Kearns #40 Brad’s got his gym honey and office dunny, but big boat’s for sale coz they’ve got no money

[screenfreelookatme]

Welcome to thread 40 for the Kearns family / Dadmum /Mrs Dadmum / Brad Kearns / Sarah Kearns.

Congrats to @phonies for the winning thread title! There were a heap, so I just picked one that fit

Hmm recap.

Still trouble in swamp land due to Brad’s affair with his gym babe and Sarah falling out with her sister. Will she make a reappearance in time for Ted’s birthday? Maybe if she brings cash.

It’s not all bad news for Sarah. Brad’s dalliances have finally been the kick up the arse she needed to shed a couple of kilos (not off her thighs mind). It’s also led to a new money making scheme. Sarah’s already told everyone what diet plan she followed and what gym she goes to. But really she just manifested it and she can help you get your glow back too! For a price of course. Stay tuned 🥱.

Brad has lectured us all on the importance of spending solo time with your kid. If only he remembered that he had more than one. Maybe one day Knox and Teddy.

The big boat is up for sale. Interior photos are coming soon, Brad promises.
---
Please add anything I’ve missed!!!!

 

[SoGawgezSoBewdiful]

OMG! Big Sez sending herself the dildo (or whatever it is) sexy time message & pretending it’s from a follower. Hon! We didn’t come down in the last shower, ok! How about you try jumbling the words around a bit or using different ones! really throw us off the scent! ‘hubs loved it’ that exact line has been used in the last few follower dildo messages. Mix it up Sezzy

 

[thatbluebikini]

Broncos just lost in the last 3 minutes.

Lol.

 

[beigebabe]

Woohoo PANTHERS

 

[waitingandwondering]

OMG! Big Sez sending herself the dildo (or whatever it is) sexy time message & pretending it’s from a follower. Hon! We didn’t come down in the last shower, ok! How about you try jumbling the words around a bit or using different ones! really throw us off the scent! ‘hubs loved it’ that exact line has been used in the last few follower dildo messages. Mix it up Sezzy

Chat GBT Sezzy….. or maybe she’ll discover that in a few years.

Just popped the GF on, delighted with the result. Have no interest in the game (WA girl) so just happy that they are there and are wearing the wrong clothes.

 

[canijustsay]

That’s okay… Brad is really a panthers fan. Where is that screen shot from last week that said go the panthers?

 

[moulindickehead]

Sucked in kunts

 

[bunningsfan]

So.. I am confused…

She is respecting the kids privacy BUT posts ‘we are at Tuggerah at the paw patrol bus’ with a photo of said kid

He then posts where he and one kid are, even where they are staying.. and posts pics of the kids face..

I literally cannot keep up with the BS..

PICK A DAM LANE!

 

[screenfreelookatme]

I believe “privacy” applies to the sort of posts you’d do about their emotions or experiences (bullying, tantrums etc) and what she shares now is more surface level.

So still totally cool with telling their stadium of fan where they are, their routines, their interests etc.

 

[DoomScroller]

Soz Bronco supporters… but suck it Brad! Your actual team lost!! You can hop off the bandwagon now!

 

[canijustsay]

Soz Bronco supporters… but suck it Brad! Your actual team lost!! You can hop off the bandwagon now!

Now he can jump on the nfl bandwagon.

 

[whattheduck87]

Now he can jump on the nfl bandwagon.

Next minute…. Panthers shirt will come out as some bullshit thing….
---
it’s interesting how most of these influencers kids have speech issues….

 

[shortpoppysyndrome]

Now he can jump on the nfl bandwagon.

I don’t know if anyone here has seen the latest tt trend where the wife films her partner as she tells him that Taylor swift has put Travis Kelce on the map, and all the men overreact about how Travis has won super bowls and was famous before? I could see the kearnts doing that, in about 2yrs from now, with him hamming it up for the camera pretending he knew who travis was before the trend.

 

[hazelnot]

OMG! Big Sez sending herself the dildo (or whatever it is) sexy time message & pretending it’s from a follower. Hon! We didn’t come down in the last shower, ok! How about you try jumbling the words around a bit or using different ones! really throw us off the scent! ‘hubs loved it’ that exact line has been used in the last few follower dildo messages. Mix it up Sezzy

Also a fascinating wee insight to how she thinks. I would never know if "hubs loves it" because my sex toy isn't for him??

Meanwhile she clearly thinks husband's approval is a make-or-break selling point...

Give me strength.

 

[Thatsmeinthecorner]

"We used to come here heaps as kids"
Doesn't really fit the traumatic childhood narrative, does it?

 

[notgifted]

"We used to come here heaps as kids"
Doesn't really fit the traumatic childhood narrative, does it?

Interesting, so hit a wild family used to give up their time to drive him there, pay for the entry & sit & supervise them swimming? Nah, doesn’t seem right to me.

 

[phonies]

"We used to come here heaps as kids"
Doesn't really fit the traumatic childhood narrative, does it?

But but but poor widdle Brandley had to wear his Big W board shorts over his Big W swimming briefs, use his Big W towel and wear his Lynx skate shoes while all the other kids had Billabong and Etnies. Endlessly traumatic. At least 15 years worth of trauma blasting all over the internet.
---

Welcome to thread 40 for the Kearns family / Dadmum /Mrs Dadmum / Brad Kearns / Sarah Kearns.

Congrats to @phonies for the winning thread title! There were a heap, so I just picked one that fit

Thanks @screenfreelookatme, you keep these threads afloat, and just like the snack bar in the office dunny, thank the swamp gods for that. It’s literally more fun making up rhymes about these useless Kearnts than watching the Broncos lose and observing Sezzy trying to sound smart and accomplished.

My prediction is Sezzy will resurrect the podcast, and pivot towards being a pink/glowing guru now she’s past her brown/parenting guru era.

 

[ktra2021]

Sorry, what???

 

[Crockjock]

"We used to come here heaps as kids"
Doesn't really fit the traumatic childhood narrative, does it?

Nothing he says fits the narrative of young Bradley.

 

[Bobley_the_1st]

Sez found the vacuum…