Jack Monroe #432 From £7.92 no refunds

[Dogmuck]

That Mrs Gross page is in equal measures, but what is fascinating for me is the different personas she puts on different media. On twitter she’s hard core, shouty, sweary, gobshite, lefty lesbian who buys budget food, on IG she’s here’s my photos of food/life and on Gloss she’s a massive straight Essex girly girl hun posting thirsty photos of herself made up and talking big brand make-up/clothes/accessories. Who/what is she? I actually think she sits most comfortably with the Gloss lot, we see glimpses of that girl on her Twitter with her facetuned af, thirsty (sideboard) and dress up (Mary Poppins) photos. I think her main aim is to get people to love her and snag herself someone man/woman who’s rich. She doesn’t want to work she wants to stay home messing with her makeup like a 14 year old.

 

[imBUSY]

Frauen:
I am SHOOKETH.

Am a Yank who knew of JM only in passing from the Guardian and the haunted bird app and was considering buying one/some of her books.

You have SAVED me.

 

[here we go again]

Fucking hell there is no greater love story than that between Jack and Jack. She's honestly obsessed with herself.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

🫣 I just signed up for that Mrs Gloss pot to nosey at our Jacko it’s a bloody gold mine, you can actually filter for her - first hit much campaigning, much anxiety
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Hair by Vidal Baboon.

 

[Dogmuck]

I’m in that gloss dross place doing gods work, but this one jumped out. How much % of the most lesbian lesbian in lesbianville was jaxk in March 2017?
One hun wrote this about her OH ()

And Jack replied in the comments…

 

[Livia Fantasy]

And why is she always trying to get married to people?

(I still often think about this post from @Veronicaaa in response to this tweet and LOL and LOL most heartily)
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She reminds me of my offspring. First relationship: love of his life, going to get married, sunday roasts with alternating families, etc etc.

Dumped. Next one: best person in the world (naturally HATED the ex [they dated for a fortnight], rinse and repeat as above, adopt a puppy together

He's FOURTEEN.

Like, wind it in dickhead.

 

[jenny2603]

Gender discussion not important here, let's not derail, but lol "women who are trans inclusive like Jack Monroe". The old "waahh they're all transphobic towards me" defence is really working.
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Spoiler: Off Topic: Janey Godley rant.

Shan't derail too much but Janey Godley being held up as trans inclusive is hilarious. She believes in nothing but lining her own pockets. Until not that long ago she was still doing racist stuff in her act, she only dropped that for career advancement. The reason she's pretending to support trans rights and not doing one of her hilarious voiceovers about women wi' big wullies or something equally pathetic is because the Scottish Government are looking at reforming the gender recognition process. If the Scottish Government had taken a more gender critical view she'd be shouting that from the rooftops. She sucks up to Sturgeon they way she sucked up to Thatcher back in the 80s. Honestly, whatever your cause and whatever she says Janey Godley is no friend to it.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Poor old BGG

 

[Justacatindisguise]

 

[Nurseali]

Not sure what to laugh at most. Her being kicked off a panel she had absolutely no right to be on in the first place or her going back on twitter, so it doesn't deactivate, to update her ridiculous lie about how long since she first pretended to be an alcoholic.
Awww keep being you Jack.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

I’m gobsmacked that Jack hasn’t gone into those two old Facebook profiles and deactivated the accounts. I couldn’t bear to think of all those arse clenching attention seeking posts floating around out there. And I’m not just talking about the Mrs. Gloss ones either.

Putting this one behind a spoiler as it could be triggering for some. But Jack has been churning out this emotionally manipulative shit for YEARS. I imagine, before her Z list fame, it was her family and friends that got these kinds of tall tales and tantrums.

How many times have we heard a slightly different version of this? And thick skinned my arse.

Spoiler: TW: Suicide/SA/Death

 

[Lazarus]

I genuinely think Jack will be using AA meetings in the way she used Mrs Gloss. Attention, attention, attention.
Using a sample size of 2, I looked to see how many posts two other members of that group had made and it’s nowhere near the amount that Jack did. They also weren’t showing huge hauls of lipsticks etc although I’m sure there’s plenty of that in there too!
I’ve LEFT the group already, but got these little snippets. The writing makes me as bilious as the nails.

ETA: why isn’t she writing in the left hand page? If you look closely there’s lines on it, not sure why she’d be as wasteful.

I think her facial expression looks like she is trying to listen into a discussion in her neighbours house, through the wall (of course we know Jack likes DETACHED houses, so this is unlikely).

 

[Squeaky Beans]

Lmao Guardian Live have deleted yesterday's promo tweets.

Just came here to report this! Very little engagement with Guardian Live's previous posts but in excess of 40 negative comments on JM's announcement and then *poof* it's gone!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Just went way back on Jack's insta because I was looking for something that in retrospect was probably published on her blog (the 'body positivity' photo in which she'd clearly altered the width of her waist). Anyway, just putting this here before it gets lost in my tabs or my desktop.

So she was doing the £1 per day challenge for 'live below the line' for 4 years, starting in 2011. Why would she have been doing this 'challenge' during The Poverty? I know we've already established that's where her 'more bread and jam please mummy' dry toast photos came from but it bears repeating I think.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Thanks to @Veronicaaa’s post yesterday, I’ve been inspired to collate an IN NO WAY COMPREHENSIVE selection of the things to which our poor smol pixie has been subjected, yet heroically overcome.

LONG. WARNED

Spoiler: <<Insert Jimmy Nail GIF here>>

(Cannot locate the time decked brother also told her he LOVED Ian Duncan Smith and she should have kept her legs closed, but count him in too)

(Thanks to @Marmalade Atkins for the Borb screenie and the others who originally immortalized these)

 

[Fruitjack]

Shall we start to lay our bets on the comeback? Will it be "Hi, not really here, just popping in, hope you're all ok out there?" or "Bad Mentals" or full on "THE TROLLS HAVE RUINED MY WHOLE LIFE, THE BASTARDS" followed by a bit of tin rattling?

‘Was just dreaming about Findus Crispy Pancakes. Anyone remember them?’

 

[Lucky Escape]

I'm very confident that either the conversation didn't happen or Jack was given a bit of a pep talk. Similar to the conversation a teacher had with my son when he was being an arsehole in year 11. 'You're a bright kid and you can do really well but you have to get your head down' type thing.

My Chemistry teacher exasperatedly said of me "he'll probably get his A grade, but he won't deserve it".

Reader, I got a C.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

She takes pregnancy vitamins when she wants her hair to grow? Did I read that correctly? And her Mum gets her hopes up every time she spots them in her kitchen?
First of all, pregnancy vitamins are never cheap. Second of all, fairly sure a regular multivitamin would suffice, and -bonus- there'd be no inquisitive looks at having Pregnacare lying about. The attention seekery knows no bounds.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Imagine being on your bare bones, living on a shoestring (see THAT’S the phrase Jack, you fucking wazzock) and needing a few tins and some stodge to warm you up and get you through the week, and instead of FOOD you get handed a FUCKING BOOK. A fucking book that - effectively - tells you that you need to go and buy various ingredients.

Fuck. Right. Off.

 

[shugabug23]

Uh oh.. Jack is back I just checked and WTF?! I know following and followers are always skewed when she reactivates but let me just point out here I follow her but don’t interact. I do follow AM, TD, That Man, Fingers, Potatoes Martin, Tom of the Potatoes, Fake Jack, that hot reporter fella and a few usual suspects I can’t remember. Have I been by Essex Celeb Squad and she’s eye-p’d me & is following?!

Freaked out a wee bit because my work email is in my bio (self employed)