Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[Ohheyyyyy]

This has made me so depressed. I was hoping you'd say he was in his early 20s.
I give up

sorry!

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Be prepared to become addicted

Good addiction though right? I have a list started and I’ll try buy myself one for special occasions

 

[Sprottish]

He was in touch after I got home and we’ve been texting as normal? No mention of a second date, but he definitely didn’t drink as much last night, just a couple of glasses of wine.. However on Saturday he had had a lottttt to drink. We went ice skating and then had a drink and it was a good laugh, but he was very… different? Just cooler?


Yeah he’s been in touch! But no mention of a second date so I don’t really know what he is thinking at all the date was nice, we had fun and stuff to talk about, but he was much more reserved and controlled over his drinking? He’s either not feeling it anymore and being nice by texting me last night and today or is totally embarrassed

Please forgive me if I'm wrong (I've just had a scroll back to double check but still can't be sure!) but this was the guy that got really possessive and was pulling you away from other people that night, is that right?

Like the others have said perhaps he was just drunk and silly. Yes okay, it's a classic sign of love bombing, but I also had a hint of this from a guy once and I called him out, and he was genuinely shocked that I wasn't flattered by him "being protective and loving." He wasn't a bad guy either, he never did it again (albeit i only saw him a handful of times) but I really believe he was acting on it because he thought I'd find it endearing or make me feel like he liked me.

I'm starting to wonder if I am always making excuses for guys I am a bitof a sucker for giving someone the benefit of the doubt, it'll probably bite me on the arse again soon.

 

[lurkingaround123]

Has anyone ever had multiple dates on the same day? I am not sure I could cope lol

Not multiple dates because I feel like sometimes if you're having a laugh out for drinks or something it doesn't have a set finish time so it'd be awkward to cut it short and meet someone else

However earlier this year (before counselling changed my life) I went on a date with this guy, then got in my car, drove home and met the guy I had been sleeping with and also definitely had feelings for but made out I didn't

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Gang, I’m 47 so do you think it’s too good to be true that an attractive 49 year old would be interested in me? Or is it that I have a big house and a great job…..I’m so sorry for asking this but I’m so fucking tired of the bullshit and so jaded. I mean why isn’t he with a 40 year old? I mean yeah I’m attractive and have a good body etc…. But if something seems too good to be true it usually is yeah?

Also, he’s a landscaper, which I’m not remotely judgemental of, good for him and I like a man who’s good with his hands ahem! But unlikely to have a great pension….and the killer….. he has a 4 year old with a fling post his divorce. Some seems off…..but I don’t know if it’s me being bitter and angry due to the last few months disappointments

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I honestly have no idea. Maybe because I'm genuinely not looking for someone really. If it's arranged then I'll go but I guess it means my expectations low because I know I'll be fine regardless.

I'm all grown up!

How did you meet and how come he asked you out?

 

[newtoyou]

Errr.... he was being a perv!!!

I know It was a particularly stupid method of perving. It amazes me how they can turn every topic into sex

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I can relate to that.
I decided to date the guy that now recently moved over the summer and it did hurt to think about his move. He was the one that brought me the orange roses when we met one last time last weekend. We also got on well, did lots of nice things together and the sex was amazing, but there were also things I didn't like - he was a bit selfish and had ghosted/ignored me for a week a few times.

I try not to think about him, but also met a few other guys on the apps, although I don't like any of them.

A break can't hurt, you can decide how short or long.
What other things would you like to get into? Specific hobbies?

 

[sunshineblush]

What’s better hinge or match.com had no luck on tinder

 

[BunnyLebowski]

It sounds like you two want different things and you have doubts and a gut feeling... why not say good-bye to him now and move on?

I think you’re probably right. I so want to be open to a different type of man but I’m also very cautious. Oh well.

Apologies if my previous advice/posts have not been received well. I have BPD & OCD so I completely understand wrt bad mental health.

Some of the recent advice I've received that's really resonated with me, is that dating is meant to be fun. It's not meant to be stressful and panicked. And we are far too quick to blame ourselves when we don't get a message back or a date was rubbish. I guess in a long winded way, I'm trying to say we shouldn't take it too seriously or let it dictate our mood or self worth

Anyway, happy clappy preaching over lol, off of to clean my bathroom

I’ve got BPD too due to some abuse in my childhood. I also wonder if I have ADHD too….it would explain my previous erratic behaviour, which I’m desperately trying to not repeat.