Lily Pebbles #47 A slime trail of lame 🐌

[TheBabeWithThePower]

Hey I'm Shilly.

I'm 36 and married with two kids. I found the first person with a penis and a pulse on my first day at uni and clung to them for fear of the horror of being alone.

I am unimaginative and nowhere on earth could contend with London, you plebs.

I fell into a lucrative "career" at a time when all you needed to be was thin and white to be successful.

My last and only achievement was getting a degree so I'll roll out this fact forever more despite the fact it happened 15 years ago. I am a pioneer of my industry which consists of grabbing freebies and having no morals.

My party trick is doing something wildly uninteresting with my face. My son can also do it and that's reason #35786 why I like him more than I like HER.

Don't be mean to me or I'll have a wobble and need another two weeks holiday.

In 2023 I had too much time on my hands so filled it with copying others creativity and patting myself on the back.

My goal for this year is to drain even more of your money, sanity and lifeblood.

 

[Eileen_2019]

"Just walking back to the hotel, crossing the river which is just so lovely that it runs through the city... I love, I was just saying that, I love how there's so many old buildings... I think, like, coming from the UK and London, I am so used to seeing so many, like, old buildings, but I travel and there isn't that kind of history and culture, and it always, like, surprises me, so it's nice being somewhere, it feels quite homely... It doesn't feel too different, like, to see all these, like, old buildings everywhere, I love it......"

Nope, no old buildings or indeed culture anywhere in the world except for London and Berlin.

 

[jazzmonster]

Her musings on comparisons between London and Berlin in her latest video are quite something. She concludes that the two cities are very much alike because they both have old buildings, and also that Berlin is the only place outside London where she ever found old buildings.

 

[Foxyrin]

Guys, guys, this is hilarious. I have a really expensive piece of exercise equipment that lots of you would love but can't afford. I only used it once last year. So funny!

 

[viggle]

You’re literally in the hairdresser’s, Lily! FFS, just ask the professional for tips!

 

[Sabbie]

Who still talks about getting a first an uni years after. 🫠

 

[Eileen_2019]

Exactly, people drop their kids off and then go to work, do some food shopping, take care of elderly family members, walk the dog, go for a work out, do whatever... but Lily treats it like an event that she needs to get dressed up for, and that she is stressing about. She needs to create the 'ultimate school run experience' with the perfect coat, shoes, bag, and now travel mug. It's beyond ridiculous how much she is overthinking it. It really shows how little else she has going on in her life.

 

[TravellingPants]

“I’m better at being the interviewee than the interviewer”

Translation: I only really like talking about myself

 

[TheBabeWithThePower]

I’ve just watched her Berlin vlog. She seems amazed to find that there is a river running through it. She lives in London…

Also does she not realise that the majority of cities have been established near water either for transportation, drinking water or both…?

I can state with utter confidence that she does not realise this.

 

[janedowe]

What the *actual fuck* is this? I’m personally offended.

(Also, at least polish the ugly scuffed shoe, her lazy unkemptness knows no bounds).

 

[friedeggontoast]

I’m going to email my boss and ask them to give my work a thumbs up and share it with their friends because it’ll really motivate me.

 

[ellwood]

Did she have a fake birthday party so she could make some ‘content’ with those silver tinsel strips?? There’s no evidence of anyone else being there, just the same photo of her pretending to have fun in front of a backdrop??

 

[Sibyl Vane]

I would pay money to see her weekly logistics board

Pretty sure it's accurate.

 

[Orange2green]

it's either "don't be a dick" or some generic french phase because lily is sooo creative

Don't be a... Dique

 

[OrangeDuvet]

 

[peppin]

"excuse me in my comfies" when her outfit looks exactly the same as what she always wears, baggy school uniform grey

"excuse me in my comfies" and it's an outfit she would wear to a black tie event

 

[wagner1985]

That set of stories was like Lily Pebbles bingo.

Drink if she brags about being a true Londoner (bonus point if she mentions a toilet).
Drink if she complains about her kids.
Drink if she calls something ‘genius’ or ‘so clever’.
Drink if she eats sushi.
Drink if she asks her followers an absolutely pointless question (usually about food).
Drink if she goes to Covent Garden or Kings Cross.
Drink if she buys herself some awful oversized grey or beige sack.
Drink if she presents an idea to us that is well known concept as a brand new thing nobody will have heard of (in this instance, secret Santa).
Drink if she complains about being ill or having a sore back.

I could go on.

 

[consumerism makes u free]

Sorry not sorry this is the most heinous grazing table I've ever seen. Those avocados look like they want to die, like worst social obligation of their lives. Omg I hate everything about this fucking table. I can taste the shitty dry "office perk" bagel through the screen. BLUE FOOD IS ALMOST ALWAYS A BAD IDEA.

 

[consumerism makes u free]

Is she now hinting at having been suicidal this time last year....?

Yeah I could have done without that whole thing. "Guys last year I was the unhappiest ever waking up with tears in my eyes and I didn't know how I was gonna get out of it. Well it's a year later and I'm doing really quite fine SO I JUST WANTED TO POP ON HERE AND TELL YOU IF YOU'RE IN A DARK PLACE ALL WILL BE FINE THIS TIME NEXT YEAR AND YOU'LL WONDER WHAT YOU WERE EVEN ON ABOUT."

Fantastic. Message received. Simpleton Guide to Managing Subclinical Mental Illness by Lily Dumbdumb Troubles.

 

[Orange2green]

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS THIS OUTFIT

Did Emily Gilmore fuck Elf and lily was born?!

I cannot understand who on earth is loving this outfit. It's horrific. DID SHE GET DRESSED IN THE DARK?!