Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

[Jelly Bean]

Jack! Dresserman is all up in your niche! Has even stolen (which is allowed tbf) two thirds of your VBI initials! Call policios.

 

[Wooh]

I absolute saw this! Big huge red flag! It’s just not necessary, in fact I think if you asked pretty much any professional who had knowledge and experience of such situation, “should I invite my very new recovering alcoholic friends round to mine so they can be a role model my for my darling child?’, the reply would be ‘probs maybe not the best plan on SO many levels’ … just hazarding a guess here …

The AA folk are also likely to come and go. It's not the same as consistent role modelling.

Spoiler: Bit of a "proud of myself, but not showoffy" me rail

I have friends who are fathers plural to their daughter. It makes me burst with pride and love when she turns to me for that different view or confirmation or trampoline rumble that she might not get with her Dads, (sometimes in rumbles I think it's as primitive as feeling a female body.) "Can I tell you something?" "What's it like having breasts?" And I have worked jolly hard to achieve that. I turn up. I have turned up for 8 years so that I'm part of her life furniture. It's not rock and roll all the time, either. But when she slips her hand into mine because her Dads aren't there and she needs an adult, or declares "it's not BOSSY to be a leader, you wouldn't say that to a boy", and if she takes me for granted because she can RELY on me, or farts in my face, then I've done it right, and *that's* role modelling, I think.

 

[BlendedSlop]

She's trying to get out of walking Content already. Nice try Jack, but you'll also need to find someone for the six days out of the week SB isn't there x

 

[instacharlie]

Retweeting herself again
View attachment 1396311

This is your regular reminder that if you see someone stealing bikes, lawnmowers, Grandad's bloody battered and scorched orange Le Creuset pans, and other random shit from a ramshackle, rickety old bungalow in Thorpe Bay, you didn't see a rucking thing mind your own business

 

[Lazarus]

Do you have a scamberley egg recipe Laz? I can't work out how to scramble eggs and there's no possible other way to find out. Thanks for all you do

Yes, absolutely! X

it’s in book 12.

Two teaspoons of turmeric (4p),
half a can of aquafaba (11p)
drizzle of cold oil (0.8p)
rind of a sad, bottom of the fridge lemon (free as I had it in already),
one egg (smart price caged, sad hen 7p)
put it all in a blender (£150 though cheaper options available and I found mine by the roadside),
then into a slow cooker overnight (£80 RRP but I got mine in a charity shop for a quid).
serves 4 hungry mouths with enough left over for the community kitchen mid week. It’s Geoffs favourite.

 

[10to2]

Can I just blow my own trumpet here and say that I was a thread behind but I hadn’t realised, I came across the most brilliant comment re writing style making me wish I’d never learnt to read and then I spent five minutes trying to figure out why I couldn’t quote it to say please someone, anyone make this a thread title. Eventually I copped on that there must be another thread, went to find it and lo and behold…. It’s the thread title . Quite proud of my spotting a star/ publishing prowess, unlike jacks bloody publisher.

 

[Sweetcouchpotato]

I'm still thinking about the prat who claimed during the 70s on a council estate a burglar burgled a house for food and left a sweet apology note. I grew up on a council estate in the 70s. My family was poor. We ran out of food at the end of each week and on pay day my dad would go get food in his lunch break and bring it to the house so we could have lunch.

People shared with neighbours in need, either food or labour or time. We didn't burgle each other. If you're the sort of person who would rob someone you'll do it for whatever reason. If that's not you and your kids are hungry, you'll swallow your pride and knock on doors asking for a loaf of bread.

These idiots playing Jack's game turn my stomach. They make people think if I'm struggling to feed my kid or get formula, I can't tell the school or the health visitor or turn to a neighbour or friend because I might lose my kid (that was Jack's version of why she had to endure The Poverty in Noble Silence) so it's better to risk an arrest or even a conviction for shoplifting or burglary.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

So let me get this timeline correct? In March she was in an “endless cycle of perpetual personal dissatisfaction”. Poor Jack. Perpetually endless. That must have been quite something. ANYWAY, wasn’t deliciously ordinary OH of the big car who she’s devastated at losing knocking around back then? So she was either in this relationship she’s devastated at losing while in a miasma of personal discontent, or the OH she’s devastated at losing wasn’t even around in early March. I don’t really care either way, mind you. It’s just more in the cycle of perpetually endless performative nonsense.

And Jack, you pathetic twee twit, you may feel as cute as a tiny shiny button, but you look as shite as a rancid leg of mutton. So there’s that.

 

[moldwarp]

Adding to previous thread recap to say that Jack tweeted 1,000 words of the Hunger Names, her serious political book, and it was gonad-shrivellingly dreadful.

 

[colouredlines]

Thank you friend for the pringles!

 

[Phillipa78]

Ok, I've had a quick go. Send orderos!

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

On a grunk so not sure if this has already been posted but Dresserman has a Twitter thread with his view on Lurkpakgate and tagging.

This particular tweet. If she sees it, she'll be fuming.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I'm afraid I agree that from the evidence she puts on SM, Jack is a terrible parent.
She seems to go out of her way to belittle and infantilise her son.
The poor kid is still trying to process the absence of Harold. Who Jack introduced into the family unit far far too soon. On top of that Louisa leaving, and his stepmother - his siblings mother. And his own mother's prolonged stay in the aparthotel last year.
Add to that allowing him to go cold and hungry for, what were the reasons again? ~checks notes~ ah, embarrassment, that excellent reason to let a toddler suffer.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[panda_eyes]

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

 

[Brian Butterfield]

THANKYOU, SQUIG!

ETA not swuiggling Independent Voices as they have 20k followers.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Jack Monroe wants to be leader of the conservative party. Pass it on.

 

[LavaFlake]

she’s hit the press again! Tried to copy over.

Daily Mail
Shoplifters of the world unite! Food blogger says it’s no big deal to steal your meal.

A food blogger has turned thousands of years of law and order on its head by suggesting ‘it’s ok to shoplift.’
Jack Monroe, known for her 9p badly-costed recipes and school essay ‘Potatoes’ told her 540k followers on Twitter that it was acceptable to steal what they needed from shops.
Despite securing five-figure deals with a host of major brands including Sainsbury’s, Del Monte, Hellman’s and Superdrug, the heavily-tattooed mum from Essex threw off her capitalist shackles in a late night rant - after being angered at the rising price of Lurpack butter.
Unable to see the irony as she typed furiously on one of her phones from her £850k detached home, she said: “I know major organised theft has an impact on corporate profit margins, but when they pay their CEOs £5million a year while refusing their cleaning colleagues a living wage, and keep their checkout staff on poverty wages to bolster their shareholder profits, frankly fuck them.”
Jack, who last year vented about burglars stealing old receipts, pots and a lawnmower without a battery from her garage, told her fans she had given a talk to Superdrug employees where she had said it was acceptable to steal from stores. She also told her followers it was their ‘civic duty’ to steal ‘do not steal’ signs.
A spokesman for Superdrug said: “We knew what we were getting involved with when we hired her. She’s a maverick.”
Shop owner Iqbal, Jack’s former landlord added: “First she left some bags full of shit in my flat, now she’s telling people to steal from shops. With this attitude she deserves to be in government. Is she OK?”

I genuinely believed this real til you got to the quotes

 

[BubbleDuck]

Even if I were the same size as my 13 yr old daughter or 14yr old son, I can not imagine a situation were we had a communal wardrobe. Don’t get me wrong, my daughter has laid claim to almost every single band T-shirt I own which she wears as oversized T-shirt dresses ( which tbh is just rubbing salt into the wound ), and I have to ask to borrow back any of my accessories and make up , but it’s very much a one way street.

SB is almost a teenager . He is a nearly fully formed human being in his own right, with his own personality and identity . How is the poor kid meant to work out who he is if his near middle aged , very middle class mother keeps trying to copy him