Jack Monroe #460 Foghorn Beghorn

[FlirtyThirty]

Thread title by @Emmapism nominated by many Fraus because LOL.

Please see the pink button wiki if you are new here, and please nominate new thread titles after post 500, no swearsies.

Brief catch up on the last thread (some events may have occurred previously but do you want me to STOP BREATHING?)

Jack was lying about: the 2p coin bath, the free books she owns and definitely didn't buy, using a swiss army STYLE knife that had everything BUT the can opener and definitely wouldn't have folded and sliced her thieving little fingers off if she walloped it with a hammer.

Ad infinitum.

The new flat apparently has a communal front garden where she wants to put all her spenny free books.

Please add stuff I have definitely forgotten because bloody hell it never ends.

Last thread here: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...haunt-her-forever.36588/page-30#post-13488512

 

[Nurseali]

First

 

[Lucky Escape]

Also: She's got LOTS of offers of speaking engagements in her inbox, she has LOTS of real friends in real life (honest!), and there are restrictive covenants on the leasehold flat that's she's just bought.

 

[AyiaKnacker]

Fraus, if we count each thread as a book - we bring the facts, knowledge, humour and real life stories, Jack brings the fiction - we’ll smash our 183 target by mid February.

 

[Foxvint]

Far more negative quote tweets of her Guardian feature than positive. She can sound as chipper as she wants on the bird site but she admitted to spending ppls good faith donations on her greedy self, you can't put that genie back in the bottle. They'll be so many tantrums this year when she's alone in her empty flat with her empty calendar. I can't wait.

 

[camotea]

Also, Thrifty Kitchen has plummeted out of the Amazon Top 650 700 bestsellers, roundly beaten by Teach Your Dog Piano in 120 Easy Steps!

 

[AyiaKnacker]

what day does the weekly best seller list come out? Better stock up on popcorn.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

When is her first speaking engagement about a book that’s flopped?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Is this the lowest it’s been?

 

[Limey]

Imagine releasing an incredibly topical book about saving money in the middle of an economic storm, when people are desperate for good advice? You’d be so in demand on TV, radio and print.

Unfortunately, you‘re Jack Monroe, so you manage to blooter the ball over the cross bar, in front of an open goal.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

A lot of people who supported her out of their own low incomes, because they thought she was making a difference, have been badly hurt and betrayed by discovering that she spent their money on drugs, alcohol and furniture.

The awareness of the grift seems to be spreading outside of a small twitter circle and she's not getting the rapturous responses she thinks she's entitled to.

 

[Foxvint]

Not sure why she thinks her engagement is such a great thing. It's people rubber necking at a car crash.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Is this the lowest it’s been?

View attachment 1876880

It was 654 this morning. Dropping like a stone.

 

[Nurseali]

Holy tit. 749.
That is really a flop of a huge magnitude.

However look at how much work she has done to promote it. You get the result of the work you put in.

She is such a nobhead

 

[elepal]

Not sure why she thinks her engagement is such a great thing. It's people rubber necking at a car crash.

For a second I thought she'd obtained another shiny to pawn-or-not-to-pawn in several months' time

Also, this thread title is simply *chef's kiss*. Chapeau, dear @Emmapism !

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Imagine releasing an incredibly topical book about saving money in the middle of an economic storm, when people are desperate for good advice? You’d be so in demand on TV, radio and print.

Unfortunately, you‘re Jack Monroe, so you manage to blooter the ball over the cross bar, in front of an open goal.

BLOOT BLOOT

 

[Amanda Lin]

Is this the lowest it’s been?

View attachment 1876880

This is for you Bobora, you said I was just good for flipping burgers, but look at me now. I’m in the top 750 best sellers on Amazon.

 

[SmillieKylie]

Oooh just realised it’s a week since the release of Grifty Kitchen, anyone know what the weekly sales number is. Is she gonna have a party tonight to celebrate, did it make the Top 100 at any point, were those initial lowly figures just someone having a laugh. Surely her 561.2k Hellsite followers, the Guardianista support that praise her pov activism, and of course the legion of Neck-Beards buying 3 copies each have pushed it to the top of the charts, just behind The Spare. She’s much loved is our smol pixie so I’m expecting big numbers. Love to know the figures

Edit….just seen above it’s at 749, how can that be….are we saying the Neck-Beards have failed her….oh the shame.

 

[Sensible Susan]

When is her first speaking engagement about a book that’s flopped?

New and Unused on ebay today

 

[Dobbythehouseelf]

I know yesterday I said I was down and felt like pure tit, but I have totally turned things around.

I invited all 10 of my (definitely not imaginary friends round), for a peaky blinders themed party. Luckily my pre menopausal beard means I can carry off a pretty decent tom Hardy impression. Then my friends, who all call my Dave, which is HILARIOUS, all mentioned what a clever, intelligent, helpful person I am. Then they all clapped.

Yay. I am now living my best life. Thanks for the inspo Jack.

I am definitely NOT still in my blanket watching netflix.