Jack Monroe #460 Foghorn Beghorn

[mackjonroe]

I need to go to bed shortly, if anyone is on a nightshift etc please do document tonights madness!

 

[Vinbisha]

I know it's all bollocks but bear with me...

Why does she need to practise sleeping on a settee? What will happen if she just goes in cold? Will she fall off? Slip down the cushions, smol pixie style? Accidentally sleep on the mantle piece?

I had a snooze on my settee earlier, it was easy! Is this a talent I can monetise?

 

[BurgerLaBill]

View attachment 1878149
Yeah but most of us don’t do it on Twitter to our generous pinch of followers whilst signposting to our paypals, pal.

She's utterly utterly shameless and brazen.

 

[houseofhoop]

Me too, reading this ludicrous crap just makes me annoyed and bemused.

I feel I’m gunna need a break from the tit show that is Jack Monroe.
She’s EXHAUSTING. And I need to be more present with my family (and my job!)
Narcissists tend to suck the life out of you.

 

[jenny2603]

Jay Rayner has answered one question on his AMA and is ignoring all Jack related questions which is annoying because I too want to know if he's ever fought a crippling addiction to sideboards.

 

[Ablemabel]

Oh my bleeping GOD.

View attachment 1878134

If she doesn't stop with this 'you should try it' tit, as though she's some sort of shining example of redemption or whatever, I will blow a gasket. Jack, you haven't changed, you're still the same raging narc as you've ever been and stop telling people to follow your terrible example.

Also Jack this wasn't all that long ago and by the way you speak to people on twitter, it doesn't seem much has actually changed.

 

[OwlChampagne]

We don’t know anything of the purchase or size at all for sure, but what we DO know is that she’s a lying grifter.

Imagine this, you’ve lived for 4 years in a very spenny bungahouse in one of the finest parts of Southend. You’ve told your half a million Scottish followers that it cost £1600 rent and then told the Guardian it costs well over £3k a month to run without gas or electric. You’ve continually told everyone how poor you are, that you live on £20 a week shopping, you’ve rattled your tip jar, you’ve basically begged for your entire decade of fame. So how’s it gonna look when you buy a nice two (or who knows even 3/4/5 bedroom) house/flat?

So instead you decide that you’re going to pretend you’re sleeping on the sofa in your massive family home, for 6 months, in preparation for the downsizing into your smol one bedroom flat (the only smaller she could have gone is a studio flat but that might prove tricky to blag once you’ve started with your usual over sharing) that you do/don’t know that you’re getting, (but have ordered an online delivery of food to be delivered to that flat 3 weeks before you’ve moved in) because bloody Tory landlords all want her dead.

You have to ask yourself the question, how many landlords would be happy to give over their one bedroom flat to a smol pixie, a string bean of a teen, a massive puppy dog and a rather large cat? Answer - none.

She’s been bread crumbing about buying for months and her friend “spaniel friend” confirmed Jack was “buying”

So we’ve reasonably concluded she’s buying.

Then you have to think, one bed flat with an almost 13 year old son and not to mention the animals, Cotswolds and menagerie? Only way that could happen is if her son, doesn’t live with her and has no possessions. We don’t think her son lives with her full time but ~irregardless~ Jack is a massive bell end and squeezing her over inflated ego into a one bed flat is impossible.

So we can reasonably conclude the property she is buying has more than one bed.

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk

I guess when caught out she'll claim it's not lying because only one room is set up as a bedroom. The other rooms are offices / photography studios / sideboard storage

 

[BurgerLaBill]

I know it's all bollocks but bear with me...

Why does need to practise sleeping on a settee? What will happen if she just goes in cold? Will she fall off? Slip down the cushions, smol pixie style? Accidentally sleep on the mantle piece?

I had a snooze on my settee earlier, it was easy! Is this a talent I can monetise?

Is she doing I'm A Celebrity or that SAS shite? I swear to God if she dares do a documentary on homelessness or something like that I'll implode. She's got form for sleeping outside for charity, right?

 

[jenny2603]

View attachment 1878149
Yeah but most of us don’t do it on Twitter to our generous pinch of followers whilst signposting to our paypals, pal.

Usually people who've said or done crappy things whilst in a bad place, on drugs for example appear sorry once they've reflected upon their behaviour. I wonder if Jack has thought of empathising with other people as if they're real human beings with feelings.

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Had a look in Waterstones today (the big one on Deansgate for Manchester fraus). Not one single copy of Grifty Kitchen in the
entire place, despite it having a huge cookery section.

View attachment 1876982

Curious, I nipped over to the smaller Waterstones in the Arndale (I promise I had actual shopping to do as well). They had a few half price copies in the promotional stand thing at the front of the store with Pinch of Vom and That Man. Absolutely none in the cookery section itself though, which seems slightly odd.View attachment 1877001

I thought Leeds Waterstones had rebelled and wasn't stocking it when I went in to cover them up up yesterday, but turned out they were keeping two of them in single file right next to the till.

 

[Dogrose]

Oh my bleeping GOD.

View attachment 1878134

If she doesn't stop with this 'you should try it' tit, as though she's some sort of shining example of redemption or whatever, I will blow a gasket. Jack, you haven't changed, you're still the same raging narc as you've ever been and stop telling people to follow your terrible example.

She’s perilously close to implying that she’s been “in a bad place” even while she’s been sober and Not Poor. Imagine.

 

[Ablemabel]

I guess when caught out she'll claim it's not lying because only one room is set up as a bedroom. The other rooms are offices / photography studios / sideboard storage

Yup agreed

 

[jenny2603]

She’s perilously close to implying that she’s been “in a bad place” even while she’s been sober and Not Poor. Imagine.

Oh this bad place is our fault for laughing at her and somehow forcing her to spend hours on a website where people say mean things about ickle Jackie poo.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I think we need to put “immaculate” on the list of words Jack doesn’t understand.

Dear heart, 'immaculate' is on the list of words Jack doesn't understand. In the article she wrote after going to Tanzania she described a woman's sofa as 'ripped - if immaculate'. So not immaculate then.

Speaking of the Jacktionary I really need to update it. There are twelve new words to be added including vociferously, strasse/straza and grizzle. How could this happen when she chooses her words in such a precise and laser-focused manner?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Must have been a better show in December. My mate came back from Tromso last Sunday. He said they saw much better in Oulu in Finland last year at Christmas.

ETA I hate the cold, so I will never see them. If anyone offers a free trip I SHAN'T go.

You can sometimes see them in Reykjavik, which is great. I saw them out of the hotel room window, which is preferable to the time I went looking for them on a trip round the Reykjanes at midnight stood in knee deep snow for half an hour

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Knowing that she reads here, she must see her inconsistencies and horrifying personality traits, yet she doesn't change. So.... She must think it's ok

Fanny

 

[allybongo]

I need her to pass out on the gouch couch all day tomorrow so I can have a proper grunk.

 

[MancBee]

Yes and yet you still rattled your tip jar, pushed your Patreon and told massive whoppers you penis toed fraud.

"Penis toed fraud"
Hahahahahaha
Hahahahahaha
Hahahahahaha
Take a breath
Hahahahahaha

 

[Salmonshirt]

Don’t know what’s going on with Vlad this evening but I think they’ve been frequenting Jacks wig shop

 

[Ablemabel]

Knowing that she reads here, she must see her inconsistencies and horrifying personality traits, yet she doesn't change. So.... She must think it's ok

Fanny

I suspect she largely thinks we're all imbeciles and that she'll have the last laugh, etc.