Toddler advice thread

strawberrysunshine_x · May 1, 2022

al255 said:
Thanks all, I’ve just dropped her off at her Dads and she was SCREAMING and crying, wouldn’t let me go and saying she didn’t want to go when you’re unwell all you want is your mummy but sadly I need a break and a good sleep! She will be fine once she’s settled down

I’m defo going to get some of that liquid it was on my radar but sadly just forgot about it. It’ll be Tuesday now though as bank hol nowhere it open in my little town. Thanks all for the advice and I’m glad it’s not just me who has to resort to drastic measures to give my toddler calpol

I also text her dad a long “what to do” paragraph with doses for calpol etc so he has it wrote down as I’ve given her ibuprofen this morning so he knows. (It’s also changed for calpol since she’s turned 2) .. Really hope she sleeps well tonight, poor soul needs it, only positive is she sleeps really well at his house at night so fingers crossed x

A change of scenery might do her some good as well. Try and enjoy your break

al255 · May 1, 2022

Thank you, he FaceTimed me and she was in a right mood, just fake whiny crying so I calmed her down and then his nan and mum went round and she seemed in a better mood. Probs sick of his tit just like I am

Anyway I can enjoy my day now I know she’s ok. All she was saying was momma

I knew she would snap out of it eventually x

Justwannaseescreenshots · May 1, 2022

al255 said:
Owwwww I’m sorry your little boy is going though this again. I hope he’s ok soon I broke down last night, I felt like THE worst mum in the world, I literally used force to pin her down so she couldn’t wriggle her arms out to grab the calpol sringe out of my hands cos i couldn’t just leave her with a temp. What can you do! I just cried and led next to her and just stroked her head I want to take all her pain away but sadly can’t.

Also meant to be going out for bottomless brunch for my birthday today (it was on Monday) but I feel like complete mum guilt urghh

Don’t beat yourself up about pinning down, I have to lie my 2.5yr old son down between my legs with my legs over his arms to brush his teeth every day! Lol he’s so used to it now it’s like a game we play where he runs away and wants me to catch him.
But he is the same as your daughter in that he will not take any medicine so I can’t pin him down in that case he will vomit it all up and just gag even if it taste nice!!! But if you are able to get the medicine into her again I would recommend nurofen for the pain, it’s definitely better than calpol.

Luckily my son has all his teeth through now and I don’t really remember it being hugely painful for him so I don’t have much advice other than the nurofen and we have a dummy so that always helped or those things you can chew, they’re called “chewz” on Amazon - they’re great to bite all the tension away. Good luck x

ETA - sorry just read that you gave ibuprofen. Well you’ve done all you can so fingers crossed she’s not as back when she comes back home and her dad copes well with her too! X

al255 · May 1, 2022

Justwannaseescreenshots said:
Don’t beat yourself up about pinning down, I have to lie my 2.5yr old son down between my legs with my legs over his arms to brush his teeth every day! Lol he’s so used to it now it’s like a game we play where he runs away and wants me to catch him.
But he is the same as your daughter in that he will not take any medicine so I can’t pin him down in that case he will vomit it all up and just gag even if it taste nice!!! But if you are able to get the medicine into her again I would recommend nurofen for the pain, it’s definitely better than calpol.

Luckily my son has all his teeth through now and I don’t really remember it being hugely painful for him so I don’t have much advice other than the nurofen and we have a dummy so that always helped or those things you can chew, they’re called “chewz” on Amazon - they’re great to bite all the tension away. Good luck x

ETA - sorry just read that you gave ibuprofen. Well you’ve done all you can so fingers crossed she’s not as back when she comes back home and her dad copes well with her too! X

Oh my god! This is me to a T with her too

she runs off and I also have to pin her down to clean her teeth!!!! Bloody toddlers!

I hope so, the last week has been hard! Although the bad days/weeks are few and far between generally she sleeps well etc no problems

How come nurofen is better than calpol? I just always give calpol for pain x

strawberrysunshine_x · May 1, 2022

al255 said:
Thank you, he FaceTimed me and she was in a right mood, just fake whiny crying so I calmed her down and then his nan and mum went round and she seemed in a better mood. Probs sick of his tit just like I am Anyway I can enjoy my day now I know she’s ok. All she was saying was momma I knew she would snap out of it eventually x

They’re always worse for us mums don’t you think? always a lot more softer and know how to pull on the heartstrings. But I say To my partner our son can’t have me all the time as I’m not here 24/7 we are allowed to have lives

she’ll be fine I’m sure

Kim Mild · May 1, 2022

al255 said:
Oh my god! This is me to a T with her too she runs off and I also have to pin her down to clean her teeth!!!! Bloody toddlers! I hope so, the last week has been hard! Although the bad days/weeks are few and far between generally she sleeps well etc no problems

How come nurofen is better than calpol? I just always give calpol for pain x

Ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory.

My 2 year old is going through a hating teeth cleaned phase too.

BettyCrockerr · May 1, 2022

al255 said:
Oh my god! This is me to a T with her too she runs off and I also have to pin her down to clean her teeth!!!! Bloody toddlers! I hope so, the last week has been hard! Although the bad days/weeks are few and far between generally she sleeps well etc no problems

How come nurofen is better than calpol? I just always give calpol for pain x

Ibuprofen is an anti inflammatory- so it will reduce the inflammation in the body and will reduce pain. Paracetamol will only reduce pain.

Justwannaseescreenshots · May 1, 2022

al255 said:
Oh my god! This is me to a T with her too she runs off and I also have to pin her down to clean her teeth!!!! Bloody toddlers! I hope so, the last week has been hard! Although the bad days/weeks are few and far between generally she sleeps well etc no problems

How come nurofen is better than calpol? I just always give calpol for pain x

We’re great with sleep here too. My kids are fast asleep now 6-6 so having that evening downtime is so crucial in me being able to go be a happy hood parent!

Nurofen is an anti inflammatory so if the gums are throbbing it will calm them down and calpol is mainly given to lower temp. You can also give them intravenously if you she was really in a lot of pain for a long time.

al255 · May 1, 2022

Justwannaseescreenshots said:
We’re great with sleep here too. My kids are fast asleep now 6-6 so having that evening downtime is so crucial in me being able to go be a happy hood parent!

Nurofen is an anti inflammatory so if the gums are throbbing it will calm them down and calpol is mainly given to lower temp. You can also give them intravenously if you she was really in a lot of pain for a long time.

Thank you for your reply - first time Mum and learning daily

x

JulesC · May 3, 2022

Does anyone have a toddler who is not a great sleeper and work full time?

I have a good job which I enjoy (most of the time) and a fairly senior position. I also have a 2.5 yr old who likes middle of the night parties for up to 3 hours

she’s better now than she was but when she’s ill, her sleep goes to pot again. I feel like she’s ill every couple of weeks at the moment so I’m permanently exhausted. We’ve just been on holiday for a week but holidays with a toddler just aren’t relaxing and she had a couple of nights where she was up for a few hours in the middle of the night. I’ve come back to work today and ended up breaking into tears this afternoon because of course loads of stuff has built up while I was off and I’m just too busy at the minute anyway. Just wondering how people cope? I’m looking at stress resources we have at work and the top thing it says to deal with stress is get enough sleep but that’s just not an option for me at the moment so what do I do? I think I’m realising you can’t have it all and it makes me sad as I really value my career and want to do well for me and also to show my little girl that women can do well too. Anyway I’m rambling now but I just feel a bit lost. My manager at work is crap too and he’s fairly new so I don’t know him well enough to open up about this properly. I have a supportive partner and he does a lot with our daughter and round the house but she is super clingy to me at the moment and generally wants me if she is ill.

Would be nice to hear whether anyone else has been or is going through this I suppose.

honey&lemon · May 3, 2022

JulesC said:
Does anyone have a toddler who is not a great sleeper and work full time?

I have a good job which I enjoy (most of the time) and a fairly senior position. I also have a 2.5 yr old who likes middle of the night parties for up to 3 hours she’s better now than she was but when she’s ill, her sleep goes to pot again. I feel like she’s ill every couple of weeks at the moment so I’m permanently exhausted. We’ve just been on holiday for a week but holidays with a toddler just aren’t relaxing and she had a couple of nights where she was up for a few hours in the middle of the night. I’ve come back to work today and ended up breaking into tears this afternoon because of course loads of stuff has built up while I was off and I’m just too busy at the minute anyway. Just wondering how people cope? I’m looking at stress resources we have at work and the top thing it says to deal with stress is get enough sleep but that’s just not an option for me at the moment so what do I do? I think I’m realising you can’t have it all and it makes me sad as I really value my career and want to do well for me and also to show my little girl that women can do well too. Anyway I’m rambling now but I just feel a bit lost. My manager at work is crap too and he’s fairly new so I don’t know him well enough to open up about this properly. I have a supportive partner and he does a lot with our daughter and round the house but she is super clingy to me at the moment and generally wants me if she is ill.

Would be nice to hear whether anyone else has been or is going through this I suppose.

I could have written this myself so sending solidarity your way. I’ve just been promoted too so really don’t ever want to make excuses an feel the pressure to prove I can do it all but I feel so tired all the time at the minute and there is just zero down time. My toddler goes through phases too where it feels like she’s sick every few days with something else and it’s exhausting.

It can be really frustrating reading stress advice, it’s never written for people with young children is it? It’s always make sure you sleep, get time to yourself, eat well, read etc all of which feels impossible.

I don’t have much advice but wanted you to know you’re not alone. They used to say it’s take a village to raise a child and I think it was true. It’s hard to admit as modern women but honestly it’s difficult to raise children with no help and hold down a demanding full time job. We shouldn’t have to choose

Definitelyme · May 3, 2022

JulesC said:
Does anyone have a toddler who is not a great sleeper and work full time?

I have a good job which I enjoy (most of the time) and a fairly senior position. I also have a 2.5 yr old who likes middle of the night parties for up to 3 hours she’s better now than she was but when she’s ill, her sleep goes to pot again. I feel like she’s ill every couple of weeks at the moment so I’m permanently exhausted. We’ve just been on holiday for a week but holidays with a toddler just aren’t relaxing and she had a couple of nights where she was up for a few hours in the middle of the night. I’ve come back to work today and ended up breaking into tears this afternoon because of course loads of stuff has built up while I was off and I’m just too busy at the minute anyway. Just wondering how people cope? I’m looking at stress resources we have at work and the top thing it says to deal with stress is get enough sleep but that’s just not an option for me at the moment so what do I do? I think I’m realising you can’t have it all and it makes me sad as I really value my career and want to do well for me and also to show my little girl that women can do well too. Anyway I’m rambling now but I just feel a bit lost. My manager at work is crap too and he’s fairly new so I don’t know him well enough to open up about this properly. I have a supportive partner and he does a lot with our daughter and round the house but she is super clingy to me at the moment and generally wants me if she is ill.

Would be nice to hear whether anyone else has been or is going through this I suppose.

It was many years ago now, as I no Longer work full time, but I’ve been there. Working full time and still up many times during the night, and then with my second up for longer stints as you have described. My job (teacher) is one I enjoy, but I’m lucky to have been able to step back while the kids are young which I know isn’t possible for everyone.

If your partner is willing to share nights you could trade off every other one. I know you’ve said she is clingy to you, but in my experience when our toddlers have transitioned to dad doing bedtime and night wake ups (because a new sibling is coming) it’s been much smoother than you could imagine, never had any big issues with it, and they’ve all accepted from then either dad or I doing bed/night time. All 3 have been around 2.5 when we’ve made that transition.

Does she still nap?

JulesC · May 3, 2022

Definitelyme said:
It was many years ago now, as I no Longer work full time, but I’ve been there. Working full time and still up many times during the night, and then with my second up for longer stints as you have described. My job (teacher) is one I enjoy, but I’m lucky to have been able to step back while the kids are young which I know isn’t possible for everyone.

If your partner is willing to share nights you could trade off every other one. I know you’ve said she is clingy to you, but in my experience when our toddlers have transitioned to dad doing bedtime and night wake ups (because a new sibling is coming) it’s been much smoother than you could imagine, never had any big issues with it, and they’ve all accepted from then either dad or I doing bed/night time. All 3 have been around 2.5 when we’ve made that transition.

Does she still nap?

My partner does help but if I’m on the house, she won’t go to sleep for him! So he’ll get up and sit with her but he has to wake me up to actually get her back to sleep. I haven’t got pregnant again (another story) so we’ve not had to force the issue. Problem is I will always wake up if she cries in the night whereas he can sleep through so I’m disturbed whatever.

She does have a nap still, one hour around lunchtime. We’ve tried to keep her awake on weekends and things but she can’t quite get through the day without a nap yet and she does seem to sleep better at night if she has her nap.

Blair-Waldorf · May 3, 2022

@JulesC I just wanted to echo what @honey&lemon said - you are definitely not on your own, I could also have written that post myself. My daughters sleep is improving now we’ve stopped lying with her of a night to get her to sleep but she rarely sleeps right through - we’re up at least once. She is always up at 6am too without fail, even if say we are out a bit later (rarely). She’s always in bed for 7/730. I’m tired all the time. I’m also expecting another baby and I’m suffering terribly with hyperemesis. I was promoted just before I got pregnant and all I do is worry about work, I’m not doing my best (even though I try), I feel as though I’m letting my manager down. It’s never ending. Sending you love and this won’t last forever x
ETA it doesn’t half piss me off the advice everyone gives - sleep, exercise, enjoy time to yourself - ermmm WHEN? And where do we get the energy from?!

Emsie · May 3, 2022

JulesC said:
Does anyone have a toddler who is not a great sleeper and work full time?

I have a good job which I enjoy (most of the time) and a fairly senior position. I also have a 2.5 yr old who likes middle of the night parties for up to 3 hours she’s better now than she was but when she’s ill, her sleep goes to pot again. I feel like she’s ill every couple of weeks at the moment so I’m permanently exhausted. We’ve just been on holiday for a week but holidays with a toddler just aren’t relaxing and she had a couple of nights where she was up for a few hours in the middle of the night. I’ve come back to work today and ended up breaking into tears this afternoon because of course loads of stuff has built up while I was off and I’m just too busy at the minute anyway. Just wondering how people cope? I’m looking at stress resources we have at work and the top thing it says to deal with stress is get enough sleep but that’s just not an option for me at the moment so what do I do? I think I’m realising you can’t have it all and it makes me sad as I really value my career and want to do well for me and also to show my little girl that women can do well too. Anyway I’m rambling now but I just feel a bit lost. My manager at work is crap too and he’s fairly new so I don’t know him well enough to open up about this properly. I have a supportive partner and he does a lot with our daughter and round the house but she is super clingy to me at the moment and generally wants me if she is ill.

Would be nice to hear whether anyone else has been or is going through this I suppose.

I feel you! The only thing that worked for me was dropping hours. I work 30 hours over 3 days now, it's horrible, I miss work, I feel out of the loop all the time, I feel like I'm constantly rushing my work... but I am more relaxed at home.
What I will say is if your toddlers behaviour is new, it is probably a phase and they do eventually pass. Sending you speedy phase passing vibes.

JulesC · May 3, 2022

@honey&lemon @Blair-Waldorf and @Emsie thank you for the solidarity! The advice to cope with stress really isn’t made for people with young kids!! I used to do a lot of yoga to deal with work stress but I just don’t have the time, energy or motivation for it now. I am trying to go to the odd class but I just can’t get into it properly. I honestly feel like I need a week alone to literally sleep, eat healthy and do some exercise but obviously pigs will fly before that happens

Speaking of eating healthily, I know I always feel better when I do but I find that so difficult with the lack of sleep (up at 4am? Toast. Always toast.) and not having much time to cook etc. I’m not the most organised person anyway but just feel so behind on everything like cooking, cleaning and even seeing friends. I do feel like all I do is work and look after my daughter at the moment, I know it’ll pass and I’ll miss her being small but it is so exhausting.

@Blair-Waldorf must be even tougher being pregnant as well. Sending love and positive vibes your way too

honey&lemon · May 3, 2022

JulesC said:
@honey&lemon @Blair-Waldorf and @Emsie thank you for the solidarity! The advice to cope with stress really isn’t made for people with young kids!! I used to do a lot of yoga to deal with work stress but I just don’t have the time, energy or motivation for it now. I am trying to go to the odd class but I just can’t get into it properly. I honestly feel like I need a week alone to literally sleep, eat healthy and do some exercise but obviously pigs will fly before that happens

Speaking of eating healthily, I know I always feel better when I do but I find that so difficult with the lack of sleep (up at 4am? Toast. Always toast.) and not having much time to cook etc. I’m not the most organised person anyway but just feel so behind on everything like cooking, cleaning and even seeing friends. I do feel like all I do is work and look after my daughter at the moment, I know it’ll pass and I’ll miss her being small but it is so exhausting.

@Blair-Waldorf must be even tougher being pregnant as well. Sending love and positive vibes your way too

On the eating front, I definitely agree when I eat better I feel more able to cope. Invest in a slow cooker, I know we’re coming into the warmer weather but there are some nice pasta dishes and things that can be done in them. I’ve found that makes a difference when there’s a nice dinner ready if nothing else x

JulesC · May 3, 2022

honey&lemon said:
On the eating front, I definitely agree when I eat better I feel more able to cope. Invest in a slow cooker, I know we’re coming into the warmer weather but there are some nice pasta dishes and things that can be done in them. I’ve found that makes a difference when there’s a nice dinner ready if nothing else x

I do have a slow cooker actually but only really do scouse in it over Winter. I’ll have to find some good recipes, are there any websites etc that you’d recommend for recipes? x

Blair-Waldorf · May 3, 2022

are you a fellow scouser @JulesC

i find I’m using my air fryer more lately for quick tea’s it’s easier and quicker than the oven

I’d search slow cooker and air fryer on tiktok there’s thousands of recipes on there

Emsie · May 3, 2022

JulesC said:
I do have a slow cooker actually but only really do scouse in it over Winter. I’ll have to find some good recipes, are there any websites etc that you’d recommend for recipes? x

There is a slow cooking group on Facebook with goof easy recipes, pasta bake, lasagne, lamb kebabs etc. It does make a difference.
I do try and batch cook when using the slow cooker so there is always a spare meal in the freezer I just have to remember to take it out.
If funds allow get some home help. I have someone to do my ironing and she's worth every penny! I'll starve before I give her up

Do your friends have kids the same age? My best friend does and it's easier to see her under the guise of a play date. Even if we sit in soft play for an hour I get coffee, cake a catch up x
Eta the group on Facebook is "slow cooking uk"