Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

[StringyMango]

Do you think her plants are still alive?
I was reading a ( not very good) book about herbal folklore earlier.Hydrangeas in your garden means you will never marry apparently.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Comments Club member: I saw the sun rise this morning.

Jack: Yes, a massive ball of flaming gas that travels on an orbit and appears in the west to shed its deliciously golden beams upon us all every day. I ran around on the beach once when it was shining down, I've never forgotten that.

I, Jack Monroe’s memories of the sun flit around my mind like…

Je suis la belle soft wool sun

Poverty campaigner FFS. What a load of old bolllx.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Yeah and I don’t even understand what point she’s trying to make here. All bourbon biscuits are cheap, that’s kind of their point. What other kind of bourbon biscuit is there? It’s not like Heston Blumenthal’s doing a hand fired valhrona ganache crumble bourbon sandwich biscuit for Waitrose is he?

She’s probably actually sat there with a tin of handcrafted bourbons from Harrods, tenderstem

(No idea if Harrods sell bourbons but I feel like if they did they’d be in a posh tin!)

 

[MurielSnark]

Do you think her plants are still alive?
I was reading a ( not very good) book about herbal folklore earlier.Hydrangeas in your garden means you will never marry apparently.

Hydrangeas also poisonous to dogs so best avoided altogether.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Why bother filtering the duck out of your face, yet not touching up the grey hairs?

Is that to make it look more authentic?

 

[RandomFishOils]

It’s only filtered her eye bags and wrinkles on the side of her face nearest the camera. She looks 55 on one side and 35 on the other.

 

[Hollaaa]

I'd be asking for a refund on that sunbeam.

 

[nothanksbabes]

Do you think her plants are still alive?
I was reading a ( not very good) book about herbal folklore earlier.Hydrangeas in your garden means you will never marry apparently.

Ahhh tit, that's where I've gone wrong

 

[MavisBeacon]

It’s only filtered her eye bags and wrinkles on the side of her face nearest the camera. She looks 55 on one side and 35 on the other.

You're not wrong..

Also, nice lip filler

 

[StringyMango]

Plus Cornwall is criminally under-resourced for health care. All those second home owners and only one hospital for the entire county.

17 ITU beds in Cornwall, according to our friends who live there.

 

[houseofhoop]

You're not wrong..
View attachment 2877976
View attachment 2877978
Also, nice lip filler

Excuuuuse you. How dare you. She’s been eating sizzlin sour Pringles.
here’s the evidence

 

[rage naan]

Excuuuuse you. How dare you. She’s been eating sizzlin sour Pringles.
here’s the evidence
View attachment 2878019

That's 12.5% of the weekly food budget there.

 

[MooBelle]

Hydrangeas also poisonous to dogs so best avoided altogether.

Don't worry Muriel, Content doesn't live with her so no danger of her eating a hydrangea at Jack's house.
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I'd be asking for a refund on that sunbeam.

Thread Title nomination please

 

[Valiofthedolls]

But BUT if you buy the cheap tinned tomatoes for years, you too can afford multiple £100+ hats!

I mean, if this isn’t an effective advertisement for buying most the expensive tinned tomatoes and pasta you can find for [checks notes] a whole damn decade so you have nothing left to put into your Hat Fund, nothing is.

Spoiler

Such an embarrassment to herself.

 

[BlendedSlop]

I, Jack Monroe’s memories of the sun flit around my mind like…
View attachment 2877859

Je suis la belle soft wool sun
View attachment 2877856
Poverty campaigner FFS. What a load of old bolllx.

Between soft softy soft soft wool suns attracting hideously decaying copulating moths (wait, or was that the Hopkins butterfly metaphor? I lose track with her bullshit sometimes), rose copper moons turning their gaze from her quim, and chicken-stars, I think we can safely say she knows as much about celestial bodies as she does Georgian cuisine.

Also, I got this ad earlier and thought it was some of her execrable crafting for a moment.

Has she got a job as a designer for Next while she's been away? Looks exactly like the kind of hideous, pointless, time-consuming crap she'd come up with to avoid doing any actual work.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Yeah and I don’t even understand what point she’s trying to make here. All bourbon biscuits are cheap, that’s kind of their point. What other kind of bourbon biscuit is there? It’s not like Heston Blumenthal’s doing a hand fired valhrona ganache crumble bourbon sandwich biscuit for Waitrose is he?

I’d buy that. It’s Heston though, he’d duck it by adding bone marrow miso gel in the middle.
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if they’re copying and pasting screenshots straight from here,

Jack Monroe #568 Things Jack doesn't understand - Gaslighting, Gas heating, Gastronomy

they could at least do an extra two mins research to find the originals

MILDLY lactose intolerant View attachment 2877760
View attachment 2877759

'My supermarket shop cost less than a fiver'. Jack Monroe top tips

While households are constantly being reminded to switch their energy suppliers or bank providers to stay on top of bills, the weekly shopping list is less often scrutinised.

www.thisismoney.co.uk

FLUCTUATINGLY lactose intolerant (pissy and defensive cos she doesn’t know the price of milk)
View attachment 2877777

GREATLY lactose intolerant indeed (this one about “SPITE Burberry” profligate guest’s financial wisdom is quite the read)
View attachment 2877761View attachment 2877762

Closer’s #MoneyMondays with Jack Monroe

What was your last splurge buy? A white slouchy jumper from Mary Portas at...

closeronline.co.uk

WAAAAHEEEEEEY!!!!
View attachment 2877793

Wasn’t lactose itinerant when she was boring everyone about all the viennettas was she?

 

[rage naan]

I’d buy that. It’s Heston though, he’d duck it by adding bone marrow miso gel in the middle.
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Wasn’t lactose itinerant when she was boring everyone about all the viennettas was she?

VBI = Viennettas Belie Intolerance

 

[HotesTilaire]

VBI = Viennettas Belie Intolerance

Well she hasn’t got that, either

 

[Lobster Johnson]

She's the classic Liverpool fan- not from round here.

Don't come for me fam. Am from along line of bitters. We have to say the above reflexively.

I share your affliction and I curse the generational trauma our families handed to us.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

Maybe Agent Adrian has managed to scrape her a cameo on Deadliest Catch

That's what she'd be called if she went on MAFS.....