Well Kat’s had quite the busy day out today. Let’s hope Track and Trace don’t end up trying to deal with her!
“Hello Mrs Farmer, can you give us a list of all contacts you’ve had since Friday please?”
“My husband is a lawyer, I can assure you no rules have been broken. He deals in pensions but he knows all the Covid rules, being a lawyer”
“Mrs Farmer, your contacts please?”
“My friend is a doctor, a self appointed doctor in Botox, but a doctor none the less”
“Mrs Farmer, your contacts!”
“I’m from Sevenoaks you know, and I’m on the BBC”
“Mrs Farmer!”
“Well, Friday I had coffee with a friend. Then I shipped my kids off all over the place so we could do more friend round for dinner. Keeping the rule of 6, my husband’s a lawyer you know!”
“Saturday, Mrs Farmer?”
“Well I was absolutely hanging after Friday night so I just went the supermarket. Sunday I went walking and Monday I was at home working”.
“Thank you Mrs Farmer, shouldn’t take too long to get in touch with everyone you’ve mentioned”.
“Oh Tuesday, let me tell you about Tuesday, my new normal. The nanny came early to sort the kids out so I could go to London.”
“You went to London?”
“Yes, for work. My husband’s a lawyer so that allowed. I got the train to London, went to my friend’s shop for work and tried on lots of stuff whilst stroking it for my Instagram footage. Then I went to Zara and tried on some flammable cheap crap for the poor market out there. Then I had lunch with a friend before meeting another friend and going for a freebie pointless dinner with lots of other influencers desperate for content”.