Jack Monroe #73 If your attitude is off-kilter, try a cartoon filter

[Uberrima fides]

Cabal I am going to be Grunkaing for while as my Granma has come to stay with us for the next few weeks. She has had heart trouble and a fall which ended in a hospital stay and because she lives alone in Sweden no less (we are based in Scotland) I felt it was about time she got a proper spoiling, so we flew her over. It's been lovely to see her again especially since our last visit was for my grandpa's funeral and she has met my daughter at last so its extra specia. My daughter can't travel yet as she has a serious lung condition and Covid has made things extra difficult.

Enough about me though or you will think I am Jack. This is probably going to be unpopular but I think Jack is a bit of a tit mum. I do have what I think are good reasons. Starting with all the sensitive info and pics of him she posted tonight. Also the tweets about his mental health. Using him to sell herself. Discussing him as though he was to blame for her career ending. Deliberately not telling the father she was pregnant. All the failed relationships, house moves, pets,the kitten, going to Edinburgh without him. Spark out on the sofa and making him check she is breathing. Not caring that her antics might lead to his being bullied.

I know no one is perfect, I think most parents myself included would be the first to admit that but a lot of what she has done could have been avoided or handled better. I do think she will lose him one day. The alternate smothering with love versus the resentment at being a mum will confuse him. It might lead him to googling her though I hope not. Unfortunately Jack always comes first when it should really be him.

Wishing you and your family all the best. We shall look forward to your return.

For me, the thing about Jack and her son is that she could have had a good going career which would have benefitted the two of them. She has had the opportunities, but has mucked them up. She really shouldn't be discussing her son on social media with strangers because if he doesn't Google her, his classmates or their parents surely will. Sadly, the exposure of her lies, exaggeration and bizarre antics could lead to bullying, particularly when he goes to secondary school.

 

[Silver Linings]

Thank you Marmalade Atkins and Moobelle. so there's no file where one can see all of the proposed ones before a new thread is named? It's an 'as you go along' thing'?

I suppose you could check the most liked posts of the thread so far but if you’ve already liked a post then you can’t actually do anything. We take it waaaay less seriously than some other threads.

 

[Cookiecookie]

She could involve her child, but in far more tasteful ways than discussing the state of his pants to hundreds of thousands of people. Not even in a massive way, just things like 'SB and I had a great time baking some snacks for school, here's what we did', or 'can't write much today, hanging out with SB before he visits his dad'

A lot of bloggers involve their kids in a non exploitative way (obviously there are plenty of gross ones out there) but then it wouldn't be all about Jack if she did that. She uses the poor lad like she does everything else in her life.

 

[Gentlemensrelish]

We’re still stuck in Toon Town. Apparently, it’s to ‘stay safe’, because ‘unscrupulous people [are] stealing photos of [her] son to plaster on their hateful discussion groups’ in order to ‘violate for their disgusting ends’.

Ah, yes, using the cartoon filter to protect the identity of her son, the bowl of pasta.

As ever, she is absolutely ridiculous.

 

[Malacandra]

Oh god, and that appalling Rita Ora was down there too trying to insert herself into everything. She and Lily Allen are both privileged kids doing the pov cosplay - lots in common with Jack.

I'm going to stick my neck out for Rita, because she is from the area. People reported that Adele mucked in and kept in touch. At the very small risk of being triangulated, my film-maker friend is Nendie Pinto-Duschinsky.

Cabal I am going to be Grunkaing for while as my Granma has come to stay with us for the next few weeks. She has had heart trouble and a fall which ended in a hospital stay and because she lives alone in Sweden no less (we are based in Scotland) I felt it was about time she got a proper spoiling, so we flew her over. It's been lovely to see her again especially since our last visit was for my grandpa's funeral and she has met my daughter at last so its extra specia. My daughter can't travel yet as she has a serious lung condition and Covid has made things extra difficult.

I'm glad that you can love and spoil your granma. I wish that I could offer something other than platitudes regarding your daughter.

do you also hesitate wildly between reactions because part was funny but part was sad?

Yes! Every flipping time!

 

[Stickybeaker33]

When you make kombucha the first ferment, in the big containers, should just be done with black tea and sugar. Some green tea is ok too. Then in the next stage you flavour it (don’t know about rice though???). It doesn’t matter in the scheme of all her bullshit but it’s annoying that she’s been doing it for such a short time but is going to share instructions and act like an expert when she doesn’t have a clue.

 

[BananaSmith]

Ha yeah so do I actually I kind of like most posts I read which gets a bit tying cos then I feel guilty if I miss one out

Babe, same x

 

[Oofadoofa]

They certainly have quite a strict fitness test. Jack seems to suggest she would have sailed through it, although she seems to have forgotten the multiple ailments she has recorded in the past.

Yea she is the weirdest of characters. She seems to assume complete mastery of absolutely everything, especially physical prowess, and to suggest otherwise is a personal slight bordering on discrimination. But running alongside this arrogance and with exactly the same level of insistence, she wants people to believe that she’s incapacitated to the level of being disabled. Whether she wants others to assume that she’s some sort of superwoman, capable of great feats despite what would normally be insurmountable challenges, one can only guess, but it quite clearly points to both positions being total made-up bollocks.

Also, about celebs trying to inject themselves into news stories, it’s the most shocking of behaviour and really betrays the unhinged aspect of celebrity. What is it that drives them to do it? One can only assume their massive, over-inflated egos. And about the ego and it’s destructive nature, have personally not read a better book than A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle that explains it but am definitely open to more suggestions, should any of this knowledgable cabal have any....

 

[Pocahontas]

Thank you Marmalade Atkins and Moobelle. so there's no file where one can see all of the proposed ones before a new thread is named? It's an 'as you go along' thing'?

You could always press the ‘Most liked posts’ tab at the top of the page towards the end of the thread (each one is about 51 pages ) and this will show you the most popular posts, including thread titles!) This is what I task my raccoon friend with doing.

do you also hesitate wildly between reactions because part was funny but part was sad?

Yes! And sometimes I press the wrong thing: a instead of or a instead of with my sausage hands.

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

@Pocahontas my doctorates combined with finally being a Chatty Member again make this a good day!

I know some people hate rhyming titles but this one just felt right (I hate that filter!)

 

[GrunkaLunka]

Afraid my dear heart @Silver Linings missed out with her suggestion of: ‘All for the want of a pair of traaazers’. Bit too late to gain any traction (this time)

Thread #74 is here guys, surely?

 

[Froggies]

Hang on. She’s a mouse in real life? I thought she was usually found kicking shins and telling Jude Law to sit the duck down?

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

Hang on. She’s a mouse in real life? I thought she was usually found kicking shins and telling Jude Law to sit the duck down?

That's the Twitter version of real life JM. The real life version probably blushed and said thanks very Jude much.

 

[Bobtheknob]

Enough about me though or you will think I am Jack. This is probably going to be unpopular but I think Jack is a bit of a tit mum.

I completely agree with you. A prime example is taking something he loved and completely destroying it. He came back from his dads with his David Walliams book which he obviously enjoyed and took delight in. She then proceeded to publicly annihilate the story, the author and his enjoyment of it. He would have been crushed and embarrassed.
She would have taken delight in it.

My mother is a narcissist and this is the sort of thing she would have done.

Power and control, being nasty and belittling him, probably his father too. Now she is humiliating him, again, power and control. She’s a narcissist and in my opinion a dreadful mother.

 

[crystaleyesd]

Hang on. She’s a mouse in real life? I thought she was usually found kicking shins and telling Jude Law to sit the duck down?

She's a coward. A snivelling, mealy-mouthed, boot-licking excuse for a person who can only stand up for herself when she's safely on the internet. Any story of her being aggressive and outspoken 'in real life' I just don't believe. She's a bully and only knows how to punch down.

(she really fucked me off last night and turns out I woke up still mad)

 

[Alansbigplate]

Hang on. She’s a mouse in real life? I thought she was usually found kicking shins and telling Jude Law to sit the duck down?

 

[colouredlines]

@Pocahontas my doctorates combined with finally being a Chatty Member again make this a good day!

I know some people hate rhyming titles but this one just felt right (I hate that filter!)

I'm all for rhyming titles if they scan. It's when they're like "She loves sideboards but hates spending time with the daughters of literal lords" that they get a bit cringey.

 

[Alansbigplate]

That's the Twitter version of real life JM. The real life version probably blushed and said thanks very Jude much.

Thanks very Jude much Jude

I'm all for rhyming titles if they scan. It's when they're like "She loves sideboards but hates spending time with the daughters of literal lords" that they get a bit cringey.

but I adore this suggestion dear heart

 

[TriviaNewtonJohn]

I'm all for rhyming titles if they scan. It's when they're like "She loves sideboards but hates spending time with the daughters of literal lords" that they get a bit cringey.

That one is good though

 

[colouredlines]

Noooooo please don't react, from now on my posts will be under a cartoon filter of shame