Maybe you could get people to pay to attend training courses on how to snooze on your setteeI know it's all bollocks but bear with me...
Why does she need to practise sleeping on a settee? What will happen if she just goes in cold? Will she fall off? Slip down the cushions, smol pixie style? Accidentally sleep on the mantle piece?
I had a snooze on my settee earlier, it was easy! Is this a talent I can monetise?
Snowy C, Edinburgh Frau here. Hopefully she'll bypass us.She better come no where near my Country. She’ll leave her lingering honk again. Edinburgh is just starting to smell decent again
I was just about to say this. For someone who can’t lie, she’s fucking good at lying.You claimed furlough you fuckerrrrrr
https://giphy.com/10fTHeZVQug7hC
Tea bag?
Done dear heartLads - since we are early in the thread I am finally in real-time (and we appear to be inter-chaoi) I thought I'd just give new frauen and herren a quick update on the wiki - we always say to read it at the beginning of each thread but actually it's now quite large, and it has grown organically, so it's not in the best possible order...
Anyway - here are some tips if you want some light bedtime reading:
- Start on wiki 1 - Jack for Dummies (first section) + read thread 31
- Wiki 2 has two really great sections to remind you of events from the beginning of the poverty - 'notable blogs' and 'notable events / chaoi' since 2012 - eminently penned by @witchofwestbyfleet
2022 was the first year that we properly documented the chaoi in real-time (although obvs we have receipts from previous years) - it starts on wiki 1 and got too long, so concludes on wiki 2. It's well worth a read as it's now in chronological order for the whole year.
It turns out there was a major chaos EVERY SINGLE MONTH of 2022! We started to log the thread titles along with the updates half way through the year, so it's easy to find the tea on a specific thread, if you want to read back in full.
There is lots more, but if you're new - these are good places to start. HTH...
For info:
- Wiki 3 contains only frau fiction - some excellent works in this section.
- Wiki 4 has all the chaos and receipts to date of 2023.
- I should also shout to the Slopalong - which also has its own page, and features Honorary Frau Andy...
Also paging @That Forensic Man - tenderstem if you could poss update the new stock take in the wiki, that would be marvellous - I saw it has increased to c.£160k recently! If it's too long to fit on Wiki 2 dear heart - feel free to move it to Wiki 4...
I’m slightly north of Edinburgh, about half hour up from the bridgeSnowy C, Edinburgh Frau here. Hopefully she'll bypass us.
Why, are they shite at singing?Is there any chance whatsoever that she could be the pigeon on Masked Singer please?
Maybe you should have promised digital content instead of physical rewards to your Patreons, then, you fucking Luddite twat.Has she said this before? Or is this a new explanation?
@FunnyFuneral guards the bridgeI’m slightly north of Edinburgh, about half hour up from the bridgebut in Edinburgh a fair bit.
They’d be cancelling the patreon quick smart if they got a comic kitchen landing in their inbox on the 1st of the monthMaybe you should have promised digital content instead of physical rewards to your Patreons, then, you fucking Luddite twat.
And Royal Mail just lost them all, huh?Has she said this before? Or is this a new explanation?
PDA is also not just a quirk that 'many' autistic people have. Fuck off Jack you lying cxxx.That’s not how it works you absolute lying cunt. I know people with PDA and it absolutely does not matter how you ask!!! Another ailment added to the lying list.
100% this...its all potential downside for them with almost no upsideI don't think they'd take the chance. I mean, look how much hot water she's got into with a cookbook - having to amend and/or withdraw, no sales, an absolute shitshow. A memoir would be far too big a risk, because it would involve other people in Jack's tall tales, the legal trouble they could be exposed to doesn't bear thinking about.
We need to compile a list of the BEST QUESTIONS EVER and these questions need to be on it.I know it's all bollocks but bear with me...
Why does she need to practise sleeping on a settee? What will happen if she just goes in cold? Will she fall off? Slip down the cushions, smol pixie style? Accidentally sleep on the mantle piece?
I had a snooze on my settee earlier, it was easy! Is this a talent I can monetise?
Oh, now I have the Spice Girls singing “When Two (nostrils) Become One”rattling around in my head!An idle wonder, before I hit the hay: at what point do two nostrils become one? When does the septum collapse?
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