Jack Monroe #73 If your attitude is off-kilter, try a cartoon filter

[ShowMeYourFeline]

Cabal I am going to be Grunkaing for while as my Granma has come to stay with us for the next few weeks. She has had heart trouble and a fall which ended in a hospital stay and because she lives alone in Sweden no less (we are based in Scotland) I felt it was about time she got a proper spoiling, so we flew her over. It's been lovely to see her again especially since our last visit was for my grandpa's funeral and she has met my daughter at last so its extra specia. My daughter can't travel yet as she has a serious lung condition and Covid has made things extra difficult.

Enough about me though or you will think I am Jack. This is probably going to be unpopular but I think Jack is a bit of a tit mum. I do have what I think are good reasons. Starting with all the sensitive info and pics of him she posted tonight. Also the tweets about his mental health. Using him to sell herself. Discussing him as though he was to blame for her career ending. Deliberately not telling the father she was pregnant. All the failed relationships, house moves, pets,the kitten, going to Edinburgh without him. Spark out on the sofa and making him check she is breathing. Not caring that her antics might lead to his being bullied.

I know no one is perfect, I think most parents myself included would be the first to admit that but a lot of what she has done could have been avoided or handled better. I do think she will lose him one day. The alternate smothering with love versus the resentment at being a mum will confuse him. It might lead him to googling her though I hope not. Unfortunately Jack always comes first when it should really be him.

Sadly I agree with you. I wish I didn't but I think it's correct.

All these "funny" "affectionate" "jokey" comments about Small Boy (I hate that cold nickname btw) are pure nasty. The glee about her accidentally breaking his arm in three places when he was a toddler, and this latest comment about smeggy underwear are despicable and unsettling. I got my last post about the broken arm one removed so I won't say the extent that I really disliked that comment of hers. I also didn't like her description of mothering a baby comparing it to raising a puppy; she said something like "you give it food, you give it love". I can't remember the exact wording but her intention was to come across as jokey and glib, but it seemed to me like the truest things are said in jest.

Every remark she makes about him - whether pretending to be concerned (like the grammar school decision tweets); anecdotes; jokes; incidental comments; or using him in storytelling for pity points; to me every single remark of hers feels like it has a bubbling undercurrent of resentment. She never says anything nice, genuine or warm about him (hi Jack! I know you're reading and are about to make a show of gushing over your son).

Pretending to be unconscious isn't the only time she has put on a show for her son, remember she has also made a show of being crippled by arthritis on a supermarket floor, and her child had to help her do shopping. I reckon these illness displays are a regular occurrence.

Regarding her behaviour, my mum has a tendency to attention seek, lie, exaggerate, and pretend to be ill. She did this a lot during a stressful few years during my childhood. Jack's making dramatic shows of being ill in front of her son remind me of my mum, but much, much worse.

I bet that (not so) Small Boy has already cottoned on to the fact that she is a drama queen, liar and an attention seeker, and is rapidly losing respect for her.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Noooooo please don't react, from now on my posts will be under a cartoon filter of shame

You’re gonna be number #74 at this rate with the worst scanning rhymer we’ve had but it’s too funny

 

[kachoochoo]

I'm all for rhyming titles if they scan. It's when they're like "She loves sideboards but hates spending time with the daughters of literal lords" that they get a bit cringey.

but she'd love to spend time with the daughters of literal lords! imagine how many sideboards she could fit into a manor house!

 

[Stickybeaker33]

I’m sorry could someone fill me in on her sons arm or link me to past thread?

 

[Captainmouse]

You could always press the ‘Most liked posts’ tab at the top of the page towards the end of the thread (each one is about 51 pages ) and this will show you the most popular posts, including thread titles!) This is what I task my raccoon friend with doing.


Yes! And sometimes I press the wrong thing: a instead of or a instead of with my sausage hands.

If you press it again you can undo, then choose another one. Except of course

Hang on. She’s a mouse in real life? I thought she was usually found kicking shins and telling Jude Law to sit the duck down?

a little mouse with clogs on

 

[Emmapism]

Ah, yes, using the cartoon filter to protect the identity of her son, the bowl of pasta.

As ever, she is absolutely ridiculous.

Ok this made me HOOT.

The bowl of pasta emerges from the crappy bungalow in a trench coat and sunglasses.

'We must put you in protective custody my pasta son, or else this hateful group will somehow do something disgusting that will.....hurt....violate.....ah duck it just get your pasta shells in the car'

 

[ShowMeYourFeline]

I’m sorry could someone fill me in on her sons arm or link me to past thread?

Sorry I don't know how to find it. Basically a couple of weeks ago she tweeted about an incident when she accidentally pushed her toddler off the swing, and he broke his arm in three places. At A&E they questioned her and her son. She relayed this story in a jokey, unbothered tone which many of us found sinister. She didn't show any guilt or concern for the immense pain her tiny son must have suffered.

 

[Harrybosch]

Ok this made me HOOT.

The bowl of pasta emerges from the crappy bungalow in a trench coat and sunglasses.

'We must put you in protective custody my pasta son, or else this hateful group will somehow do something disgusting that will.....hurt....violate.....ah duck it just get your pasta shells in the car'

Jackie will be fuming like an over brewed kombucha at your post, because her bowl of pasta does NOT OWN A CAR!

 

[kgaff3]

Oh god, and that appalling Rita Ora was down there too trying to insert herself into everything. She and Lily Allen are both privileged kids doing the pov cosplay - lots in common with Jack.


They certainly have quite a strict fitness test. Jack seems to suggest she would have sailed through it, although she seems to have forgotten the multiple ailments she has recorded in the past.


Cos she’s lying. Adding precise figures and unnecessary detail into their lies (97kg, 3 of everything etc.) is a hallmark of compulsive liars.


I think you’ll find this is the official uniform of lady firefighters in Essex.

When she says she 'worked in the fire service' I think she answered the phone. She didn't go out and fight fires. She never says this though - just another subtle level of lying where she doesn't say what she actually did.

 

[Silver Linings]

More Mumblogger content this morning to side eye. She’s like a Richard Curtis script.

 

[Breakdance Badass]

Having a son around the same age I was disgusted when she wrote yesterday about her son’s “smeggy underwear”, it’s just a repulsive phrase to use and if his friends are on social media he will well and truly get the piss ripped out him. She treats him like a baby, I’m still shocked she puts him to bed at 7.30pm. Like how? I have to cajole mine about 2 hrs later to attempt to get him to bed!

 

[kgaff3]

The Twitter post about restricting replies so friends can't 'wade in with horror pics' of her teenage clubbing years She still has friends from her teen years? I very much doubt it! Even I don't and I'm not a twit! Also think she will reverse that decision because she would revel in the limelight for 5 minutes if an old 'friend' popped up with embarrassing photos - she could consult a lawyer and sue them!

 

[crystaleyesd]

"Tiny blonde alarm clock" - she's so full of tit. He's almost taller than you Jack, and will SHOCK, probably manage to squeak past the giddy height of 5'1.7".

 

[kachoochoo]

what a load of shite

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Thanks everyone, I am now BUSYier than ever with so many people to care for but it's a good kind of busy.
Jack is in gushing mum mode I see but it also reads like her son is standing for something at school where he has to be voted for. I hope her tweets don't damage his chances. I'd forgotten about his broken arm but I do remember she was disgustingly gleeful about it.

 

[Ellabella]

Her endless, saccharin posts about her son are doing my head in. How does she have the gall when she's been saying us trolls have left her in fear of their safety? I've learnt more about Jonathon these last few days than I know about my nephew. Does she genuinely think her 287k followers are all her besties?

 

[kgaff3]

I have so many questions about the 'editing a nude' ?!?
I wonder was it in cartoon filter? Who was it for? Why? Why? Why? Just why?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

She's a coward. A snivelling, mealy-mouthed, boot-licking excuse for a person who can only stand up for herself when she's safely on the internet. Any story of her being aggressive and outspoken 'in real life' I just don't believe. She's a bully and only knows how to punch down.

(she really fucked me off last night and turns out I woke up still mad)

Funnily this morning I also thought of her briefly & how little self worth she clearly has, it’s why she is happy betraying herself so often but also doesn’t think twice about betraying others? Betraying sounds OTT but basically overstepping boundaries and not doing right by people? I do have empathy for someone who is clearly unwell & not sober, but she does do some unfathomable things that warrant discussing here.

Also on her IRL mousey demeanour, she massively lacks confidence and it’s palpable. Instead of doing the work to build it, she becomes more grotesque and insular lashing out at the world, and the legal threats are part of that. I am by no means comparing her to sex attackers for their crimes, but isn’t it peculiar that she joins the ranks of Weinstein / Cosby / East Area Rapist in donning a cane to make court appearances? It’s optically very smart.

This is why the threats for court don’t bother me anymore tbh. Firstly what we’re doing is by no means legal, but I’m an adult woman with bounds of self esteem who is capable of having a pleasant chat to someone I don’t like - she’s the one that would struggle to even maintain eye contact. It’s truly pitiable. And why she’s never gotten anywhere with her career as “minor media personality” beyond some tit cookbooks (yes bestsellers can be tit the public have no taste x) printed on the cheapest format possible

 

[Pocahontas]

Having a son around the same age I was disgusted when she wrote yesterday about her son’s “smeggy underwear”, it’s just a repulsive phrase to use and if his friends are on social media he will well and truly get the piss ripped out him. She treats him like a baby, I’m still shocked she puts him to bed at 7.30pm. Like how? I have to cajole mine about 2 hrs later to attempt to get him to bed!

‘Smeggy underwear’ is a really gross phrase to use about your son on a public platform. Cos I don’t give a crap, Jack - I don’t care if you’re ‘locked’ - 278 k followers is public. She uses him as a narrative device for whatever latest facet of her personality she wants to give time to. It’s astounding that she thinks it’s ok.

One minute he’s a sweet little cherub mumbling, ‘Found you mama’, and the next he’s acting like a grumpy pre-teen and shoving his underwear down sides of beds. Just keep private stuff private, Jack. Otherwise, you know, hateful discussion groups will have a field day.

 

[MarmiteExtract]

This is why the threats for court don’t bother me anymore tbh. Firstly what we’re doing is by no means legal, but I’m an adult woman with bounds of self esteem who is capable of having a pleasant chat to someone I don’t like - she’s the one that would struggle to even maintain eye contact.

By no means illegal, do you mean?! Just before we send any well-meaning fraus into a tizz...