Jack Monroe #509 The Silence of the Scams.

[Orphan_Black]

Well done @bizwizz89 for your words, and for @Ms Biscuit for the nomination, you win an empty chair from the empty halls of a Jack Monroe gig.

She did her talks, no one cared, still no sign of the money, all seems quiet on the honking front.

Newbies-please have a goosey-gander at the Wiki above (pink button, y'all)

 

[Thank(space)you]

Excellent thread title!

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Throwback to one of guest's less well remembered blog posts just because it's funny: I gave up my smartphone for a Nokia 3310 and radically changed my life. Warning for mentions of rape and the uncensored N-word and R-word, Jack doesn't warn for these in the post itself.

Summary:

• Jack went to the cinema with her girlfriend - this is from October 2017 so she was dating LJC at the time
• She checked her blog and saw she was getting death threats and being called the N-word in comments on a recipe for mashed potato. Seemingly she had managed to offend that most niche yet dangerous of groups: blind racists
• She then decided to ditch her smartphone and buy a cute yellow Nokia (non-smart. Stupid phone?) that reminded her of the one on which she wrote her first book
• From then on she started using the Nokia, her smartphone relegated to a modem for her laptop or to check Twitter whilst on the loo. I know she's full of tit, but surely not that much that she was on the loo every time
• Subsequently she started sleeping better, her personal relationships improved, and she began writing more and becoming creative. Also her alcoholism was miraculously cured and she started taking a pot of camomile tea to bed instead of whiskey. Why you would do that when the tea will go cold, the caffeine will keep you awake, and the fluid will make you pee all night is beyond me
• She felt "awake, alive, heel-kicking umbrella-swinging Broadway-musical good"
• She laments that she felt suicidal - yes, THAT again - after receiving online abuse, and compares giving up her smartphone to ending an abusive relationship. Complains about internet service providers and the Government not doing enough to regulate online content
• And shares a photo that was taken with the smartphone

Why doesn't she come out with stuff like this any more? At least it'd give us a laugh

 

[usefullyuseless]

Ahhh love that new thread smell

- She still hasn't moved

- It's Tuesday but we haven't been graced with a chaos (yet)

- Jack gave two talks over the weekend. Thankfully the tents were mostly empty

- Alleged socks have been socking

- Where's the money? What was in space squig's box and what happened in Dordrecht?!

THE END

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Guest gives me bullshit headaches except when I get a cluster headache.



Or

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I would like to retrospectively apologise for November 2020 TS putting one of Brenda's bangers in Jack's filthy paw, it is on reflection quite revolting. Perhaps you will enjoy the other sausage I photoshopped around the same time?

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Throwback to one of guest's less well remembered blog posts just because it's funny: I gave up my smartphone for a Nokia 3310 and radically changed my life. Warning for mentions of rape and the uncensored N-word and R-word, Jack doesn't warn for these in the post itself.

Summary:

• Jack went to the cinema with her girlfriend - this is from October 2017 so she was dating LJC at the time
• She checked her blog and saw she was getting death threats and being called the N-word in comments on a recipe for mashed potato. Seemingly she had managed to offend that most niche yet dangerous of groups: blind racists
• She then decided to ditch her smartphone and buy a cute yellow Nokia (non-smart. Stupid phone?) that reminded her of the one on which she wrote her first book
• From then on she started using the Nokia, her smartphone relegated to a modem for her laptop or to check Twitter whilst on the loo. I know she's full of tit, but surely not that much that she was on the loo every time
• Subsequently she started sleeping better, her personal relationships improved, and she began writing more and becoming creative. Also her alcoholism was miraculously cured and she started taking a pot of camomile tea to bed instead of whiskey. Why you would do that when the tea will go cold, the caffeine will keep you awake, and the fluid will make you pee all night is beyond me
• She felt "awake, alive, heel-kicking umbrella-swinging Broadway-musical good"
• She laments that she felt suicidal - yes, THAT again - after receiving online abuse, and compares giving up her smartphone to ending an abusive relationship. Complains about internet service providers and the Government not doing enough to regulate online content
• And shares a photo that was taken with the smartphone

Why doesn't she come out with stuff like this any more? At least it'd give us a laugh

The bollocks she claimed whilst she was with LJC make me wonder if she had sight of, or discussed potential documentaries LJC was looking at doing.

 

[bizwizz89]

Well done @bizwizz89 for your words, and for @Ms Biscuit for the nomination, you win an empty chair from the empty halls of a Jack Monroe gig.

She did her talks, no one cared, still no sign of the money, all seems quiet on the honking front.

Newbies-please have a goosey-gander at the Wiki above (pink button, y'all)

Wow this is really amazing IRREGARDLESS of the trolls. I might get my friends round to watch me cook a lentil truffle and be adorable. I’d like to thank D&E, Content, LJC and my mortgage advisor. As you were.

 

[nothanksbabes]

Throwback to one of guest's less well remembered blog posts just because it's funny: I gave up my smartphone for a Nokia 3310 and radically changed my life. Warning for mentions of rape and the uncensored N-word and R-word, Jack doesn't warn for these in the post itself.

Summary:

• Jack went to the cinema with her girlfriend - this is from October 2017 so she was dating LJC at the time
• She checked her blog and saw she was getting death threats and being called the N-word in comments on a recipe for mashed potato. Seemingly she had managed to offend that most niche yet dangerous of groups: blind racists
• She then decided to ditch her smartphone and buy a cute yellow Nokia (non-smart. Stupid phone?) that reminded her of the one on which she wrote her first book
• From then on she started using the Nokia, her smartphone relegated to a modem for her laptop or to check Twitter whilst on the loo. I know she's full of tit, but surely not that much that she was on the loo every time
• Subsequently she started sleeping better, her personal relationships improved, and she began writing more and becoming creative. Also her alcoholism was miraculously cured and she started taking a pot of camomile tea to bed instead of whiskey. Why you would do that when the tea will go cold, the caffeine will keep you awake, and the fluid will make you pee all night is beyond me
• She felt "awake, alive, heel-kicking umbrella-swinging Broadway-musical good"
• She laments that she felt suicidal - yes, THAT again - after receiving online abuse, and compares giving up her smartphone to ending an abusive relationship. Complains about internet service providers and the Government not doing enough to regulate online content
• And shares a photo that was taken with the smartphone

Why doesn't she come out with stuff like this any more? At least it'd give us a laugh

Christ, she's a tedious writer isn't she? I lost interest at her saying she teaches people to cook, which is almost as plausible as her parting with her smart phone.

She must have consistently tweeted 57 times a day via the power of telepathy, then.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Let’s all take a minute to think about the pain and injustice Jack decided she experienced when she was called the N word, despite having no known African-Caribbean heritage. Truly humbling.

 

[Mr Krabs]

Let’s all take a minute to think about the pain and injustice Jack decided she experienced when she was called the N word, despite having no known African-Caribbean heritage. Truly humbling.

But what about the hammock pics?

 

[HotesTilaire]

But what about the hammock pics?

View attachment 2191913

I know, right? And that time, nobody called her the N word, they just accused her of black fishing.

 

[HoopLaa]

I would like to retrospectively apologise for November 2020 TS putting one of Brenda's bangers in Jack's filthy paw, it is on reflection quite revolting. Perhaps you will enjoy the other sausage I photoshopped around the same time?

View attachment 2191824

Just saw the top of this pic as I scrolled down and I swear I thought it was an old pic of Pete Doherty

 

[StatusWoe]

all seems quiet on the honking front.

All Quiet on the Honking Front

Perhaps you will enjoy the other sausage I photoshopped around the same time?

View attachment 2191824

 

[NellieBoo]

I know, right? And that time, nobody called her the N word, they just accused her of black fishing.

PLAITS NOT BRAIDS. I miss Insta Jack .

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I put "Jack the Scam" into Google cos it's the name of a racehorse... And this oldie but goodie came up.

I forgot all about this. She really is the unluckiest person.....

Jack Monroe loses £5,000 after 'phone number is hijacked'

Writer says she is ‘in a literal nightmare’ after loss of funds

www.independent.co.uk

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

I put "Jack the Scam" into Google cos it's the name of a racehorse... And this oldie but goodie came up.

I forgot all about this. She really is the unluckiest person.....

Jack Monroe loses £5,000 after 'phone number is hijacked'

Writer says she is ‘in a literal nightmare’ after loss of funds

www.independent.co.uk

Funny how she doesn't have PTSD about this and not have any paypal/ bank adjacent thingys online

 

[HotesTilaire]

moving in with Leggy -Jack loses £5k deposit she had put on a flat
Wetherspoons tray/purse theft incident - has to pay a £2k deposit tomorrow
Oct 19 - ”simjacked” on her bank and paypal, 6 months earnings aka £5k taken

it always happens to Jack.So bloody, ruddy unlucky.

 

[bizwizz89]

Just way to big up the late night (or Canadian) Frau x

 

[camotea]

Nil Tuesday chaos? The leash must be this long. I wonder who is pulling the strings? Has to be Adrian? Or some semblance of self-awareness to stay under the radar ahead of this weekend’s festie appearance?