Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[Marmalade Atkins]

This looked so much better in my head.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

She’s been BINNED

 

[Brian Butterfield]

 

[Claret]

Just watched, or part watched the happy mum happy baby podcast

Monroe is infuriating, not only did she barely talk about her son, preferring instead to talk about me, me, me but she referred to her friends as hapless and infantilised them in her comments

The point when I had to turn off was when she said that she didn't let her friends know that she wasn't eating or that she was unscrewing light bulbs to save energy (just leave them off, moron - why unscrew them). There is no chance that this happened

Monroe, you know if you're reading this (which you will be) that at the same time as you claimed abject poverty you were often in the Railway pouring pints down your neck and eating takeaways at the end of the night. Not once were you unable to afford to pay your way

Also, your mum and dad would not let you starve. They looked after 100 foster children (that weren't parented by you as you claim), and you say that they fed them but would not feed you. It makes no sense

Narc of the highest order. Evident in everything you do

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Spoiler: On topic but will probably annoy mods

I’ve noticed that Molly and some of the regular squigs have been sending money to and promoting the woman who published the DMs with Jack and has posted a GoFundMe with the horrifying picture of her (alleged) husband’s gammy leg. I haven’t read her page but surely this is just the same shit but on a different scale? Write with great emotion about a shitty situation and watch the pounds roll in. Kudos to the people giving sensible advice and signposting services to this lady but how on earth does giving money to this unvetted, total stranger on the internet differ from how Jack started out?

A while back Molly also posted a fundraiser for some follower to bring a fucking stray cat back from abroad and I raised my eyebrows tbh because this is a person who already talks about her precarious financial situation/has an Amazon wishlist etc so why get a frigging cat? I wrote it off as a cat lover (Molly) being soft but now it’s happened twice - what is the point of writing about grifting and then amplifying lower level grift?! Giving on an individual basis does NOTHING. Find a charity or org which directly addresses these problems on a structural basis or you’re as bad as all the centrist twats funding Russ Jones and Supertanskii and Jack.

There’s a Russian doll effect with these internet beggars. There’s always someone waiting to take the place. I don’t know if any of you remember that “Hope Shiloh” who’s the one who coined in £5k from her “I can’t make my £20 budget stretch” tweet then deactivated, but there was some woman in the replies who’s also a prolific internet beggar saying “I only ask for it when I really need it”, and people replying sympathetically. Er, how about fuck off, because you’re exactly the same?

Honestly, I’m fuming that Molly is either thick enough, or a grifter-in-waiting herself, to be using all of the material Tattle has spent years archiving to then perpetuate this fucked up dynamic of “boo hoo give me some money and fuck anyone who doesn’t have the same grasp of emotive English or access to the internet to groom a sympathetic following all day because I matter more”.

Fuck it all. Fury.

 

[Sack Monroe]

Good morning. Dropping in to say that the Guardian recipes were my first encounter with La Monroe. I remember criticising her for appropriating the names of national dishes for her half formed slop and I was accused of being a snark or a snob or whatever. Which made me feel pretty shitty and blunted my gut feeling that there was somethng off about her to the point I once bunged her £20 out of guilt. So imagine my joy when I realised my first impressions were right, right, right. Thank you restoring my trust in my own judgment. Now fuck off (sorry, don't know how to hide text).

 

[Geetbo]

You just *know* that on that Dordrecht trip she would be all:

"OMG everyone's ~literally~ CONVINCED that we're going to get engaged on this work-trip-cum-mini-break! How mad are they?! I keep saying it's TOO SOON....but then again, if you know, you know. And we know, don't we? I've just seen the most amazing ring- no, no, what am I saying? You'll already have bought one. I'll be quiet now. Just enjoy the moment. And it's really no-one else's business, is it? We've got each other and our copper steins"

Never before seen footage of Jack heading down to breakfast in Dordrecht:

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Spoiler: TW

She laughed about accidentally breaking SBs arm when she pushed his swing too hard. She loves boasting about assaulting others. She's 'decked' her brother, thrown a book at an art director and kicked someone in the shins. Or maybe she's lying.

My mother would laugh about such things. Hilarious little anecdotes about 'I said I'd wash his mouth out with soap and water - and I did!' she fucking waterboarded him with fairy liquid and sink water until he nearly suffocated/drowned in foam and water. 'I told him not to steal food and just - oh, so funny - I went to tap his hand but forgot I was holding the carving knife at the time!'he needed stitches 'I told her that if she was a bully and pushed him, I'd let her know what being pushed around was really like!' down the fucking stairs 'Oh, it was so funny to see her smug face after I'd said my piece!' she hissed at the right year old next door that she was going to burn her Mummy's house down because she'd complained to the council about the state of the rubbish piled up against their fence.

She laughed all the way to my brother being put on the At Risk Register and her being threatened with eviction. And then, obviously, became the pawr ickle victim of domestic violence and defenceless ickle old lady who couldn't cope with keeping the garden tidy. A way of life for decades - decades that left a trail of abused children behind her. But oh, those stories were so funny - as though her laughing meant they couldn't possibly be admissions of violent abuse or veiled threats of further violence towards you because hey, she's got away with all those other things, what makes you think that anybody would ever believe you when she'll just give a tinkly little laugh and tell them that it's actually a really funny story?


Cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

THIS!!!! Even though we’ve read similar from her, the first couple of lines of her reply are ABSOLUTELY FUCKING STAGGERING

Also quoted from her article “I don’t really talk about the Christmas Day”. Except you do, Jack. Incessantly. Mostly for paid articles monetizing your fake pov.

 

[FourSeasonSoupObsessive]

So I’ve been on a new-to-the-canal rollercoaster mega grunk and boy, oh boy what a ride! I am insanely busy and stressed right now and really don’t have much time to spare, so what better use of my limited free hours than deep diving into the web of absolute horses doo-doos spun by this smol pixie? It’s so addictive, it’s like one of those old fighting fantasy game books where you would work your way through it choosing options, and every option could either find you a magic ring that gives you superpowers over orcs, or plunges you into a pit of darkness with a disembodied ghostly head who kills you and eats your soul. Gripping

so this one bothered me. I dove through Thread 31 (absolute genius BTW), and Jack tells us about the stalkers (plural) who caused her to move house several times in quick succession. Really awful.

But then in the most recent chaos, there’s a list of what had caused the multiple moves, and none of them are anything to do with stalking?

Dare I venture to speculate that one, some or ALL of this is a gentle, tender lie?? Say it ain’t so!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Crossover time!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Everytime I see this I and laugh like a rabid Mutley.

But tonight I've finally managed to actually see this rabbit as it is meant. All this time I thought the red was eyes and the white some sort of tooth mouth opening/portal to Hell...

But the white is inner ear fluff and the red...flowers? Ladybirds? Blood?

I've ruined all my future enjoyment of this now.

Omg, I was just thinking, maybe the red and white bits were added on by one of us ninnies, and it’s somehow become the “official” picture.

I just looked back at the Easter thread and I was that ninnie! I’m so sorry. Jack’s cake was terrifying enough, but the red eyes and tooth-mouth/portal were all my creative work, not Jack’s!


ETA.

Spoiler: The original version

screenie from @Marmalade Atkins

 

[jenny2603]

My theory on Dordrecht is Jack and Harold 'discussed' the book acknowledgement while they were there, Jack pushed it in her weird way and he ran for the hills. Because that is bunny boiler type stuff unless you've discussed it beforehand.

WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER, HAROLD.

 

[MancBee]

Sorry if I've missed it but which Jack is this 'do'?

Nice white walled kitchen there.

On top of everything else I've now got covid. Feel dreadful. That's why I've not written up my Peach Drizzle Brick effort.

 

[Lady Die]

Still about half a thread behind after Jack's antics this weekend, but I can't help but think she's seriously misunderstood the vibe because her life has been so sheltered.

Moaning on and on about her living situation. In 2021, about 25% of 20-34 year olds still lived with their parents, largely because of financial reasons. I don't know what percentage of that same group live in house/flat shares but I'd guess it's pretty high, especially in London and the southeast. Most people I know have way more qualifications than Jack, and genuinely work insane hours, but have nothing but a small rented bedroom to show for it (which they are normally not allowed to decorate). A growing number of young renters don't even have access to a living room as landlords are turning these into bedrooms for the extra £££.

Conversely, apart from a very short period where she was (allegedly?) in a houseshare, Jack has always lived independently. Even with a kid, that's a luxury in itself, before we even get started on the tens of thousands she's spunked on expensive furniture and tat.

Any working class young adult will look at Jack and instantly see she's a charlatan.

 

[HaveTinCanRattle]

You just *know* that on that Dordrecht trip she would be all:

"OMG everyone's ~literally~ CONVINCED that we're going to get engaged on this work-trip-cum-mini-break! How mad are they?! I keep saying it's TOO SOON....but then again, if you know, you know. And we know, don't we? I've just seen the most amazing ring- no, no, what am I saying? You'll already have bought one. I'll be quiet now. Just enjoy the moment. And it's really no-one else's business, is it? We've got each other and our copper steins"

 

[moldwarp]

View attachment 1749772

@Brian Butterfield if Jack is to be believed these are called 'peppercorn rents'

Jack's claim that her grandad charged only peppercorn rent to his tenants really grinds my gears. Peppercorn is defined as de minimis payments. Absolutely no way was Misogynist Grandad renting out his properties basically for free. That was a transparent lie Jack told in a blatant attempt to position her Grandad as some kind of hyper-socialist charitable organisation, when in fact, we have good reason to expect that he was renting out HMOs to fairly vulnerable people, doubtless at the market rate.

Also @NellieBoo thank you for your wise words on the effects of heavy drinking and the way it complicates and fucks up people's lives. At the end of my active alcoholism I was not only very physically ill but was also in a really dreadful abusive relationship and a horrible living situation. it took a year for my body to recover and well over three years to untangle the life complications that my alcoholism had got me into. And I wasn't drinking 200 units, because women don't typically SURVIVE a long period of drinking 200 units a week. Men, sure. Women, no.

Jack's whole alcohol cosplay is so, so offensive to people who really struggle with this disease. I don't doubt she drank problematically (as many Cluster B type personalities do) but I press X to doubt on the chronic alcoholism shit.

 

[ElbiePickle]

I think I've finally triangulated the shitty bungalow (no intention of sharing it btw just to make that perfectly clear!)

Fucking hell she's a lying CUNT - shitty bungalow my arse! It may not be as big and expensive as some of the houses there but fuck me, that place is MASSIVE compared to my 1-bed flat. I'm 41 and have very little chance of owning my own home, at least not for the next 20+ years when my parents aren't around anymore. That's because I'm actually disabled with multiple actual illnesses and have mental illness that's bad enough to mean I've never been able to work. I live on what the DWP decides to give me because it's the only choice I have to survive... so I live in a small rented 1-bed and I'm eternally grateful for it as I know so many people are in far worse situations in so many ways.

She is such an entitled, manipulative, shameless CUNT to talk about that bungalow-not-bungalow in the way she does. I know she doesn't own it, she RENTS it... but the fact she shows such disdain for it and is so unappreciative of the relative fucking LUXURY she lives in... ugh such a CUNT!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Hello! Been lurking for a while but first time poster. Can someone explain to me who Harold is? It’s been really bugging me!

He also 1. Wears hats like hers and they used to have fun counting them

2. Has mugs and crockery like hers which means they’re “as good as married”

3. Has to stay with her til next spring cos she put him in her new book acknowledgements, which he “took quite well”

Spoiler: blurstoftimes glorious Harold post

4. Dumped her stupid ass 3 weeks after she posted 3. above in “a bolt from the blue after a lovely weekend away”. No idea what went wrong. Such a curve ball!

Oh PS he also has parents that she made

Spoiler: THIS FOR

(thanks to @Marmalade Atkins @Boyo @blurstoftimes and @Sideboard Bob for the screenies)

 

[Geetbo]

Congrats @Bugger13 and @Ooointitot for the banging new thread title. You each win one of SB’s roller skates.

Jack had LEFT Twitter again and the canal awaits her appearance in Wales on Wednesday with bated breath.

Go well tender ones x