Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[TheGlossy]

I'm feeling very meh tonight

Last week "my friend" decided to tell me she didn't know what to do because the guy I like had began messaging her on Facebook. She tried to make it out like she came to me on her own accord but I found out a friend of ours told her she should tell me if something was going on. In my eyes she should know what to do ie Girl Code!!! I told her she was sneaky and a few days later tried to turn it round on me stating what I said to her really upset her then a few days later she blocked me on everything I've been working nights this week so managed to avoid her but we're both in tomorrow and I know seeing her flirting with him is going to hurt twice as much because I feel she's really going to go over the top with it now

Do guys still message on FB? It seems like such a 2008 move haha.

I agree that is be sneaky. If the guy did message her first and he is interested in her, you can't help that, but she should have been upfront instead of waiting for someone to prompt her to finally tell you. It's a bit shady and I wouldn't call this person a "friend" if she is willing to flirt with him in front of you knowing it hurts you. Not cool.

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

Do guys still message on FB? It seems like such a 2008 move haha.

I agree that is be sneaky. If the guy did message her first and he is interested in her, you can't help that, but she should have been upfront instead of waiting for someone to prompt her to finally tell you. It's a bit shady and I wouldn't call this person a "friend" if she is willing to flirt with him in front of you knowing it hurts you. Not cool.

Haha it seems they do!

She tried to cover it up by sending me screenshots even though and I quote "she shouldn't need to prove her innocence" but she was clearly hiding things! The day she told me he had messaged her and she was still making conversation with him if that was me I would have shut that down the first time he messaged.

Shes projecting onto you basically because she feels guilt and knows she's in the wrong. Her blocking you is a positive thing. I'd honestly ignore her and just live your best goddam life ever. Dont let her/him phase you (or act like it doesn't - fake it till you make it!) And you'll soon realise you had a lucky escape from both

Thank you! I'm trying my best but I take things to heart

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Haha it seems they do!

She tried to cover it up by sending me screenshots even though and I quote "she shouldn't need to prove her innocence" but she was clearly hiding things! The day she told me he had messaged her and she was still making conversation with him if that was me I would have shut that down the first time he messaged.


Thank you! I'm trying my best but I take things to heart

Can I ask what age group you and him are in?

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

Can I ask what age group you and him are in?

Me and the guy are 30, she is 25.

 

[ATV2021]

Haha it seems they do!

She tried to cover it up by sending me screenshots even though and I quote "she shouldn't need to prove her innocence" but she was clearly hiding things! The day she told me he had messaged her and she was still making conversation with him if that was me I would have shut that down the first time he messaged.


Thank you! I'm trying my best but I take things to heart

Yeah its not easy at all! It's not easy to pretend to not give a duck but I bet if you show you don't give a tit then the novelty will wear off quickly for her. Met many of these girls in my lifetime! She's obviously got her own unhappiness going down and needs the "power" attention whatever. She will be the one who ends up lonely if she carries on this way, not you

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Me and the guy are 30, she is 25.

This has made me so depressed. I was hoping you'd say he was in his early 20s.
I give up

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

This has made me so depressed. I was hoping you'd say he was in his early 20s.
I give up

sorry!

 

[ATV2021]

This has made me so depressed. I was hoping you'd say he was in his early 20s.
I give up

CHANGE. THE. NARRATIVE

 

[NoseyNiamh]

CHANGE. THE. NARRATIVE

I might go through a hoe phase. Lots of fun and never message them again

 

[ATV2021]

I might go through a hoe phase. Lots of fun and never message them again

If it makes you happy and feel confident and sexy then go for it. If it doesn't, do not.

 

[TheGlossy]

Haha it seems they do!

She tried to cover it up by sending me screenshots even though and I quote "she shouldn't need to prove her innocence" but she was clearly hiding things! The day she told me he had messaged her and she was still making conversation with him if that was me I would have shut that down the first time he messaged.


Thank you! I'm trying my best but I take things to heart

I agree. She should have refrained from responding and spoken to you first. A true friend would have certainly stayed away. Some people simply cannot be trusted, but at least, she showed her true colors. Losing a friend over a man - I really hope this man is worth it.

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

I agree. She should have refrained from responding and spoken to you first. A true friend would have certainly stayed away. Some people simply cannot be trusted, but at least, she showed her true colors. Losing a friend over a man - I really hope this man is worth it.

Exactly! People keep saying to me I should talk it out with her and its not worth losing a friend over a guy but what have I done wrong?

 

[ATV2021]

Exactly! People keep saying to me I should talk it out with her and its not worth losing a friend over a guy but what have I done wrong?

Absolutely nothing. I'd cut her off to be honest. Life is too short for toxic people to be in your life. Hell since I've been doing my self development journey I've realised just how bleeping toxic and energy draining friends of 20+ years were to me. I people pleased my way through life, afraid of confrontation and standing up for myself.

No. More.

 

[Thank(space)you]

@ATV2021 yes that's me haha
@NoseyNiamh I've had 2.5ml in my lips over the course of a year, and I've had 4ml spread between cheeks and chin. People who know me obviously can tell I've had it but people who don't know me well or at all, are always surprised when I tell them.

 

[ATV2021]

@ATV2021 yes that's me haha
@NoseyNiamh I've had 2.5ml in my lips over the course of a year, and I've had 4ml spread between cheeks and chin. People who know me obviously can tell I've had it but people who don't know me well or at all, are always surprised when I tell them.

AHA lol I did reply to you then I'm gonna miss tomorrow's aswell as I'm going out so need to catch up before the 11am sat one!

 

[Thank(space)you]

Exactly! People keep saying to me I should talk it out with her and its not worth losing a friend over a guy but what have I done wrong?

You haven't done anything wrong. If she genuinely was remorseful and repentant (is that a word?) and she was devastated at what she had done, then perhaps there is a chance for forgiveness. But she seems to be very callous about it all, she's manipulating the situation so she is the innocent party to absolve her own guilt. Personally, I'd put them both in the bin. I really hate that you're going through this, friend betrayal is just as much a heartbreak as romantic ones

 

[Clickbait]

Exactly! People keep saying to me I should talk it out with her and its not worth losing a friend over a guy but what have I done wrong?

Was she really your friend in the first place? Or just a work acquaintance.

I think the sooner this guy leaves for his new job the better.

 

[TheGlossy]

Exactly! People keep saying to me I should talk it out with her and its not worth losing a friend over a guy but what have I done wrong?

You've done nothing wrong. She disregarded your feelings and went for this guy. It's on her. It is a normal reaction to be mad and to hurt over this. If she did this once, she won't hesitate to do it again and you won't be able to trust her in any case. You're right to distance yourself from her because it sounds like she will wind up triggering insecurities in you and ruin your confidence with men at this rate. If you want to have a chat with her for closure and move on from this friendship, perhaps, but I doubt "talking it out" to save the friendship is going to be a long-term solution. It's not worth the heartache.

 

[ATV2021]

For the ladies (and any men who may be floating lol) just some book recommendations both from the bootcamp a few of us are a part of plus others I've done/joined after the bootcamp:

Persia Lawson:
- Love is Coming: How to Find Real Love in a Superficial World
- The Inner Fix

Noor Hibbert:
- Just bleeping Do It
- You Only Live Once

Manifestation Journals:
- Emma Kate Dawson - Unlock the Magic of Manifesting
- The Universal Bank of Abundance - Law of Attraction Workbook

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

Thank you guys, you've made me feel a little better! 17 days and he's leaving. I'm going to miss him because I enjoyed the banter we have but at least I won't see them both together! He did message me the other night, It wasn't anything exciting but I hate how happy I got when I saw his name!