Yeah, never thought of that.
On second thoughts ... GO FOR IT, JACK!
Jack Monroe #414 Catch Me If You (Tin) Can
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On second thoughts ... GO FOR IT, JACK!It’s total bullshit. Even A List celebs don’t always get gifted designer clothes on the regular. They get loaned designer stuff to wear to events for the paps and sometimes have to give it back.
Jack regularly claims that her designer stuff has been gifted or found.
@That Forensic Man and other Stocktakers you are doing gods work.
Personally I think she has a compulsive spending problem that is addictive in nature. I know a narc irl that is like this. Compulsive spending binges on useless but overpriced things that they buy because they feel they deserve the best in life. No problem if they spend beyond their means! They’ll find a patsy to bail them out.
thats what Jack is like, imho. Also I think some of it might be
driven, as in she gets on it and gets stuck into Twitter and the designer websites. 24 hours later she resurfaces from her comedown and loads of stuff turns up that she barely recalls ordering. Then she realises she’s been tweeting loads of triggering stuff and rushes to bury it with facile tweets about 90s snacks….
I keep finding myself in accidental grunks from actual years ago coz of all the references to historical JM BS. What is most lolworthy, though, is that it takes me so long to realise coz her behaviour is so consistently awful 
.
Enjoy the likes, lols and loves from the past, OG fraus.
.Enjoy the likes, lols and loves from the past, OG fraus.
I don't know why Jack always seems to have such battered mitts, too much punching walls or decking her brother? This was her hand 5 years ago and that's not a cheap ring.
One time she did ask everyone to write to her telling her she was amazing c/o her agent to look at to make her feel good, because she had a folder full of letters telling her she was amazing but IT LEFT!
For me, it has to be the fake black eye. Bizarre attention seeking behaviour from a woman in her 30s.
Shortly followed by this time -
"Somethings simmering..." The canal never did find out what.
I've got the same charm as that purple one, I think it was £55 if I remember correctlySTOCKTAKE
It's been a while, or it feels like it. Last update was 2nd October, 10 days ago.
£428 fancy knobs
£250 magnetic Allegra spice jars
£95 Abigail Aherne grey hare table lamp
£72 antique bird of paradise porcelain door knobs and finger plates (bedroom door)
£432 if she's done the other say 6 internal doors as well
£25 wooden calculator (unused)
£35 two-headed Skellington dog plastic Halloween decoration
£339 All Saints belfern suede biker jacket
£155 Morris & Co. Strawberry Thief curtains (median price £65-245)
£1,550 2x Tiffany pearl hoop earrings sterling silver (two pairs)
£150 DM boots (other ones, not the willow ones mentioned upthread)
£104 rusty eBay spoons
£110 2x Oliver Bonas jumpers
£80 Emma Bridgewater toaster with TOASTER on it
£780 At least two Burberry scarves: one for her and one for LJC
£110 Crosley cruiser suitcase turntable ('SB's' bedroom)
£800 77 Lipsticks
£200 14 Foundations
£250 40 Eyeliners
£500 misc makeup
£320 2x Roberts Revival Mini radio
£158 orange nike trainers (asda trip)
£1,200 8x kendal dining chairs
£425 Graham and Green birdcage lampshade
£65 test tube vases
£35 boiler suit (which was dyed pink)
£10 squid game guard mask from the market
£44 per roll wallpaper used as ADHD friendly “to-do” list
£300 kitchen aid
£20 black pleather Primark boots with chain
£499 Dyson fan
£65 SimpleHuman hand soap dispenser (kitchen)
£60 squatty potty
£535 custom captain's chair
£110 Two pairs of granny curtain boiler suits
£400 Cotswold Company small sideboard (living room, blue)
£229 Cotswold Company tallboy (bedroom, ivory)
£799 Cotswold Company chester dove grey writing bureau (similar)
£849 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak dining table
£399 Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak storage bench
£2,396 2x Cotswold Company chester dresser
£1,529 Cotswold Company chester grand dresser
£299 Cotswold Company bookcase (porch, used for manky wooden photography boards)
£800 2x Cotswold Company small sideboards
£499 Cotswold Company chester wine console
£599 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard
£699 Cotswold Company chester large sideboard (wine rack version)
£800 2x Cotswold Company oakland rustic oak shoe storage bench
£730 Cotswold Company chester dove grey extra large dresser top
£300 suit she wore for the Diva photoshoot
£300 dyson hairdryer
£1199 water rower
£400 John Lewis hammock
£400 John Lewis egg chair
£400 20x John Lewis clear plastic storage bins
£290 Baywood 33 drawer tea chest
£30 John Lewis Perspex cube pasta storage with pink lids
£20 full set of oversized unicorns/animal mugs from Asda
£300 sentient mirror
£360 2x nike trainers (exc. orange ones)
£120 24" TV for SB's PlayStation
£2,500 Smeg fridge (double American style)
£300 2x Viv westwood dress (assume sale)
£75 Sweaty Betty leggings
£200 R&P bras (x 2 minimum)
£199 Airpods
£249 Airpods pro
£199 Apple Watch (assume series 3)
£250 Sleeper to Edinburgh last min on a Friday
£309 3 nights at Eden Locke, Edinburgh
£170 Last minute train home on a Monday morning
£700 Vets bills
£20 Sad Asda shop
£80 2x summit camping stove (shed)
£400 ooni pizza oven (freebie)
£60 3x “tiles” for locating lost keys/phones by internet magic
£12 2x dylon machine dye
~£1,000 unread books (estimate)
£100 CUDDLY TOY (Hamleys)
£640 6x DAB radios
£60 Lego flower bouquet
£60 Rock tumbler
£2,200 content
£15 6x ring binders (for coroner's reports)
£1,790 Burberry classic trench coat
£5,000 Burberry brit jacket ($5-6k)
£350 Warm & wonderful diana sheep jumper
£60 Boy london snap back black/gold hat ($60)
£1,000 Unidentified Cotswold(?) cupboard/wardrobe
£10 horrendous steam punk clock leggings (worn once)
£525 35x moleskin notebooks
£119 Hatteras pigskin leather cap dark brown (wax suede stetson hat)
£56 7x Wilko snake charmer kitchen baskets
£479 Nespresso creatista plus coffee machine (doesn't drink coffee)
£199 Bodyclock luxe 700FM alarm clock
£66 Tatty Devine Fishbone necklace
£485 Tiffany 1837 Makers I.D. Tag Pendant in Sterling Silver, 24" (worn at arcade fire gig)
£249 Peak Design rucksack (asda romp)
£245 'Edinburgh book festival' Russell & Bromley chester tassel loafer (dubious provenance)
£245 'Downing Street' leopard monstrosities with block heels
£245 assumed third pair of 'spenny loafers'
£146 Ray Ban sunglasses (one pair, probably multiple)
£140 4x Ikea hejne 'cheapo shoe racks' for seasonal crockery
£72 9x Ikea knagglig wooden box
£324 2x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Dinnerware Set, White, 12 Piece (4x Dinner Plates, 4x Salad Plates, 4x Cereal Bowls)
£92 4x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Mugs, White, Box of 2
£19 Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Cream Jug, White
£136 8x Sophie Conran for Portmeirion Pasta Bowl, Dia.23.5cm, White
~£200 more random Sophie Conran for Portmeirion tit (see instagram)
£294 'I can't forget' screenprint navy/raspberry
~£2,000 438x baubles
£2,000 cooker
£80 Nokia 3310
£1050 3x chest freezers
£70 Dunelm Retro 20L 800W Pink Digital Microwave
£28 John Lewis llama doorstop
£40 Vintage ferguson radio casette recorder
£18 H&M peacock gold candlestick
49 Ted Baker pyjamas
£100 10x H&M gold candlesticks
£116 Instagram look
~£420 3x VegTrugs (unknown quantity)
~£900 botox (estimate, £300/3 areas x 3 treatments)
~£1,056 haircuts at Toni & Guy, Woo Hair etc. (estimate, £66 x 4 per year x 4 years)
~£3,000 2x tattoo sleeves (estimate, £1,500 per sleeve)
£150 wire racking (kept outside)
£30 flamingo neon light
£60 mary poppins parrot umbrella
£384 8x Argos maine narrow bookcase white
£144 3x Argos maine narrow bookcase oak effect
£60 3x Argos maine tall CD DVD tower oak effect
£80 2x Ikea helmer white 6 drawer unit
£1,350 Hopkins SPITE SOFA (designers guild florence 2 seater)
£300 3x wigs
£543 32x copies of cooking on a bootstrap (kickstarter version) just sat there
£250 all saints leather jacket
~£400 bike (estimate)
~£400 bike given to someone who's was stolen (estimate)
£360 cafe 3x weekly for 6 months (£5 x 3pw x 6mo)
£150 puppy grooming package (£25 x 1pm x 6mo)
£45 Bialetti moka color blue 6 cup
£45 Bialetti moka express silver 6 cup
£100 magnum boots
£130 Finn watch
£150 Garmin watch
£120 Dr Martens willow edition boots
£120 Dr Martens red boots
£60 12x derwent colorsoft pencilsTotal:£600 omega seamaster watch (replica?)
£85 leather converse
£135 Global Classic knife
£300 Blok knife (Observer Food Award)
£300 Mcusta Zanmai supreme ripple knife
£75 magnolia tree
£750 Christian Louboutin Audrey Strappy Glitter Sandal (fake?)
£12 'limited edition' vest
£3 Asda Cream Gratitude Slogan Sweatshirt (kids)
~£2,000 400 cookbooks as of 2016 (estimate, 400 x £5 average each)
“£5” denim cargo trousers from Primark
£100 countertop oven
£300 2x more ray ban sunglasses
£1,700 smeg fridge (small, broken?)
£70 nutribullet 600
£295 Pandora bracelet with at least 7 charms (£55 bracelet + 8x £30)
~£2,000 fillers (estimate, £250/ml x 2ml per year x 4 years - since at least 2018)£65,405£72,889
The new pair of boots she bought after wearing the taped together pair for a while on TV (despite having other pairs ...?)
Artificial snow
plastic flower headdress phase
Multiple phones
Le Creuset
furniture and set dressing for the shed outside that she was going to turn into a studio
lawnmower
tents
Ten (at least) outdoor chairs for her Mormon tabernacle Amish prayer circle fellowship things
The hen with the rubber eggs for nesting hens?
dusty plastics string of pearls plant
wallpaper backgrounds
desktop Mac type set up
laptops for 'team of staff'
squishy sofa
velvet sofabed
baskets, baskets everywhere
leather armchairs
calvin klein sportswear
nike pro sportswear
drinking glasses (content approved)
red teardrop drop hoop earrings
leather jackets
teeth whitening (maybe filter)
fake tan
'shoe obsession'
fancy crockery (shitloads)
high quality crystal clear food storage containers (shitloads)
food storage (shitloads, kilner jars etc.)
double monk shoes black
blue heels (mesh design?)
viv clobber
mulberry bag
THAT BLOODY LAMP
watch with flowery strap
watch with chunky silver strap
zone
foodism awards red suit -
bedroom of lies -
dog cushions -
Anything spenny is fair game, but I'll add whatever fraus want.
My own benchmark is discretionary or 'non-essential' spend in the context of someone who claims to not be able to afford shower gel or 6p for butter instead of lard etc.
Jack moves things around constantly so try to avoid double counting.
Instagram is a literal and figurative gold mine (see TBC spoiler).
If I like your stocktake post it means I've seen it and will include in the next update.
Have fun.
Now duck off x
Mulberry bag? Which one was this?
P.S. she's up to a round 571k now
Hehe she really thought she was about to be launched all over the media as the next big hot as tit thing on the Beeb, didn't she. Toot toot!For the newbie ninnies, you may or may not have seen this...I'm still having a dig around to 🔺️ some of her stuff for the epic list c/o @That Forensic Man
Enjoy and I'll be back in a bit xxx hopefully with some goodies x
I hate that photo so much it makes me irrational. Her weird hunched scrunched up middle, yeugh. And why is she on her goddamn sideboard? Wearing a weird droopy bra top?
Because it’s the most rational and effective way to win your ex back, of course
Same. SHE NEVER CLOSES CUPBOARD DOORS OR DRAWERS PROPERLY.
That "pub beer garden" story ought to get some kind of Lifetime Achievement "Did Not Happen Story" award.
I mean, when someone (allegedly) is letting their army of kids run wild, harassing other people's dogs, throwing drinks, and swearing nonstop at everything in sight, the normal reaction is to be upset because their noise is drowning out the recording of your small child's happy noises, for you to play when you're feeling sad. Surrrrre
In real life, someone behaving that badly would have been "spoken to" by the server or the pub manager, and/or have been tossed out on their ear, long before they got to the point of launching drinks trays at other patrons. Or (allegedly) stealing their wallets.
If she needed cashos, she should have just asked her followers to hit her up via PayPal, rather than writing that lengthy ridiculous made-up nonsense as a "reason".
I mean, when someone (allegedly) is letting their army of kids run wild, harassing other people's dogs, throwing drinks, and swearing nonstop at everything in sight, the normal reaction is to be upset because their noise is drowning out the recording of your small child's happy noises, for you to play when you're feeling sad. Surrrrre
In real life, someone behaving that badly would have been "spoken to" by the server or the pub manager, and/or have been tossed out on their ear, long before they got to the point of launching drinks trays at other patrons. Or (allegedly) stealing their wallets.
If she needed cashos, she should have just asked her followers to hit her up via PayPal, rather than writing that lengthy ridiculous made-up nonsense as a "reason".
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My old narc colleague used to do that. Bad make up under her eyes to make out she was ill. It's such a narc thing for sympathy when stuff isn't going their way
I think I'm missing something here - no home means no cooker, and if you're cooking in the hostel in their kitchen to learn how then they can just lend you the cookbook that you need, right? How many copies of a cookbook will one hostel need? So is more than one place it's happening and I'm just confused? I can't imagine anyone, homeless or not, sitting down and just reading a cookbook and that alone teaches them to cook. Do ten copies mean ten people are going to sit and memorise the recipes for when they can finally cook in their own home, and then pass them on to the next ten? Or is it maybe that this cookbook is the greatest work of literature ever and so everyone is keen to read it so they'll need at least 500 copies to stop fights breaking out over slop recipes?
Sorry if what's actually happening here is obvious to everyone else, I just don't get it at all.
All those expensive designer goods. But has never taken SB on a decent holiday…
Like duck Jack would turn down a designer freebie as well, because she was poor and couldn't imagine owning something so £££! Soon got over that didn't she, when she skipped off to Burberry and dropped thousands on 2 poxy coats.
The drawers not being properly closed is what puts a tin hat on the horror for me.
Yep thanks so much for pointing that out (you and Marms) - now I hate it even more, which I didn’t think I could.The drawers not being properly closed is what puts a tin hat on the horror for me.
For me, it's the extension cable hanging down by the microwave with 5 or 6 plugs in it.. 
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