Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[ATV2021]

Instant ick on bumble. Downloaded to basically swipe no to everyone again but randomly had a match. Said they've got an inch on me in height so "killers heels in the bedroom please"

Good bleeping bye if you're gonna talk about sex in the second message then this isn't matching my vibe at all. Plus I don't own heels.... I'm 5"11 and clumsy as a drunk giraffe

I replied saying I don't own heels and got "well we can work on that ". So I said nope not feeling this if just going straight to sex talk 3 messages in. Byeeeee

He’s 49, I’m 47… yeah I guess to be brutally honest, I’m concerned he’s more interested in the assets that come with me. He’s being perfectly nice in his approach and no red flags so far…just a gut feeling. We‘re meeting up on Friday so I want to go in open-minded, but right now I just want to punch any man in the face…just for being a man….I HATE YOU MEN!!!

Listen to your gut/intuition and make sure it's your true intuition rather than fear/ego talking. If it is then walk away...

 

[NoseyNiamh]

He’s 49, I’m 47… yeah I guess to be brutally honest, I’m concerned he’s more interested in the assets that come with me. He’s being perfectly nice in his approach and no red flags so far…just a gut feeling. We‘re meeting up on Friday so I want to go in open-minded, but right now I just want to punch any man in the face…just for being a man….I HATE YOU MEN!!!

How does he know about your assets ?

 

[Thank(space)you]

@BunnyLebowski don't sell yourself short you are a catch and any man, regardless of age, is gonna be absolutely lucky to go on a date with you, For you, Not your assets or any other reason you can say.

however if you're getting a bad vibe from him and you think something is off, then cancel.

 

[BunnyLebowski]

How does he know about your assets ?

I guess it started with talking about our jobs…then our kids and me mentioning I have a lodger in my spare bedroom…..so I live in Brighton, I work from home, my daughter has her own room, so does the lodger obviously. He did offer to work on my garden before that so it could be legit.

He said he has a one bedroom flat but he loves it. Fine by me so long as he supports his child and himself.

I think I’m burnt because my ex was such a cocklodger…but I don‘t want to judge a man because he works with his hands () and doesn’t have a corporate pension, because I could be ruling out a lot of good men. Also….you all know I like a bit of rough.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I guess it started with talking about our jobs…then our kids and me mentioning I have a lodger in my spare bedroom…..so I live in Brighton, I work from home, my daughter has her own room, so does the lodger obviously. He did offer to work on my garden before that so it could be legit.

He said he has a one bedroom flat but he loves it. Fine by me so long as he supports his child and himself.

I think I’m burnt because my ex was such a cocklodger…but I don‘t want to judge a man because he works with his hands () and doesn’t have a corporate pension, because I could be ruling out a lot of good men. Also….you all know I like a bit of rough.

I'm in a 4 bedroom townhouse but never thought of myself a woman of means.
I will now though ...thanks Bunny

 

[ATV2021]

I'm in a 4 bedroom townhouse but never thought of myself a woman of means.
I will now though ...thanks Bunny

That's a woman of many means! I have a 2 bed house....but its bloody expensive here. Not quite on the Brighton level of cher-ching but a London commuter town none the less.

Still chatting to the guy who made me say ick. Apparently he's tipsy and didn't mean it the way it was typed I'm being fairly blunt and giving nothing away lol but always fun to talk to someone different of a Saturday evening! He also has interest in the universe/higher powers etc like me which is interesting

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Also, I don’t want to judge because he’s got a little 4 year old girl…a happy accident from a fling. I think a second chance at life like that is a beautiful thing…..i have a few male friends who’ve had babies later in life but not within a partnership. No judgement from me…fair play to those women getting what they want / need. I’m mor concerned with how they support the child.

I mean, I think a partner’s children could well enrich my life and I’m a generous person….but…I’ve been fucked over so many times. My ex husband who wasn’t even my daughter’s dad and refused to give me a baby always said, if he left me, he’d leave with the shirt on his back…..

Well the fucker stung me for well over 50k and going through the menopause…he’s now happily having a baby with a much younger woman.

I am in therapy guys….it’s ok. I’m just trying not to tar all men with the same brush. Just giving the backstory.

I'm in a 4 bedroom townhouse but never thought of myself a woman of means.
I will now though ...thanks Bunny

My dear girl… if we were in a Jane Austin novel, we’d be distant cousins, and I’d invite you to the coast to recuperate after nursing an aunt through her winter years. You’d then swiftly fall in love with my handsome brother and inherit the family mansion….then I’d have to poison your tea

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Well it’s over before the second date. Feeling crushed as it was my first promising date after my LTR ended… he’s decided to take a job overseas in the New Year so has pulled the pin. So sad.

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Well it’s over before the second date. Feeling crushed as it was my first promising date after my LTR ended… he’s decided to take a job overseas in the New Year so has pulled the pin. So sad.

Never mind. There's other fish in the sea.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Well it’s over before the second date. Feeling crushed as it was my first promising date after my LTR ended… he’s decided to take a job overseas in the New Year so has pulled the pin. So sad.

Oh no, that's really sad. So sorry to hear that. How are you feeling? So you are not going to see each other again?

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Oh no, that's really sad. So sorry to hear that. How are you feeling? So you are not going to see each other again?

I’m pretty upset but I feel like I can’t admit that because we have only been on one date? Especially as he was saying he’s going to be working local next year and not away etc and because we clicked on so many levels and there was no red flags I did start to get my hopes up. He didn’t even really say he didn’t want to see me again in the message just said he wasn’t going to be staying in town and will be moving overseas so I did message him back and say I’d still like to get breakfast as a last hurrah and to celebrate his job offer but I haven’t heard back from him and he’s usually a quick texter. Just feeling a bit bummed but I’m sure I’ll be ok.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I’m pretty upset but I feel like I can’t admit that because we have only been on one date? Especially as he was saying he’s going to be working local next year and not away etc and because we clicked on so many levels and there was no red flags I did start to get my hopes up. He didn’t even really say he didn’t want to see me again in the message just said he wasn’t going to be staying in town and will be moving overseas so I did message him back and say I’d still like to get breakfast as a last hurrah and to celebrate his job offer but I haven’t heard back from him and he’s usually a quick texter. Just feeling a bit bummed but I’m sure I’ll be ok.

You should allow yourself to be sad for a while.

I listened to a podcast yesterday and they were talking about how you don't just grieve the relationship and the person when you break-up but also the future you would have had together and in your case it just seemed so promising.

 

[PiesAndLattes]

You should allow yourself to be sad for a while.

I listened to a podcast yesterday and they were talking about how you don't just grieve the relationship and the person when you break-up but also the future you would have had together and in your case it just seemed so promising.

Yes that’s what I’m upset about. I did start to allow myself to think about the future we could have together… I think also, the work he does is what my ex did, and I said I would never date someone in that same position again and it’s triggering those old feelings and wounds from the relationship as my ex decided to go work overseas when we were together just after we got engaged and weren’t in a good place plus his attitude towards work really put a strain on our relationship so I feel like the universe might be telling me I was right with thinking I shouldn’t date someone in the same industry again. But I was hopeful that we would have a nice future together with all our shared interests and conversation. Like we spoke for almost 8 hours on our first date and spoke about good it was! But I will allow myself to be sad for a moment then pick myself back up.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Yes that’s what I’m upset about. I did start to allow myself to think about the future we could have together… I think also, the work he does is what my ex did, and I said I would never date someone in that same position again and it’s triggering those old feelings and wounds from the relationship as my ex decided to go work overseas when we were together just after we got engaged and weren’t in a good place plus his attitude towards work really put a strain on our relationship so I feel like the universe might be telling me I was right with thinking I shouldn’t date someone in the same industry again. But I was hopeful that we would have a nice future together with all our shared interests and conversation. Like we spoke for almost 8 hours on our first date and spoke about good it was! But I will allow myself to be sad for a moment then pick myself back up.

I think it is pretty normal that you started thinking about the future. You clicked and shared an amazing kiss.
Who wouldn't want more?

Give yourself as much time as you need
It really sucks, why can't he have a different job or work around the corner from you.

 

[PiesAndLattes]

I think it is pretty normal that you started thinking about the future. You clicked and shared an amazing kiss.
Who wouldn't want more?

Give yourself as much time as you need
It really sucks, why can't he have a different job or work around the corner from you.

Yes that’s what sucks, I literally had the most cliché amazing rom com style first date and kiss and then bombshell I’m moving overseas. I’m hoping he still might want to catch up but it will probably honestly hurt more so it might not be a bad thing if he says no / doesn’t text back.

But I probably will take some time off the apps, this stings ALOT post break up and I am ready to date but I am realising I am not ready for the hurt that comes with dating so I might just have a break and get back into my therapy and other things for a while.

 

[Clickbait]

If you look at it another way @PiesAndLattes you might be projecting all these wonderful character traits onto someone you barely know who could have turned out to be a total arse.

The positive from this is that you put yourself out there and were open to meeting someone and seeing where things went.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I can relate to that.
I decided to date the guy that now recently moved over the summer and it did hurt to think about his move. He was the one that brought me the orange roses when we met one last time last weekend. We also got on well, did lots of nice things together and the sex was amazing, but there were also things I didn't like - he was a bit selfish and had ghosted/ignored me for a week a few times.

I try not to think about him, but also met a few other guys on the apps, although I don't like any of them.

A break can't hurt, you can decide how short or long.
What other things would you like to get into? Specific hobbies?

 

[PiesAndLattes]

If you look at it another way @PiesAndLattes you might be projecting all these wonderful character traits onto someone you barely know who could have turned out to be a total arse.

The positive from this is that you put yourself out there and were open to meeting someone and seeing where things went.

Thanks, I do agree that I barely do know him and he could have been a total arse but from face value he was pretty genuine and open about a lot of things. I dipped my toe in the pond but I’m taking it out and taking a break haha.

I can relate to that.
I decided to date the guy that now recently moved over the summer and it did hurt to think about his move. He was the one that brought me the orange roses when we met one last time last weekend. We also got on well, did lots of nice things together and the sex was amazing, but there were also things I didn't like - he was a bit selfish and had ghosted/ignored me for a week a few times.

I try not to think about him, but also met a few other guys on the apps, although I don't like any of them.

A break can't hurt, you can decide how short or long.
What other things would you like to get into? Specific hobbies?

Pilates for one, just re-opened here! Reading more now university is over and getting back into hiking

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Thanks, I do agree that I barely do know him and he could have been a total arse but from face value he was pretty genuine and open about a lot of things. I dipped my toe in the pond but I’m taking it out and taking a break haha.



Pilates for one, just re-opened here! Reading more now university is over and getting back into hiking

Sounds great!
I also want to start a yoga and a writing challenge on the 1st.
I also decluttered and want to sell a few things so I kind of live in a warehouse now. Lots of boxes with clothes everywhere
And I bought some painting supply and thought that maybe I could try a YouTube tutorial tonight. Let's see

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Sounds great!
I also want to start a yoga and a writing challenge on the 1st.
I also decluttered and want to sell a few things so I kind of live in a warehouse now. Lots of boxes with clothes everywhere
And I bought some painting supply and thought that maybe I could try a YouTube tutorial tonight. Let's see

That sounds lovely! I have also done a big declutter too which has helped me seperate my “old” life with my ex etc. Very soothing haha.
The painting also sounds great! Let me know how you go.