Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
'She has launched her own price index'

Launched it where? Into the sun?

 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 70
Dear Lord above, what the hell was that?! My dear partner who got to the thread before me has made us watch it twice, the first time I laughed a lot, but was cringing simultaneously, but the second time I watched it forensically and it’s terrifying.
To me, she looks completely insane. Absolutely bonkers. Far more bonkers than the one time I met her. Part of me wishes she had someone to stop her making such a fool of herself but then I suppose many have tried, and she is so narcissistic that she can’t take any advice.

The other downside to seeing this for the first time, is that my dear partner is now mimicking the talk part on her way upstairs, perfomatively thanking me for being alive on her way to the bath and waving with a creepy smile. FML.
Is she chuntering on for like 4 minutes before she starts warbling?
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 29
This pic makes me want to gauge my eyes out with teaspoons (sorry for the #jackerism) for many reasons.
1. She looks filthy. I know she hasn't been using shower gel for a few years and has her hot water turned off (whatEVERRRRRR!) but she's a grubby little mare!:poop:
2. That skirt is disgusting. Don't want to body-shame anyone because I'm a long way short of perfect, but what is that weird bulge bottom left, below her stomach? Curved stomach, normal. Other bulge, I'm confused. (Please don't hate me ninnies)
3. That top. I know it's been discussed before but it just doesn't fit correctly. (She doesn't suit grey, either, with her grey-tinged skin!)
4. That snarly look on her mug - she obviously thinks she's being sexy ~shudder~ but, no. Just no. It's an "I'm better than you" look and (if it was aimed at her ex) "see what you're missing, baby?" (can't believe I just wrote that, I feel sick now!):sick:
5. Why can't she shut that bleeping drawer properly?:mad:
Also...doesn't like showing her legs in public. :unsure: :unsure: :unsure:


I literally just typed about the same thing! :LOL: :LOL: :LOL:
I reckon the top was LJC's, she is a much taller lady.
 
  • Like
  • Wow
  • Heart
Reactions: 34
Exactly this, I have an acquaintance who is retired fire service & they've said they are called out to road accidents , suspected chemical spills, flooding etc just as much if not more than fires. Call outs like these are likely from other agencies, eg police on scene of accident - gonna need fire service etc not some random member of public howling down the phone in mortal danger. Also many many fires reported are small kitchen fires, barbecues, garages & sheds etc not roaring blazes ripping through hmo's with no fire exits ffs.

(I nearly called 999 a few weeks ago as i was house sitting & lit the woodburner, shortly afterwards room filled with black smoke & highly effective smoke alarms & alexa started going off. I couldnt find cause & was starting to stress - had only been there a few hours! Just before i dialled i realised that the bone dry wood had been stacked right against the stove & was just starting to go up. I pulled the lit one out onto hearth & that was that. Imagine that call! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!! OH HANG ON, NO ITS NOT. Sorry about that. As you were. So terribly sorry.)
I’m gonna hide this behind a spoiler to be on the safe side but I’m not about to give graphic details or anything.

Her account of that call and several other things she’s said make me think of the Lakanal House fire in which 6 people were killed. As if she’s taken the stories from there and changed slight details to make them her own. In particular the excerpt posted earlier which reads like a Jack version (god this makes me feel sick to write) of a real 999 call from that incident. It was in London in 2009 so before she made these comments - and it’s obviously vanishingly unlikely anyone associated got put through to South End.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Angry
  • Sad
Reactions: 61
EXACTLY. I also feel quite confident in saying that if she had experienced such a thing, she wouldn't be tlaking about it in such a flippant way.
My Old Harold, (he has left) was a firefighter in the 80's & 90's when fire safety wasn't such a thing as now. He saw one fatality at a fire and it traumatised him and to this day I think he still suffers from ptsd from that and a horrible RTA he attended. Black humour was the way the watch had of dealing with horrific circumstances, but Jack's take on this is gruesome and sensational. She is insufferable and the absolute pits!
 
  • Like
  • Sad
  • Heart
Reactions: 85
Cancelling my booking at Cardiff Travelodge tomorrow (just in case)
[/QUOTE
Yeah, because assault is so obviously hilarious. Thanks for that, Jack.
She laughed about accidentally breaking SBs arm when she pushed his swing too hard. She loves boasting about assaulting others. She's 'decked' her brother, thrown a book at an art director and kicked someone in the shins. Or maybe she's lying.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
  • Wow
Reactions: 76
My Old Harold, (he has left) was a firefighter in the 80's & 90's when fire safety wasn't such a thing as now. He saw one fatality at a fire and it traumatised him and to this day I think he still suffers from ptsd from that and a horrible RTA he attended. Black humour was the way the watch had of dealing with horrific circumstances, but Jack's take on this is gruesome and sensational. She is insufferable and the absolute pits!
yes, I would expect that fire fighters might be more likely to see fatalities at road traffic accidents than building fires, yet Jack didn't mention that at all. I guess because you can't softly, gently talk someone out of a car crash
 
  • Like
  • Sad
Reactions: 50
No.

The photo pops up here, too. Never fails to make me laugh.

View attachment 1751742
The duck is this! I asm
If we are having Jack Monroe Singing vids, this is my video version of @Marmalade Atkins fave Easter pic of tinyheaded Jack that’s just a gift that keeps on giving.

I’ve never even managed to listen properly all the way through. I just LOVE and cannot get enough of the trilled “Hiya!” followed by the big sniff, nose wipe and calling herself a COKE book author- all in the first eight seconds. I listen to that part multiple times then I just forward to the warbling.
Is that double denim like Jimmy Corkhill
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: 30
Note how it is about Jack's pain at the memory of someone dying and not the person who is dying and their pain.
That person was VERY mean to die despite Jack's best efforts. Likely they did it to troll her. Can you imagine having the AUDACITY to die while you have THE Jack Monroe on the phone, trying to save your life?

It occurred to me, by the way, dearest Fraus, that if deaths in fires are so relatively rare in the UK then it'd probably have been in the press, right? Do we know when St Jack was in the fire service? Because they say the internet never forgets, and it seems like the tragic incident could be confirmed 🔺 by a bit of a Google if it was in doubt?

But I trust her when she says she cannot lie. 😇
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 55
Right after the Guardian live promoted Jack’s talk, they posted a talk featuring this person.

EC1D1EAA-4584-427D-9084-4DEEC33DA754.jpeg


Any relation?
 
  • Haha
  • Wow
  • Like
Reactions: 61
Military/Military round the edges is just another one of those things she’s desperate to be/be seen as and isn’t. See also butch. I will lay odds that neither “Lynn of the pins” or Leggy bleeping said that COINCIDENTALLY EXACT SAME THING to her.

View attachment 1751767

Guardian interview, February 2014
View attachment 1751787
Guardian article in June 2019.
View attachment 1751769

Also, back on the subject of the fire service, here’s didn’t happen of the year eleventybillion+1
View attachment 1751821And didn’t happen of the year eleventybillion+2. Yeah, Of course they did.
View attachment 1751822
She’s SO full of utter bleeping nonsense that it’s almost laughable.
See now - this is something that truly makes me livid. *I* am military round the edges, with bells on. Forces brat, grand brat and great grand brat. I see no -ing evidence of being honorable, truthful, decent, shying from public recognition, having a cast iron work ethic that never lets on, always thinking of others first. I have no words to describe how much this particular cosplay offends me.
Sorry, ninnies.
 
  • Like
  • Heart
  • Sad
Reactions: 56
That person was VERY mean to die despite Jack's best efforts. Likely they did it to troll her. Can you imagine having the AUDACITY to die while you have THE Jack Monroe on the phone, trying to save your life?

It occurred to me, by the way, dearest Fraus, that if deaths in fires are so relatively rare in the UK then it'd probably have been in the press, right? Do we know when St Jack was in the fire service? Because they say the internet never forgets, and it seems like the tragic incident could be confirmed 🔺 by a bit of a Google if it was in doubt?

But I trust her when she says she cannot lie. 😇
Jack: Fire service. Celebrity campaigner Jack Monroe speaking.
Pov: Help! The house is on fire! I’m dying!
Jack: Ahem, I said this is Jack Monroe.
Pov: Wait, like the author?
Jack: Boo, I guess.
 
  • Haha
  • Like
  • Heart
Reactions: 90
I’ve never really managed to listen to Jack’s singing voice but Christ her TALKING voice on these vids. Not so much vocal fry as deep pan vocal fry-up. It sounds like a robot running down and scraping its lower register, like HAL singing “daisy” as it dies. And in contrast to this zero effort drone is her constant shaking and deep nervous breathing. She looks like she’s guilty as hell under police interrogation when she’s just on a mummy and baby podcast.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
  • Heart
Reactions: 43
She laughed about accidentally breaking SBs arm when she pushed his swing too hard. She loves boasting about assaulting others. She's 'decked' her brother, thrown a book at an art director and kicked someone in the shins. Or maybe she's lying.
And she threw her pencil case at Kelvin McKenzie 'for The 96'.
Oh and also defended liquids being thrown at politicians. Even when Michael Portillo pointed out the physical threats politicians get all the time, and the fear that liquid might be acid.
 
  • Like
  • Sad
  • Angry
Reactions: 52
She laughed about accidentally breaking SBs arm when she pushed his swing too hard. She loves boasting about assaulting others. She's 'decked' her brother, thrown a book at an art director and kicked someone in the shins. Or maybe she's lying.

My mother would laugh about such things. Hilarious little anecdotes about 'I said I'd wash his mouth out with soap and water - and I did!' she bleeping waterboarded him with fairy liquid and sink water until he nearly suffocated/drowned in foam and water. 'I told him not to steal food and just - oh, so funny - I went to tap his hand but forgot I was holding the carving knife at the time!'he needed stitches 'I told her that if she was a bully and pushed him, I'd let her know what being pushed around was really like!' down the bleeping stairs 'Oh, it was so funny to see her smug face after I'd said my piece!' she hissed at the right year old next door that she was going to burn her Mummy's house down because she'd complained to the council about the state of the rubbish piled up against their fence.

She laughed all the way to my brother being put on the At Risk Register and her being threatened with eviction. And then, obviously, became the pawr ickle victim of domestic violence and defenceless ickle old lady who couldn't cope with keeping the garden tidy. A way of life for decades - decades that left a trail of abused children behind her. But oh, those stories were so funny - as though her laughing meant they couldn't possibly be admissions of violent abuse or veiled threats of further violence towards you because hey, she's got away with all those other things, what makes you think that anybody would ever believe you when she'll just give a tinkly little laugh and tell them that it's actually a really funny story?


bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • Heart
  • Sad
  • Like
Reactions: 122
Hang on, the Guardian is promoting a live online talk with Jack?!? After all the recent shite she's incited and her record of lies? I think as many of us as can do it should sign up for this event and do the online equivalent of a "NO PLATFORM FOR LIARS" protest.
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: 55
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.