Help! Does anyone have any advice for what to do when your toddler's sleep goes to pot but you have a baby too?
Background - my two year old (nearly 3) has been sleeping well in his cot in his own room for ages. Kept him in a cotbed as he's super happy in it and doesn't climb.
Had another baby before Christmas who's in our room in a next to me but often ends up bedsharing in the night.
Husband is a bit of a twit - not very supportive and has been having a lot of nights out/ weekends away which has put the toddler in a tailspin. Couple this with my husband not being able to put any boundaries on our toddler or act like a parent, so when he's around its like they're playmates and my son bosses him around.
Husband has been sleeping in a spare room for a while - gets disturbed by baby and because he's been going out a lot and smoking I haven't really wanted him in our room either.
Problem is now my toddler yells for dad every night and instead of staying in his room and supporting him to sleep he just scoops toddler up and puts him in bed with him.
Cue last night - dad went to see Tyson fury at wembley and didn't return until Sunday dinnertime. Saturday night was a nightmare and I had to out toddler in with me as he was having a blue arsed fit, he then didn't sleep, kicked all night long, woke the baby and we were up for the day at 5am. Sunday night Toddler goes to bed ok but woke at 11 shouting for dad. Dad's too hungover and doesn't respond. I spent next two hours trying to settle him, backwards and forwards between him and new baby who was stirring too. Dad then swoops in and puts toddler in bed with him. So the two hours I spent on the floor was for nothing.
Wtaf can I do? My toddler's sleep was so good and this is so frustrating.
Problem is my husband is soon going to get sick of bedsharing and my toddler is getting crap sleep too, I could hear him talking constantly all night, then my husband is tired and pissy with him. More of a rant really but has anyone experienced this?
Hi, thanks for sharing this with us and I’m sorry you’re going through a
crappy time. You need to lay down the law with your husband - either he helps be a team and a parent, and be a family or you need to tell him to leave.
You sound like you’re doing a lot of it yourself so why would you need that added stress which I feel like your older child is playing on. Do yourself a favour. Forget your husband exists for the minute and tell your toddler his bed is for sleeping and that’s it. You must be tired and exhausted, sending hugs. Give your husband an ultimatum - he needs to help, support you like a husband should and if he doesn’t he can take his partying ways elsewhere. It’s disrupting your family life x
Edit: I’m a single mum and became one BY choice when my now 2.5 YO daughter was 1 year old in 2021. In fact it was 3 days before her first Christmas. You know what I’d had ENOUGH! My ex was being a right dick, going out wasting all our money, whilst I was putting as much of my own aside so we could get a mortgage and have a stable future for our daughter. In the end and several horrible arguements I decided enough was enough. I was mentally and physically drained, tied in with lockdowns and not really having a life- I decided him not being around me daily would be easier and got rid. He moved out and fast forward to now, I’ve got a mortgage, car, I’ve never been happier. I go away for 5 holidays a year with my daughter and I’m doing better than I ever did. DO NOT stand for
crappy behaviour that will effect your kids, you are better than that and you have to be a role model xxxxxx I never ever thought I’d get to this place in Jan 2021 and I did. Now he’s living with his parents again. I think I got the last laugh
I woke up twice thinking where is she 
) so it helps him know when it’s ok to get up as he is our earliest riser. We use it until they can easily tell time and then it gets passed down
definitely worth a try I think @Blair-Waldorf
