Mrs Hinch #329 To the sheep spying the Hinch thread, Soph buys bots cos her content's dead

[Lemongrab]

Exactly this.
She knows the insta cleaner bubble is about to burst. Every Tom, Dick and Jessie is now a cleaning guru.
Today on my day off, I am going round to 'bottom' my very elderly father in laws bedroom. Can I ask Soph how to get dried urine stains out of the mattress; How to freshen up his duvet and pillows without simply spraying febreze on them; How to clean the mildew from his unopened window sills; clean the nicotine stained walls/ceiling;
No, because I know how to do this, because either my mother showed me or I googled it. It will take me a good 2-3 hours to completely clean one room. I know he's minging, and to be honest, this is a 2-3 monthly job as it is grim, but the fact that he has agreed I can do it means I have to seize the moment.
Sopha and the likes with their Freshen up Fridays can chuff right off.
I will need a good hot shower and gin when i have finished, not a bloody tada list ticked off.

This is what I hate about the whole insta cleaning thing. Cleaning already pristine houses and getting praise for it. It creates so much judgement around something that genuinely isn’t an easy task for some people. No amount of watching some blonde bimbo shine a sink is going to give certain people any motivation to clean. I’ve seen someone on tiktok who offers her own free time to clean the houses of those who are living in really poor conditions. These are the types of people that should be praised for their cleaning. Take LMM on insta for example, she cleans professionally and I’ve seen her address people about the dms she receives regarding the state of houses, telling people not to judge. I just think the whole community is so toxic and certainly don’t think it’s as beneficial for mental health as certain people like to make out

 

[Instalol]

I call it now .. on Valentine’s Day they will pop a balloon with that irritating “pop” noise off TikTok.. a hand will cover the screen .. then the grinch will be holding the third child eating crunky snacks and drinking juice out of a bottle

 

[minky4life]

Done some digging guyz and the pram was always parent facing she just had the hood pulled all the way forward cutting off all of poor wonwons view of the outer world! I must have too much time on my hands

 

[mammaof3]

Thread suggestion by @Cucumber and eggs

Adapted to fit - To the sheep snooping on the hinch thread, your leader buys bots cos her content is dead

Red is cleaning.
Purple is inferred cleaning.
Blue is a link to the post.


Last thread catch up (328).
Rest of Tuesday
Captain Sir Thomas Moore passed away so she posted a tribute pic, what with her being a covidiot I think it’s rather distasteful and she repeated his quote of ‘tomorrow will be a good day’, really, good for whom?
A tiny bit of cleaning, the cutlery drawers get a look in.
She can’t sleep so a cool bath for an hour is helping, if you weren’t such a tit then you’d sleep like a baby.
Wednesday.
ZZZZ.pic
Magic challenge day 8 – something traumatic happened when she was 12?
Ron doesn’t like to get dressed so he picks out his own clothes, and saying ahh to a pic of the slack 2.
Cleaning the dirty ensuite shower, she hasn’t bothered for a while. Then proceeded to apply a sealant to pink mildew, wtf.
The dog got a petting.
She hit 4 million bots earlier but as yet no announcement.
and
Soph doesn't have a middle name, she added Rose in her teens.

Nicked from the JM thread.
Lastly, but importantly, when submitting ideas for the next thread title, please use the words ‘thread suggestion’ or just ‘thread’, as it makes it easier to search.
No other chat in the post so votes are for the thread suggestion only.
Also, try to hold off until around page. 40 for your suggestions, if possible.

Spoiler: Read if you must

BBQ scandal - Breaking lockdown rules by having a family bbq - reported in The Sun newspaper 28/04/2020 but she has never denied/confirmed it.

She left messages on a fans mobile phone so these can be listened to here. Voice Notes (VN) Thread 151 post 244

Nasty post regarding Tulisa left on her personal IG account.

For new members.

Kate to the party, nusty people, duty heart, crunky snack and #bekond are typos from Hinchers so Tattle are using them.
Among others, a few words below that we use, there are many more, either rude or sarcastic.
Janine, Inch, Onslow, Tom Hardy, Vestlife, Kanye Vest = Jamie (as he always seems to wear vests and Janine because he dressed up as a woman on a TV prog)
MadMaYahoo, Freda, Ma Barker = Zoph's mum.
His Lardship, Lardsome, fat bastard, chicken strip = Henry.
ATV = all the vest = Jamie wearing vests and she uses ATB (all the best).
RonRon etc. = Ronnie.
I’m thank you – what she said to Phil Scofield on her This Morning interview.
Plip and Plop = Flip and Flop the fisccch (as this is the sound they’ll make when they head down the toilet along with their 10+ children who are currently unnamed)

Attempting a worm.

 

[Letmereaditall]

Sorry Jamie but I can’t accept your message unless it’s written in ice cream. ATV

 

[Cucumber and eggs]

Wow Jamie's writing is coming on well!!

Hinch: Jamie, here's Ronnie's etchy sketch write me a message about how ive got 4 million followers!
Jamie: all right babe, how do you spell bootiful?

 

[HinchesSousChef]

In the 20 mins that my partner did bath time with the children I:
-cleared the dinner table
-vacuumed the food debris from around the table
-loaded the dishwasher
-loaded the washing machine
-Tidied the toys away
-Made Packed lunch for nursery
-made up hot water bottles for the beds
-got the bedtime milk ready
-got pyjamas out and ready
-got nursery clothes ready for tomorrow
-tidied away my partners wfh stuff
-fed the cats and cleared the litter tray
-Tidied the living room
-mopped the hallway

And didn’t even break a sweat. Cos it’s just NORMAL.
That doesn’t include all the other things I did during the day of course (one of which was a 2 hour walk where the 22 month old walked the entire time. No buggy).
I am certain many of you did A LOT more than me. I felt pretty lazy today .

 

[Boringsomes]

‘That’s 4 million showers cleaner than there was before’?????????
Did we not clean before Sophie came to Instagram like? Honestly am I missing something? Lost the fuckin plot the lot of them

 

[Makaraka]

Fixed it for you babe!

What is with the swingers grass in all these zelebs houses???
i fucking hate the stuff!
So many of my friends keep buying it and I’m like what’s wrong with some nice fresh daffodils or tulips?

 

[DaveTheDuster]

Why do they only eat pasta? I mean I know it’s easy but what’s wrong with a little ham joint or a chicken joint? Chuck it in the oven and it’s done. You don’t need to be a chef to actually make things Sophie, sure you could cut a few potatoes up and roast them or even boil and mash them to go with it’s really not that difficult single mother here and do a meal every night whilst trying to keep my 2 year old alive whilst I do it.

 

[Cat87]

Say ALOo MANZZ!
For godsake what hope is there for this child

 

[Just_Looking_]

It’s really pissing me off that people have tagged her into posts about Captain Tom, he was a genuine hero, she doesn’t deserve to share any space with him at all.

 

[Jbf]

I agree with her when she says kids will like what they like and they can find enjoyment in the weirdest of things. More power to Ronnie if he wants to stand in the rain sweeping. The issue for me is her pure laziness. She never seems to join in, the play is never enhanced to make it more fun or into a learning experience. Why isn’t she getting out there with him and interacting with him. It just looks like a lonely life. We don’t need to be breathing down kids necks 24/7 but he looks like he just entertains himself because nobody else will. Probably why he torments the dog so much. There was no reason she couldn’t have shoved some shoes on and splashed in puddles with him, even for 5 minutes for the purpose of a video would be a start. God forbid her hair gets wet

She's probably a bit wary to go outside in the back garden incase the birds decide to take residence in the absolute nest of her hair

 

[Alllllthefilters]

Fox poo - is code for flea shampoo (she hoping to sort out the jumpers before a sheep notices)

also why does she talk like that?? Shuuuu raaaarrkk

 

[amyossai]

Why

This type of crap 'journalism' needs to stop! I have suffered severe panic attacks since i was approx 18 and claiming a cold bath is a cure is damn right dangerous!!! How dare that scummy rag print such utter shite. If i was Hinch i would be trying to correct this press release. For God sake there are people suffering with MH in various forms who will try anything for relief and a cold bath is not one of them!! People need medical support from professionals. This is so damaging.

 

[AC55]

Just to go back to the ensuite and how dirty it was, pink mould is a bacterial biofilm and can, if left untreated, cause infections. As a cleaning "influencer" surely she should be using her platform to educate her followers? Instead she seems to have left that shower in an awful state just to make a point that her house isn't clean all the time? This just shows how fucked up she is in my opinion, and then she further confirms it by smearing grout freshener over bacteria instead of actually dealing with it properly. Absolute melonhead!

 

[Bleachscale]

Just seen SS story with a new feature wall above her sofa. How long until Soph does something similar x

Also, Joe said it looked like mould, I can't help think that's a dig!!

 

[SARAHDOESIT]

What’s with this trend for dried flowers? I’d hate to look at their brown, lifeless bodies all week, like Miss Haversham.

But more that that, why does she have to buy so MANY of everything? Shoes racks (not something I’d personally want next to my loo to have to wipe), she buys three, dried flowers, she buys loads of arrangements. I really couldn’t live in a house stuffed to the gills with utter crap.

Wait till Ronalong is able to stand up and do a big boy wee in the toilets. She will soon be shifting all the crap that is anywhere near the bowl. Trust me, boys are unable to aim correctly! Her shoe racks with toilet rolls and towels will be soaked. Plus the washing of hands with water going everywhere

 

[Jbjb]

She's not that clever
Butttt she'll be doing the mag shoot with the new sprog, front page, the lot, i'll put my life on it. She's a massive celeb now after all plus she did a military escape out of the hospital when Ron was born to escape the huge group of paps waiting outside (there was none) and had to escape her little fairyland and go on holiday cos paps were trying to put their cameras through the letter box at her house (they fukin weren't) so she defo wouldn't be out in public with the baby, not when EVERYOOOOONE says hello to them all on their monthly walk round the block.

I remember her saying they tried putting the cameras through the letter box and kept thinking, does she know how big a camera is unless she’s got a massive hole in her door I highly doubt their tried shoving their £400 + camera through a z listers letter box ffs

 

[ShivGlos29]

So SS shows Rex using an actual hoover, instead of a toy one! Then Inch shows Ron (on his own) in his wellies, in the rain - with a real sweeping brush! Tattle and SS parenting that child I swear