Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[Thank(space)you]

@ATV2021 I'm so fuming that the live isn't up yet

 

[Thank(space)you]

Im thinking of the guy you thought had no pension because he’s self employed but he turned out to be great

That's who I'm thinking of. I thought him and D are one and the same

 

[sugarytea]

Or maybe they are conscious of their hair loss and feel more comfortable wearing a hat.

Either way a little honesty goes a long way.

 

[nothanksbabes]

So question - during a early dating stages or even a one night thing is it common for guys to just not go down or really do anything for the girl? I was with my ex so long and that would always be included before or after but the 2 people I have slept with since it wasn’t even acknowledged, the sex was good but literally just went from kissing to bj to shag and barely any foreplay. Guess it just depends on the guy maybe?

Most of the men I've slept with recently have been obsessed with giving oral. I'm not fussed about it really, I'd rather give than receive but if they want to, then crack on.

Very recently I was with a guy and he wasn't even interested in penetrative sex, he just wanted to get me off. It was oddly anxiety inducing that he cared so much .

 

[NoseyNiamh]

@realhousewivewannabe the masterclass is on Monday (if not feeling the whole bootcamp) and you can sign up here :

https://www.getyoursoulmate.com/free-masterclass

How many of these kind of things are you signed up to ?

 

[Clementine]

I don’t want to stress her out. At all. Woman to woman though. No?! I had messages from an ex of his when I was 5 months pregnant predicting what he would do. I wish I’d taken heed. Bloody dickhead so he is.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Do you think being a single parent working from home, that my only real options to meet someone is via dating apps? I don't enjoy the apps.

 

[boomska]

Its a tough one. Are you over him? Do you miss him? He treated you poorly it seems and you deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them. It is easy to say from someone else when it’s not them in the middle of the situation but in time it does get better and you should focus on what makes you happy in the moment.

also it depends on whether you are friends on Instagram because I’m nosey andcheck most stories or if he searched you then looked at your story

I’m deffo not over him & I do miss him but that’s normal so i’ve been focusing on me since it’s ended and im doing so much better compared to previous breakups and even he would see the difference after some of the stories I told him! even my friends were shocked that I didn’t message him asking why he’s viewed my story. We’re not friends so he’s had to find my profile and then view it! His profile picture is still her and him so it’s weird but I always had a gut feeling that it wasn’t truly over!

 

[ATV2021]

Why don't you just tell him that you don't think that the two of you are a good match? Then both of you know where you stand.

Well he hasn't even bothered to message in like 3 days & we've not even met so I feel nothing is owed to be honest. Wasn't a specific time or date set for anywhere either...

 

[Thank(space)you]

Is it bad manners/seen as weird to ask to add someone on Instagram before actually meeting IRL? Guy from one of the apps is being quite forthcoming with trying to arrange a date (only matched at the weekend). Seems “too good to be true”. I am worried it’s a catfish or worse someone that will kidnap me Of course I’d only meet in a public place etc etc

I don't think there's anything unusual about this

 

[radoxdetox]

is what I see

My mind went here haha, surely not in Qatar?! They must know what it looks like though

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

A few months ago I fell for this girl, we were kinda dating, didn't really label it but she would come over most days. Anyway, I met her via a mutual friend, she ended up ghosting me.

I saw her last night on a night out, and called her out on the ghosting. I'm over the ghosting and I genuinely have no hard feelings but it was nice to make a sarcastic comment about how she's risen from the dead in time for Halloween etc

How did she react?

 

[ATV2021]

Why are we all ditching the apps all of a sudden. Maybe @Boadicea1 is just going through a dry spell.

Because they're not great are they.... lol I can't ever say they've been a good mood booster for me or made me think that there's something great round the corner if I'm honest

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

What keeps regrowing on her fanny!?

Pubes

 

[AKC0997]

Hey there,

I recognize a lot of myself in your words!

First of all, it's really brave of you to take this step and you will learn a lot from the experience, trust me
I am in a similar situation in the sense that I have not ever been in a "real" relationship at now nearly 27...some days I'm absolutely fine with it, others less but that's how it is. When I speak to my friends about my dating experiences: the ones in relationships do not care or cannot even begin to understand how wild it is out there, and the few singles ones left are too scared to try (and how to blame them)

As you are asking for advice, here are some random thoughts:
- pick a bar (if you are going for a drink) that you know and feel comfortable at (seating, toilets etc. sounds stupid but for me it really helps). For this time I read you were not able to do this but all will still be fine
- I personally like to get seated before the guy if possible, so I don't feel the awkwardness of having to wait in line for the first drink, who pays etc etc
- I always mention by message when we are planning for the date some kind of later plan with my flatmate/a friend/whoever, so it makes it easier to leave if I would want to. If we get on well, I can just say I warned them I'd be late haha
- if it can make you feel any better, the part where you first meet is in my experience ALWAYS a bit weird However this feeling really does fade away after 30+ first dates, I promise You just have to try and embrace it
- focus on what YOU feel about the guy and not the opposite, as another poster said above.
- a reassuring mindset to have: worst case you do not like him so much and you will have spent 1h of your life practicing your conversation skills, always good to have

Voilà, sorry for the long post, I hope this can help but all in all I'm in the same boat so take what I say with a pinch of salt haha
Best of luck for the date

Thanks for your reply, it has really helped. Thank you for sharing about your experiences. I too, am usually okay with being on my own - have kinda gotten used to it. But have now gotten to the point that it would be nice to share experiences with someone. It does feel lonely always being that friend that is single.

He's suggested an indoor golf place - so that's where we are going.

Just one more thing, should I bring a gift or anything along?

Hope your having a good day

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Who’s gonna start the next thread?

 

[Thank(space)you]

Glad you had a good time! Are you still pursuing something with pension guy?

I thought this was pension guy?

 

[Sheabutter]

Do you like him? As in friendly way ? If you think you may enjoy an evening with him go but just make that clear when you accept the invitation? I always think if you are honest and upfront with people it's kinder and no one is confused. If he wants it to be a date as in relationship he has the choice to say no thanks to you and invite someone else.

I want to be on good terms with my neighbor that’s it really. We have very different personalities. He’s high energy and I’m more chilled with anxiety base notes.

Okay, this one or the grandfather one:

Thanks for the invite! It sounds like a lovely time. I’m still practicing social distancing (wild. I know ) Maybe some day in the future you can show me your favorite spot!!


That sounds dirty lol. Anyway, hopefully he finds a new gf and never asks me again. Shall I send this?

ETA: I am still staying home and always wearing a bright blue mask whenever he sees me.

 

[Shinyhappy]

I'm a bit confused reading this. What is the issue? Has he said he definitely wants to be with her but is avoiding her in case they do get back together.

Yeah I think at this point he’s putting off seeing her as he knows he may potentially want to get back with her but I’ve told him they both need closure either way!

 

[Pixipoppy]

Hmm they sound like selfish porn obsessed wankers. If they don’t worship your pussy (sorry to be crass) but honestly they can just fuck off. And in future, never give a BJ before they’ve shown what they can give you. I do actually tell my own daughter this…! She’s 24 before anyone calls social services!

Haha! I just always feel bad asking a guy to do it as I imagine it’s probably quite a gross thing for them to do That’s just my own insecurity I suppose as like many have said a lot of guys actually enjoy it.