Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read

[MancBee]

I really need to see that!

There's a couple...

 

[Django]

It's ok, it didn't happen.

Jack wants the squigs to think her son lives with her.

Why do they think something like this though?

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Awks.
Are you not aware of her body of U turn work?

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

not even her son's puberty is private.

 

[Candytuft]

I used to take Night Nurse to help me sleep when my husband died. Three years of 24 hours caring for him really jiggered up my sleeping patterns. It did work, I can't lie but I wouldn't take it again.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

In the time I’ve been following these threads Jack must have retired to bed with an illness at least 12 times

So you've only been following a couple of days?

 

[Dogmuck]

Just wanted to bring this wee exchange over from the last thread because a. she's that thick she can't see this person is taking the piss, and making the point that nobody does either of these things and b 'get that clout, hero' is

View attachment 1395959

If it wasn’t so late in the last thread “get that clout, hero” would have been a top nom for thread title. Chapeau this squig.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

I'm still grunking the last thread but I'd just like to wholeheartedly thank anyone who posted the sideboard thot shots and nip slip. I woke up having dreamed I got nominated to take one for the team and go on a Tinder date with Jack. Two heavily disguised Frauen followed along to keep an eye on things (can't remember who sorry) and - after a monorail crash interlude and some other bullshit - I realised I was now getting married to her, she was trying to get me to pay her for the catering which she DID NOT DO and I ended up having to escape through an overly complex hedge maze covered in huge portraits of various iterations of Jack.

I'm not reading through this thread before bed ever again. I actually remember trying to explain to you all that she's 'fun to spend time with really she's just a complete conwoman' and believing myself.

 

[Lazarus]

Oh gawwwd that's the interview where she decided to play sex strumpet and turned up for the photoshoot in a corset, claiming she'd spilled lunch on her jumper. Then took to Twitter to claim she whipped off her jumper AT lunch and sat in the restaurant in her underwear because she's such a lil wild and free firework.

I was wrong before. Sex Jack is marginally worse than Anarchist Jack.

Anyway she'll be happy with the numbers on her 'shoplfters of the world unite' tweet. 53k likes. That'll be enough for Jack. She's not interested in helping the poor....but she is very interested in going viral on Twitter.

She absolutely loves using those tattoo's as a point for discussion, doesn't she?


There’s also a wedding to plan, some time next year, which gave Monroe pause to reconsider her tattoos.
“I had a very fleeting aww, I’m not going to look like brides on the front of magazines,” she says. “But then I thought I’m going to look bloody awesome, I’m going to be punk as hell!

She's about as punk as Sandi Thom when she was singing she wished she was a punk rocker with flowers in her hair.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I'm grunking but wanted to bring up Jack's general attitude to victims of substance abuse. She really has no clue and her attitude proves how cushioned her lifestyle is. She is literally wrapped in cotton wool.

Drug abuse is a major issue in Scotland. One of our nearby towns is especially bad for it. You can't walk through the High St without being approached. I have every sympathy for addicted people because it is a disease and also far too easy to fall victim to. But it's also terrifying to be accosted out and about by someone who is desperate and or high and is 9 times out of 10, a man. As a woman, I feel extra vulnerable. Too many women are attacked in public, in broad daylight and even by people we are supposed to be able to trust. We are threatened with sexual violence or threats against our children. It's horrific, there is a real epidemic of gender based violence just now, I'm surprised Jack doesn't address that but I probably shouldn't be. So forgive me Jack if I feel wary and unwilling to cosy up to an addicted person or God forbid report them if they attack me or someone else in front of me.

 

[colouredlines]

God I hope Greenbelt was the festival where Jack blacked out for three days and woke up in someone else's clothes (maybe even someone else's cassock?). One minute it's "pray peace for me" and the next she's doing a keg stand with the blood of Christ wine and snorting ketamine off a nun's ass, followed by Bez-style dancing to Christian rock and maybe even a bit of the old premarital.

 

[Boyo]

You most definitely did not imagine it.

I don't know that she ever publically walked back the testosterone/binder/double-mastectomy-plans, but in this fairly nauseating interview she asks the interviewer to use the pronoun "she".

Jack Monroe, Bootstrap Cook interview - spilling the beans on tins, Twitter and talking about gender

The campaigning cook is on a mission to help everyone on a budget find the fun in feeding themselves

www.scotsman.com

I read this…

and all I could think was…

 

[jenny2603]

Very thankful that she's never shown even a remote amount of interest in Wales. My condolences to Scotland, mind.

She was bandying cwtch around a while back. I would urge Welsh frauen not to panic but remain vigilant.

 

[EllaEm87]

Her mate Marcus doing GOOD THINGS again. I’m sure she’s somewhere in the background.

 

[MancBee]

I'm still thinking about the prat who claimed during the 70s on a council estate a burglar burgled a house for food and left a sweet apology note. I grew up on a council estate in the 70s. My family was poor. We ran out of food at the end of each week and on pay day my dad would go get food in his lunch break and bring it to the house so we could have lunch.

People shared with neighbours in need, either food or labour or time. We didn't burgle each other. If you're the sort of person who would rob someone you'll do it for whatever reason. If that's not you and your kids are hungry, you'll swallow your pride and knock on doors asking for a loaf of bread.

These idiots playing Jack's game turn my stomach. They make people think if I'm struggling to feed my kid or get formula, I can't tell the school or the health visitor or turn to a neighbour or friend because I might lose my kid (that was Jack's version of why she had to endure The Poverty in Noble Silence) so it's better to risk an arrest or even a conviction for shoplifting or burglary.

100% this.

I couldn't count the number of times I was asked to "nip to auntie so and so and see if she's got a few spuds I can borrow". Or shilling for the meter, or few rounds of bread, or a bucket of coal for the fire.

By the way, everyone was our auntie, as most of my true aunties lived in Wales.

 

[Ostapbender]

New Guardian piece just dropped
"As I sat in my rented house, watching Boris Johnson at the Liaison committee tweets while my son mowed the lawn, I remembered a girl I once knew. A slim, rascally creature of two and twenty, the girl had been unjustly not allowed to return to the job she had resigned from weeks before and cast out on the lonely ocean of benefit applications and food insecurity without so much as a paddle to cling on to. The mother of an apple cheeked toddler, she watched her son's cheeks wither as she pulled him from pillar to post, caked in layers of unbathed dirt, Metro chafing below, ferociously and forlornly applying for job after job as a bevy of managers turned their backs. And as I watched my son put up the arch that had fallen down, tears began to race down my cheeks. My name is Jack Monroe and this is my fucking story again"

 

[Lazarus]

Scrambly egg, surely?

Scamberley, actually. Now please fuck off and leave me and my dog to enjoy the rest of our evening.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Agreed and one of the warning bells for me last night was when she was talking about male role models for her son and mentioned that she has men from her AA group around him. I really hope she's being EXTREMELY selective about that. In my experience of many years in recovery, men newly into AA can be quite volatile, obviously both men and women are but statistically male alcoholics and addicts are more likely to have form for violence, abuse and predatory behaviour caused by their addiction, or they're just arseholes. Ive been in situations in my naive early recovery where I've felt very scared in the rooms with male addicts violently kicking off, one pulled a knife on me once, one of my sponsees had a very unstable early recovery guy stalking her etc.

I am NOT making generalisations here about men in recovery, simply making the point that alkies and addicts can be volatile people especially in early recovery so there is a risk around who you invite into your home especially if you're a single woman and they're a dude. So I hope she is exercising appropriate caution.

Besides everything you say, it's just completely unnecessary for her to have ~strange men~ surrounding SB, the point of a 'male role model' is not to have some randoms Jack met a few months ago coming into his life. SB has his dad and his granddads, that's enough for anyone, but of course Jack has to have the most male friends ever in an effort to prove how great of a mother she is. When all it proves is exactly the opposite.

 

[Shawads]

Sorry. ok so I have just discovered today that family members have moved into the rather poor down trodden neighbourhood of Thorpe Bay, not only that, they are not close enough to smell the lingering honk of the shitty bungalow but they certainly are close enough to watch the tree those former bastard but now agreeable tree surgeons were going to destroy and close enough to see the signpost for a certain lawn tennis club! Which means at some point we will visit and I will put on my thicker glasses just in case I see any LurpakJack / Burglar Bill type characters lurching after dark towards Tesco Express in search of nightmeat! I will warn them that they may need to enhance the fencing around the property to keep any wild Pumbles at bay.

I live for this

Yes, jack, I do need to get a life.
Mine is hard and sad right now and you are a fucking great distraction and also a reminder of how not to act when the shitness of it all starts making me feel bitter.

Go well my thieving friend.
Go well

 

[jenny2603]

On a side note, why do these dweebs always pick Hugh Grant for Prime Minister? Just because he was in a movie? Do they know nothing else about him? I mean, surely no one is looking at Boris and saying, "The problem with this guy is...not enough sex scandals!"

Fantasy cabinet people are howling idiots. They're often the same people who think the Queen uses hats and brooches to communicate with them about their boring centrist politics with them. I would place them all in my fantasy bin.