Toddler advice thread

[PillowsofFluff]

Hi guys me again!
We are off to Cyprus in 5 weeks, we'll be staying in a villa with a pool. My 2.5 year old has never been swimming/in a pool before, what would you guys suggest in terms of swim aids? One of those weighted vest thingies? Armbands? a pool noodle? I am clueless as to what is best.

I should add, one of the people we are going with is a swimming teacher, so I am hoping she might help us teach her to swim But she's just a family friend not a close one, so I don't want to be presumptuous! I also don't want to pack NOTHING.

Help!

 

[Pinkii]

I can't help much but my daughter is 4.
She whinges constantly.
And then I tell her to stop whingeing and in a whingey voice she'll say "I'm not whingeing" and she ends up repeating that a million times before I eventually replh with Alriiiiighttt.

She whinges at everything and I have to try so hard not to snap all the time.
Makes it even worse when she whinges and I can't understand what she's saying.
And then she'll cry because I can't understand what she's saying

I have a 14 month old too.
So when they're both whingeing all day long it's just too much to handle!

Will your 4yo play in their room?
We got a tv put in her room and all her toys up there for this purpose and she's quite happy playing up there. It feels like a bit of a break when she's up there

Just knowing other people are the same makes me feel a bit better.

Yes she is happy to play on her own most of the time, and she will have some chill out time in her room with her ipad or books. Im hoping when she starts school full time it will help more as her days at nursery aren’t as bad.

i keep reminding myself its all just a phase but honestly this has been the most horrendous phase so far.

I would rather do the early toddler 4am start of the day phase

 

[Sailorontheseasea]

Another 4 year old whinger here too, let’s start a club

 

[and nothing happens]

Oh god my little boy’s behaviour is just awful atm We didn’t really have the terrible twos, I think he’s saved it all up for the threes lol. The tantrums are really something else and he can flip in literally a second but the worst part is he has started hitting me. If I tell him no or ask him to do something he doesn’t want to then he just lashes out. I always tell him off and explain hands are for hugging and playing, not hitting. But honestly, he really goes for me. Last night he started and I kept moving him into the next room and explaining he couldn’t be next to me if he was going to hit, but he would then just run at me and keep hitting me! Went on for about 15 minutes and he was screaming bloody murder the full time. I don’t even remember what kicked him off, would have been something trivial.

We are strict with him, always explain that although he feels cross, it’s not ok to hit and ask him to apologise, which he always does and seems genuinely sorry. I know it’s just a phase and also the fact that toddlers are little dictators who don’t like being told what to do lol, but my god it’s exhausting. Most nights he goes to bed and I just sit and cry. After yesterdays carry on my arms were aching from where he had been hitting me and I just felt so sad. Please tell me this will pass, and it’s not just my child who’s a devil?!

 

[WhatABore]

Oh god my little boy’s behaviour is just awful atm We didn’t really have the terrible twos, I think he’s saved it all up for the threes lol. The tantrums are really something else and he can flip in literally a second but the worst part is he has started hitting me. If I tell him no or ask him to do something he doesn’t want to then he just lashes out. I always tell him off and explain hands are for hugging and playing, not hitting. But honestly, he really goes for me. Last night he started and I kept moving him into the next room and explaining he couldn’t be next to me if he was going to hit, but he would then just run at me and keep hitting me! Went on for about 15 minutes and he was screaming bloody murder the full time. I don’t even remember what kicked him off, would have been something trivial.

We are strict with him, always explain that although he feels cross, it’s not ok to hit and ask him to apologise, which he always does and seems genuinely sorry. I know it’s just a phase and also the fact that toddlers are little dictators who don’t like being told what to do lol, but my god it’s exhausting. Most nights he goes to bed and I just sit and cry. After yesterdays carry on my arms were aching from where he had been hitting me and I just felt so sad. Please tell me this will pass, and it’s not just my child who’s a devil?!

Could you possibly get a big pillow. And tell him that if he feels he needs to hit something, then to hit the pillow? So he's still getting his frustration out but it's directed at the pillow and not you?

I've never tried it but I've seen lots of people suggest it.
I have no idea if it's the right thing to do or not.

 

[Definitelyme]

Hi guys me again!
We are off to Cyprus in 5 weeks, we'll be staying in a villa with a pool. My 2.5 year old has never been swimming/in a pool before, what would you guys suggest in terms of swim aids? One of those weighted vest thingies? Armbands? a pool noodle? I am clueless as to what is best.

I should add, one of the people we are going with is a swimming teacher, so I am hoping she might help us teach her to swim But she's just a family friend not a close one, so I don't want to be presumptuous! I also don't want to pack NOTHING.

Help!

I would just take a rubber ring, or some arm bands. My 3yo would use either.

 

[Kim Mild]

My four year old is always misbehaving, whinging and having tantrums. They didn't really have a terrible twos, so i think they are having a terrible fours instead.

Another 4 year old whinger here too, let’s start a club

I'll join

 

[WhatABore]

Hi guys me again!
We are off to Cyprus in 5 weeks, we'll be staying in a villa with a pool. My 2.5 year old has never been swimming/in a pool before, what would you guys suggest in terms of swim aids? One of those weighted vest thingies? Armbands? a pool noodle? I am clueless as to what is best.

I should add, one of the people we are going with is a swimming teacher, so I am hoping she might help us teach her to swim But she's just a family friend not a close one, so I don't want to be presumptuous! I also don't want to pack NOTHING.

Help!

We have always used puddle jumpers.
But as one of the people you're going with is a swim teacher, I think they have their own opinions on all floatation devices and don't suggest using any at all

 

[teddy19]

Anyone on here get the 30 hours free childcare and send their child 3 days a week all year round? Just wanting an idea of monthly cost ahead of my little boy getting his funding in Jan

I think it works out he’d be doing 31.5 hours a week, 51 weeks a year

Ive read the 30 hours a week get you 1140 hours over the year, so we would be 466.50 hours a year over, how do I work out the cost of that?

For reference our nursery is £54.50 a day

 

[WhatABore]

Anyone on here get the 30 hours free childcare and send their child 3 days a week all year round? Just wanting an idea of monthly cost ahead of my little boy getting his funding in Jan

I think it works out he’d be doing 31.5 hours a week, 51 weeks a year

Ive read the 30 hours a week get you 1140 hours over the year, so we would be 466.50 hours a year over, how do I work out the cost of that?

For reference our nursery is £54.50 a day

I think you'd have to ask your nursery. As it depends if that price per day also includes lunch ect.

The nursery my daughter was going to go to was the price per day and then had to add on lunch too.

Which will also affect it because they take an hour out for lunch and that doesn't come out of your government hours.
Not from previous experience anyway.
So if they're 10 hour days he's there, it would be 9 hours government and then we had to pay for lunch/lunch hour.

But it can differ nursery to nursery. So your best bet would be to ask them pm

Just basing it off you paying just £54.50 a day for the 466 hours you're over. If their days are 10 hours long.
Then it would be roughly 210 a month.

They can split the 30 hours over the full year for you though. Otherwise you'd be paying for the whole of August, for example, where it's not term time.

I don't know if that helps at all sorry haha

 

[hannah1799]

Just knowing other people are the same makes me feel a bit better.

Yes she is happy to play on her own most of the time, and she will have some chill out time in her room with her ipad or books. Im hoping when she starts school full time it will help more as her days at nursery aren’t as bad.

i keep reminding myself its all just a phase but honestly this has been the most horrendous phase so far.

I would rather do the early toddler 4am start of the day phase

I agree, my daughter is 4 next month and I’m on the countdown to school! She’s been the hardest she’s ever been since she was born. I didn’t find the ‘terrible twos’ no where near as hard. Only a few days ago I was on the phone to my mom sobbing because I’m finding it so hard! I feel like she is debating and arguing with me daily according to my mom who is a teacher says it’s really common that the parents of pre school kids are finding this age difficult and apparently it does help when they start school!

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

I’ve no advice really for the 4 year old tantrums. But I think they do get to a certain age when they are 100% ready for school and there’s not a lot else you can do but wait it out.
Does anyone else’s kids ( mainly boys) never stop eating !??? I can not fill my 3 year old up. I always joke if I had another baby and it was another boy I couldn’t afford to feed them both !

 

[Pinkii]

I agree, my daughter is 4 next month and I’m on the countdown to school! She’s been the hardest she’s ever been since she was born. I didn’t find the ‘terrible twos’ no where near as hard. Only a few days ago I was on the phone to my mom sobbing because I’m finding it so hard! I feel like she is debating and arguing with me daily according to my mom who is a teacher says it’s really common that the parents of pre school kids are finding this age difficult and apparently it does help when they start school!

Don’t wish all this on anyone but such a relief to hear others are going through the same. It seems no one else around me is.

I called my husband crying the other day after a really bad bedtime, i honestly felt like i was having a panic/anxiety attack. My heart was pounding in my chest, my palms were sweaty and i just couldnt breath.

Thanks for everyone else responding. You have all made me feel better about my situation but also i feel sorry for everyone else

 

[OIM]

Another 4 year old whinger here too, let’s start a club

Another one here. You’ve all described my darling 4 year old. Every day is an emotional rollercoaster. This morning I found her quietly sobbing on the sofa- when I walked why she sadly responded ‘my arm won’t do what I want!’ She also frequently interrupts me putting rhe 17 month old to bed to tell me her daddy isn’t letting her do what she wants. She’s the queen of trying to play us off against each other and often succeeds!

 

[BettyCrockerr]

Hi guys me again!
We are off to Cyprus in 5 weeks, we'll be staying in a villa with a pool. My 2.5 year old has never been swimming/in a pool before, what would you guys suggest in terms of swim aids? One of those weighted vest thingies? Armbands? a pool noodle? I am clueless as to what is best.

I should add, one of the people we are going with is a swimming teacher, so I am hoping she might help us teach her to swim But she's just a family friend not a close one, so I don't want to be presumptuous! I also don't want to pack NOTHING.

Help!

Confidence vest and a set of arm bands both worn together will keep her upright in the water and in the proper position - we tried first with only the confidence vest and it made our kids tip forward slightly but with a pair of arm bands on with it it’s perfect and keeps them completely afloat with head/chest up out of the water

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Just need a rant really … was putting my son to bed. My other half comes in gets him all giddy! They were running round laughing , little one bouncing on the bed. I shouted at my OH & my son. He wouldn’t stop bouncing. Kicked OH out the room , managed to get son to calm down after 25 mins. He was so sweaty and giddy. Honestly I could have killed OH tonight. He was like mummy doesn’t want us having fun. I went ballistic saying you can’t get him wound up when I’m putting him to bed. I had to tell little one off he cried , I felt awful. He’s been soundly asleep for 40 mins. I have a strict bed time routine that I like to stick to!! So when he ruins it like that it makes me a bit angry

 

[jackieweaver’sauthority]

Honestly it drives me mad when my partner does this. I actually get really angry because I think it’s so unfair and disrespectful of my time. It’s unfair to the little ones too. Doesn’t help that she gets so excited she climbs all over me and I end up getting hurt and shouting at them both. If she didn’t get so upset without me I would make him do the bedtime.

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Honestly it drives me mad when my partner does this. I actually get really angry because I think it’s so unfair and disrespectful of my time. It’s unfair to the little ones too. Doesn’t help that she gets so excited she climbs all over me and I end up getting hurt and shouting at them both. If she didn’t get so upset without me I would make him do the bedtime.

Omg same here !!!! He must have crushed my head about 6 times. And I have really long hair so that got sat on. I know they were excited to see each other but god bed time is quiet time ! I say this alllll the time you’re right it is disrespectful. I said I feel like I have 2 kids right now !! I feel bad for shouting at my little one as it’s not his fault but it was the only wish to calm him down

 

[watermelon sugar]

Omg I’d go mad as well. I hate it as well cos it looks like you’re the strict parent and not the fun parent. Especially when your OH is like ‘mummy doesn’t like us having fun’ like I like having fun JUST NOT AT BEDTIME!!!!! bedtime is hard work enough without toddler getting all hyped up

 

[strawberrysunshine_x]

Omg I’d go mad as well. I hate it as well cos it looks like you’re the strict parent and not the fun parent. Especially when your OH is like ‘mummy doesn’t like us having fun’ like I like having fun JUST NOT AT BEDTIME!!!!! bedtime is hard work enough without toddler getting all hyped up

It is!!! I’ve cracked it with my little one tho. It used to be such a challenge to get him asleep , I used to feel like ripping my hair out. but now he doesn’t have a nap I’ve got such a good routine where he’s asleep between 630-730 every night and we have a nice calming routine as well which he seems to enjoy. Then he comes along and gets him all giddy