*phone rings at 1:30 AM in Saukville, WI*
BankerMom: "What is it Kyle? We're sleeping."
Kyle: "Mommy you gotta do something! Tattle found me out again and ruined my big tough sock puppet. They're calling me a liar! I need you, Daddy Clown, and Big Sissy down here now!"
BankerMom: "We told you to stop using that sock puppet. They already know it's you Kyle."
Kyle: *starts crying* "Tell Alexa I need her to hold me. Casey is too skinny and she doesn't have any ta-tas. I need the big old hulk snuggle!"
BankerMom: "Kyle, it's late. We'll talk about this tomorrow."
Kyle: *high-pitched toddler shrieking noises*
Casey wakes up in background: "What is going on Kyle?"
BankerMom: "We'll discuss this tomorrow."
Kyle: "You don't love me! WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
*end of call*