Jack Monroe #380 Hunger Hurts 2: Solar Lantern Boogaloo

[FrumpyCat]

Ah a horrible horrible mistake. Because the man has a LD. If he didn't it was OK then.

How wonderfully wholesome.

first Jack battles with public transport to attend her AA meeting in the vitally important role as a secretary. I know nothing of the secretarial duties, so not sure why Jack would end to arrive so early and leave so late. Was her crumbly shoulder hampering her from setting out the chairs and putting them away afterwards?

Then after taking her beloved Content, although I may rename her Excuse, out for the last walk of the night, a walk that she didn't seem bothered about during Sunday night's alleged shagathon, Jack settled down with a cup of herbal tea. Jack opens Twitter, after all there may be a starving povo in her DMs she need to write a meal plan for. Oh imagine her shock and horror, not only has she told someone with learning difficulties to duck off - other people have noticed.

Jack deletes the tweet then rushes off a sincere apology.

then she also goes on to block all the flying neckbesrds who thought it was was appropriate to send abusive tweets to a person with LD and will be quietly, privately, directing all profits from September's paetron to an appropriate charity to amends. I made up that last bit.

Tldr. Jack is a duplicitous bleep.

 

[HansThatDoDishes]

Dear Sweet LJC Frauen und Herren.

I went to sleep last night while £20 shopgate was still rumbling on and #377 was but in its infancy. I was BUSY today.

And I have now emerged from a non-stop THREE HOUR grunk.

I will never be the same and will no doubt dream of Burger La Bill-Barold hoola hooping and chucking Dove soap spunk at innocent people on Twitter who live in beach huts. Like, I think that was what you were all going on about anyway?

I'm now off to bed and hoping the thread doesn't
get sexjacked again.

ETA: Is THREE bloody threads in a day a record?

 

[Unrinsed_Spaghetti_Hoop]

She walked the dog to the meeting which was being held on the island from Lost, she had to get there four hours early to prepare a Hampton Court level banquet for the 200 attendees.
She was then in charge of the whole meeting because she’s the most important, experienced person to ever be involved in AA.
The meeting lasted for about twelve hours because Jack was giving them a blow by blow (literally tee he) account of her getting buggered by Billy.
She then stayed for two days after to clean up and then took the dog for another walk which is when she opened her phone screen and clasped her face in horror at the very thought of accidentally being hurtful to someone.

It’s really quite straight forward dear heart, not sure why you don’t get it

Laying in the dark laughing my ass off trying not to wake anyone up... Emboldened the text - thread title nomination? Too early but too funny not to

Also, has anyone ever had any tea with regards her peers at school? Jack seems like the classic bully who grew up and never changed her ways.

The more I get to know her, the more I think everything is a lie. All these supposed ailments and disabilities? Everything is an excuse. For someone supposedly in AA she really doesn't have a scrap of accountability.

I also don't believe she went to any magical mystery meeting today where it was Planes, Trains and Automobiles.

 

[Tabitha D]

Well, a lot of people have been watching Jack on Twitter since Molly’s thread. Including her beloved blue ticks. And she’s really shown them who she is - which is thick as mince, greedy, argumentative, unpleasant, self important, ill-informed, self-obsessed, grandiose, vicious, vindictive and a bully. Lovely! Well played Jack.
And still the lies keep coming.
Her father hitch-hiked 30 miles in his fireman uniform? No he did not. That’s ludicrous. He will have changed into his uniform at work, like everyone else. And was he hitch-hiking from Southend to Southend?
Then she says she’s had a housemate for a year. When just the other day she was whining about being lumbered with a fixed-term lease by her departed partner. So which is it? She’s paying all the rent herself - or she has a lodger who is also contributing?
As for the night of grotty sex with some random hookup who bought her a Big Mac then left at 3 a.m. (quite possibly wiping his cock on the curtains on the way out). It’s hardly love’s young dream, is it. How things have changed since the heady days of the millionaire girlfriend and living it up at the Groucho. And still, she thought this delightful story was worth sharing with her 500,000+ followers, for her son and her family to see.
She’s really fucked it up this time. There’s no going back.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Well, a lot of people have been watching Jack on Twitter since Molly’s thread. Including her beloved blue ticks. And she’s really shown them who she is - which is thick as mince, greedy, argumentative, unpleasant, self important, ill-informed, self-obsessed, grandiose, vicious, vindictive and a bully. Lovely! Well played Jack.
And still the lies keep coming.
Her father hitch-hiked 30 miles in his fireman uniform? No he did not. That’s ludicrous. He will have changed into his uniform at work, like everyone else. And was he hitch-hiking from Southend to Southend?
Then she says she’s had a housemate for a year. When just the other day she was whining about being lumbered with a fixed-term lease by her departed partner. So which is it? She’s paying all the rent herself - or she has a lodger who is also contributing?
As for the night of grotty sex with some random hookup who bought her a Big Mac then left at 3 a.m. (quite possibly wiping his cock on the curtains on the way out). It’s hardly love’s young dream, is it. How things have changed since the heady days of the millionaire girlfriend and living it up at the Groucho. And still, she thought this delightful story was worth sharing with her 500,000+ followers, for her son and her family to see.
She’s really fucked it up this time. There’s no going back.

And what is completely self evident is that she does no work. She appeared on R4 for a few minutes but does absolutely bugger all the rest of the time. Which is fair enough - but she constantly goes on about her 120hr unpaid working week. And expects others to fund this 'work'. (I'm afraid I'm discounting the prison visits, weekly food bank volunteering and weekly meetings with the ONS ).
She was going to be putting the steak and blue cheese recipe on her blog but didn't (no loss I know).
Again who actually cares - but the constant narrative on twitter is 'ah Jack does so much for so many' and we are all

 

[jenny2603]

Well, a lot of people have been watching Jack on Twitter since Molly’s thread. Including her beloved blue ticks. And she’s really shown them who she is - which is thick as mince, greedy, argumentative, unpleasant, self important, ill-informed, self-obsessed, grandiose, vicious, vindictive and a bully. Lovely! Well played Jack.
And still the lies keep coming.
Her father hitch-hiked 30 miles in his fireman uniform? No he did not. That’s ludicrous. He will have changed into his uniform at work, like everyone else. And was he hitch-hiking from Southend to Southend?
Then she says she’s had a housemate for a year. When just the other day she was whining about being lumbered with a fixed-term lease by her departed partner. So which is it? She’s paying all the rent herself - or she has a lodger who is also contributing?
As for the night of grotty sex with some random hookup who bought her a Big Mac then left at 3 a.m. (quite possibly wiping his cock on the curtains on the way out). It’s hardly love’s young dream, is it. How things have changed since the heady days of the millionaire girlfriend and living it up at the Groucho. And still, she thought this delightful story was worth sharing with her 500,000+ followers, for her son and her family to see.
She’s really fucked it up this time. There’s no going back.

God there are just so many lies but the hitch hiking one is just bleeping off the scale bonkers. I didn't grow up poor, we started out working class and by the time I hit my teens were lower middle class, neither of my parents earned as much as Jack's parents and we even had a temporary unemployment POVERTY drama at a couple of points. However at no time was anyone hitch hiking to work- once when the car got nicked my dad had to get the bus for a bit and I was upset because the person who nicked the car set fire to it which I just thought was really mean spirited. We either walked to school or got lifts with neighbours or sometimes my dad if he was working nearby, there was no great drama in any of this and as far as I can tell it was how everyone else was getting about. Neither of my parents are financial geniuses and were both working in pretty modest retail jobs, one part time (mum) and full time (dad) yet they could get to work and get their children to school. I just cannot fathom how a decently paid public sector worker was habitually struggling to get to work and was apparently wearing some sort of humiliating trousers during this odd episode. I really wish Big Dave would come on here and do an AMA because there's just so much I want to know about all of this. I can't be arsed making a trifle but I would be prepared to spray a ready made trifle gold and send a picture of it to Big Dave as an incentive to clear this up for us.

 

[elliejoonm]

Hello night fraus! As we maintain a 24 hour vigil to ensure no tweet of Jack's goes un-screenshot, let us hope that we get a reprieve from sex Jack tonight. That was a lot.

 

[sixdinnersid83]

He had a lot of support from people who have your number and who you’ve basically admitted it’s alright to tell to ‘go duck’ themselves because they don’t have a learning disability. Also, that creepy ski squig must feel like a right head now after echoing the ‘go duck yourself’ and swarming up to Jack. I bet the sycophantic little creep has hastily deleted his tweet.
God, imagine sucking up to Jack. He must have zero self esteem.

He is always being the white knight for Jack on Twitter. Tweet is still up with his school ski trip photo.

 

[Jelly Bean]

God there are just so many lies but the hitch hiking one is just bleeping off the scale bonkers. I didn't grow up poor, we started out working class and by the time I hit my teens were lower middle class, neither of my parents earned as much as Jack's parents and we even had a temporary unemployment POVERTY drama at a couple of points. However at no time was anyone hitch hiking to work- once when the car got nicked my dad had to get the bus for a bit and I was upset because the person who nicked the car set fire to it which I just thought was really mean spirited. We either walked to school or got lifts with neighbours or sometimes my dad if he was working nearby, there was no great drama in any of this and as far as I can tell it was how everyone else was getting about. Neither of my parents are financial geniuses and were both working in pretty modest retail jobs, one part time (mum) and full time (dad) yet they could get to work and get their children to school. I just cannot fathom how a decently paid public sector worker was habitually struggling to get to work and was apparently wearing some sort of humiliating trousers during this odd episode. I really wish Big Dave would come on here and do an AMA because there's just so much I want to know about all of this. I can't be arsed making a trifle but I would be prepared to spray a ready made trifle gold and send a picture of it to Big Dave as an incentive to clear this up for us.

Seems to be another way for Jack to make her parents look quite pathetic as well as negligent. And then the wierd flurries of 'I'll protect them fiercely with the burning fury of a thousand suns' etc etc.
She doesn't seem to grasp her pity stories of her youth always paint her poor parents in a bad light.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Did Twitter kamikaze itself to stop round two of nightmeat?

Well played, Twitter. Well played.

 

[SeeleyBooth]

I think that apology is the result of a family member getting in touch with her, either her Mum or Dad. The language used (which looks like it was provided to her) seems like something that a parent, rather than a work contact, such as her agent would say.

The telling part for me was "I truly feel very ashamed of myself."

That's a parent telling a naughty kid that they should feel ashamed of themselves due to their bad behaviour.

Could they please take away her phone as punishment whilst they're on?

 

[Moneypenny’sfreedom]

No one would choose to live with her. I have never ever heard of a tenancy which prohibits overnight guests etc… subletting yes … but not overnight guests in a whole house ( am not talking about houses of multiple occupation) so she must have lied about that as well.

It’s revolting watching the flying monkeys fawning all over her, and the pathetic apology, someone hurry up and take her down. Surely there is enough now.

 

[MistyWindows]

God there are just so many lies but the hitch hiking one is just bleeping off the scale bonkers. I didn't grow up poor, we started out working class and by the time I hit my teens were lower middle class, neither of my parents earned as much as Jack's parents and we even had a temporary unemployment POVERTY drama at a couple of points. However at no time was anyone hitch hiking to work- once when the car got nicked my dad had to get the bus for a bit and I was upset because the person who nicked the car set fire to it which I just thought was really mean spirited. We either walked to school or got lifts with neighbours or sometimes my dad if he was working nearby, there was no great drama in any of this and as far as I can tell it was how everyone else was getting about. Neither of my parents are financial geniuses and were both working in pretty modest retail jobs, one part time (mum) and full time (dad) yet they could get to work and get their children to school. I just cannot fathom how a decently paid public sector worker was habitually struggling to get to work and was apparently wearing some sort of humiliating trousers during this odd episode. I really wish Big Dave would come on here and do an AMA because there's just so much I want to know about all of this. I can't be arsed making a trifle but I would be prepared to spray a ready made trifle gold and send a picture of it to Big Dave as an incentive to clear this up for us.

So I completely agree with you and I’ve been trying to put this into words all weekend because she’s pissed me off, I’ve ended up going on a bit of a me rail so I’m sorry about that

Spoiler: Jack can jog on basically

That rant actually really bothered me, usually I find Jack repulsively awful but also so ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh, but I felt really awful for her parents!

My dad grew up in actual poverty, my grandad was an abusive piece of work when he was around (which he barely was) and my also abusive grandmother struggled a lot with untreated mental illness on top of working full time and raising two kids on her own (grandfather spent all his wages on booze and gambling etc).
I can’t even start to imagine what my dad’s life must have been like, he barely ever spoke about it and didn’t like people to know at all until he got older (he wouldn’t care about me telling you this anonymously btw because he would have loathed Jack with all his being lol)
He managed a job at a factory and basically worked his absolute arse off and his way up to being a well paid and traveled salesman with a lot of connections, despite having literally no qualifications.

Because of this our upbringing was a million miles from his, we didn’t get to see him much at all and half the year he lived abroad, which must have been hard for him because he loved being a dad, even if we were a pain in the arse!
But we never had to worry about money in the way that they did and we didn’t go without, I was a lot more financially luckily than a lot of my friends growing up.
Dad was very paranoid about us being viewed as (his words not mine) ‘plebs’ so we were never aloud to look ‘scruffy’, which was annoying as hell at the time but I understand it now. He was so desperate for us to have a good life and not go through what he did, which made him determined for us to be viewed as middle class and well off (I’m not saying he’s right, just explaining his own logic).
He struggled with his mental health all his life because of his childhood and died before he should have due to this.
I’m absolutely not saying that it’s anyone’s choice for their family to grow up in poverty (well… maybe with the exception of Jack), my dad made a lot of sacrifices and spent his whole life grafting but he DID also get lucky (and was a white man in a first world country) and I know that.
I’ll never stop being so so grateful to him, everything he did was for us, even if sometimes it was a misguided attempt to look a certain way, if you get me?
If, when he was still alive, I told ANYONE lies about how I grew up and implied that I lived in a hovel and was barely fed enough to get by it would have broken his heart.
Let alone half a million bleeping people.
Can you imagine being Jack grandfather or dad and seeing all this bollocks about her growing up like Oliver Twist?!
No one was trying to shame Jack’s father or grandfather for being wealthy, just trying to point out that she didn’t grow up in bleeping poverty and that she’s completely oblivious to her privilege.
If I was her parents I would be absolutely distraught with her, what a twit.

Right. Off for a cup of tea and some jammy dodgers

Edit: just wanted to point out that I focused mainly on her paternal relatives because that’s why I could compare my situation to, no shade on mama Evelyn!

 

[SeeleyBooth]

I’ve been taking a bit of a break because I’m EXHAUSTED with Jack, but I’m just popping in to commemorate the one-year anniversary of a squig

Spoiler: Making THIS

View attachment 1538745

TW for @colouredlines who might just want to skip on past

I think this would give Iqbal flashbacks too (justice for Iqbal )

 

[waffle maker]

Shift workers:
restaurants (including McDonald’s)
24 hour garage
Everyone who works in a hospital (even cleaners wear scrubs)
Deliveroo
Firemanlady
Taxi driver

makes you think

 

[SeeleyBooth]

Her last tweet was a rather half hearted defence of the protein in mushrooms

View attachment 1538769

This weekend has definitely implied more than a few grams

 

[MistyWindows]

Shift workers:
restaurants (including McDonald’s)
24 hour garage
Everyone who works in a hospital (even cleaners wear scrubs)
Deliveroo
Firemanlady
Taxi driver

makes you think

add onto that:
Imaginary people

 

[Cookiecookie]

I'd like to ask Jack if anyone at the meeting noticed how much she seemed to uh enjoy the weekend and if she shared her incredible tips for staying up right throughout with the rest of the group?

Have you ever seen a show called Dopesick Nation? It was a pair of in recovery addicts helping others to rehab places in Florida. Only, one of them, very obviously, was not managing to maintain his sobriety.

I think he really did mean well though. Jack does not. I cannot imagine that malevolent presence in a meeting. She'd be there like a succubus looking for stories to steal and people to be taking home for burgers.

 

[jenny2603]

Seems to be another way for Jack to make her parents look quite pathetic as well as negligent. And then the wierd flurries of 'I'll protect them fiercely with the burning fury of a thousand suns' etc etc.
She doesn't seem to grasp her pity stories of her youth always paint her poor parents in a bad light.

I don't believe a word of Jacks struggling parents stories but FFS these people were foster carers, if they were anything like the way Jack makes them out to be there would have to be a public inquiry to find out how such a situation was allowed to arise. Withholding diagnoses of autism from Jack, kid expelled for stealing a scalpel, barely enough to eat, unable to get to work and kids are being sent into this? Failing to notice their grandchild was starving or their daughter was living rough but yeah send foster kids. She's insane and of all the tit she's pulled I cannot fathom how they begin to deal with the public humiliation she's put on them.

 

[Captainmouse]

That would be against their T&Cs... if only for Children, She knows this because she is forensically blessed on account of one of the many Acronyms she suffers from.

You need to relive the go Henry chaos

Jack Monroe #156 Super crabby ADHD faux vegan is mendacious

The one you signed up for fraudulently? Yes, how tedious that laws apply to you too, Jack. CPS? That's the Crown Prosecution Service. Is she getting confused with the American Child Protection Services? Stop trying to be American. You are embarrassing.

tattle.life