Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[Thank(space)you]

@ATV2021 @NoseyNiamh Did you do the challenge? I just posted mine I feel so excited knowing my soul mate is coming

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Yip really I think it’s the way he’s phrased it that sounds presumptuous, he should have asked for mine and then I could chose whether to give it or not! This shifts the dynamic for me.
I generally don’t want my WhatsApp being blown up by guys I haven’t met or don’t have a set date with though

I like to move on to WhatsApp after one day of messages (if I am enjoying the chat) plus you always have the block option if they start to annoy you.
I always feel they are less dodgy if I have their WhatsApp, chances are they aren't married and they probably aren't catfishing either.

 

[lurkingaround123]

Waaah I have such a weird situation!

I had a date arranged with a guy this evening, we’ve been speaking today but the conversation ended like this. (For context we’ve realised we both live in the same apartment building, but I’m not wildly taken aback by how it’s ran and I also didn’t want to steal the tv stand to take to my new house)
How confusing! I know i could’ve messaged and asked what time or where etc, but I am not going to because I think it’s common courtesy if you invite someone out, that you do that part. It doesn’t matter to me if we don’t speak again, I guess I’m just posting to say is this normal behaviour?

I’m annoyed because I’ve been out of the house all day at work and then I was dealing with a gas issue at my new house and I still managed to come back home and put a bit of make up on. I also didn’t buy any food because we were meant to go for a meal so now I’ve just sat eating beans on toast with my full face of slap on

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Dog walk with D was amazing. I was telling him about my woes at work (I told my boss to fuck off last week in a moment of extreme stress). He kept giving my big hugs and rubbing my back saying ‘everything’s gonna be ok’

I have some serious issues. As soon as a man starts acting like that, I'm out of there

The school dad who's eye I caught, came and apologised to me today. Told me he's trapped in a loveless marriage. Sure thats what they all say

What was he apologising for ?

 

[Bagpuss7]

I absolutely agree… What would such a message look like?

Has he made it clear that it's a date as in he's interested in a relationship? Or is he being neighbourly ?

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Sorry to ruin everyones fab dating stories- keep it up! I am living through all of you.

I'm so sorry though to derail and bring everyone down but i need to rant.
I'm posted on her last week about my ex and I'm pissed off at myself. He viewed my story (we don't follow each other) and I'm now back to the analyzing "What does it mean? Does this mean he's unhappy in his new relationship?!", feeling shit, missing him, "I can't do better. He didn't want me. He chose someone else but I still want him!" "when will message?!" version of myself. FFS!! Just when I was finally accepting it was over and enjoying my life and hardly thinking about him, he does one thing and suddenly, BOOM!! Here are we!! I want to reach out to him but at the same time, I don't because i don't want to give him the satisfaction of it all. How do I stop feeling and thinking about it?!

arghhhh!!!

You could block him or find something that occupies your mind more or call a friend whenever you feel the urge to contact him?

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

Do guys still message on FB? It seems like such a 2008 move haha.

I agree that is be sneaky. If the guy did message her first and he is interested in her, you can't help that, but she should have been upfront instead of waiting for someone to prompt her to finally tell you. It's a bit shady and I wouldn't call this person a "friend" if she is willing to flirt with him in front of you knowing it hurts you. Not cool.

Haha it seems they do!

She tried to cover it up by sending me screenshots even though and I quote "she shouldn't need to prove her innocence" but she was clearly hiding things! The day she told me he had messaged her and she was still making conversation with him if that was me I would have shut that down the first time he messaged.

Shes projecting onto you basically because she feels guilt and knows she's in the wrong. Her blocking you is a positive thing. I'd honestly ignore her and just live your best goddam life ever. Dont let her/him phase you (or act like it doesn't - fake it till you make it!) And you'll soon realise you had a lucky escape from both

Thank you! I'm trying my best but I take things to heart

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

One thing I have on my list to do now is to buy more perfume! I only have one and I want to get a little collection going to make myself feel good. You have a nice list there!

Be prepared to become addicted

 

[NoseyNiamh]

View attachment 855552
Why am I worrying about being harsh?!?!

Sorry I am being very nosey, but why do you have a phone for him?

 

[Thank(space)you]

No, that was someone else

@ATV2021 If he was a stranger I would have no problem owning it.

Can I send this:

Hey! Thanks for the invite. I’m gearing up to visit with my grandpa soon who is frail. I can’t risk catching anything and passing it on.

Do I need to add anything else? Btw It’s all true not looking for sympathy but it occurred to me that that’s a legitimate out

How does your neighbour have your number? Are you friendly anyway?

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

You deserve better than being kept on tenterhooks for a message. It's so anxiety-inducing! Even if he is interesting. The guy I was seeing earlier in the year was like this, and now looking back, even though we had some really fun dates I spent more time being bothered about not getting much chat in between, and that's the overriding memory.

What will you do on Thursday date?

Ohh, I don't know yet, we are probably going to meet for a bite to eat.

We had a nice time on Saturday, but I am not sure if there was a "spark" (sorry for using this cliche) or maybe it is my issues for simply not liking the good guys.

True, if they are an unreliable tester from the beginning then it probably won't change. But it's frustrating!

How are you doing at the moment?

 

[NoseyNiamh]

So ladies - who went to Persia Lawson's first live tonight?

Damn I forgot all about it

 

[Phoenix Lazarus]

Ladies, I need your help. My neighbor left me a note asking me out next Thursday for what sounds like a nice date of cocktails and live music. I’m not interested in him. Please help me write a text that doesn’t hurt his feelings! I’m awkward af

How well have you actually known him up till then?

 

[Lifeisarollercoaster]

So true. I’ve got a good job, own house etc. They all seem like they’re at a totally different life stage to me.

Majority of them are, I had someone who was around me about 4 years ago. Only a couple of years older then me, I didn't trust him and it was nothing serious but I worked out he only wanted me when he was single so I cut ties. Well last weekend I got the whole I'm a changed man can I take you out on a proper date, told him no chance cause I know his lies

I'm almost 40, it gets worse

Dating is fun though. I loved it when I first dipped my toe in.

I wish I could find it fun do you use the apps? I tried them years ago but gave up after a while The stories I have from my short time on them some people wouldn't believe.

 

[candyland_]

Ok I have a sneaky suspicion that the absolute ijeet I went on a date with this weekend actually has a partner. It’s the super super intense and then very very quiet. It’s not fair on anyone.

Any pattern to it?

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

Can I ask what age group you and him are in?

Me and the guy are 30, she is 25.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I may have a date this week. I'm not hugely arsed which I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing? Like seriously beyond not bothered.... if it doesn't happen I won't even give it another thought not arsed. Maybe this is the universe saying nah not yet

Why aren't you bothered about it ?

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Yeah, you shouldn’t stay because he’s the first one who has shown you any interest, because there will be someone else. Although it can be years between finding someone you find attractive and have genuine excitement about and it’s more misleading BS and platitudes to claim otherwise.

You imagine that everyone would want to get off the apps, but for a lot of men who aren’t looking for commitment or don’t know what they want, the apps represent a way to get attention, possible sexting (and photos/videos) and sex at their fingertips. They want to sign up to more!

Totally agree, I find it so gross but also I get that there is a market for that kind of thing and so whatever floats someone’s boat!

 

[Sheabutter]

Ladies, I need your help. My neighbor left me a note asking me out next Thursday for what sounds like a nice date of cocktails and live music. I’m not interested in him. Please help me write a text that doesn’t hurt his feelings! I’m awkward af

 

[Pixipoppy]

He might think you’re a catfish and want to see you IRL / not waste time chatting

True but I’m average looking and he looks like a model so that’s why I’m suspecting something is off