Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

[discolisa]

Not sure where this will fall as I just cannot keep up, but did we see this? Guardian letters from January. Go Carol.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Popped into town today, 1st time since Christmas and tenderstems, I made a beeline for Waterstones.
There it was, the same, singular, solitary copy that my sister has been keeping her eye on. It's apparently sat there since it shit the shelves. Surrounded by delicious, creative tomes full of enticement and promise, like a pair of Adidas 4 stripes, it just looked wrong.

Unfortunately, I was spotted doing this
But to my surprise, everyone in the store turned around and slowly started clapping. It got louder and louder, until I was gently scooped up, tenderly held aloft onto the shoulders of the other customers until the manager came over, quietly wiping a tear away and whispered, "thankyou thankyou thankyou"

 

[Phillipa78]

Comté is just gruyère made in a specific location (PDO). It looks a lot like manchego.
Sorry lads, I think I've just outed myself as a fromage Frau

 

[lilykestrel]

first (maybe)

recap: Jack came back and was 90% zen. to prove she is Very Well and Happy, she showed the hellsite two slopcoctions consisting of fennel, egg and crab (citation needed) paste.

That Man's got a new show of budget cooking airing tonight. But as we all know:

Before St Jack released her book, skint people just? I dunno, didn't eat, or something.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Asda sells tomatoes so that means tomatoes aren't fancy? WTF?

Squig was joking due to recently publicised tomato shortage. Jack too thick to get joke.

 

[Muttley]

Imagine getting a CCJ over a fucking tenner.

While Rome burns .....

 

[Geetbo]

Imagine getting a CCJ over a fucking tenner.

 

[Pocahontas]

Thanks to @Griftymcgriftface for the thread title - words by Jack herself: ‘The ~plans~ are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking … plus ca change ’
Typing those tildes pained me considerably.

Grifty, you win an air fryer. Jack doesn’t, as she’s already given away two for being ‘specialist equipment’. Never let it be said she doesn’t have her finger on the pulse.

Ok so she came back last night all namaste but it fairly quickly became a ‘go well’ situation. Has she moved? Apparently not, but she’s trash talking both future and present landlords.

Please add to the recap or correct any inaccuracies!

 

[Muttley]

 

[SharkAttack]

Frauen, I have been out with a gang of pals. I have drunk central London dry. But one thing that sobered me up was the sight of this in the pub we had supper in. Spoiler: we did not order it.

 

[AlwightDallin]

Ok WTF.

Firstly if you don’t have any candles because you’ve used all your candles why not repurpose a used candle rather than a tin can because that’s literally their purpose.

But you don’t need a candle because there’s LITERALLY A CANDLE BEHIND THE DANGER TINS. Use that you plum.

If you put them on the worktop or bath, congratulations! You will have a burned and melted surface. You might even burn down the bungamansion, luckily with your years of service as a firefighter you can battle the blaze with a repurposed squirty cream can and a copy of London’s Burning on VHS.

If you hang them by string from trees, good news! You no longer need to pay a gardener because your garden will have had a lovely ash treatment so the next tenant can plant roses. Also your shed will be gone. Hope you’re not hoarding another SMEG in it!

Also (and ignoring the Philips head screwdriver you’ve ruined, and the great risk to your flappy smoker hands), HOW MUCH TIME DO YOU HAVE TO WASTE DOING THIS don’t you have a son? A home? A dog? Eleven meetings a day? Eighty hour work weeks? Sponsorship to do? The food bank? Blogging? You’re making crap from cans, though I suppose this is a step up from every single recipe in TCC soooooooo

 

[Toxteth O'Grady]

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[Lostcat]

I engraved “feck”, “arse”, “drink” onto some wooden hearts and hung them in my hallway as a protest against live, laugh, love. Some of the school people thought I was a bit unhinged.

Jackie would not get the reference.

My sister-in-law had carved wooden individual blocks on her bathroom shelf that said "LIVE LOVE"

It took her a full week to realise that after my visit it mysteriously said "EVIL VOLE" instead.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She's actually filling them with wax? Jesus. I just thought she was putting tealights in them.
Big D will have a fit when he reads those tweets.

I think it’s ok as long as you don’t put the candle tins in the microwave.

Spoiler: WARNED.

@Flivver Jack pretending that her electric kettle was a hob kettle. While rubbing her flue on the counter again, pretending to be sober after a week and forgetting to move the base for the electric kettle before the Guardian snapped the pic.

Dipshit.

 

[lilykestrel]

I was just having a peruse of the unacknowledged replies to the tin can canterns and bloody hell

No wonder she's still churning this shit out when it's just wall to wall simpery in the (controlled) replies. Where do these people draw the line? She says she spent the day hanging her arse out the window shitting onto the pavement below, do they all applaud "well done! saving water!" "fertilises the plants!" "I'll give that a go!!!!"

I'm just so confused

 

[lilykestrel]

 

[holliebollie]

Has my mother been using Jackie’s Yorkshire pudding recipe?? DIRE.

 

[That Forensic Man]

While Rome burns .....


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Just why when there's a spenny yankee candle right behind them

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[BurgerLaBill]

Beanz Meanz Firez.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Lads, relax it's fine. Jack spent literal months answering phones for the fire service. Skirt or no skirt, she's got experience dammit.
She's [nam eyes] heard things, okay?