Jack Monroe #414 Catch Me If You (Tin) Can

[sioc]

I Googled ‘Jack Monroe black eye’ because no one was talking about it on Twitter and i thought I was going insane, and it brought me to Frauland….

Hahaha, I came here because of the exact same photo except what I googled was "Jack Monroe annoying"

 

[jenny2603]

Molly just posted this screenshot.

 

[Switchstreetz]

And she's something JM will never be; naturally funny & interesting. Monroe has mentioned before that some people told her she should do stand-up comedy. No, she really shouldn't.

Are you joking, all I want for Xmas is a canal watchalong of JM doing stand up on live TV, it would be funnier than any comedian!

Imagine the squigs who don't know who jack is, tweeting at the BBC "never book the nasal one again, they were dire"

 

[frostily]

Molly just posted this screenshot.

View attachment 1646344

oooh she’s not going to like that….Hope no one expected a quiet night

 

[StringyMango]

twit above all Twats.
Ever.
That is all.

 

[jenny2603]

oooh she’s not going to like that….Hope no one expected a quiet night

We need a curfew for this stuff. Could be a late one.

 

[Orphan_Black]

We need a curfew for this stuff. Could be a late one.

She's already been brewing on THAT man stealing her radio slot yesterday and being better at it in a day over her ten years of campaigning.

She's gonna blow. (Especially since AM's screenshot identifies who she is, Jack will gun for her.)

 

[Captainmouse]

And she's something JM will never be; naturally funny & interesting. Monroe has mentioned before that some people told her she should do stand-up comedy. No, she really shouldn't.

She shouldn’t do sit down comedy either, she’s had a sense of humour bypass

 

[ContentCrunch]

Always us on the night shift.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Haha! Yes! I was very tempted to email the Graun asa disgruntled reader asking if they actually bother researching people before writing their puff piece. Very pleased about this!

Ha! Try it, if they bother to respond, you won’t like it.

 

[Bugger13]

And she's something JM will never be; naturally funny & interesting. Monroe has mentioned before that some people told her she should do stand-up comedy. No, she really shouldn't.

What the duck? This is a woman who thought a flapping fish toy was hilarious & has all the wit of wallpaper paste. The only way Jack could be funny is by walking on stage & starting her godawful poetry or singing then disappearing abruptly down a trapdoor that a rogue stagehand operates. And even that would only make me laugh properly if she was stuck down there for quite a while, pleading to be rescued in that widdecombe warble and someone slammed the lid.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Always us on the night shift.

We survived Burger Boy part 1, we can survive anything.

 

[WeHadFunRight]

I hate that photo so much it makes me irrational. Her weird hunched scrunched up middle, yeugh. And why is she on her goddamn sideboard? Wearing a weird droopy bra top?

For me, it has to be the fake black eye. Bizarre attention seeking behaviour from a woman in her 30s.
Shortly followed by this time -

Spoiler

"Somethings simmering..." The canal never did find out what. View attachment 1645893

Is no one going to mention the weird Rambo-inspired headband? Why? Just, why?

 

[Mr Krabs]

Are you joking, all I want for Xmas is a canal watchalong of JM doing stand up on live TV, it would be funnier than any comedian!

Imagine the squigs who don't know who jack is, tweeting at the BBC "never book the nasal one again, they were dire"

Hey Southend! What’s the deal with airplane food? If only I had airplane meals when I was in the poverty and starving and I had to sell my lightbulbs!

So, my mother in law said the funniest thing. Except she’s not my mother in law because Old Harold LEFT!

I bought a dog with no nose. How does he smell? He smells just fine thank you. He goes to the groomers every two weeks and is very well looked after. I can’t even tell a joke without the ebil canal trolling me.

Why aren’t you laughing? Doyouwantmetostopbreathing????

 

[sioc]

She's already been brewing on THAT man stealing her radio slot yesterday and being better at it in a day over her ten years of campaigning.

She's gonna blow. (Especially since AM's screenshot identifies who she is, Jack will gun for her.)

I think someone's softly gently unlogged her out of twitter. She was allowed a one hour window the other night for the tories but the normal wakeup 12 o clock post was on insta and she hasn't been back since. If so, it's a good idea, she's a menace on twitter frankly and if they could block her from viewing it as well as posting she'd be better off. I mean this sincerely, she had a long while off twitter after whatever the intense therapy/rehab/aparthotel thing was and naturally the threads here were slowing down as well.

Like that gofundme for trussel trust (where she had no access to the money, it all went to trussel trust) raised almost 90k. That's a genuinely good thing she achieved and can be proud of. If she focused on that stuff and just stopped being twitter character of the day for a couple of weeks she might salvage something out of her media career.

 

[Mme Coco]

They look like the knuckles of someone who regularly makes them self vomit - which if true is very sad.

Slightbut that looks like Russell’s Sign. There’s another photo on this thread showing her rings with another one. Between this, her penchant for slop and crumbly teeth I think Jack is telling the truth about a chronic ED. It’s very sad to think about what propping up her carefully crafted pretence is doing to her MH. But then again, I’ve never seen resistance and denial like it.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Well that part at least is easily refutable bullshit. All in her very own words too.

Spoiler: Spoiler for length

When she was with Leggy in 2015 she dropped between £6,500-£7,000 on two Burberry coats; a beige trench coat and a leather jacket. The leather jacket is a pretty well known piece and was around a lot at the time; Britney Spears had one too. It was a Burberry Brit and cost about £5k. The trench coats cost over £1,500, even back then. This is the average trench coat/mac price today.

View attachment 1645364The resale value of those trench coats is pretty consistent and there’s always demand for them. As for the leather jacket, even now, the resale value of her leather jacket WORN is over £1,500 and there is still demand for them. This is a high end legit designer resale website and is this year.

View attachment 1645340

All that to say, that’s quite the pair of investment pieces. Except she did not sell them when in 2017 she ‘came out as still skint’, had a massive rattle of the can, turning on her tip jar and starting her Patreon (this from the Wiki)
View attachment 1645384

At that point, the investment piece leather jacket had not even been worn. How do I know this? Because in Feb 2020 Jack told us a long (bullshit filled) self absorbed story about buying it and the trench coat back in 2015 and that the leather had never been worn. Credit to @PineappleQueen19 who originally found this.

View attachment 1645345View attachment 1645347View attachment 1645348View attachment 1645349View attachment 1645350View attachment 1645351View attachment 1645352View attachment 1645354
She in fact had a rattle rattle beg the month before this
View attachment 1645404She also had another MASSIVE rattle of the can very shortly after this article was written in Feb 2020, very early in the pandemic when all her work dried up. (Thanks to Jenny numbers for this one)View attachment 1645409
(except it didn’t- DKL, Hellman’s etc etc anyone?!). Anyway, point being this was all when she was still sitting on a couple of grand’s worth of ‘Burberry investment’ to sell in lean times.

It’s an assumption, but she may well even still be sitting on that ‘lean times Burberry investment’, including when she was boiling soap in July 2022. And going a little too far with the rattling and begging… Never kind Jack, you can always sell the investments!

I’m so behind but Burberry doesn’t have tills lol nor would you be able to pick a coat up off a rail and take it up to check out

 

[Cookiecookie]

I think I'm missing something here - no home means no cooker, and if you're cooking in the hostel in their kitchen to learn how then they can just lend you the cookbook that you need, right? How many copies of a cookbook will one hostel need? So is more than one place it's happening and I'm just confused? I can't imagine anyone, homeless or not, sitting down and just reading a cookbook and that alone teaches them to cook. Do ten copies mean ten people are going to sit and memorise the recipes for when they can finally cook in their own home, and then pass them on to the next ten? Or is it maybe that this cookbook is the greatest work of literature ever and so everyone is keen to read it so they'll need at least 500 copies to stop fights breaking out over slop recipes?

Sorry if what's actually happening here is obvious to everyone else, I just don't get it at all.

It's also implying that homeless people are stupid, when that's not the case. People become homeless for so many reasons, relationship breakdowns, job loss, MH issues, family kicking them out etc. In my husband's case it was addiction, which had spiralled due to a relationship breakdown. The man could most definitely cook though. There'd be no Yorkshire pudding or potato shaming directed at him, that's for sure!

 

[Switchstreetz]

I need a slap round the chops, she looks half decent there.

Username checks out, don't forget to swing by Maccy D's first if you're paying a visit!

Hey Southend! What’s the deal with airplane food? If only I had airplane meals when I was in the poverty and starving and I had to sell my lightbulbs!

So, my mother in law said the funniest thing. Except she’s not my mother in law because Old Harold LEFT!

I bought a dog with no nose. How does he smell? He smells just fine thank you. He goes to the groomers every two weeks and is very well looked after. I can’t even tell a joke without the ebil canal trolling me.

Why aren’t you laughing? Doyouwantmetostopbreathing????

"How many grifters does it take to unscrew a lightbulb"

"Doctor doctor! I feel like a pair of William Morris made-to-measure curtains"
"Yes you do look a bit drawn"

"Doctor doctor I feel like a prune"
"Bung yourself in a stew"

 

[jenny2603]

She's already been brewing on THAT man stealing her radio slot yesterday and being better at it in a day over her ten years of campaigning.

She's gonna blow. (Especially since AM's screenshot identifies who she is, Jack will gun for her.)

Molly already has Mihaela public on her profile so Jack will have been cyberstalking every Mihaela in the land for months now!