The Kearns Gossip Forum

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  1. Michy02

    The Kearns #49 Brad is the smallest man who ever lived, Sez doesn’t know what consent and privacy is

    The Kearns #49 Brad is the smallest man who ever lived, Sez doesn’t know what consent and privacy is Congrats to @phonies for the thread title! A pic of Brad on his unicycle I found 🤪
  2. phonies

    The Kearns #48 She goes by Sarah, Sez or Sar but to us Tattle aunties she’s Beaky with the bad hair

    Hello Tattle aunties, dull women and anyone who is so old to use an Apple Watch and cover their belly when they go out sometimes! Welcome to Thread #48 and thank you to @grifter for the inspiration behind the title. Your prize is a decluttered garage, lowering the consent age to whatever age...
  3. Kalesmoothie

    The Kearns #47 Project Glow by Sarah Kearns watching, waiting, commiserating

    Thank you @StateOfMind for the last minute thread title! We were too busy previous thread discussing their bullshit we didn’t have time for thread titles 😂 Let’s see… Thread 46 brought us a sudden Blink182 obsession (nod to the thread title), a hypocritical podcast from Maggie Dent featuring...
  4. screenfreelookatme

    The Kearns #46 Mirror mirror on the wall, where’s the project Sez promised us all?

    Hellooooo my loves, welcome to thread #46 for the Kearns family / Dadmum / Mrs Dadmum / Sarah Kearns / Brad Kearns. Congrats to @nosuchthingasgirlcolours for the winning thread title. You’ve won a fuzzy Ed Sheeran hat, a Red Hot Chili Peppers tee and a Pink hoody aka Sez doesn’t need them...
  5. Bobley_the_1st

    The Kearns #45 Project Glow by Sarah Kearns- how to lose friends and influence nobody

    New thread time! We got a winner!! --- Thank you to @therealmacaw for the winning title Project Glow by Sarah Kearns - how to lose friends and influence nobody, your prize is a 24 hour session with Sez on how to get your glow and a discount of 30% for your ongoing membership in club glow! recap...
  6. phonies

    The Kearns #44 Boys given every toy under the sun, while Sez preaches Diet Culture 101

    HNY Tattle aunties! Welcome to the new thread for Brad Kearns, Sarah Kearns, DaDMuM, Mrs DaDMuM and their teeth. Thanks to @screenfreelookatme for the thread title. Your suggestion had more votes than Sezzy’s average engagement. Well done! Your prize is a trip to Sydney to get whatever you...
  7. phonies

    The Kearns #43 Elf content couldn't be finer, have you looked up your leaky vagina?

    Hi Swampettes We are feeling festive as we enter the new thread about The Kearns / Sarah Kearns / Brad Kearns / DaDMuM / Mrs DaDMuM. Today's present in the adult advent calendar is an elf you can stick anywhere. So clench your pelvic floor and get your flaps ready... Christmas personality Sez...
  8. Kalesmoothie

    The Kearns #42 Sez’s giant thighs cant keep up w/ her lies about her size- the result of hard work, guys!

    Congratulations to our title MVP @phonies 👋🏼 tweaked slightly to fit (I can spell, my name isn’t Sarah Ann Kearns 😉) Continue… “Sez’s giant thighs can’t keep up with her lies about her size which is the result of hard work, guys!”
  9. phonies

    The Kearns #41 Sez can't do anything because she's as dumb as a stone and Brad's an inbred garden gnome

    Hello and welcome to a another thread to deservedly snark on the Kearns / DaDMuM / Mrs Dad Mum / Brad Kearns / Sarah Kearns aka the swamp-dwelling ogre and donkey turned flamingos thanks to their glow up, marriage counselling and secret projects. Speaking of secret projects, we still haven't...
  10. screenfreelookatme

    Kearns #40 Brad’s got his gym honey and office dunny, but big boat’s for sale coz they’ve got no money

    Welcome to thread 40 for the Kearns family / Dadmum /Mrs Dadmum / Brad Kearns / Sarah Kearns. Congrats to @phonies for the winning thread title! There were a heap, so I just picked one that fit 🤙 Hmm recap. Still trouble in swamp land due to Brad’s affair with his gym babe and Sarah falling...
  11. screenfreelookatme

    Kearns #39 Affair rumours won’t die down, Brad sits in his toilet office looking like a clown 🤡

    Hello swamp rats and welcome to thread #39 for the Kearns family / Dadmum / Mrs Dadmum / Sarah Kearns / Brad Kearns. Congrats to me for the winning thread title 🥳🎉👏🏻. Were there better options? Absolutely. But it feels right. Mediocrity is what we’re all about in the swamp. My recap is that...
  12. phonies

    The Kearns #38 the curly girl is no more, the content is a bore & the skate ark is still against the law

    Hi Swampettes, welcome to the new thread! We have a Brad Kearns (short) version of the winning thread suggestion: The Kearns #38 the curly girl is no more, content is a bore, gang signs are so hardcore & skate ark is still against the law. The other suggestion was something about kids and them...
  13. screenfreelookatme

    The Kearns #37 rumours swirling about Brad’s little gym romp, things not so rosy at the muddy swamp

    Hello creeps and welcome to thread 37 for Dadmum / Mrs Dadmum / Brad Kearns / Sarah Kearns. Congrats to @SmallDickEnergy for the winning thread title (shortened to fit). You win a $15k second hand skate ark, lightly used. Just check with your council that it’s okay before you install it...
  14. Severus Snark

    The Kearns #36 I just Kearnt

    Congratulations @moulindickehead you’ve won yourself a ticket to a non-gender specific movie of your choice, complete with cup of lollies bigger than your head and some stuffed toy merch to play with for 5 minutes then throw into the crappy void known as the RSL foyer with your other, impulse...
  15. screenfreelookatme

    The Kearns #35 A epic fail, the ol' skate ark, as big of a fail as your insta check mark

    New thread for Dadmum / Mrs Dadmum / Brad Kearns / Sarah Kearns! Carry on creeps 🤙 Winning thread title taken from @RedFrog2’s epic poem (slightly tweaked). I can think of anything to recap. Brad has unfortunately been popping up more than usual lately 😂
  16. Kalesmoothie

    The Kearns #34 “Scrimping” but spendings still strong, will the Dreamers world collapse before too long?

    Winning thread goes to @Lord Of The Lies ! Shortened slightly to fit - original: ‘Scrimping and saving' but the spending's still strong, will the Dreamers world collapse before too long? Congratulations!!! you win an overpriced piece of shit $120 spongebob mini backpack, matching $120...
  17. Bobley_the_1st

    The Kearns #33 Brad is a skaterboi, Sez likes to play with her toy, Brads isn’t big enough for her.

    Winning suggestion this round was, me!! Brad is a skaterboi, Sez likes to play with her toy, Brads isn’t big enough for her. A whopping 58 of you liked it, 59 if I put my hand up! What did I win, some self satisfaction, some new filters and a lovely brown suit! I’ll grab my pear and satisfy my...
  18. Kalesmoothie

    The Kearns #32 Jacks of all trades, masters of none. All fun and games til the flood waters come!

    CONGRATULATIONS the OG @Bobley_the_1st for the winning thread title, tweaked slightly to fit. Original title “Thread 32 Kearnts Family, jacks of all trades, masters of none. It is all fun and games til the flood waters come.” with 52 votes! You win a trip to the easter show, a flooded back...
  19. Bobley_the_1st

    The Kearns #31 No GHD or loved up post for her birth, the only thing getting laid at that swamp is turf

    Big congrats to @b!tch_eating_crackers for the suggestion The Kearns #31 No GHD or loved up post for her birth, the only thing getting laid at that swamp is turf, a massive 80 likes!! Hey, you can have a ad, 3 tonnes of turf and a party at the swamp! recap…in a nutshell the last thread went by...
  20. Michy02

    The Kearns #30 Big boy Brad at his big boy job, Sez on the gram still being a flog. Both knobs!

    The Kearns #30 Big boy Brad at his big boy job, Sez on the gram still being a flog. Both knobs! Congrats to me for the thread suggestion 🥴🤭🎉
  21. Bobley_the_1st

    The Kearns #29 Brandley is always working late, so Big Sez has to masturbate

    Well done to @SmallDickEnergy for our new thread title The Kearns #29 Brandley is always working late, so Big Sez has to masturbate. You win a John Deere mower, and a years worth of sex toys in a nicely packed lunchbox for your efforts. I’ll pop it in the post. whats been happening in swamp...
  22. Bobley_the_1st

    The Kearns #28 Sez is promiscuous with her jean-popping knees, Brad #thriftydad is Maggie Dent’s main….

    Thanks to @tonedeaftitties for our new thread The Kearns # 28Sez is promiscuous with her jean-popping knees, Brad #thriftydad is Maggie Dent’s main squeeze!! We will get onto a gift bag and a pair of lovely well worn jeans --- Recap!! Schools goes back tomorrow, lucky for sez as she has...
  23. Bobley_the_1st

    The Kearns #27 Sez is boring, Brandley’s dumb. We want deets on the fight with mum.

    Yay for new threads, and a big congrats to @Reggie21 for this cracker Sez is boring, Brandley’s dumb. We want deets on the fight with mum. Convincing victory with over 60 likes!! Take your stadium of fans down to buy a new tractor you legend!! Recap from thread 26. Christmas time has come and...
  24. screenfreelookatme

    The Kearns #26 Watch our reel, catch an eel, look we have a cockatiel! See our swamp, seeeeee our swamp!

    Hello there you creeps and welcome to thread 26 for the Kearns family / Dadmum / Mrs Dadmum / Brad Kearns / Sarah Kearns. Congrats to @Severus Snark for our winning thread title, obviously shortened to fit. Copied in full below for your entertainment. I’ve been singing it all day! You’ve won a...
  25. screenfreelookatme

    The Kearns #25 A beautiful swamp to renew their "vowels", and a surplus of toilets to empty their bowels.

    Hello there you creeps and welcome to thread 25 for the Kearns family / Dadmum / Mrs Dadmum / Brad Kearns / Sarah Kearns. Thank you @Caseybecker for our winning thread title. I’ve got half a hacked off Balsalm Hill Christmas tree coming your way! Well fam, we made it all the way to the swamp...