little vegetable pancakes which...

www.nigella.com

This is my ur-recipe. I make them like this often, but also leave out the mint and up the parsley content. Often add a chopped red chilli because everything is better with heat in my book. Or leave out the mint and the feta and add a shed-load of parmesan to make a thinner, crisper, saltier, more Italianate version, and I spritz those with lemon juice. If I have time/energy, I don't just dry the courgette slivers, I add salt and leave them for a while, it drags out even more liquid and infuses the courgette with magical salty goodness that makes the finished product even better.

Ok, courgette fritti, it's not revolutionary and this is deep frying and faffing about with batter, but it is entirely worth it. Do not skip salting the courgette, it's essential and makes it magical. I have these either with garlic mayo or chilli mayo or both. They are my favourite treat, my mum used to make them occasionally when I was a kid, and I'd rather have them than chips.

An Italian lesson to remember: Rose Gray's obsession with la cucina

I first met Rose Gray 13 years ago, when she and Ruth Rogers were celebrating 10 years of the River Café's existence. Rose was lean-faced and wore rimless glasses like a Nazi camp commandant, but her conversation was warm and her eyes sparkled. Alternately friendly and firm, she reminded me of a...

www.independent.co.uk

I made a courgette salad yesterday. Griddled the courgette (and set my partner's smoke alarm off), then dressed in good olive oil, lemon, salt and pepper and a lot of parsley (almost enough to make it an ingredient in its own right rather than a flavouring). A bit of minced garlic is also good, but reduces the lightness a bit. I dress the courgette a bit beforehand to let it steep, then add parsley at the end.

It's old school cooking, but I like bigger ones stuffed. Sausage meat is easy and my favourite. I tend to make a stuffing out of whatever I have lurking about, but this is a similar sort of recipe to what I tend to come up with.

Stuffed Zucchini {with Sausage!}

Have a few extra-large zucchinis? Stuff them with Italian sausage, onions, garlic, tomato, and fresh breadcrumbs, and bake. (Swap in medium-sized zucchinis, too!)

www.simplyrecipes.com

Discovered this recipe for parmesan baked courgettes recently and it's really good. Has a feel of fritti without all the deep frying malarky and everything is better with parmesan.

Baked Parmesan Zucchini Recipe - Damn Delicious

Baked Parmesan Zucchini Recipe - Crisp, tender zucchini sticks oven-roasted to perfection. It's healthy, nutritious and completely addictive!

damndelicious.net

One of my favourite Chinese side dishes is nicked from Fuchsia Dunlop. Matchstick sliced courgette, again salted and left for a bit, squeeze out excess water, then stir fry with thin, thin, slices of garlic. So much more than the sum of its parts. I would happily eat this all the time.

Alternatively, salt the courgettes in thicker batons, then dredge with seasoned flour (salt and pepper, but paprika is nice too) and stir fry for another easy side.

Courgettes are a key part of my favourite minestrone recipe. It's Nigella's from How to Eat and it's so much nicer than any of those ones with a tomato base. Courgettes add depth and silkiness to it in a way that I don't have the proper words for. This is such a good soup.

Minestrone Soup

We were lucky enough to have Anu, Joan and their baby daughter, Niah over for lunch, as well as Ginny and Matt. Tara had decided to go sho...

hullandrew.blogspot.com

.

I've made this Ottolenghi pasta once and it's lovely, but there are other lovely sounding courgette recipes here too.

Yotam Ottolenghi’s summer courgette recipes

It’s time we gave courgettes the praise they deserve

www.theguardian.com

Oh, one more pasta... I really like this pasta from Nigella. Bit different with the sultanas and pine nuts, they are what lift it up a bit. I assume from the sultanas it's vaguely Venetian. Whatever the origin, if you like a weird bit of sweetness in your savoury dish then this is wonderful. I have made it with pappardelle and that does make it more luxurious, but have substituted other pasta quite happily too.

Pappardelle with courgettes, sultanas and pine nuts

Forever summer, 279pp. by Nigella Lawson Chatto and Windus, London, 2002 Cooking on page 32 Summer is officially over in Australia—every year the country moves to autumn on 1 March. But I love summ…

cookingonpage32.wordpress.com

 

[crystaleyesd]

Annoyingly that courgette and lemon pancake recipe JM has reposted on her site actually looks edible and something I would make. Not a patch on the recipes you just posted @Flumps, and I'm certainly not giving her the satisfaction of posting it.

My ex wasn't particularly great in the kitchen, but he did make a mean version of this - https://racheleats.wordpress.com/2009/09/16/fusilli-pasta-with-zucchini-and-butter/. Probably cos he wasn't afraid to use the amount of butter it recommends... it is DELICIOUS.

 

[Boredofthegram]

Exactly! Can’t stand the judgement - ways to make a (fellow) woman feel tit about pain medication for something that is painful! Or for not paying out £££ to join an NCT antenatal group, rather than just attending the NHS group.

A woman’s choice for herself and her body should extend to childbirth and what she decides - or you know what, sometimes have decided for her in the interests of her / the baby’s heath - should not be used to make her feel tit because she didn’t sit in a bath at home chewing on lavender and ease the baby out in 20 minutes

Precisely this. When I had my son i was not in a great financial place and on my own so couldn’t do the whole NCT thing which made me feel ‘less than’ compared to friends who’d done it. I went to one NHS class but was the only one with no birth partner and the judgement from everyone was unreal which surprised me in this day and age when single parenthood isn’t a strange thing!

anyhoo, I totally agree that a safe arrival for bubs and a safe mum is the only thing that matters. I actually did end up hypnobirthing but no need for £££ courses I actually got a book/cd out of my local library which did the trick (despite me being really cynical that it would actually work!).

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Precisely this. When I had my son i was not in a great financial place and on my own so couldn’t do the whole NCT thing which made me feel ‘less than’ compared to friends who’d done it. I went to one NHS class but was the only one with no birth partner and the judgement from everyone was unreal which surprised me in this day and age when single parenthood isn’t a strange thing!

anyhoo, I totally agree that a safe arrival for bubs and a safe mum is the only thing that matters. I actually did end up hypnobirthing but no need for £££ courses I actually got a book/cd out of my local library which did the trick (despite me being really cynical that it would actually work!).

Tbh if it’s any consolation they are largely tit and I always think medically inaccurate, I’ve done the wanky birthing class and the teacher said how if you have the p pain killer late on you have problems bonding with baby cos they’re drowsy when you come out? duck off love what peer reviewed study told u that load of bollocks?

Doing a JM and off to APPOINTMENTS to see if the baby is too big she needs popping out. Life is cruel that I’m birthing someone with very long legs whilst I have to get tins down from the mid and top shelves with a fork myself Also managed to sell some bits on eBay so feel like Martin Lewis x

 

[NP]

Pregnancy and childbirth seems to bring about a oneupmanship in some women. Even once you’ve had your baby and you go to a baby group, you can’t avoid hearing everyone’s birth stories and it either becomes competitive tales of woe or a competition for who did it without any pain relief and was up and out jogging the following morning. I’ve had two caesareans and will be having one again. When people tell me they had a “normal birth” I can’t help but roll my eyes because all birth choices are normal and I went with what was safest and recommended to me for my health and for my babies. Motherhood is endless judgement. Just visit the BabyCentre forums during the weaning stage

 

[Flumps]

Precisely this. When I had my son i was not in a great financial place and on my own so couldn’t do the whole NCT thing which made me feel ‘less than’ compared to friends who’d done it. I went to one NHS class but was the only one with no birth partner and the judgement from everyone was unreal which surprised me in this day and age when single parenthood isn’t a strange thing!

anyhoo, I totally agree that a safe arrival for bubs and a safe mum is the only thing that matters. I actually did end up hypnobirthing but no need for £££ courses I actually got a book/cd out of my local library which did the trick (despite me being really cynical that it would actually work!).

As part of my degree I did a chunk of qualitative research around services/resources for expectant mothers and the experiences of those accessing them. Your experience isn't surprising to me. Overwhelming sense I got from all the interviews I did and fascinating stuff I learnt was that anyone who deviated from the 2 middle-class parent set up that the services expected to see got a very different experience from those who seemed to fit into that niche. Mostly it seemed to be around tone, being dictated to regarding how things were going to go, rather than a dialogue between equals was incredibly common.

 

[panda_eyes]

Pregnancy and childbirth seems to bring about a oneupmanship in some women. Even once you’ve had your baby and you go to a baby group, you can’t avoid hearing everyone’s birth stories and it either becomes competitive tales of woe or a competition for who did it without any pain relief and was up and out jogging the following morning. I’ve had two caesareans and will be having one again. When people tell me they had a “normal birth” I can’t help but roll my eyes because all birth choices are normal and I went with what was safest and recommended to me for my health and for my babies. Motherhood is endless judgement. Just visit the BabyCentre forums during the weaning stage

I went to a babyshower where the room seemed to be split into half telling the competitive tales of birthing woe and the other half who hadn't had babies looking more and more horrified (I'm in the second group but one day hope to be in the first, without the tales). It's insane to me that people are judged for the birth they choose. If you want an elected C-section (I can't spell the proper word), go for it. If you want all the medication, go for it. If you want a birthing pool with a mariachi band with you, go for it. Outside of you, your birthing partner if you choose, and the medical team, it's nobody elses business.

I looked into doing a midwifery degree a few years ago and unsuccessfully applied (before George Osborne took away the money and made it impossible for older students to exist doing the course) and read a lot of Ina May Gaskin books which were inspiring, she talks about birthing practices around the world and medical procedures.

I also tried selling a TV on Facebook marketplace this weekend and took it off after 4 hours because I was inundated with messages where people were playing silly buggers and it was just TOO MUCH. I've stuck it on eBay instead, much better.

 

[SoulRebel]

Afternoon friends. I’m burnt out from JM tbh, it’s a chore to check her twitter and I sigh when I see she’s tweeted. But I have nowt else to do so i’ll plod along until I truly cba.

Speaking of twitter, some rather obvious crisp packets rustling away in JM’s twitter feed. Well intentioned but naughty. Staying with food i’m really annoyed because I bought a posh loaf as they didn’t have any own brand in and it’s gone mouldy, unopened, with 3 days before its bb date. Annoying.

I feel weird about the money stuff as I am on tit loads of benefits because I am too to have a job. And because part of my is that I don’t go anywhere or do anything then i’m actually fine for money. Within reason, obvs. Where I live the rent is extortionate so i’ve paid £350 more than a mortgage payment for over ten years so most of it goes on that. So Jack’s horror at benefits and poverty isn’t actually accurate, for me, anyway. This horrible government that I oppose in every single way have looked after me pretty well, aside from some gtapplings with the lovely ATOS, but they’re gone now.

Aaaanyway. I’m hungry now and all I really fancy is toast. I tried to defrost some old bread from the (solitary) freezer but it’s gone hard at the edge and spongy in the middle.

This little screamy face was in my bread the other morning!

 

[Raker]

The birthing thing is crazy. You can make all the plans you want (music, candlelight, aromatherapy, organic free-range drugs or not), but hey, no one informs the baby of your plans. If you get what you “planned” (I.e. think you wanted) — great.

Mostly things are reactive, altering minute by minute, depending on ever changing circumstances with the ultimate goal, as you say, of keeping both of you alive.

Medical intervention of any type, from a bit of gas and air to full blown emergency section, is no less worthy than silent delivery in a yurt full of chanting and incense.

good luck to all Fraus going through it at the moment, can’t wait to have a cabal crèche!!!!