Jack Monroe #73 If your attitude is off-kilter, try a cartoon filter

[blurstoftimes]

I don't think she was as wild as she'd like people to think. She's too much of a try hard nowadays as it is. I bet she was a right little emo, and not in the cute scene kid kind of way, just a miserable little tit

I just imagine her being a regular old mousy plain jane and her idea of 'going wild' was occasionally drinking too many WKD's and puking blue sick outside of a Walkabout

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Same! She came here uninvited and then acted like everyone was demanding her time.

"Considering doing an Ask me Anything"

"Nah, you're alright thanks Jack, off you duck."

"Can I go for a piss and a sandwich?"

"bleeping hell, she still hasn't gone? Byeeeeeee."

All those valiant efforts to carry on a conversation about ice lolly flavours, and then she'd reappear and derail the chat again

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

@MarmiteExtract is my new hero - you are doing Gods Work with your references to when JM came to visit!

Totally OT but I'm a little excited, I have a call in 20mins with a real life Frau!!! (A German lady). I will try not to HOOT at her or ask if she is wearing traaaaazers.

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Are we still waiting for an answer to this, btw? Will we find out which post she was referring to shortly after we learn the fate of the pistachio milk?

 

[Veronicaaa]

She said she didn't previously use them, but that she does now overuse them at times.

View attachment 244884

When I read that filter paragraph on its own, I start to feel bad. And then I read the last line of her post and it makes me laugh all over again.

Original post here: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...-but-stayed-for-you.6973/page-22#post-1652912

I think the most interesting thing about this post (other than the victim blaming re. the kickstarter debacle - it's obvious reading the many, many complaints from people who didn't receive the book that they had been desperately trying to get into contact with her and yet she tries to say that it was the other way around - LIES) is the whole heroin bullet point. First of all, I don't think anyone had accused her of taking it and also it's clear that she was desperately trawling the pages trying to find anything remotely actionable.

 

[Pocahontas]

It was the most entertaining Tattle day by a long mile, so I'm always happy to go back down that road I just spotted your question to her about kumquats, hahaha!

And I spotted this
Ooh, burn girl!

 

[MarmiteExtract]

Frau!!! (A German lady)

This helpful translation has really tickled me

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

This helpful translation has really tickled me

This was my attempt at making it clear it wasn't a call with one of the cabal

 

[Dogmuck]

Are we still waiting for an answer to this, btw? Will we find out which post she was referring to shortly after we learn the fate of the pistachio milk?

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Showing her call centre skills here. Actual job

 

[GrunkaLunka]

This was my attempt at making it clear it wasn't a call with one of the cabal

Or is it??? There are so many of us. You need to slip in a code word every time you meet someone, to check.

 

[acca00]

Jack says that it was Louisa who asked to be called "Mrs J" in the relationship. but didn't Jack call Allegra "Mrs J" when they were together?

 

[Emmapism]

Or is it??? There are so many of us. You need to slip in a code word every time you meet someone, to check.

Sidle up to someone in a supermarket and whisper 'are you familiar with my body of work Barbara?'

 

[blurstoftimes]

Sidle up to someone in a supermarket and whisper 'are you familiar with my body of work Barbara?'

One of my favourite aspects of Jack's storytelling idiosyncrasies is how everyone seems to sneak up and nervously, gently whisper things in her ear - precious and fragile little street urchin that she is.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I agree. A Facebook friend shares the daily minutiae of their two toddlers, including toilet training. Which is TMI.

But of course, they also share photos of the turds... which often are not in the potty, but are accidents on the carpet or on outside toys.

wtaf is wrong with people?! As an adult imagine if you shat yourself in public & it went viral how humiliating It would be, why would you willingly do that to your child? The #content isn’t even of interest, like yeah baby tit is gross, the Pope is catholic, Jack is a maverick, these are the universal truths our planet runs on - we don’t need reminding!

 

[crystaleyesd]

Oh god, now she's begging her followers to tell her how amazing she is so she can fill another lever arch (lol) with their praise. I'm so bleeping embarrassed for her

ETA: duck I didn't realise she meant physically send stuff. This is really bleeping pathetic.

 

[lilamay]

Oh god, now she's begging her followers to tell her how amazing she is so she can fill another lever arch (lol) with their praise. I'm so bleeping embarrassed for her

Wow she's really setting up a PO box for people to send her their letters of adoration

 

[Ellabella]

I'm still on tenterhooks waiting for her to "gather [her] thoughts coherently" on FB about the comic filter *taps foot*.

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Wow she's really setting up a PO box for people to send her their letters of adoration

If she wanted a folder of nice comments, she could print out screenshots or emails.
If she wanted gifts sent to her, she would set up a PO box.
Stay classy Jack.

 

[Montrachet]

Oh god, now she's begging her followers to tell her how amazing she is so she can fill another lever arch (lol) with their praise. I'm so bleeping embarrassed for her

It really is time for a big daytime sleep, Bagpuss. Her LONG plea for people to tell her how she has changed their life is beyond parody. My cringe is .

All these big cuddles / chuckles / snuggles posts seem to be oddly following the pattern of Sophie Ellis Pretzel. What next - blow-dry him with a Dyson?

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Sidle up to someone in a supermarket and whisper 'are you familiar with my body of work Barbara?'

#74 Are you familiar with my body of work Barbara?

I’m friends with a mum from school who has 3 kids. They’re all 12 and up now and she still constantly posts photos of them. The eldest repeatedly has to tell her to take of him off. Quite often they are really horrible/unflattering pictures. Why she thinks they are going to be pleased about it I don’t know.