Jack Monroe #432 From £7.92 no refunds

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Thanks to @Hollaaa for the banging thread title. You win a single roll of expensive wallpaper and a roll of sellotape.

Quick recap:

  • Jack is still off twitter after her weekend chaos. She briefing reappeared this morning in a blink and you’d miss it way to update her days sober (after the photo of a pint of lager in spoons appeared in her camera roll)
  • She was due to appear at Community Housing Cymru’s annual conference this morning doing a keynote speech on housing inequality in wales but was hastily replaced with someone who knows what they’re talking about. Was she pushed or did she jump?
  • Guardian Live has announced an event in January where the smol pixie will be launching her new tome Grifty - sorry, Thrifty, Kitchen. I think it’s fair to say they have had a lukewarm response.
Please add to this. And click on the Pink button up there for the forensic wiki!
 
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Hola. Lovely new thread, so clean, so tidy.

Delighted the Dead-Eyed Narc has been pied from the Welsh housing thingy.

What a stupid initial invitation that was.

As you were
 
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"So, Jack, You're here to talk about Welsh Social housing..."
"Yes, that's right.. when I was living on the streets in London and was selling my teeth to pay for the man to come and cut my hair to sell for wigs so that I could buy half a Greggs pasty and a cold cup of sick...."
"And what does that have to do with Welsh Social Housing?"
"....... You're out of the comments club.."
 
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"So, Jack, You're here to talk about Welsh Social housing..."
"Yes, that's right.. when I was living on the streets in London and was selling my teeth to pay for the man to come and cut my hair to sell for wigs so that I could buy half a Greggs pasty and a cold cup of sick...."
"And what does that have to do with Welsh Social Housing?"
"....... You're out of the comments club.."
I'm just wondering if, after the Twitter response, the organisers used Jack's wailing about her mental state to softly, gently drop her and compassionate grounds with a cheery "we'll keep you in mind for next year". We shall never know but it would amuse me no end if Jack talked herself out the gig.
 
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She'll have plenty of time on her grubby little hands to do those 2 degrees now.
Which she'll pay for and bail when she fucks up her first assignment by turning in a huge me rail about Metro fanny pads and shin kicking.
 
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Not sure what to laugh at most. Her being kicked off a panel she had absolutely no right to be on in the first place or her going back on twitter, so it doesn't deactivate, to update her ridiculous lie about how long since she first pretended to be an alcoholic.
Awww keep being you Jack.
 
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The updating of the sober counter is done as some sort of in yer face suck on that scenario thats entirely in her head. No one's hoping she gets back on the ale. Her behaviour's embarrassing enough as it is.
 
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I dunno I was quite looking forward to Jack doing thorough research on welsh culture binge watching Pobol Y Cwm on iPlayer the night before and walking out into stage yelling “Yakki da boyos!”
 
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Thanks to @That Forensic Man we got a startling glimpse of a rather more mobile-foreheaded pre-work Monroe. Amazing waggle range.

🎶 Oh man! Look at those eyebrows go
It's the freakiest show
Is there Botox on Mars? 🎶

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She'll have plenty of time on her grubby little hands to do those 2 degrees now.
This inspired me to look for that quote she has about working in a pub or a cafe for 2 shifts, “it’s not like I’m exactly using my degree” or whatever lie that was. But while I was looking, I found this - I’m sure fraus have spotted it before but it made me hoot & fizz

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This inspired me to look for that quote she has about working in a pub or a cafe for 2 shifts, “it’s not like I’m exactly using my degree” or whatever lie that was. But while I was looking, I found this - I’m sure fraus have spotted it before but it made me hoot & fizz

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Darling Spanner, I laughed so hard at this that the cats ran away. Thank you for brightening my day!
 
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Frauen I just did a job interview 🔺 where about 5 minutes in I realised I was completely out of my depth and yet the panel and I had to grind through it until the bitter end. Send demortificationo-s.

My two comforts are that a) I have the self-awareness to realise this, unlike Jack, and that b) I still probably did better than she would have managed. I could probably have made a fairer fist* of the Wales gig too!

* Darling, bit gauche
 
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Oh dear, if I was Jack (thank God I'm not*** 😬) I'd be FEWMIN at Moneymagpie getting all up in my niche!😳

This food looks tasty, so recipes definitely haven't been stolen from the smol pixie.:mThey even mention the leftovers and give total price spent alongside amount used, very tasty! 😁

#jackmonroecantcook




***
 
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Considering the line up has changed at such short notice I’m thinking she bailed because she’s still in a massive narc rage. Actually Jack’s “depression” is probably narc rage - a constant swirl of HOW bleeping DARE THEY NOT RINSE MY HOOP AND RAISE ME UP LIKE NONE OF MY CAKES JACK SO SAD.
 
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This inspired me to look for that quote she has about working in a pub or a cafe for 2 shifts, “it’s not like I’m exactly using my degree” or whatever lie that was. But while I was looking, I found this - I’m sure fraus have spotted it before but it made me hoot & fizz

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So she cracked the sads and had it removed? She looks like even more of a fanny with that 'sorry, Jack' down the bottom.
 
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