Jack Monroe #483 The plans are going well, it’s the execution that seems to be lacking

[Vanelope]

Comté is just gruyère made in a specific location (PDO). It looks a lot like manchego.
Sorry lads, I think I've just outed myself as a fromage Frau

FROMAGE FRAU

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I mean you'd think she'd know better...
View attachment 2010694

Oooh, what a massive cunté.

 

[Morning Mimosa]

Posted without comment. (But possibly some sniggering)

 

[MancBee]

She'd have been better off in a skirt, though they are only for those of us who can keep our legs SHUT.

A skirt? A SKIRT?

Who are you, Old Chief?

 

[ChickenPorridge]

It's weird that her living arrangements were low grade enough to affect her respiratory system - to the point of deteriorating her lungs/nose/vocal chords forever - but none of her designer clothing, fancy bags, shoes or any of the other several metric tonnes of *stuff* in her gaff has ever been affected by damp, mould or any of the other issues that would arise by living in such conditions. Really, truly makes ya think.

 

[Lifeislemons]

It has utterly finished me off that there is a huge candle behind

 

[Hold my beans]

Spotted in the Range earlier...

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Oops! Someone’s posted the other CCJs.

ETA different squig. She’s toast on Twitter

 

[Geetbo]

I always assume her stack includes the random stuff you get that’s “to the householder” generally, so while she may have a massive stack, a good 60% of it is probably stuff like notification of traffic diversions that happened years ago, adverts for sky and various broadband companies and copies of the watchtower.

Just imagining Jack screaming and running for cover every time the Farmfoods leaflet hits the doormat.

 

[stunrw]

You think thats bad, I once called a colleague a ponce (replace p with n!) when what I actually meant to call him was a numpty

At the risk of doing a Jack and elevenerifing that……I managed to call my (German) boss a nazi in a email because the changed “nos”

So instead of the email reading: These nos (numbers) will kill us, it changed it to These nazis will kill us

 

[Humblepumble]

A co-parent when it suits; a single mother when it doesn't

 

[Yer_wha?!]

I'm stunned she's let this response go by!

 

[DinosaurSenior]

How I hate this phrase:

"It is with a heavy heart". It's so ridiculously over used for trivial situations. My corner shop uses it on their Facebook page when they've run out of bacon rolls

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Nicely blackened soot stained tin can candle holder anyone? Lovely gift for mums day. Just punch a few holes in an old tin can, drop in a tealight and your good to go

Jack, a plaited, double knotted wick in a freshly washed milk bottle topped up with petrol also makes for a good alternative if you can't scrape any more wax from a spent Jo Malone that your ex might have left

#sweetiettoptips

 

[DinosaurSenior]

"Enough I say". Waaaay too early, but, I think Carol speaks for most of us

PS paging @jenny2603 Jenny num nums, we need you x

 

[Jelly Bean]

Surprised Jack hasn't come out in support of her great chum Gary Lineker. You know the one she had in her book acknowledgements.

 

[jenny2603]

Christ almighty, her Home wall art is bougie as fuck.

Sorry, I realise all that stuff is really popular but why do you need stupid bits of obviousluy fake scrap wood with home written on them to tell you where you are? It reminds me of what I was house hunting and someone had stencilled the word "Bath" above the bath. I suppose it would stop confused farmers leading a flock of sheep in for a drink but it upsets me.

 

[Lazarus]

I’ve had a quick scan through this thread. I have been SO BUSY doing my actual day job. I seriously think my boss is trying to KILL ME.
Anyway, a few things:
Many years ago, I was quality reviewing a colleagues work (DHSS at the time). In the computer records, it was commonplace to abbreviate customer as ‘cust’. I identified a case where a colleague had written something along the lines of: telephone call requesting early payment. cunt has struggled to manage their money recently - giro issued. 🫣

and then on topic: imagine if you were happy to pay the £44 a month tariff so that Jack could make candles out of tin cans during the day when you were working your bollocks off? And worse still, when she has a Yankee Candle right fucking there.

and finally: I’m laughing that it’s nearly Easter and Jack’s still in the bungamansion, when before Christmas she had arranged a grocery delivery to the new house and she’s STILL not there.
There’s no way it’s rented. No landlord would keep a house empty for 3 months.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Yet she is desperate to buy where damp and mouls costs will be on her to sort. My SIL has a beautiful victorian that has mould due to problems with the structure. She has to pay ££££ to fix it. She wishes her food looked that good.

This is the thing mold and damp is a problem in a lot of British homes just cos of ventilation, but there’s a HUGE difference between that and some of the black mold issues in social housing or private rentals that are causing very real health issues for tiny toddlers and adults. It’s so vile to leave it open to interpretation, like I get a bit of mold on my window seals if I don’t air the house out in winter and dry all our clothes inside versus a mum whose toddler died from black mold inhalation are two very different ends of the spectrum.

She’s vile and I’m so glad she’s been cursed with that awful nose and voice and migrated filler mess of a face because it reflects her soul. What a disgusting liar.

 

[Stormageddon]

I was at a museum the other day and found evidence of Victorian Jack (#1847 truther)