Peaches Geldof

[heatmagazine]

it always surprised me that Peaches ended up on heroine, I would have thought she would be more of a cocaine party girl, like many rich people are


I think as a model you probably wouldn't risk track marks? although I may well be wrong

I was a heroin addict for years. I did get clean when I was 19, but quickly relapsed. Nobody knew until I was 25. Honestly I was injecting and smoking heroin, behind my partners back, still working and still studying. You can be totally functional on it. Anybody you look at can be on it and you not realise. Fat, thin, poor, rich, CEOs, bar tenders, mothers in the playground, health care professionals. There is even a charity dedicated to helping drs go to rehab in secret, signed off for ‘stress’. I met an anaesthetist once and he used to use the ‘magic milk’ used after each operation. If you know how to inject properly, & you learn along the way, & needle exchanges are happy to help you (learn) if you rotate areas nobody will notice. Sometimes you will have bruising or swollen hands. Esp if you’ve been smoking crack and then try to inject you make a right mess of yourself. Peaches didn’t have tell tell signs of heroin addiction. Because we don’t all look the same. People do use heroin without being addicted too. I know many of people that only use on pay day for a treat. They are known as giro junkies. However, anybody can be using at any time. I think smoking it gives it away more because you’ll be off your head and end up with black all over your face by itching your nose or black on your front teeth. Btw I’m 4 years clean now. Was just giving my pearls of wisdom regarding peaches and her H use.

 

[AdoraDelano]

My heart hurts when I think of that poor baby alone for hours and hours.

 

[Clairer86]

I have been going back and forth whether to post this or not, and i apologize if i offend anyone....

Addiction was such a huge part of Peaches life, and 75% of posters were aware and talking about her addictions before anyone shared their own lived experience. I am not sorry at all for posting my own experience of addiction, and i feel honoured that others who have also had direct and indrect experience of addiction felt comfortable sharing their own story. Hell, users-both current and recovering users have spent a large part of their life feeling stigmatised and without a voice, so i think its been amazing listening to other peoples experience.

The way i see it, i saw a lot of comments regarding addiction that people acknowledged they did not know much about addiction, and asking questions, making assumptions. If by myself and others sharing their experiences at least one person felt a little less judged or ashamed, or less lonely. Or if it even gave someone the confidence to reach out and get help. To be honest if it even made someone think about addiction differently then i personally think thats fucking amazing.

To be completely honest if i felt uncomfortable about addiction then i probably wouldnt be on a thread about Peaches anyway, considering its fair to say a lot of the posts would be about her addiction. But thats just me.

As i say, im sorry if anyone is offended by this, that is not the point of this post. And im happy not to talk about it again

 

[Clairer86]

London and major cities are absolutely awash with Heroin and have been for such a long time. The thing that surprised me when I first moved to London was the range of people doing Heroin. Its heavily stigmatised but loads of people and I mean loads do it. With Peaches you see its really heavy in the music scene and most people who do Heroin never get off it. They may have short periods where they get clean but its habitual.

Peaches like her mother was a talented writer when they both could be bothered. The lifestyle caught up with her. Glad her boys have been kept out of the limelight. I know he has made so many mistakes but Bon Geldof was tortured by his divorce from Paula who he truly loved. The grief did a real number on him but he still took on Tiger Lily it was all a big mess and he tried to keep his family together the best he could.

Yes you are correct, heroin is everywhere and its not just the typical trainspotting 'people' doing it. Im a recovering user and yet i havre never been a typical looking addict, and neither were the people i used to associate with. We were mainly all well educated- at least up to MA and Phd, and had professional careers. I have witnessed people who are high up in medical fields, even lawyers, and top business people all use heroin on a regular basis. I managed to hide my addictions for a long long time- i guess i was a functioning addict. Im totally clean now, but this is the first time probably ever ive been properly clean. I was like a binge user, i would use for a peroid of time then might stop for a few months, but i would always somehow fall back into it. Now im properly clean, i havent used since May 2020, ive completely cut off all of my associates from that time (i wont call them friends because they are not friends), i got rid of my phone, and all aspects of my life from that time. Its a horrible drug to be addicted to, but people need to understand that its so much popular than what you think it is. I think people assume heroin addicts are the typical 'smack heads' you see in tv and films, but the reality is so much more complex than that.

 

[Gflo93]

When I started this thread I honestly didn’t think anyone would really respond and I was being a bit weird reminiscing about Peaches. Honestly I’ve learnt so much listening to everyone and learning about addiction and your achievements. Thanks so much for your stories and taking the time to chat.

 

[Bloody orange Hell]

Could the people discussing drug addictions maybe start a separate topic?

I don’t think anyone wishes people to be upset by the subject, however drug addiction is a problem which ran through Peaches’ life and the life of her mother and stepfather.

The vast majority of comments have been compassionate and informative about the relentless nature of drug addiction and offered some insight into how hard it must have been for her to cope with ongoing drug addiction and present an acceptable face to the rest of the world.

Drugs were a huge part of her life.
To those triggered, no one meant any upset and I really hope that these posts can offer help or encouragement that it is possible to get through your battles.

To not acknowledge the prevalence and reality of drug addiction, to hide it on a separate thread, rather feels disingenuous given that Peaches tried so hard to pretend she wasn’t still using. She hid it from family and friends and died alone.

I think it would be inappropriate to stop talking about drug addiction in relation to her life and managing addiction, on this thread and hide it on it’s own thread. It was a big part of Peaches life and caused her death. Secrecy and avoidance is a huge part of the problem.

 

[LadyStardust]

This!! I’m pretty sure I read in one of the articles he said that they both used when the babies slept!? I’m gonna have to go back and find it now

edited to add image

.I'm pretty sure he means that they both used the spare bedroom, not heroin.

 

[Gflo93]

Nope, but a surname he is famous for sits in a pear tree...

Allegedly

 

[Cosytidy]

Angie was very young when she had Duncan and she's said in the past David really wanted a child after his father passed away so she had one for him. I'm not sure she ever wanted children to be honest. When they split, Duncan was mostly looked after by a nanny and then sent to boarding school. DB was off his face on drugs for years so it's not like he was a hands on father but he paid someone to look after Duncan. He was never vilified the way Angie was. I'm not defending Angie as a parent at all but the double standards when it comes to parenting is outrageous. An absent father doesn't even get acknowledged, an absent mother is treated worse than a murderer in the press.

I think this, in a way, is why people are so shocked by Peaches, as a mother of 2, being a heroin addict. Society expects mothers to put their children before themselves every second of every day & throw off any perceived self centred desires.
So people cannot conceive that actually as someone with childhood trauma who clearly struggled with life before children she was going to struggle with motherhood (especially with 2kids in a year) & turn to her old dysfunctional coping mechanisms.
Motherhood can be indescribably amazing but it can be dull, monotonous & so unbelievable exhausting. Realising what society’s expectations of you as a mother are & that they aren’t the same for fathers can be deflating & soul-destroying.
Peaches was clearly struggling with motherhood but instead of being able to freely admit it she felt compelled to tell all & sundry she was a purist parent.
The narrative around motherhood & the vastly lower standard expected of men needs to be changed.

 

[Venuslurker]

Crikey some people are being pretty harsh about Michael Hutchence choosing Paula, their chemistry was clear, it's not all about looks, you love who you love and sometimes attraction is not all about who is conventionally more beautiful.
Prince Charles & Camilla vs Diana anyone??

 

[Clairer86]

Seriously well done. Addiction is so pernicious. Please stay safe.

Thankyou. Im doing okay, im on methadone and im not abusing that anymore either (at one point i would double up on that/miss days etc etc). My family are extremely supportive. Ive also got complex mental health issues-bpd and bipolar which i think kinda explains my risk taking behaviour when it came to drugs and my impulsivity. I have just read another post where they talk about users who could be classed as functioning users who also have professional careers, and that is me and the people i used to associate with. We are not all toothless, skinny, scruffy, trainspotting type characters!
I wrongly used to assume because i was functioning- i still had a bloody good job, paid all my bills, and was a good parent, that i could handle it. Because i used to binge and sometimes i would hammer it, and then not touch it for a couple of months. But it did get to me, and its sad but it ended with me attempting suicide twice, being sectioned, being in a mental health hospital for 6 weeks. And when i came home from hospital my family pretty much kept me as a prisoner- not that they were abusing me or anything like that, but i had to get rid of my phone, completely cut off those people, and focus purely on me and my family.
I wish it was as easy to get off drugs as some people suggest it is. Withdrawing is absolutely fucking horrible, also and this might sound crazy but heroin is a lovely drug! Why else would people intitally use it? It wrapped me up in cotton wool, and i felt amazing. I know realize its because i was trying to mask my other feelings (connected with my mental health). Its a tough thing but im getting the right support and medication- both for my addiction and my mental health, and for the first time i genuinely feel present in the moment- like i dont have any outside influence or stresses, im fully present with my children and my partner.

I will hold my hand up and say I am completely oblivious to functioning addicts as in I’m aware they exist I’m just not aware of any I know. Close people in my life completely obliterated themselves on this drug, so the only firsthand knowledge I have of it is from watching them and how their lives fell apart, one is dead. I don’t meant to insult anyone with my views, I’m speaking from ignorance not intent. I applaud you for staying sober

I completely see what you mean, and some would argue that in the end i was not functioning at all because it ended with me attempting suicide twice, being sectioned and in a mental health hospital, and then being treated like a child by my family- not being able to go out, they would look after and give me my meds so i couldnt double up, not being able to have a phone etc etc.
I personally feel that the idea of functioning comes down to money. The rich people who used heroin never ever had to struggle to get the money to get hold of it, they never had to steal or lie to obtain their funds. I guess on a superficial level i could probably be described as functioning due to me going to work, paying bills, i took care of myself in terms of hygeine and looks. But on the inside- it co-existed with my mental health and was so so damaging to me and you could argue it very nearly destroyed my life. I also look back now and almost feel scared at how i used to use it after a period off it, It wouldnt matter to me that i hadnt took it for 2 or 3 months, i just used it as i would have used it had i been hammering it. And that is why my drugs worker always used to tell me- i was at more of a risk of an overdose than someone who would use it every day, and yet i didnt care. But now i realise i was trying to escape from my mental health issues.

Sorry for waffling on xx

 

[lalalanded]

Soooo bit of a long post here and I did not know her at all so this is just all observational but about fifteen years ago I was really into a certain London scene (strictly for the music but the partying was sometimes off the scale) and there was a notorious online forum which I joined to find out what would be going down on any given night. Peaches was a member and posted under her own name so everyone there knew who she was. This forum was notoriously unmoderated and absolutely brutal. If someone said something daft they would take no prisoners. So you can imagine how well a teenage Peaches went down. Looking back she was just a kid trying to hang with the cool crowd but she was pretty daft and annoying. Like I said, the forum could be brutal but there were also a lot of incredibly witty and hilarious people and I would often spend time just howling at their antics. The humour was dark though. They would do things like start a pile on and mercilessly go after people. If Peaches did a magazine article and the comments were left open it was open season. Tbh, her writing was piss poor so I never really felt bad for her.

The scene was pretty hard living but I was on the older end of the spectrum, had a full time job etc so while I probably overdid it at times I was still pretty level headed just massively sleep deprived! But there were really, really young kids on that scene and I was shocked that the recreational drug of choice was smack. When I was their age it was party drugs and even they messed people up. But smack as a party drug? Big problem. Sadly, most of the young ones that started messing with it ended up in huge trouble. Peaches was obviously one of them. I saw it coming when she was about 16 and DJing in a venue in Whitechapel that was notorious for smack being done in the toilets etc. It was really messy. Both her and Pixie were rich girls slumming it and could be rude and entitled. They expected to get in anywhere for free. I didn't like either of them.

No one has mentioned here the amount of work she had done either. She was quite chubby with messed up teeth back in the day so I was surprised when she was reinvented as an earth mother as she was very slim with pearly whites and big lips. She never used to look like that. She was chubby when she was using so I personally don't think it was the drugs. I think she had a hell of a lot of work done including a lap band or weight loss surgery. She honestly looked like a completely different person at the end of her life. Without wanting to sound too mean, I think the husband and babies was just another phase she went through. I don't think it was possible for her to be a good mother and someone else was probably looking after them most of the time.

 

[Notredamn]

Since lockdown I have been trying to support more charities and I have been following Mitch Winehouse and the work he has been doing with the Amy Winehouse Foundation. He is really trying to make a lasting legacy. I known he and Bob Geldof got absolutely slated after the deaths if their daughters and I have to say I found it incredibly unfair and almost bordering on gloating. To have your grief picked apart by tabloid journalists and documentary makers. It's the most macabre thing in the world. And then there is this massive blame game. And the notion that the parents are always at fault if the child falls to addiction. Not every person who is an addict has been abused and that is such a prevalent assumption in AA and NA. I had the most wonderful supportive family who only every wanted to see me succeed and fully supported me going to College etc. But I know its incredibly cliched but I was attracted to that dark side. I always was from my teenage years.

Mitch Winehouse is a foul, foul man who thrived on his daughter's spiral and notoriety to the extent of talking her out of seeking proper help. That man is still using her name to benefit his own self.
Also there is a real lack of understanding of both drug addiction on this thread (by some worryingly claiming to work in the system of service users), and the idea that not everyone processes their experiences in the same way as people are all different. And that people aren't walking drug addictions defined by drugs and nothing else. I know some people who would fit the heroine user stereotype, I also know 'fully functioning members of society' who use and hold down jobs from post man to social worker to people working in law.

 

[Yoyolady]

I saw her walk through a tube station 2 days before she died and I was absolutely gobsmacked at how skinny and pale she was. I’ve never seen anyone that’s skinny bar people very very ill with eating disorders.

 

[LadyStardust]

This has been living rent free in my mind since I read it. 🦪

All I can think of is putting the oyster up his/her bum? I'm not very imaginative.

I feel like I'm fairly open minded, but I can't imagine a time where I would ever have been impressed with seafood making an appearance in my bedroom.

 

[JoanieDee]

He seems odd.

That’s an unkind thing to say.
I actually went to art uni with Tom. Funnily enough Pixie was there too, I think she was doing a foundation year.
He was very gentle and incredibly kind. Just a bit eccentric.
I remember him wearing the tightest jeans with big, chunky dr Martens and I thought he looked so cool. I went out and bought the same dr Martens.

 

[OutrageouslyScarlet]

I know but he's a nearly middle aged man who's dressing like a 6th former. He's like the child of Grayson Perry crossed with an 80s Goth.

You don't have to stop expressing yourself or conform just because you aren’t 19 anymore

 

[Gym&Tonic]

To be honest Bob just left them all to parents themselves, I don’t think he was a good dad. Yes the three older girls all lived in a self contained flat together. I think it was basement flat under his house. Three young teenagers living on their own in central London, that wasn’t going to end well. Sadly.

 

[heatmagazine]

Slow on the uptake but just read the Pete Doherty article from the Guardian in 2019. I genuinely thought he was clean, I last read about him about 4 years ago when he had just got out of rehab. Turns out he’s still a fucking mess

I was in a rehab with him years ago, had paps all around the grounds trying to get a sneak preview of him. & kat slater. It was so funny because every time a celeb walked it we all automatically pretended we didn’t know who they were and would talk to them as though they were strangers in the street. ‘Hello, what’s your name?’

 

[Bobbiewilson]

I remember seeing her on This Morning talking about parenting and taking on Katie Hopkins. She came across totally in control, healthy and well. Very sad when the news broke. Still one I think about now