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Whenthelightsturntostars
VIP Member
Posting this again but this time as a thread title suggestion 
She lives in a house, not a very big farm, with a pantr y!
She lives in a house, not a very big farm, with a pantr y! 
Pumpkins1506
VIP Member
Mrs Hinch #559 not content with pulling the rug over the sheep's eyes, she's gone for the whole gifted carpet
Credit to our lovely @Pollyanna263 for the title.
Soph was up bright and early on Sunday pondering why an apple growing on the tree was so tiny. I say growing, she's clearly picked it, so it's growing no longer. Given that she probably thinks apples just magically appear in a supermarket pallet and are all the same size and shape, it'll blow her mind to know it's a type of apple that's supposed to be small.
Then it was time to clean the builders tea station. Why couldn't they save her a job and clean it themselves ey?
Then Braggy McBoastpants just had to lament the size of her "fairly small" downstairs bathroom. Which is bigger than a lot of people's family bathroom. She just couldn't help it.
The woolly wankers popped up eating their usual kilo of carrots. There was a pan -and-dip which has us questioning - is the hot tub being installed? What is she hiding?
Sunday evening was a treat. It looks as though the wheels are coming off, as a well-known Hunch Facebook group ran a thread about how unrelatable she is becoming. And it was full of agreement. Until the comments were turned off, as per. Uh oh Hunch, days are numbered!
Monday morning she was up and outside early (thanks Henry, apparently) to ponder yet more of life's big questions: where do these flowers come from overnight and why am I so overwhelmed by them?
Dunno Soph, ask your gardener.
More Braggy stories, this time a #gifted #ad carpet installation. But it wasn't the changing colour of the carpet between stories that had us talking. The spirit of the back passage made itself known in a spooky appearance over the asbestos lino tiles.
Maybe it was ghostly ectoplasm? Fiddle and Inch, you've been rumbled again.
They went out for lunch at 4:30pm. Only the pub stops serving food at 2 and shuts at 3. Lies lies lies.
Then she curled up on the sofa, watching reels of her own merch (that whole sentence put me into a depression). Where she stayed until 3am.
The next post was 99.9% fabricated and needs to be dealt with as a list.
1. Jamie fucked off and left her on the sofa until she woke up at 3am.
2. Ron needed to use the bathroom at 5:30am.
3. The postman arrived needing a signed for delivery
4. At some point between 2 and 3 Lon appeared downstairs and needed changing.
5. The heating came on. 12 days into July and 3 days into a heatwave.
6. Ron wiped shitty wipes all over the table.
7. Hunch discovered a pile of poo in the fireplace
8. Henry ate last night's kebab leftovers in the garden. Because Jamie hadn't put them in the bin securely.
9. She was still wearing last night's makeup. Except it was a filter.
In Soph world, shit and rotting kebabs strewn over the garden is apparently very relatable content and sure to get the sheep loving her again.
There were so many questions it would take forever to round up. But the two biggest takeaways: where tf was Jimbob during this chaos and did they really have a kebab for tea after a pub lunch?
Finally, following the Sophie Rose Script for Social Media Content Success, after a sob story comes an ad. Which rounded the last thread off nicely.
Side note: followers have been in the negatives two days in a row. Has the credit card been declined for bot purchases? We're following this with anticipation!
Sopha/Hunch/Slotha - Sophia aka Mrs Hinch
Jimbob/Inch/Janine - Jamie aka Mr Hinch
Fiddle/Fiddle fingers/Ma Barker - Sophs mum
Weeping Al/Gepetto - Sophs dad (who may be locked in the workshop building a dining table, 3 knocks to let us know you're okay Al)
Thread suggestions from page 30 and marked with "thread suggestion". No swears and short and sweet please!
Wiki is pink button at the top. Thread 500 is great, read it if you haven't or are new here. Or if you just want to remind yourself of what a deplorable human she is.
#mrshinchisover
Argh the title
Credit to our lovely @Pollyanna263 for the title.
Soph was up bright and early on Sunday pondering why an apple growing on the tree was so tiny. I say growing, she's clearly picked it, so it's growing no longer. Given that she probably thinks apples just magically appear in a supermarket pallet and are all the same size and shape, it'll blow her mind to know it's a type of apple that's supposed to be small.
Then it was time to clean the builders tea station. Why couldn't they save her a job and clean it themselves ey?
Then Braggy McBoastpants just had to lament the size of her "fairly small" downstairs bathroom. Which is bigger than a lot of people's family bathroom. She just couldn't help it.
The woolly wankers popped up eating their usual kilo of carrots. There was a pan -and-dip which has us questioning - is the hot tub being installed? What is she hiding?
Sunday evening was a treat. It looks as though the wheels are coming off, as a well-known Hunch Facebook group ran a thread about how unrelatable she is becoming. And it was full of agreement. Until the comments were turned off, as per. Uh oh Hunch, days are numbered!
Monday morning she was up and outside early (thanks Henry, apparently) to ponder yet more of life's big questions: where do these flowers come from overnight and why am I so overwhelmed by them?
Dunno Soph, ask your gardener.
More Braggy stories, this time a #gifted #ad carpet installation. But it wasn't the changing colour of the carpet between stories that had us talking. The spirit of the back passage made itself known in a spooky appearance over the asbestos lino tiles.
Maybe it was ghostly ectoplasm? Fiddle and Inch, you've been rumbled again.
They went out for lunch at 4:30pm. Only the pub stops serving food at 2 and shuts at 3. Lies lies lies.
Then she curled up on the sofa, watching reels of her own merch (that whole sentence put me into a depression). Where she stayed until 3am.
The next post was 99.9% fabricated and needs to be dealt with as a list.
1. Jamie fucked off and left her on the sofa until she woke up at 3am.
2. Ron needed to use the bathroom at 5:30am.
3. The postman arrived needing a signed for delivery
4. At some point between 2 and 3 Lon appeared downstairs and needed changing.
5. The heating came on. 12 days into July and 3 days into a heatwave.
6. Ron wiped shitty wipes all over the table.
7. Hunch discovered a pile of poo in the fireplace
8. Henry ate last night's kebab leftovers in the garden. Because Jamie hadn't put them in the bin securely.
9. She was still wearing last night's makeup. Except it was a filter.
In Soph world, shit and rotting kebabs strewn over the garden is apparently very relatable content and sure to get the sheep loving her again.
There were so many questions it would take forever to round up. But the two biggest takeaways: where tf was Jimbob during this chaos and did they really have a kebab for tea after a pub lunch?
Finally, following the Sophie Rose Script for Social Media Content Success, after a sob story comes an ad. Which rounded the last thread off nicely.
Side note: followers have been in the negatives two days in a row. Has the credit card been declined for bot purchases? We're following this with anticipation!
Sopha/Hunch/Slotha - Sophia aka Mrs Hinch
Jimbob/Inch/Janine - Jamie aka Mr Hinch
Fiddle/Fiddle fingers/Ma Barker - Sophs mum
Weeping Al/Gepetto - Sophs dad (who may be locked in the workshop building a dining table, 3 knocks to let us know you're okay Al)
Thread suggestions from page 30 and marked with "thread suggestion". No swears and short and sweet please!
Wiki is pink button at the top. Thread 500 is great, read it if you haven't or are new here. Or if you just want to remind yourself of what a deplorable human she is.
#mrshinchisover
Argh the title
Attachments
CheesyMarmite
VIP Member
I'm so confused by the decor in this house! All it looks like is some weird fusion of industrial, modern, medieval torture chamber and tend cuntry chic....I just don't get it guyyyssschh!
Andioooop
VIP Member
Made by Alan of coursch. Inspired by the spoilt brat herself, dull, boring & on track to being forgotten. All the bestA real life Hinch train! Woooooo Wooo!! Hinch, Splinter and Fiddles waving her pink purse, the alpacas, Henz and his kebabz....
Calling @Andioooop
Whenthelightsturntostars
VIP Member
To change his nappy but then he did a shizz (and a wee, she adds later) on the fireplace?!The part I’m struggling with is why did she get Lennie up at 5:30?
1. She woke up at 3 and was fewmin Splinter left her sleeping on the sofa. Splinter is still in the dog
2. 5.20am. She goes downstairs. She was in the middle of putting Rennie on the toilet so didn't have time to put a nappy back on Lonnie.
I assume Lonnie woke up just before 5.20am and needed his nappy changed?
Was Lonnie upstairs?
Was Rennie downstairs?
Who knows but they all appeared downstairs despite the fact they have a toilet and changing station upstairs. And, as Lon was apparently already awake and had no nappy on, Rennie wouldn't have disturbed him if he was the toilet upstairs.
Anyway, everyone was awake and downstairs at 5.20am, and Lonnie took a shiz next to the fireplace.
3. The heating decided to come on this morning. Europe is in the middle of a heatwave, gas prices are through the roof but this one house in Maldon has the heating blasting at or around 5.20am in the morning.
We have to assume the heating came on around the same time everyone was
because she was cleaning shiz and pee. To make an even more unbelieve story unbelievable, a delivery van rocks up to this house and - despite every other company not requiring a signature or for someone to open the door due to covid restrictions - this one driver asks for a signature.
4. Hunch goes off to sign for this delivery. Rennie toddles over to wipes covered in shiz and starts to clean the coffee table we haven't seen in her stories in weeks.
5. Henners, who has his own bedroom, muat have been released while Lonnie had no nappy on and Rennie was using the bathroom downstairs. He proceeded to eat last night's kebab that wasn't "securely" put in the bin. We "secure" our bin by closing the lid. Did Splinter just leave the lid open? Did he leave a kebab sitting on the plastic grass? Did the massive dog jump up, open the lid and take out the leftovers?
Regarding the carpets, I heard from someone who works for carpet right at the weekend that she wanted all free carpets throughout and to be paid £5k for the privilege. He said they had told her where to go.. so not sure what the deal ended up being with her latest carpet, but definitely #gifted.
Whenthelightsturntostars
VIP Member
She lives in a house, not a very big farm, with a pantr y! 
maggisojuicy
VIP Member
So she's hidden treats around the house then filmed the obese dog finding them. Riveting.
☆MagicRoundabout☆
VIP Member
Happy Teeny Peeny Thursday Guyyssch!
(A few crap Lyrics to the Tune of In the Navy)
Ahoy! Oi Oi!
In the PANTR Y
There is no room to walk around
In the PANTR Y
There are Mugshots to be found
In the PANTR Y
There are barrskitts everywhere
In the PANTR Y,
In the PANTR Y
(CLAPPING)
We want you, We want you
We want your freebies
And we won't faank you!
(A few crap Lyrics to the Tune of In the Navy)
Ahoy! Oi Oi!
In the PANTR Y
There is no room to walk around
In the PANTR Y
There are Mugshots to be found
In the PANTR Y
There are barrskitts everywhere
In the PANTR Y,
In the PANTR Y
(CLAPPING)
We want you, We want you
We want your freebies
And we won't faank you!
sarahcooper78
New member
so I used to like Hinch but I’ve completely gone off her now she’s just so unrelatable and my eyes are definitely open!! When she put about her “fairly small” downstairs toilet but it’s bigger than most peoples bathrooms. She’s completely lost a sense of reality. Her posts are so predictable now when she started cleaning after her “disaster of a morning” I couldn’t believe how clear it was and how I’ve missed it for so longBrilliant recap
eyeswildopen
Well-known member
This one has just been posted on the B&M comments…
Attachments
Upyourshinch
Chatty Member
That'll teach you nusty label lady to not invite me to the hen do
HinchesSousChef
VIP Member
I’m still thinking about that B&M meeting. They laid on a car, wined and dined her. This is definitely forming a new “official” partnership. I’m guessing she had an association with home bargains (paid) but either they weren’t offering her enough (greedy) or they didn’t want her. Annoyingly I’m going to go for the former.
We know she’s had a shift in her team at gleam from when she started following some new people from there. We know a few months back they were wining and dining her.
We also have tea that it’s over with Tessscoo. Well she’s already gone Back to “I shop at Morrisons” so it’s becoming quite likely that that tea was true.
Unfortunately I believe this is only the start of a new batch of relationships that will be even more insufferable than her tessshhhco range.
I believe the lack of cleaning has been because of a change in her role with P&G. I’ve said that for a while now. I believe they are going to launch hinch cleaning products - it’ll just be bloody fragranced water - with an “eco angle” but it won’t actually be that eco. These products will launch exclusively with b&m alongside some mediocre cloffffs etc.
I await my bingo.
We know she’s had a shift in her team at gleam from when she started following some new people from there. We know a few months back they were wining and dining her.
We also have tea that it’s over with Tessscoo. Well she’s already gone Back to “I shop at Morrisons” so it’s becoming quite likely that that tea was true.
Unfortunately I believe this is only the start of a new batch of relationships that will be even more insufferable than her tessshhhco range.
I believe the lack of cleaning has been because of a change in her role with P&G. I’ve said that for a while now. I believe they are going to launch hinch cleaning products - it’ll just be bloody fragranced water - with an “eco angle” but it won’t actually be that eco. These products will launch exclusively with b&m alongside some mediocre cloffffs etc.
I await my bingo.
Pollyanna263
VIP Member
That dog has no boundaries.
I’m a dog person. That’s no secret. I have a spaniel. Most days she’s my favourite child. But most of those things Henry was doing? She’d be told firmly no.
In fact she wouldn’t bloody do them in the first place because she knows not to!
I’m a dog person. That’s no secret. I have a spaniel. Most days she’s my favourite child. But most of those things Henry was doing? She’d be told firmly no.
In fact she wouldn’t bloody do them in the first place because she knows not to!