Beach Walks and Hugging Friends (the funny thing is she could have given several vlogs this title over the last 15 months)
Description: The 4/6 of the gang got together properly for a beach walk, pubs and laughs.
As is Helen's signature style, the vlog titles don't match up
At this stage I think we're all more familiar with Helen's kettle than our own.
She's having a nice long beach walk with friends, they've had it in the diary for WEEKS.
Helen disappears into the cupboard "I'm just getting, preparing coffee break... for us" and waves a mug in the air (Sorry what?) Note the sink full of mugs
We're treated to a nice view of the fridge as she clatters around with 500 mugs
'The wevver this week as bin awful but it's not gonna stop us'. Even Covid regulations didn't stop you Helen, no one is surprised.
She's got her mugs for coffee and her corksickle (??? Am I meant to know what this is? I guess it's a brand of flask)
She rummages through the snack basket (because that's a thing)
She shouts at Dianne to stop barking as she shoves some snacks into her bag. 'She doesn't know she's coming wiv me'.
'That might be too many snacks' literally sounds like enough to fill everyone's party bags is rustling around in there. How long is this walk?!
Arse shots are back again. (Has this hallway always looked like the red light district?). Time for the dogs to be put on their harnesses.
Helen calls to Dianne to 'come here'. Of course Dianne gives zero shits because she hasn't been trained and Helen is calling her Deedee. Helen makes a noise like an ogre and Dianne runs off. Well played.
And we're in the car talking about shit. No, literally. Helen doesn't know what's giving her bowel problems. 'Well it can't be dairy because I'm drinking oat milk'
They're about to find out if Helen is OK with caffeine..... because of course you'd do this when you're going on a walk and you're having digestive problems.
The next logical step in the poop equivalent of Russian roulette is, of course, have a Mcdonalds for breakfast.
'We're on the road and I'm I'm giving Ellie a lift to the seaside.. in convoy. Save the planet' (she doesn't know what convoy or save the planet mean clearly)
Helen has been telling Ellie about how her first caffeinated drink of the day makes her need a shit. Lucky Ellie, lucky US!
She's only had a couple of sips of the tea that Fiwl made her this morning. Helen explains the many legs of the journey today, because of course she's off gallivanting around as much as possible using as many modes of transport as possible
'The bus is at 9.33. We've got enough time to get there'. She hasn't said what time it is now or how far away it is so.... this means nothing.
Helen's bag falls off the back seat, it sounds like she's packed the entire kitchen in there.
It's been awhile but she's back eating and driving. Safety first, kids!
'I don't feel like I'm going to poop my pants'.
I might poop MY pants if she keeps multi tasking while driving! LOOK AT THE ROAD!
Please tell me these dogs are secured in the boot of the car...
'Deedee don't start, Lola get down!'
Forget food hygiene friends, she needs road safety friends.
Now they're jiggling the digs around chanting 'Heidi's having a poo' (no, I don't know either).
They're all together and going on a coastliner
I fast forwarded... sorry I'm whizzing through the rest. How does Luna do it?
Helen films her friend having a wee.... how do they put up with this? I'd be fuming!
The bald patch is back
Coffee
Helen on a swing
Quality footage of Helen inside a pub. That new camera was worth the investment!
She talks about her 'vegetarian lifestyle'
They randomly sing Dick Van Dyke's song Chim Chim Cheree from Mary Poppins, (is it a nod to us?) Helen asks Dianne if she had a nice walk.
She sings 'I love pints' and shows us her wrap.
She's got her mask on and mumbling about an ice cream van (I think, I'm watching on double speed at this point)
Helen asks to stroke someone's dog (what pandemic?!) And says she'd love a Bassett Hound. More quality footage. Why would we want to see a cute dog when we can see this?
Oh wait
Hang on, why's she on about Bassett hounds when this is a Beagle!? (Maybe I misheard her or I'm going mad, but I cant rewind and watch again, sorry.)
Sorry I've lost the will, but she has an ice cream and drives home. The end.