It is a FOOLPROOF BRIOCHE DOUGH BALL WREATH
That she still hasn’t posted the recipe for
Jack Monroe #414 Catch Me If You (Tin) Can
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That she still hasn’t posted the recipe for
It’s even stupider when you consider that in the same article where she claims she bought designer clobber as trauma-induced, post-poverty investments, she strongly implies that the reason she’s still struggling financially is because she’s still paying down debt she unavoidably ran up during The Poverty. OK Jack, you could’ve put several hundred quid towards paying off outstanding bills, but you bought a Viv Westwood dress instead? And we’re meant to fill your tip jar? Come on now.
LJC. If she was chocolate she’d eat herself.
She’s just dyyyying for someone to be like oh nooo Jack uR sO sKinNy.
I need a slap round the chops, she looks half decent there.For the newbie ninnies, you may or may not have seen this...I'm still having a dig around to 🔺️ some of her stuff for the epic list c/o @That Forensic Man
Enjoy and I'll be back in a bit xxx hopefully with some goodies x
I doubted myself for a minute, but I'm 99% sure this is the right bed.
This is no longer sold by Next, but the wayback machine still shows some details.
Jack admits she brought the bed from Next.
I believe the material colour is french grey, but I can't find a stock photo for it.
(Different material but correct bed size)
Prices from the wayback machine
Jack admits she brought the bed from Next.
I believe the material colour is french grey, but I can't find a stock photo for it.
(Different material but correct bed size)
Prices from the wayback machine
She was. She said she was paying herself minimum wage, but also that she was working 80 hour weeks.
Could a kind ninny direct me to the thread where I can find this fabled black eye photo, please?
Edit: never mind, I found it - it's here if anyone else wants to see:
Edit: never mind, I found it - it's here if anyone else wants to see:
Jack Monroe #66 A potato is a potato
I wonder if she did actually get back to the guy who kindly offered to write her a business plan? She was going to " stew on that over the weekend". But.... another week, another blank slate on planet Jack
tattle.life
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It wouldn't surprise me if someone with her spending habits has a drawer full of maxed out credit and store cards.
Dear Heart @That Forensic Man could I ask you to please check your figs in your latest list as I think there may be some double-counting on fillers and Raybans? Not to make life hard for myself but I decided to update your lovely list in the wiki (2), and I don't want @colouredlines coming along and deleting the work in due course!
The easiest thing to do would be to put it into a spreadsheet with a column for the cost and one for the item [filter and sort] and then we don't duplicate. Now I feel like a right twattage for saying that, as I'm hopeless at excel but I want an accurate wiki.
@witchofwestbyfleet not to
you but I sense a fellow comms / PR person in the mix...fabulous updates - go well!
The easiest thing to do would be to put it into a spreadsheet with a column for the cost and one for the item [filter and sort] and then we don't duplicate
. Now I feel like a right twattage for saying that, as I'm hopeless at excel but I want an accurate wiki.@witchofwestbyfleet not to
you but I sense a fellow comms / PR person in the mix...fabulous updates - go well!
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There was that wolf duvet set. They cost £20 down the market. It pays for itself in amusement value though.Update as we've done quite a bit today.
What's this blue thing on top of the little oven?
I've seen about 10 different toasters, kettles and microwaves across the ages, "creator of the upcoming vimes boots index" indeed
£428 fancy knobs
£250 magnetic Allegra spice jars
£95 Abigail Aherne grey hare table lamp
£72 antique bird of paradise porcelain door knobs and finger plates (bedroom door)
£432 if she's done the other say 6 internal doors as well
£25 wooden calculator (unused)
£35 two-headed Skellington dog plastic Halloween decoration
£339 All Saints belfern suede biker jacket
£155 Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief curtains (median price £65-245)
£1,550 2x Tiffany pearl hoop earrings sterling silver (two pairs)
£150 DM boots (other ones, not the willow ones mentioned upthread)
£104 rusty eBay spoons
£110 2x Oliver Bonas jumpers
£80 Emma Bridgewater toaster with TOASTER on it
£780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
£110 Crosley cruiser suitcase turntable ('SB's' bedroom)
£800 77 Lipsticks
£200 14 Foundations
£250 40 Eyeliners
£500 misc makeup
£320 2x Roberts Revival Mini radio
£158 orange nike trainers (asda trip)
£1,200 8x kendal dining chairs
£425 Graham and Green birdcage lampshade
£65 test tube vases
£35 boiler suit (which was dyed pink)
£10 squid game guard mask from the market
£44 per roll wallpaper used as ADHD friendly “to-do” list
£300 kitchen aid
£20 black pleather Primark boots with chain
£499 Dyson fan
£65 SimpleHuman hand soap dispenser (kitchen)
£60 squatty potty
£535 custom captain's chair
£110 Two pairs of granny curtain boiler suits
£400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
£229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
£799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
£849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
£399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
£2,396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
£1,529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
£299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
£800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
£499 Cotswold Company chester wine console
£599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
£699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
£800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak shoe storage bench
£730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
£300 suit she wore for the Diva photoshoot
£300 dyson hairdryer
£1199 water rower
£400 John Lewis hammock
£400 John Lewis egg chair
£400 20x John Lewis clear plastic storage bins
£290 Baywood 33 drawer tea chest
£30 John Lewis Perspex cube pasta storage with pink lids
£20 full set of oversized unicorns/animal mugs from Asda
£300 sentient mirror
£360 2x nike trainers (exc. orange ones)
£120 24" TV for SB's PlayStation
£2,500 Smeg fridge (double American style)
£300 2x Viv westwood dress (assume sale)
£75 Sweaty Betty leggings
£200 R&P bras (x 2 minimum)
£199 Airpods
£249 Airpods pro
£199 Apple Watch (assume series 3)
£250 Sleeper to Edinburgh last min on a Friday
£309 3 nights at Eden Locke, Edinburgh
£170 Last minute train home on a Monday morning
£700 Vets bills
£20 Sad Asda shop
£80 2x summit camping stove (shed)
£400 ooni pizza oven (freebie)
£60 3x “tiles” for locating lost keys/phones by internet magic
£12 2x dylon machine dye
~£1,000 unread books (estimate)
£100 CUDDLY TOY (Hamleys)
£640 6x DAB radios
£60 Lego flower bouquet
£60 Rock tumbler
£2,200 content
£15 6x ring binders (for coroner's reports)
£1,790 Burberry classic trench coat
£5,000 Burberry brit jacket ($5-6k)
£350 Warm & wonderful diana sheep jumper
£60 Boy london snap back black/gold hat ($60)
£1,000 Unidentified Cotswold(?) cupboard/wardrobe
£10 horrendous steam punk clock leggings (worn once)
£525 35x moleskin notebooks
£119 Hatteras pigskin leather cap dark brown (wax suede stetson hat)
£56 7x Wilko snake charmer kitchen baskets
£479 Nespresso creatista plus coffee machine (doesn't drink coffee)
£199 Bodyclock luxe 700FM alarm clock
£66 Tatty Devine Fishbone necklace
£485 Tiffany 1837 Makers I.D. Tag Pendant in Sterling Silver, 24" (worn at arcade fire gig)
£249 Peak Design rucksack (asda romp)
£245 'Edinburgh book festival' Russell & Bromley chester tassel loafer (dubious provenance)
£245 'Downing Street' leopard monstrosities with block heels
£245 assumed third pair of 'spenny loafers'
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£140 4x Ikea hejne 'cheapo shoe racks' for seasonal crockery
£72 9x Ikea knagglig wooden box
£324 2x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Dinnerware Set, White, 12 Piece (4x Dinner Plates, 4x Salad Plates, 4x Cereal Bowls)
£92 4x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Mugs, White, Box of 2
£19 Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Cream Jug, White
£136 8x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Pasta Bowl, Dia.23.5cm, White
~£200 more random Sophie Conran for Portmeirion tit (see instagram)
£294 'I can't forget' screenprint navy/raspberry
~£2,000 438x baubles
£2,000 cooker
£80 Nokia 3310
£1050 3x chest freezers
£70 Dunelm Retro 20L 800W Pink Digital Microwave
£28 John Lewis llama doorstop
£40 Vintage ferguson radio casette recorder
£18 H&M peacock gold candlestick
49 Ted Baker pyjamas
£100 10x H&M gold candlesticks
£116 Instagram look
~£420 3x VegTrugs (unknown quantity)
~£900 botox (estimate, £300/3 areas x 3 treatments)
~£1,056 haircuts at Toni & Guy, Woo Hair etc. (estimate, £66 x 4 per year x 4 years)
~£3,000 2x tattoo sleeves (estimate, £1,500 per sleeve)
£150 wire racking (kept outside)
£30 flamingo neon light
£60 mary poppins parrot umbrella
£384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
£144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
£60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
£80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit
£1,350 Hopkins SPITE SOFA (designers guild florence 2 seater)
£300 3x wigs
£543 32x copies of cooking on a bootstrap (kickstarter version) just sat there
£250 all saints leather jacket
~£400 bike (estimate)
~£400 bike given to someone who's was stolen (estimate)
£360 cafe 3x weekly for 6 months (£5 x 3pw x 6mo)
£150 puppy grooming package (£25 x 1pm x 6mo)
£45 Bialetti moka color blue 6 cup
£45 Bialetti moka express silver 6 cup
£100 magnum boots
£130 Finn watch
£150 Garmin watch
£120 Dr Martens willow edition boots
£120 Dr Martens red boots
£60 12x derwent colorsoft pencils
£600 omega seamaster watch (replica?)
£85 leather converse
£135 Global Classic knife
£300 Blok knife (Observer Food Award)
£300 Mcusta Zanmai supreme ripple knife
£75 magnolia tree
£750 Christian Louboutin Audrey Strappy Glitter Sandal (fake?)
£12 'limited edition' vest
£3 Asda Cream Gratitude Slogan Sweatshirt (kids)
~£2,000 400 cookbooks as of 2016 (estimate, 400 x £5 average each)
“£5” denim cargo trousers from Primark
£100 countertop oven
£300 2x more ray ban sunglasses
£1,700 smeg fridge (small, broken?)
£70 nutribullet 600
£295 Pandora bracelet with at least 7 charms (£55 bracelet + 8x £30)
~£2,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 4 years - since at least 2018)Total:£549 55" TV
£60 cath kidston rucksack
£1,200 iMac desktop
£1,000 macbook pro
£1,000 other laptop
£79 apple mouse
£70 folding table
£895 Jimmy Choo ren sandals blue 2016
£150 Penhaligons fragrance
£795 mulberry elkington oak bag
£14 replacement oliver bonas strap
£4.99 jolly warehouse skirt
£1,500 3x phones
£249 1x tablet
£100 2x microphones
£100 3x sets of headphones
£60 3x backup batteries
£140 4x studio lights (ESDDI)
£45 3x extension leads
£150 5x hastily installed curtains
£30 1x pivot stand
£4 1x actual tin can (eBay)
£539 1x canon 700D as backup
(taking no chances -priceless£2,917)
£200 Sarah Akwisombe’s Money & Manifesting course£72,889£81,823
The new pair of boots she bought after wearing the taped together pair for a while on TV (despite having other pairs ...?)
Artificial snow
plastic flower headdress phase
Le Creuset
furniture and set dressing for the shed outside that she was going to turn into a studio
lawnmower
tents
Ten (at least) outdoor chairs for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things
The hen with the rubber eggs for nesting hens?
dusty plastics string of pearls plant
laptops for 'team of staff'
squishy sofa
velvet sofabed
baskets, baskets everywhere
leather armchairs
calvin klein sportswear
nike pro sportswear
drinking glasses (content approved)
red teardrop drop hoop earrings
leather jackets
teeth whitening (maybe filter)
fake tan
'shoe obsession'
fancy crockery (shitloads)
high quality crystal clear food storage containers (shitloads)
food storage (shitloads, kilner jars etc.)
double monk shoes black
viv clobber
THAT BLOODY LAMP
watch with flowery strap
watch with chunky silver strap
guitar
Sarah Akwisombe evil eye necklace
foodism awards red suit -
bedroom of lies -
dog cushions -
Anything spenny is fair game, but I'll add whatever fraus want.
My own benchmark is discretionary or 'non-essential' spend in the context of someone who claims to not be able to afford shower gel or 6p for butter instead of lard etc.
Jack moves things around constantly so try to avoid double counting.
Instagram is a literal and figurative gold mine (see TBC spoiler).
If I like your stocktake post it means I've seen it and will include in the next update.
Have fun.
Now duck off x
The saga starts here:
Jack Monroe #66 A potato is a potato
Yes, let us not forget the tweeted (?) picture of her hiding That Man’s books on a shop shelf. I remember this being posted back through the mists of time!
tattle.life
But this is the iconic photo:
Starts in thread 66 roughly here: https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-66-a-potato-is-a-potato.9048/post-2265599
Honorable mention to thread 67 titled "Eye Can't Believe it's not Glitter"
(And look at us now, more than 300 threads later)
Quite. Bought my two spy pens one year every surface in the house probably has a badly drawn cock on it, visible only under uv light. It would be quite difficult to explain if a crime occurred hereI have boys (now grown up). There was only one thing they ever drew
On top of the mailed bills/statements stamped with OVERDUE in big red letters.
The “thirst trap” pic: the worst part for me is the panel under her armpit which is a different colour to the rest of the top. Always makes me think is a really sweaty pit 
Speaking of black eye Jack, it's a real classic of the genre. She obviously did actually hurt her eye, it's swollen. But that is 100% no argument highligher all over it plus squinting to make it look worse.
I think all her stories have a kernel of truth in them. I've always wondered what the sex work one was sprouted by? Did she sell feet pics on only fans or something? (Or to that mortgage advisor). Another Frau pointed out earlier that this was around the time she started up her brief and doomed to failure craftwork business so my personal headcanon is she had a one night stand with someone who later donated her some merino wool to knit a scarf to sell or something. These gritty streets.
I think all her stories have a kernel of truth in them. I've always wondered what the sex work one was sprouted by? Did she sell feet pics on only fans or something? (Or to that mortgage advisor). Another Frau pointed out earlier that this was around the time she started up her brief and doomed to failure craftwork business so my personal headcanon is she had a one night stand with someone who later donated her some merino wool to knit a scarf to sell or something. These gritty streets.
I Googled ‘Jack Monroe black eye’ because no one was talking about it on Twitter and i thought I was going insane, and it brought me to Frauland….
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