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Veronicaaa

VIP Member
someone curiously missing from this article (i think i hear the faint sound of wailing and the ripping open tins of smartprice prunes with their bare hands...don't they know tinned fish is JACK'S ENTIRE NICHE etc etc)

I can’t believe it’s not Nutella! Chefs’ and food writers’ favourite grocery bargains | Life and style | The Guardian

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So many of Jack's favourites in that article! Sardines, stock cubes, spaghetti, beans, ketchup and peanut butter. LOL at Judy Joo saying of the peanut butter that "importantly, it doesn't use palm oil" before going on to suggest that Nutella sub which lists palm oil second in its ingredients.

In other news, I've been entertaining myself a bit this morning by checking out the quote tweets of Jack's shopping list thread. Lots of negative ones, I've just captured a couple of my faves -

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Hi and hello! What brought you here? We always like to know when the scales from all the fish fell from peoples eyes regarding our smol pixie...
Here in the US, pro-smol pixie articles made a brief tour through the FB pages of some young self-described socialists I happen to know. They were all excited about her not-quite-half-baked, Twitter-sourced inflation index. I may have been pointedly skeptical as this sort of thing is somewhat in my professional wheelhouse. 🔺

I was told that I should ‘educate myself’ about this paragon of poverty. So I did.

Howdy!
 
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BlendedSlop

VIP Member
Also have to share these, because she's pissed me off with her Friday night beg and I'm feeling petty:

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I've decided to just start making shit up for attention like Jack. I don't have a job because I am so stunningly beautiful and socially competent it intimidates everyone who beholds me. Nigella once proposed to me but I had to turn her down because my cat didn't want to move to London. When I was at school I was handpicked to take my A levels two years early and was declared the most gifted child in all of the northern hemisphere. Last week a group of men were laughing at me in the gym so I bench pressed 100kg and then spin-kicked all of them in the shins like a possessed Beyblade.

This is fun, I'm starting to see why she does it.
 
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BlendedSlop

VIP Member
Screenshot_20220218-203024_Twitter.jpg


Thing is, squig, she makes a living. A very good one, at that, for doing the very occasional bit of work and spending the rest of her time leeching off the followers she dupes into believing she's working 80 hour unpaid working weeks. She earns more through Patreon alone than many people get for doing full time jobs, gives her donors nothing in return, lives a life of luxury yet somehow can't pay her rent. Can you honestly say this adds up at all?

But I'm not sure why I'm bothering to explain, considering you're a trainee grifter who's desperate for their own thread on here and is probably hoping the Panhandler Queen throws you a bone at some point.

At least there's always someone who sees through the grift:

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Mel Donte

Chatty Member
Christ. I don't think I've ever felt sorry for a landlord before but here we are. Imagine getting this call after months of 'bounced' rent:

Jack: "Hi. My loft hatch is open"
Landlord: "Ok. Have you tried closing it?"
Jack: "I'm far too smol 🥺"
Landlord: "Could you try standing on a sideboard?"
Jack: "I CAN'T I've got MASSIVE TITS and ARTHRITIS and my wife LEFT😡"
 
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Five hundred dogs

VIP Member
One of the things that didn’t make it into the final cut of my transcript from yesterday (and in retrospect probably should have done) was her saying that if ‘it all went away’ as in her success, she’d be perfectly happy working on the tills at Tesco. It was one of those things she initially said in a slightly dismissive way, then modified it with how there was nothing wrong with working on a check out.

Doing the transcript actually made me notice quite a few linguistic moments like that. One I left in was her talking about having lunch at her single mums Sure Start group, she used the phrase ‘enforced socialisation’ to describe what I assume was the portion of the group time which wasn’t spent eating (or stuffing left overs into Tupperware). I found that interesting, she didn’t want to spend time with the others, she was forced into it if she wanted food. I’m going to hazard a guess she basically saw herself as better than the others, she was a maverick middle class grammar school girl down on her luck, not one of your regular poors.

Another thing was her use of the word puppyish to describe herself, she used it at least three times. I know this isn’t new information but it tells us so much about how she sees herself and how she wants to be perceived. Puppies can never be blamed for anything they do wrong, they do everything with 100% energy and commitment but because they’re going full pelt they can make unintended mistakes, and these mistakes must always be instantly forgiven because they’re small, young and adorable and know no better. That’s how Jack wants the world to treat her.
 
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SweetTransvestite

VIP Member
Can you imagine a Jack X Asda collab? Shot in b&w, a sad piano dirge playing softly but thoughtfully in the background and Jack bravely overcoming her fears on voiceover. 'When I was a yadda yadda etc'
Slowly, in broken boots wandering the aisles, counting the pennies from down the back of the gifted sofa, picking things up and with a slow shake of the head putting them back. As a solitary tear hits a 45p bag of rice a shaft of light hits Jack <the screen turns to colour>.
A hand is extended towards Jack and pulls her out of despair... but it's not Jesus, it is Mr Asda looking alot like Jesus. He cradles Jack like a smol, tired, battle weary warrior then whispers 'I was always with you, let's win this fight...for all the poors'. Then kisses her head.
[End scene].
 
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Terrible

VIP Member
So do people on a £20 budget normally buy prunes and anchovies?
I hope she shits herself into oblivion.
 
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DinosaurSenior

VIP Member
If one of my customers got in touch and said their parcel never showed up, my response certainly wouldn't be..."yeah I know, weird isn't it".

I'd bend over backwards to sort it out, track it, resend. God she's such a nob
 
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Imagine being so desperate for attention after the comedown of going viral that you will resort to telling people about a shitting crisis for a few measly likes on Twitter. Also imagine at the same time being one of those hundreds of squigs who started following her in the wake of the announcement of the Volatile Backbiter Index to see all that. I'll be interested to see what happens to her Socialblade tonight, there's probably going to be a mass squig exodus.

Anyway I'm off forever now. I'm shedding my corporeal form to go and live on the spiritual plane. I don't care to live in a world where the combination of prunes, bacon and anchovies with black beans is a legitimate consideration for someone's dinner.
 
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