Jack Monroe #432 From £7.92 no refunds

[BenignNarcissist]

Well well well

 

[Spanner]

She'll have plenty of time on her grubby little hands to do those 2 degrees now.

This inspired me to look for that quote she has about working in a pub or a cafe for 2 shifts, “it’s not like I’m exactly using my degree” or whatever lie that was. But while I was looking, I found this - I’m sure fraus have spotted it before but it made me hoot & fizz

 

[BurgerLaBill]

I fucking ate her. The amount of harm this person had caused and only because of her fragile ego. Piss off.

I'm FTM - this happened in year 2 of my transition. Apologies for the #merail but this shite did no favours to her or trans folk. I remember saying at the time it felt performative. I didn't think I'd be saying it again on Tattle many years later. Just to clarify, I've got no beef with Gender Critical feminists or anyone, trans people included. I do have an issue with grifting cunts jumping on bandwagons for personal gain.

Edit: I got a load of shit at the time for saying this about JM. I mean, loads. Real life and social media.

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

I’ve been making small talk on the school run recently. Not my best skill set and I’ve got some sort of fuck awful cold which makes me worse at social niceties.

They mentioned they freelance for the Graun. I said “Ah yes, the Jack Monroe cosplay enabling shit rag”

I immediately wished the Pumble would emerge from the trees and kill me.

However, they laughed and said “See also - Owen Jones”

Did I meet a Tattler in the wild?!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Is there a photo image stock site anywhere with alllll the different faces of Jack Monroe anywhere, where she can pick a photo depending on the crowd she’s aiming at for her events or latest scheme? I’ve never seen so many image changes!

Ah, you need one (or many) of @Silver Linings and @Marmalade Atkins glorious Jack Collections.

(Credit to Silver for both of the above and @Marmalade Atkins for the below)

Seriously, do a search for “some jacks” from @Marmalade Atkins and @Silver Linings. It’s ABSOLUTELY GLORIOUS

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Lmao Guardian Live have deleted yesterday's promo tweets.

 

[Dogmuck]

🫣 I just signed up for that Mrs Gloss pot to nosey at our Jacko it’s a bloody gold mine, you can actually filter for her - first hit much campaigning, much anxiety

 

[Geetbo]

I have just full body cringed my way through this thread.

I don't think anyone in the history of the earth has ever found anyone as fascinating as Jack Monroe finds Jack Monroe.

 

[SmolWarrior]

Frauen I just did a job interview where about 5 minutes in I realised I was completely out of my depth and yet the panel and I had to grind through it until the bitter end. Send demortificationo-s.

My two comforts are that a) I have the self-awareness to realise this, unlike Jack, and that b) I still probably did better than she would have managed. I could probably have made a fairer fist* of the Wales gig too!

* Darling, bit gauche

 

[Foxvint]

Is he the Coast gobshite? Fuck that prick.

Hrs a brilliant writer but he's gone through the wardrobe into narnia. He looks like 1 of those blokes who go to a Masculinity Retreat in the woods for £1500 a night where they play bongos with their willies and call each other brother.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

If Jack drank 200 units a week of whisky and painstakingly transferred the same amount into an account since January 2019 how much does she have? #jackmaths

Apologies for the numbers.



One bottle of JD (750ml) in ASDA is 28 units. £17.

200/28 = 7.14 bottles, so has to be 8 bottles a week.

8 bottles @ £17 = £136

January 2019 to June 2022 = 182 weeks and 2 days. Round it to 180 weeks to allow for the leftovers each Sunday.

180 weeks at £136/pw = £24,480


Even discounting the J1g intake and the 'prescription painkillers + painkillers sourced from the internet' intake, we could reasonably add the cost of filling an ADHD meds prescription at £160 notes a month (will edit if the price is claimed to be different)

January 2019 (because we're keeping to the same timeframe) to June 2022 = 42 months. I shall assume that each 'month's' prescription is in fact for 28 days because that's how Elvanase (the spendy ADHD med she's more likely to have had to go doctor shopping into the private sector for) is dispensed.

182 weeks/4 weeks to a prescription if you follow the instructions and don't repeatedly use it to get off your DDs on it = 45.5 prescriptions. Again, it's necessary to round up because you can't get half a box.

46 privately prescribed boxes of speed prescriptions @ £160 a time = £7,360


24,480 - 7360 (because she wasn't doing both at the same time, apparently) = £17,120 saved

NMW/NLW to March 2019 was £7.18, 2020 was £8.21, 2021 was £8.72, 2022 was £8.91 and we're now at the heady heights of £9.50/hour. Because I really can't be arsed, I'll take a mean value of £42.52/5 = £8.50/h.

40 h/pw @ £8.50/h = £340/pw

182 weeks at £340/pw = £61,880

52 weeks (so we have a representative figure for annual salary, assuming paid holiday entitlement, rather than ZHC) = £!7,860

52 weeks at £160 for pills pm = £160 x 13 prescriptions = £2,080

This leaves approximately (because I'm averaging the NMW/NLW and assuming the pills were taken in strict observance of the prescription, one per day) = £15,780 pa or £1,315 pcm or £303.46 pw after filling her scripts, or over 182 weeks (46 four week periods), assuming the tax and NI was deducted at source and the figures are for what was actually paid into her account. If the NMW/NLW claim was in respect of gross amounts, her income would be significantly lower thanks to the HMRC deductions.

We could add the price of an NHS prepayment prescription to cover the other medications, as it would be daft to pay over £9 a pop for the multitude of things she says she needs. Give or take £100/year. Mere chickenfeed compared to two monthly prescriptions of multiple medications. Oh, and NHS ouchy mouths.

£1500 pcm rent equates to £18,000 or £346.15 pw. So more than she claimed to earn. If the huge dormer bungalow in a naice area, by the sea, walking distance of trains, great grammar schools, etc, is any cheaper than that, I'll be fucking stunned, as that's the going rate for bedsits and 1 bed flats in the suburban hellhole of goat legs and Chinese shops that aren't Wing Yip. An ex council shack on a shite estate (stab proof vest a very real need for the local teens) is more than that.



Conclusions

It is therefore a mathematical impossibility for her rent to be the claimed percentage of her income at the figures she has claimed it to be. And a legal and financial impossibility for her to have passed affordability/credit checks to take on the renewed lease by herself when it was higher than her (claimed) income.

It is therefore also a mathematical impossibility for her to have firstly spent or secondly have saved that sum. Let alone afford sideboards and whatnots.

It is also clear that developing a taste for being prescribed medication is significantly cheaper than 'drinking 200 units a week'. But still ultimately unaffordable for anybody on the income she claims.



It's still, however, fundamentally exceedingly fucking unlikely anything she has said regarding her finances is true.



Nota Bene: It's been a fucking long week already and this is soooo, soooo much Maths. If I have fucked the figures, just smile and nod and tell me I'm a clever pixie or I'll scweam and scweam until I'm thick I'll rage quit Tattle for fifteen minutes and then you'll ALL BE SORRY.



Happy now? Thankyou and fuckoff.

 

[Country Bumpkin]

In response to the Guardian live event. Snorted tea out my nose

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Thanks to @Hollaaa for the banging thread title. You win a single roll of expensive wallpaper and a roll of sellotape.

Quick recap:

• Jack is still off twitter after her weekend chaos. She briefing reappeared this morning in a blink and you’d miss it way to update her days sober (after the photo of a pint of lager in spoons appeared in her camera roll)
• She was due to appear at Community Housing Cymru’s annual conference this morning doing a keynote speech on housing inequality in wales but was hastily replaced with someone who knows what they’re talking about. Was she pushed or did she jump?
• Guardian Live has announced an event in January where the smol pixie will be launching her new tome Grifty - sorry, Thrifty, Kitchen. I think it’s fair to say they have had a lukewarm response.

Please add to this. And click on the Pink button up there for the forensic wiki!

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

“I awoke today in a small but comfortably sumptuous single bed in Montpellier House (33 Montpellier Terrace - laid on by the generosity of the Sunday Times Cheltenham Literary Festival). Yet, despite the bliss, despite the now hazy memories of hands held across the table as I signed books after my talk yesterday evening, despite the warm cocoon of kind words and appreciative hugs, I do feel quite exhausted. Physically tired to my bones.“

 

[Lazarus]

Yes this and it's thought it's one of the (many) reasons men aren't diagnosed with EDs as often as women because they don't show as underweight as often as women even though that shouldn't really be a prerequisite anyway for EDs.

The first time I went to speak to my doctor about my ED I was in my very early 20s, and had been dealing with it for about around 5yrs at that point. I am not, and never have been slim. My GP said to me he could refer me to counselling or therapy but I’d probably feel awkward and make others feel awkward because I was overweight and not underweight. This partly contributed to me not seeking treatment, at that time or at any other time, until I was 41, during lockdown.

 

[Dogmuck]

Fraus I’ve been in there for a good 30 mins and I’m defo gonna have to call one of my three therapists. I have just put Jacks name in the search bar and it’s all Jacko, and Brian I don’t want to see what other types are on there, it’s hun central and I’m not sure if to cry or vomit. I’m happy to go back in and do screenies but I fear almost all of it has already been seen, I’ll do a big post behind a spoiler. What I find alarming is the amount of hair styles and colours Jack has. She must have spent a fortune on hair products as well as makeup obvs (and clothes, there’s a clothes one in there) Anyway off I fuxk, wish me luck and remember I’m doing this so you don’t have to!!! BRB in 17 hours xxx

 

[Elsie Ben Felyn]

The USUAL Lily Allen or Eva Green.

good grief.

 

[SharkAttack]

I’ve been a member of that Gloss group for years (for work, I hasten to add) - but I’d muted it. Just been in for brief grunk and omg look at this.

Who was the lucky recipient of these ‘breathless makeout sessions’ in summer 2017?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

This inspired me to look for that quote she has about working in a pub or a cafe for 2 shifts, “it’s not like I’m exactly using my degree” or whatever lie that was. But while I was looking, I found this - I’m sure fraus have spotted it before but it made me hoot & fizz

View attachment 1754067
View attachment 1754068

Jack’s “Degrees”: Selected Highlights

May 2012

2015 Daily Mail

And Huffpost

2021 Diva.pdf

2022

Also 2022

(She got another one from Coventry in 2018 but other than when she’d being Dr Dr Monroe it’s the Essex one she really likes to show off about)

Spoiler: VERY VERY TERRIBLE. WARNED

Blame/thank @Veronicaaa for immortalizing this one

 

[MoistenedGussets]

"So, Jack, You're here to talk about Welsh Social housing..."
"Yes, that's right.. when I was living on the streets in London and was selling my teeth to pay for the man to come and cut my hair to sell for wigs so that I could buy half a Greggs pasty and a cold cup of sick...."
"And what does that have to do with Welsh Social Housing?"
"....... You're out of the comments club.."