Toddler advice thread

[watermelon sugar]

Good morning guys! Mini melon slept till 6.30 this morning so the Cheerios before bed seemed to work thanks so much nap police! X

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Help! Does anyone have any advice for what to do when your toddler's sleep goes to pot but you have a baby too?

Background - my two year old (nearly 3) has been sleeping well in his cot in his own room for ages. Kept him in a cotbed as he's super happy in it and doesn't climb.

Had another baby before Christmas who's in our room in a next to me but often ends up bedsharing in the night.

Husband is a bit of a twat - not very supportive and has been having a lot of nights out/ weekends away which has put the toddler in a tailspin. Couple this with my husband not being able to put any boundaries on our toddler or act like a parent, so when he's around its like they're playmates and my son bosses him around.

Husband has been sleeping in a spare room for a while - gets disturbed by baby and because he's been going out a lot and smoking I haven't really wanted him in our room either.

Problem is now my toddler yells for dad every night and instead of staying in his room and supporting him to sleep he just scoops toddler up and puts him in bed with him.

Cue last night - dad went to see Tyson fury at wembley and didn't return until Sunday dinnertime. Saturday night was a nightmare and I had to out toddler in with me as he was having a blue arsed fit, he then didn't sleep, kicked all night long, woke the baby and we were up for the day at 5am. Sunday night Toddler goes to bed ok but woke at 11 shouting for dad. Dad's too hungover and doesn't respond. I spent next two hours trying to settle him, backwards and forwards between him and new baby who was stirring too. Dad then swoops in and puts toddler in bed with him. So the two hours I spent on the floor was for nothing.

Wtaf can I do? My toddler's sleep was so good and this is so frustrating.
Problem is my husband is soon going to get sick of bedsharing and my toddler is getting crap sleep too, I could hear him talking constantly all night, then my husband is tired and pissy with him. More of a rant really but has anyone experienced this?

Your husband is your biggest problem here. What the fuck is wrong with him? Going out boozing and carrying on like a man with no responsibilities at home. Fuck that.

 

[pinksunsetx91]

need somewhere to offload…today I broke down sobbing in front of my 2 year old while we were playing in the garden. Basically it’s a build up of emotions, I’m not sleeping more than 2 hours a night due to pregnant related ailments (this has been going on for weeks now), I’ve got a few decorating renovations going on which has been stressful on top of a bad week last week plus toddler son had a few tough days too. I now feel absolutely terrible as when I looked up he was standing all sad with his petty lip out. All I could do was give him a massive cuddle and the whole day I keep looking at him and feel absolutely terrible

 

[watermelon sugar]

My 2.3 year old LOVES pasta. Wallops it down. He likes spaghetti hoops too, the Thomas the tank shaped ones and Peppa ones especially. Loves a sarnie. He absolutely loves alphabites but only if I put good letters, he seems to hate O’s and I’s but loves it when I lash in a Q or a W

 

[Definitelyme]

My son has a tendency to try something new (rarely) and go “mmm that’s actually delicious!” And then never even put it near his mouth again. If I say “oh do you want any more of that?”
“Oh no thanks, that was plenty”

that one lick must have him stuffed

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

really losing the will with everything lately. feel really let down by my sons HV. He just turned three this week and has speech delay. At his 2 year check which happened 5 months after he turned 2 (I know there is a back log since lockdown) but i expressed my concerns and she never followed it up, said he’d need more Time. And she’d ring back in a month. Never did … I rang loads and so did nursery. Still no help. Nursery decided to put him through their version can’t remember what it’s called… they said he’s too old as it’s only for kids up to 2?! and he’s still making no progess. And it makes me really sad. I just want to help him but feel I’m getting no where and can’t afford private just feeling A bit sorry for myself because he’s going through a really clingy stage. I go to work every day feeling guilty as hell cos he cries every morning at nursery / grandparents.

 

[Blair-Waldorf]

Hey everyone thanks for all your advice and Thanks for all the comments about the gro clock, I asked my other half to order one off Amazon prime but he forgot (fucking men) so I’ve done it myself. She’s slept in her own bed fri sat night 7:30-6, cried and kept getting out of bed but by 8:15 both nights she was asleep.. last night was a bit tricky but she’s got a cough so went in a few times to see to her but didn’t give in. She’s asleep now, just heard her start snoring. We’ve moved her into the bigger room so her black out blind doesn’t fit the new window so I’ve ordered a new one

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Or when they love something one day, and then you offer it again a few days later and they refuse it and act like you’ve just offered them a turd sandwich!

 

[JulesC]

Does anyone have a toddler who is not a great sleeper and work full time?

I have a good job which I enjoy (most of the time) and a fairly senior position. I also have a 2.5 yr old who likes middle of the night parties for up to 3 hours she’s better now than she was but when she’s ill, her sleep goes to pot again. I feel like she’s ill every couple of weeks at the moment so I’m permanently exhausted. We’ve just been on holiday for a week but holidays with a toddler just aren’t relaxing and she had a couple of nights where she was up for a few hours in the middle of the night. I’ve come back to work today and ended up breaking into tears this afternoon because of course loads of stuff has built up while I was off and I’m just too busy at the minute anyway. Just wondering how people cope? I’m looking at stress resources we have at work and the top thing it says to deal with stress is get enough sleep but that’s just not an option for me at the moment so what do I do? I think I’m realising you can’t have it all and it makes me sad as I really value my career and want to do well for me and also to show my little girl that women can do well too. Anyway I’m rambling now but I just feel a bit lost. My manager at work is crap too and he’s fairly new so I don’t know him well enough to open up about this properly. I have a supportive partner and he does a lot with our daughter and round the house but she is super clingy to me at the moment and generally wants me if she is ill.

Would be nice to hear whether anyone else has been or is going through this I suppose.

 

[Definitelyme]

Does anyone else have a sleep talker? I googled it ... big mistake... and it can be a sign of stress. And also pretty normal. So now I'm obviously panicking over what my toddler could be stressing about!

2 out of 3 of mine (the ones who can talk ) have been sleep talkers, interestingly both the girls are but not my eldest boy. Usually lasts until they are about 5, but I wouldn’t notice anything linked with stress necessarily. I sleep talk myself, and that would be worst at times of high pressure.

One memorable line from my eldest during the night, sound asleep, she yelled out “NO DADDY THOSE ARE MY CHIPS”

 

[Pinkii]

Is 4 still counted as a toddler? Lol

My nearly 4 year old is absolutely doing my head in atm, all she does is whinge and cry about EVERYTHINGGGGG. From the minute she wakes up she finds something to moan or cry about to the minute she falls asleep.

Its utterly exhausting for all of us, me and her.

Not really sure what advice im looking for but more of a vent maybe

I do everything i can to calm her down, give her solutions, validate her feelings but after the 5th tantrum in 30 mins it gets to be getting very frustrated as I have a 14 month old as well who needs constant supervision and I find its getting harder to control my temper.

Most nights she goes to bed after i have probably shouted or yelled at her to get back into bed for millionth time.

I hate ending my days with her like that but by that point im honestly at the end of my tether, when she is asleep I cry because i hate being an angry mum

 

[Dollenganger]

Is there anything you did differently to bring on this progress? Mine was 2 in November and still only says Ga Da Ma Ba. He does only a few hours of nursery each week but I don’t know what I can do to help get just one word where he attributes it correctly. He understands me when I ask him things and so knows if I’m asking if he is hungry or wants water etc but has no desire to say anything other than his usual sounds.

Toddlers differ so, so much. None of my older children spoke much at just 2 but my youngest child speaks in 6-7 word sentences at just 2. I wasn’t ready for her!

Language development is much more important than speech. If your child is communicating with you in other ways and understands what you’re saying to him then he’s absolutely fine and everything else will follow. His speech will probably come all at once. He may be concentrating on motor skills too at the moment.

 

[nurseren]

Makes it so difficult when my partner is extremely shouty.
Because that's his first response every time!

Hopefully he'll actually listen when I've said we just don't react to it

Thank you all for the advice!

My husband has about this much patience on a good day, he’s a rubber band ready to snap endlessly. Yesterday he banged his head and started complaining, and littlepotato went “you feeling a bit red? Do you need a timeout before we go on our walk?”

Yeah you tell him kid

 

[WhatABore]

Took my 4yo to a stay and play session at her new school this afternoon.
They've got baby chickens.
She walks up to the teacher and says "Can we eat them?"

 

[WhatABore]

Or when they love something one day, and then you offer it again a few days later and they refuse it and act like you’ve just offered them a turd sandwich!

My 4yo one day decided she doesn't like cheese... Except babybells... And orange cheese.. And cheese spread...
She likes them. But doesn't like cheese. Apparently. Even though she liked it all the previous day and would always have a cheese sandwich

 

[Jellybean093]

Do you think it's too long for your households day to day routine? The people on the Internet aren't the nap police.

My 2 year old would sleep for hours in the afternoon if they weren't disturbed.

I don’t think anyone is being the nap police, maybe just giving their own experiences with sleeps?

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Just need a rant really … was putting my son to bed. My other half comes in gets him all giddy! They were running round laughing , little one bouncing on the bed. I shouted at my OH & my son. He wouldn’t stop bouncing. Kicked OH out the room , managed to get son to calm down after 25 mins. He was so sweaty and giddy. Honestly I could have killed OH tonight. He was like mummy doesn’t want us having fun. I went ballistic saying you can’t get him wound up when I’m putting him to bed. I had to tell little one off he cried , I felt awful. He’s been soundly asleep for 40 mins. I have a strict bed time routine that I like to stick to!! So when he ruins it like that it makes me a bit angry

 

[al255]

Help! Does anyone have any advice for what to do when your toddler's sleep goes to pot but you have a baby too?

Background - my two year old (nearly 3) has been sleeping well in his cot in his own room for ages. Kept him in a cotbed as he's super happy in it and doesn't climb.

Had another baby before Christmas who's in our room in a next to me but often ends up bedsharing in the night.

Husband is a bit of a twat - not very supportive and has been having a lot of nights out/ weekends away which has put the toddler in a tailspin. Couple this with my husband not being able to put any boundaries on our toddler or act like a parent, so when he's around its like they're playmates and my son bosses him around.

Husband has been sleeping in a spare room for a while - gets disturbed by baby and because he's been going out a lot and smoking I haven't really wanted him in our room either.

Problem is now my toddler yells for dad every night and instead of staying in his room and supporting him to sleep he just scoops toddler up and puts him in bed with him.

Cue last night - dad went to see Tyson fury at wembley and didn't return until Sunday dinnertime. Saturday night was a nightmare and I had to out toddler in with me as he was having a blue arsed fit, he then didn't sleep, kicked all night long, woke the baby and we were up for the day at 5am. Sunday night Toddler goes to bed ok but woke at 11 shouting for dad. Dad's too hungover and doesn't respond. I spent next two hours trying to settle him, backwards and forwards between him and new baby who was stirring too. Dad then swoops in and puts toddler in bed with him. So the two hours I spent on the floor was for nothing.

Wtaf can I do? My toddler's sleep was so good and this is so frustrating.
Problem is my husband is soon going to get sick of bedsharing and my toddler is getting crap sleep too, I could hear him talking constantly all night, then my husband is tired and pissy with him. More of a rant really but has anyone experienced this?

Hi, thanks for sharing this with us and I’m sorry you’re going through a shitty time. You need to lay down the law with your husband - either he helps be a team and a parent, and be a family or you need to tell him to leave.

You sound like you’re doing a lot of it yourself so why would you need that added stress which I feel like your older child is playing on. Do yourself a favour. Forget your husband exists for the minute and tell your toddler his bed is for sleeping and that’s it. You must be tired and exhausted, sending hugs. Give your husband an ultimatum - he needs to help, support you like a husband should and if he doesn’t he can take his partying ways elsewhere. It’s disrupting your family life x

Edit: I’m a single mum and became one BY choice when my now 2.5 YO daughter was 1 year old in 2021. In fact it was 3 days before her first Christmas. You know what I’d had ENOUGH! My ex was being a right dick, going out wasting all our money, whilst I was putting as much of my own aside so we could get a mortgage and have a stable future for our daughter. In the end and several horrible arguements I decided enough was enough. I was mentally and physically drained, tied in with lockdowns and not really having a life- I decided him not being around me daily would be easier and got rid. He moved out and fast forward to now, I’ve got a mortgage, car, I’ve never been happier. I go away for 5 holidays a year with my daughter and I’m doing better than I ever did. DO NOT stand for shitty behaviour that will effect your kids, you are better than that and you have to be a role model xxxxxx I never ever thought I’d get to this place in Jan 2021 and I did. Now he’s living with his parents again. I think I got the last laugh

 

[BettyCrockerr]

My almost 4yo sleep talks a little bit, I hear her laughing in her sleep a lot. I don’t think it’s related to stress personally.

I absolutely ADORE heading my kids laugh in their sleep!!!!! They have both done it since being newborns - and it carried on for a few years. No better sound that the pure joy of a child laughing

 

[hol20x]

Does anyone else feel like their 3 year old prefers their other parent than them? Everything at the moment is Daddy and its getting me so down

I’m a single parent and my 3yo keeps telling me she misses her daddy. He sees her once a week for a few hours (his choice). It makes me feel like shit that she misses him and he doesn’t care.