Jack Monroe #509 The Silence of the Scams.

[BubbleDuck]

She's as thick as a submarine door

As thick as a submarine door
As useful as a submarine door cat flap

 

[FrumpyCat]

Don't forget the hoops!

He has actually hand written 'rinse before use' on a can of hoops.

 

[Yer_wha?!]

Looks like the trolls are all skint after last week, what a shame. View attachment 2199254
(There is one more also sold out but won't fit on screen)

They've got her on to actually talk about Grifty Kitchen?!

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I'm not a Walliams fan, but Jack is vindictive and totally bitter of anyone else's success. It's a big theme with her. Half of her pile ons don't even make sense. What prompted the Jamie Oliver hate? What's her problem with Kerridge? Does she not see that these people are all more popular than her?

BIB- yes, that’s why she hates them.

 

[TheMiceInTheShed]

Christ.
To it ALL just, Christ.

I don't take the Lord's name in vain, but bliddy hell! That's EXACTLY what I thought!

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Looks like the trolls are all skint after last week, what a shame. View attachment 2199254
(There is one more also sold out but won't fit on screen)

This is no shade to string quartets but… imagine a string quartet selling out while you’ve got tickets for your competing slot coming out of your ears. Lol.

 

[Mr Krabs]

These people are all white men and therefore privileged and undeserving of their success, irregardless of their talent and hard work*, whereas she is a smol poor working class ouchie trans lesbian single mother who deserves to be famous because she deserves it, irregardless of her lack of talent and hard work.

It’s ridiculous because she had a much more privileged upbringing than Tom Kerridge, or even Jamie Oliver. Lots of celeb chefs come from working class backgrounds and worked their arses off in restaurant kitchens for years. Not just making marmalade and getting underfoot either.

 

[Celeste90]

I’m sure I’m not the first to ask but whererrerr are those plug sockets from

Spoiler: Socket mither

they are varilight rainbow range, dearheart

Slightly more on topic, praying for a bank hol chaos as I am in an area of the country constantly ballsed up by holiday traffic and can therefore not make any plans involving the car. Hammock in the sunshine, beer and chaos sounds dreamy

 

[ForgettyBetty]

This is no shade to string quartets but… imagine a string quartet selling out while you’ve got tickets for your competing slot coming out of your ears. Lol.

Want to add the Barbara (Borb) Kingsolver has an 11:30 talk before this one, and that's sold out too.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Lads, I've just tried to use an actual JACK HACK in the wild.

Toasted myself some crumpets - they're the posh version of either Tesco or Co-Op's homebrand - and the holes are so small, your butter doesn't melt all the way through them like the absolute godly Warburton's ones. So I went to find something to prong them with.

A spectacular bleeping failure, OBVIOUSLY.

Also, a confession: I don't really know what a radish even is. Bit like a beetroot?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I think Jack assumed she was black because she'd never heard the word 'tutelage' before and therefore assumed it had something to do with Desmond Tutu. Not even joking.

It was that, and the character had frizzy curly hair. So Jack assumed the character was black

 

[HotesTilaire]

what about The Eels and The Pig Head?

Saw them at Glasto in 03, they were shite.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Lads, I've just tried to use an actual JACK HACK in the wild.

Toasted myself some crumpets - they're the posh version of either Tesco or Co-Op's homebrand - and the holes are so small, your butter doesn't melt all the way through them like the absolute godly Warburton's ones. So I went to find something to prong them with.

A spectacular bleeping failure, OBVIOUSLY.

Also, a confession: I don't really know what a radish even is. Bit like a beetroot?

A radish is something you can poison your publishing team with.

 

[HotesTilaire]

BIB- yes, that’s why she hates them.

That, and no protected characteristics.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Don't forget the hoops!

A tin of hoops, your cloth and carabiners.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Want to add the Barbara (Borb) Kingsolver has an 11:30 talk before this one, and that's sold out too.

I Iove the name Kingsolver! It's very Game of Thrones. If I was a GOT character I'd be Slopthrasher or Griftslayer

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Anyone got a spare £500 to purchase 49 tickets for Hay?

It's the most it'd let me put in my basket .

Does that mean 49 seat left to sell?
Maybe.. dunno.. it's in a small tent, 50 is the capacity..

 

[Yer_wha?!]

She's been liking a couple of tweets on the hell site. One about chunks of stress, being exhausted and just wanting to sleep. She's like bleeping clockwork isn't she? Though a broken clock is actually right twice a day- Jack never is.

She knows she can't tweet about QT, she will get absolutely slaughtered with the quote tweets (figuratively, Jack. Not literally)

 

[Seaford Haggington]

She's been liking a couple of tweets on the hell site. One about chunks of stress, being exhausted and just wanting to sleep. She's like bleeping clockwork isn't she? Though a broken clock is actually right twice a day- Jack never is.

She knows she can't tweet about QT, she will get absolutely slaughtered with the quote tweets (figuratively, Jack. Not literally)

What a sad, wretched existence she has created for herself.

And as for liking tweets about mental health, the absolute gall. She feels bad because she has done bad and is a bad person. Multiple grifts, endless lying and manipulation. That isn't mental health, it is guilt. You shouldn't be able to function normally when trying to keep all that wickedness hidden.

 

[MistyWindows]

Saw them at Glasto in 03, they were shite.

Oh my god Monroeverse band names!

Pighead and the Eels
Rugsack Full of Goatleg
Cooper and the Bramblymice
Rug of Doom
Death Pumble
Ouchy Shoulder
Nightmeat
Asda Trek
Deadcat of Twitter