Mrs Hinch #163 Liar liar, Pampers on fire.

[LadyB]

I hate bullying and she is quite right to be worried about it but posting every little detail of that poor child's life on Instagram is doing him no favours in the future. She is probably one of those mams who wail and sob at the school gates as their child enters for their first day at school , traumatising them before they even go in. On an aside, my lad is 47 now but I remember his first day at school where I just shoved him in and told him he would have great fun and I'd see him later. When I picked him up in the afternoon I asked what he had had for dinner, what he had done in class and who he played with. He answered "Nobody would play with me" I told him not to bother and we would go the shop for sweets. I got the same answer every day and each day he got a bag of sweets and by the Thursday I was frantic with worry and told hubby to take the day off work on the Friday and stand behind the school wall at playtime. When he got back he told me our lad was playing football with a load of other kids the whole of playtime. I picked him up that afternoon, asked the same question and got the same answer. He got no sweets that day but he did get a clip around the lug for fibbing! Stop showing every move your little lad makes Mrs Hinch, it will come back to haunt you - and him. Stay safe people x

 

[Abcdefghijklmn]

'what if no one wants to play with ronnie'
'what if a girl breaks Ronnie's heart'
'what if he gets bullied'

Sophie why are you obsessed with making your son the victim in all your scenarios? He could grow up and be the one the leaving kids out, breaking a girls heart, being the bully? Or perhaps be could just be a normal human without all these situations you are creating.

Just let him be the baby he is then the child he will be, let him be a child and just be there for him.

 

[InstaFamous]

Why can’t Jamie cook? He does nothing!! I’ll hold my hands up now I hate cooking and have never cooked a meal from scratch for my family. My husband enjoys it, is very good at it and we eat really well. I see it as a trade off. We both work. I do most of the cleaning and keep the house in check. We share the taking care of the pets and our son. We never agreed it would be that way, it just works and I think most families are like this. What does Jamie do a part from cut the grass ffs ?

I always imagine Jamie stays in bed whilst Hinch gets up with Ronnie, putting on his best vest and surfacing in time for his breakfast to be placed in front of him at the dining room table where he can eat in peace whilst avoiding eye contact with Soph. Then he puts on his trusted flip flops and heads outside for a fag or two to “start the day off proper”. He puts in a shift at Hinch Ltd by slowly dragging the bedsheets off the bed so Soph can tiktok it, then it’s arse on the sofa for a solid hour and a half of Willy Hill whilst Ronnie naps. He probably wants a bit of peace, but is constantly surrounded by the noise of Sophie manically speaking into her phone, so I bet he wears his headphones. When Rons up he plays with the “little lad” in ways that only a true Essex boy can - kick a ball at him and call him a “little bruiser” a few times. At lunch he eats some of Ron’s portion when Soph is in the kitchen so she doesn’t have a meltdown that he hates her cooking. In the afternoon - lawn time. Raining? Mow the lawn. Sunny? Mow the lawn. Gale winds? Mow the lawn. Once that’s done he can drive the Audi to three different supermarkets to pick up some things for Soph to say “I just found these in the fridge!” When he gets home he gets his balls handed to him for leaving his flip flops out. Then it’s a tandem bath for Ronnie, a film of a pre-record for Soph, and a bit of talc filled fun.

Theres no time for “women’s work” in that busy day.

 

[Tp76]

The do Ron Ron's birthday present. Awh guyzzz it's even called Henry can you believe it we now have 2 fat fuck hoovers

We even put them to bed guyzzzz

 

[InstaFamous]

I reckon we should create a Tattle Bastard Bingo card for Ronnie’s big turning one.

I predict:

- a minkey themed cake OR cupcakes
- a video/photo montage set to Disney music
- a gushing message focussed on, you guessed it, Soph. (“Can’t believe I’M your mum. You’ve made MY life amazing. Everything I do, it’s all for you”)
- some reference to being able to tell Ronnie about “this crazy journey when he’s older”
- “alright guyz, you won’t believe this but joy of clean/zoflora/B&M have sent me this AMAZING parcel for Rons birthday. You can swipe up guyz if you want it too”
- Henry wears a party hat.

 

[Cagayu]

And busting through the bathroom door like Jack Nicholson in The Shining....
‘HERE’S RONNIE!’

 

[Noseybonk]

My 20 year old daughter has just come back from Asda (getting the family shopping for us) and said she saw someone on the way out grabbed by security. She nosey beaked and the woman had stolen Mrs Hinches book of lists . STAY CLASSY HINCHERS!

P.S. I have avoided sinking this low for a few days bur what the hell.... Hinchy, our wardrobe (which we worked long hours and saved up for) is far better than yours too ATV

 

[proseccolove]

Is this lass okay?

 

[Cakeowl]

Ronnie is going to grow up to be Dudley Dursley (Harry Potter’s obnoxious cousin) and she will always think him the innocent victim

it’s the worst kind of parent

 

[MoiraDingle]

New thread. Thanks to @Blackjack2 for the title, a clear winner with 66 likes!

Covidiot Sophies lockdown family BBQ article keeping our new members in the know!

 

[Greygardener]

Thread title suggestion: babyproof greyskull castle? No way, that's too much hassle!

 

[Vest_foot_forward]

Im not gonna be on here a lot today as got 'hinching' to do but my ex is a policeman for Maldon and he just picked my boy up. I asked about the BBQ and he said yea apparently she had one. I asked if anything was done but he said he has no idea....iv told him to be my secret squirrel lol i might even get him his own little picnic bench and all

 

[Bogwoppit]

I’ve just realised who Soph & Jamie remind me of....Dave & Denise from the Royle family i think
It’s the lack of being able to cook, the gormless expression on Jamie’s face & the fact Soph can’t be arsed with Ronnie!

 

[Lastqueenofscotland]

In 30 years time I bet Mrs hinch will be the mother in law from hell.

 

[Inkarea]

Has someone actually made their stairs like Jaws teeth on purpose?

 

[Good Egg]

Ring-o-Ring No Roasty. Hinchy cannot boasty! A tissue, a tissue* a full meltdown...

New thread title suggestion

 

[Chaser]

Surely to fuck Jamie gets the absolute pisa taken out of him from his mates when they see him on his wife's Instagram with that stupid old lady filter holy fuck it's bad enough when she uses it but that's pathetic. Is there actually a proper celeb couple who would affront themselves like that using granny filters? Have a word with yourselves fuck sake.

 

[Tootle Pip Wiz]

It's still kicking off on the Ok! post pahahaha.

 

[Bozhog81]

I'm probably being really petty here, but why has Ronnie got a cake to blow out. It isn't his birthday

Edited to add. Don't even get me started on the party hat. It comes across to me she's taking it away from Rex.
Yes I'm definitely being petty now

 

[shadyessex33]

He’s in that fucking Moses basket again! All crunched up into the foetal position. How would she like it if someone put her 7foot frame into a toddler bed and made her sleep like that?? Fucking idiot